Real Love

Chapter 11: You Must Love Me

Disclaimer: definitely still not mine.

A/N: Sorry this chapter took awhile. I made a few changes in the story and this had to be written from scratch, and I struggled with it quite a bit. Still not sure I love it, but it will have to do. Hope you like it. Look for chapter 12 sooner. Thanks to all the readers and extra thanks to my reviewers. I live for you. -Bella

Where do we go from here?
This isn't where we intended to be
We had it all, you believed in me
I believed in you

Certainties disappear
What do we do for our dream to survive?
How do we keep all our passions alive,
As we used to do?

Deep in my heart I'm concealing
Things that I'm longing to say
Scared to confess what I'm feeling
Frightened you'll slip away

You must love me
You must love me

-You Must Love Me, Madonna

Ginny thought she just might break into tears when the tall blond ducked into the prefect's compartment and sat down as far away from her as possible, never even glancing her way. Blaise sent her a helpless look as he sat down beside him, and suddenly Ginny felt extra foolish for all the time she had spent getting ready that morning.

She'd spent days deciding what to wear, and the next few on how to wear her hair. Even Fred and George had noticed she had gussied up.

The silent ride in the stuffy cabin was longer than she ever remembered, as was dinner. Seamus had greeted her with hugs she had struggled to reciprocate, while Neville had sat beside her and Hermione asking conversational questions about break that Ginny kept forgetting before she could answer. Her mind was elsewhere and as soon as she finished her dinner she rushed to his room.

He opened the door after only one knock and as soon as she was inside, his lips were on hers. Violently she pushed him away and glared at him.

"No!" she commanded. "That's not how it works. You can't just ignore me for a month and then…"

"I wasn't ignoring you Ginny…"

"I sent you an owl everyday after Christmas. Everyday! And everyday it came back."

"Unknown owls can't find Malfoy property." He replied nonchalantly.

"You couldn't have made an exception for mine?"

"Ginny," he took her hand into his. "You're better off not contacting me there. I don't want you to."

She pulled her hand away.

"Couldn't dare tell your mother about me could you? Or even let her suspect? By the way your little messages just slipped by my entire family. That demon owl of yours made Charlie bleed!"

"He shouldn't have been trying to look at your mail." Draco shrugged. Ginny fumed. Was he enjoying this? Couldn't he tell how angry she was? "Didn't dare tell them about us though huh?" he added.

"Tell them what?" she exclaimed. "I didn't know what to say when it came to you! You let me leave and you didn't even say goodbye!" Ginny felt like a stupid little girl as tears pricked her eyes.

"What did you want me to say Ginny?" Draco finally showed some emotion. "Have a good break? Happy Christmas? Going home was what you needed to do Weasley, and the only thing I could even think to say that day you left was to ask you to stay. I needed you to stay, but you needed to go, so I let you."

Ginny felt her anger flowing away, but she held on. "I needed you to say goodbye," she whispered.

"If it helps, I missed you."

"And if it doesn't help?"

"Well then I didn't miss you at all," he sassed, smiling.

"I missed you too." She admitted, and finally accepted his embrace.

As she lie in bed beside Draco, days later, she couldn't help but think about dinner that day. She had been silently communicating with Blaise across the room when right beside him Pansy Parkinson had wrapped her arms around Draco seductively whispered into his ear.

It wasn't that that had bothered her, as Draco had promptly removed her claws from him and curtly sent her on her way. As she watched though Hermione had cocked her head and asked, "How long are you going to keep this a secret from everyone?"

They had never really discussed it. It had all happened so suddenly, and then when they came back both had fallen back into their secret encounters. The more she thought about it the less content with their arrangement she was.

But what if he was? The idea that he would be unwilling to take her hand and walk into the Great Hall with her terrified her. Could she be with someone who she could only meet in the shadows of the night? However, as weak as it made her feel, the idea of losing him terrified her even more.

"I can't stay tonight." She turned to him, suddenly desperate to get away. "I have an assignment I have to do." It was true, though she could have done it in the morning.

"Damn," he teased. He pressed his forehead against hers so she could no longer avoid his eyes. "And I had such big plans for you too."

"Tomorrow." She offered.

"I had plans for tomorrow too…" he whispered into her ear.

"Well I guess we'll have to meet here for lunch then."

He smiled. "It's a date Weasley."

Draco sat up in bed and rubbed his face after Ginny had slipped away. This wasn't how he had planned things to go. He'd planned to come back to school and end things with her immediately. That would have been the best thing for her. If he was going to spend the next years of his life in danger, he wouldn't have her spending the next years of her life worrying she was going to lose yet another person she loved. He couldn't do that to her.

It had taken everything in him to keep away from her on the train. Seeing her had brought back all of the feelings he'd managed to suppress in the weeks he spent in that cold heartless house, away from her. She'd looked so beautiful, and the rejection in her eyes as he sat away from her had torn him down. He was unable to turn her away when she showed up at his door that night, and every night since.

He slid on his black pants and frowned at the wrinkles in them from being carelessly thrown to the floor, before slipping on the rest of his school robes and heading out of his room. He had been relieved when Ginny had told him she had to leave to work on an assignment. He hadn't figured out what he was going to tell her.

He headed down the winding stairs into the basement. The potions hallway was empty: not a student dared come near unless they had to now that Snape was back. Draco gave a firm knock on his Professor's door.

"Come in," he replied in his low drawl.

Draco entered the room and found Snape and Lupin sitting around Snape's small round dining table, a third chair ominously awaiting him. The lighting was very dark, but Draco could still make out the concern on both men's faces.

"Draco," Lupin stood and greeted him. His soft friendly features were more striking here in the potions dungeon beside Severus Snape. "I'm very glad you came."

Draco nodded and took a seat.

"I'm sure you're a little confused…"

Snape cut the other man off. "Everyone important is dead or on trial. Those left are searching for a leader." His teacher knew he did not need to be babied though it. "And surprisingly none of them are quite stupid enough to entrust me."

"But who would doubt a Malfoy?" Draco sat back.

He saw Lupin relax a little as the man realized Draco knew exactly what they wanted him to do.

"We won't expect you to step in until after graduation, and in fact the time should only add to their desperation for leadership, but until then…"

"Until then you have to make sure no one might connect you to the cause…"Snape spoke directly to him, and Draco understood the look in his eye. If anyone found out about him and Ginny all bets were off.

"Others know sir…"

"Take care of it. No one can know Draco…no one."

That was when it hit him. He didn't just have to leave her, he had to make her believe he was everything his father had wanted him to be and everything she was not. His doubt must have shown, because Lupin's softer more sympathetic voice spoke up.

"I know she's been through a lot Draco, but she's a strong girl, and she'll be safer if she doesn't know anything. Think of what happened to Ron. "

That was enough. The idea of death eaters coming after her for information made him hot with a discomfort that overshadowed every other emotion within him.

"I can do it."

Snape gave him an approving look that almost looked unnatural on his harsh features and replied, "I know you can."

Ginny lazily strolled out of the potions classroom, finally done with her assignment. Snape was trying to make up for lost time and Ginny felt slightly lost in the subject she was usually quite comfortable with. She was rounding the corner when Snape's door opened and she ducked back. From his room came a man cloaked in black, much too short to be her grumpy professor. He looked both ways before rushing away, his face concealed. Ginny hid again as the door creaked open and clunked shut on more time. This time though the man exiting the room was clearly recognizable. Walking her way was Draco, his face cold as stone.

Unsure of what to do, or what was going on, Ginny spun on her heels and began walking back the way she had come. She pretended not to notice, as the sound of his footsteps on the cold stone floor grew closer. His long legs had no trouble gaining on her.

"What are you doing down here in the dungeons Miss. Weasley?" She jumped as his arms slipped around her. She turned around and he was smiling down at her. "And isn't your room that way?" He nodded his head in the other direction.

"Maybe I was on my way to see someone."

"I thought you said you weren't coming back. Should have known you couldn't stay away."

"Seems like you're the one who can't stay away." Ginny played her cards carefully.

"Granger told me you were here. You should have told me you were having trouble in potions."

"I'm not having trouble. I was just a tad behind, and now I'm not."

"If your struggling in school because your spending too much time with me…"

Ginny's jaw dropped. Who was he? Her mother?

"I'm not struggling in school and what on earth would make you think I'm letting whatever the hell this is affect my studies."

"Studies? When do you study?" he laughed at her, making her boil even more.

"Like you can talk!"

"Well I'm… Malfoy's are highly…"

"You think you're smarter than me! You think I'm stupid!" She stared at him incredulously.

"Well you can't be too dumb Weasley. You are dating me…"

That was a wrong turn. She blew.

"Dating! Dating? Is that what you call this? You tell me you love me and then disappear for a month. And now you sneak me into your room every night and call it a relationship?"

"The ideal one I might add." She wanted to slap the grin right off his face. Instead she crossed her arms and looked in dead in the eye.

"Let's go to breakfast together in the morning."

"That's cute Weasley."

Draco cursed as Ginny face turned from annoyance to hurt. He'd always be a brilliant liar, and he'd always be able to piss off a Weasley, but he would never master seeing Ginny cry.

"Hey Weasley…don't get all worked up. You know the worlds not ready for us yet. They're heads would explode."

She nodded, but he knew she didn't buy it.

"Soon," he lied and reached out for her hand, entwining his hand in hers. She weakly reciprocated "There are still to many things…" Guilt settled in his gut when she looked up at him with trusting eyes and smiled.

"One day this will all be long behind us," he hoped.

He watched her sleep, unable to himself. Her hair set the pillow a flame, and her porcelain skin seemed more delicate than ever. It hadn't surprised him how easily he had lied to her, how easily he had made her forget to ask why he'd been down in the potions corridor. It had surprised him still how hard letting her go was going to be. "Its as though sometimes your not so sure this what you want," she had expressed to him freely. To not want her. The thought was incredible. Even more incredible was that she could believe it. It was his chance though. He could have agreed and started the descent to the end but instead he bent down and whispered to her,

"You think that I don't want you."

"I know you want me Malfoy," she giggled. "You've proved that much. I just don't think you want me in public." Her eyes danced with mischief.

He replied with a vicious kiss and pinned her against the wall. Her hand wrapped themselves around his neck and her fingers tips tangled in his hair.

"Draco, not here…" she whispered weakly as his hand traveled up her dark gray wool skirt and slipped her panties to the side. "Someone might see."

"Let them," he growled in return.

It was after, when he panted into her shoulder, not yet ready to be released from her clutches, and unwarranted disappointment washed over him that he realized he had wanted to be discovered. He'd wanted someone to hear him cry out her name, and release him of his duty.

But they hadn't, and the moment had passed, and now Draco knew what it was he had to do.

Several weeks passed and Ginny's nightly ritual of sneaking into Draco's room after dinner and sneaking out through Hermione's room in the wee hours of the morning was becoming more degrading every day. Perhaps any woman would have done the same, or perhaps it was her Weasley temper, but Ginevra Weasley was out for blood.

Donned in her shortest school skirt and her black pumps, Ginny let one extra button loose on her blouse and strutted through the doors of the Great Hall. She gave one glance at her table and found Hermione looking back at her, a quizzical expression on her face. Ginny grinned back at the girl and then turned the opposite way, heading straight for the Slytherin table.

"Is this seat taken?" she leaned over the tall boy sitting in the middle of the table.

"Not if you want it." Blaise smiled up at her. "And to what do I owe this pleasure?" He eyed her.

"Just thought I should come sit with you for a change."

He responded with a 'Yeah right' look. Both of them knew she was sitting in the seat generally saved for Draco, and both of them knew she didn't generally wear heels with her school uniform.

"Wow Weasley, you could almost pass for a real whore." He arrived.

"Well we can't all have Pansy's wardrobe." Ginny shot him a saccharine sweet smile as he sat down across from Blaise at the big wooden table.

Blaise laughed aloud. "Do you call them whores if they don't charge?"

Ginny wrinkled her nose. "Well I hope you protected yourself."

"Me?" Blaise exclaimed defensively. "I have never stooped that low."

Ginny leaned closer and whispered into his ear.

"Well, you can't hold it against him too much. She was his first after all." He spoke in a low voice but loud enough so that Malfoy could hear him. Ginny forced back the jealousy she felt within herself and feigned a gag.

"What can I say Weasley? Not all of our first times can be as special as yours."

"Are they all as unmemorable?"

Blaise leaned towards her and whispered in her ear. "Am I missing something here?"

Ginny leaned back and cupped her hand around his ear. "I'm not playing his game anymore. If he wants to play games, it's going to be mine."

"You want to go for a walk?" Blaise offered aloud. He clearly wanted to speak with her more privately.

But at that moment Pansy Parkinson sat down next to Draco and planted a big kiss right on his lips. Shock shattered through Ginny as he reciprocated.

"My ears were ringing," Pansy giggled and kissed him once more before sitting properly across from Ginny.

"Well if that's not enough to ruin my appetite." Ginny pushed away her plate.

"Maybe you should sit with us more often then Weasley. You could stand to skip a few meals."

Everything in her wanted to reach across that table rip Pansy's blindingly blond hair from her head. Instead she smiled at the girl.

"You know I just might. Thanks Pansy!"

Pansy just stared as she finished her orange juice with a cheery smile.

"Mmm. Well I should get to class. See you later Blaise."

He eyed her carefully but gave her a friendly kiss on the cheek before she stood and left without a glance back, so the eyes she felt watching her couldn't see her confidence crumbling away.

She didn't bother knocking before bursting into his room that night. She found him lounging lazily on top of all his blankets. His robes were shed and his necktie hung loosely down his chest. His hair was flopped in his eyes as he peered up at her.

"I see you changed."

"What was that this morning?" she yelled.

"Indeed," was all he had to say.

"I didn't realize not seeing each other publicly meant seeing other people." She hadn't been to think of anything but Pansy's lips on his all day.

"It doesn't."

"You kissed her! You kissed her right in front of me! What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking, love, that you were spending your morning waving your tits in Zabini's face"

"I was not!"

"So you always unbutton your blouse so that your bra shows."

"It wasn't for Blaise, Draco! It was for you!" she spat with anger. "Its all for you!" She hesitated a bit to tell him the latter part.

"You looked like trash."

The harsh words were unexpected and Ginny sucked in, shocked.

He wasn't even looking at her. He was just staring at his hands, admiring his fingernails.

"Maybe that's because you treat me like trash. I thought that's what you wanted."

Ginny spun as quickly as she could and fled the room, and for the first time since she had first slept in Draco Malfoy's arms, she slept in her own dorm, alone.

He had been unable to look at her as he called her trash. Had he, he may not have been able to spit out such a ridiculous accusation. And surely he would have stopped her before she left if he'd been able to see the look on her face.

The look on her face after he'd kissed Pansy had almost been enough to break him right there in the Great Hall. But walking in to see her sitting cozily with Blaise in the sexiest get up he'd ever seen her in had infuriated him beyond sanity, and Pansy had made his revenge all too easy.

A part of him hoped that it had been that easy, and that Ginny would not be back. The rest of him was terrified of the same.

A rapid knock on the door brought him to his feet before he could even think about it. He swung open the door and his hopes dropped when Snape bowed in.

"We have an unanticipated problem. Your mother."

Everyone looked up in astonishment as he slowly entered the room. He glanced around and recognized all of the faces staring back at him. He deliberately circled the dim room, and then stopped beside the most familiar face.

"I heard there was a meeting going on in my house, in my study, but I don't recall calling one." Draco lifted his fathers mask from his face with his gloved hand and placed in on the big table beside him.

"Draco! What are you doing here?" his mother stood and approached him.

"My father was the Lord's second in command, and I am his heir. I am in charge now."

"You're a boy!" she exclaimed indignantly.

"You're a woman." He sneered at her. "And a fool. Do you really think its been long enough to gather without it getting out? Not even six months and you think your not being watched."

"You know very well the Manor is protected. How would anyone…"

"I'm here aren't I? Leave us."

His mother opened her mouth to protest but he darkened his eyes at her.

"As you wish," she bowed her head and left.

Draco turned to the rest of the hooded men. They sat around the room staring at him like orphaned children, hopeful that he would be the one to adopt them.

"You're all pathetic. If you weren't you'd all be in prison."

He paced the silent room, eyeing each death eater.

"I don't want to hear of a single one of you seeing another until after graduation. By then the ministry will be finishing up their investigations, and we will be freer to begin planning our next move. Until then, I don't want to know any of you even exist. Does everyone understand?" He stood at the front of the room and carefully eyed each man. Not one spoke up against him and Draco gave his best Malfoy smirk.

"Wonderful then."

It was so late it was nearly early when Draco crept back into his bedroom. Promptly he shoved the bag he carried his fathers robes in into his wardrobe, and locked it in. He'd only spent an hour or so in them, but felt disgusting all the same.

Exhausted he stripped off all but his boxers and headed for his bed. He stopped mid stride when he suddenly noticed the small girl curled up on his bed. Silently he approached her and slipped under the covers. He lay stiff on his back, too fearful to touch her. Too fearful that touching her would put him right back where he had started, and unable to again resign himself to letting her go.

"Draco?" she whispered sleepily. Her warm body rolled closer to him and he felt her head lay upon his chest. He didn't dare open his eyes an acknowledge her.

"Oh Draco what are you doing? Please don't shut me out." She spoke to him, believing he was sleeping.

His chest clenched. Only Ginny would have that much faith in him.

"I know you love me."

The words came out with little confidence.

She then added.

"You have to love me."

When he awoke in the morning, she was gone.