Author's Note:

Surprise! So this chapter was born out of spending 6 hours alone in a car one day and a glance at the gif of Sam pushing Blaine in the choir room and Blaine defending himself. I made my beta a sad panda because it's really angsty. But I also think it's a really necessary step to move into the second half of the season.

Love to my beta, typegirl19, and to MuseInMe3 for giving me the push I needed to finish this chapter. And for saying that my angst makes things sweeter rather than worse. I hope she's right.

WARNINGS: Parental emotional abuse and allusions to physical abuse.

"Get your coat on Blaine, it's time to go," Colonel Anderson yelled.

Blaine walked slowly down the stairs, his sheet music in hand and grabbed his peacoat.

"Jenny's really been looking forward to this duet," he told Blaine. "She's been asking about you a lot," he said with a sly wink. "Asked if you had a girlfriend."

Blaine froze in place, his stomach quickly tying into knots. It was moments like these he knew his father was just itching to pick a fight. "What did you tell her?" he asked cautiously.

"I told her you didn't," his father smirked. "She was very pleased."

"But why would you tell her that?" Blaine questioned unable to hold back his frustration. "It's just leading her on. She'll think I'm interested."

"Well you should be," the Colonel answered bluntly.

"Dad, wishing it away is not going to make me not gay," Blaine said.

Blaine knew the strike was coming and he knew it was aimed for his face, but at the last minute Blaine's public performance in a little over an hour was remembered and it was redirected. The blow against his arm still stung and knocked him off balance, but it could have been far worse. His father's finger was instantly in his face. "There will be no more of that talk in my house," he commanded. "Now get your coat on."

I really can't stay
Get over that hold out
Ahh..But it's cold outside

Blaine smiled at Jenny as the audience filled with serviceman and their families applauded for them. She beamed back at him, her pale cheeks rosy, her bright blue eyes shining with delight and pride. She nearly skipped as she grabbed his hand and pulled him backstage, her arms flinging around him in a giant hug before the next act barely even made it onstage.

"That was amazing Blaine!" she exclaimed breathlessly before gathering her nerve and kissing him. Blaine's eyes opened wide in shock and he brusquely pulled away from her lips.

"What's the matter?" she asked, hurt and confused. "Don't you like me?"

"Of course I like you, Jenny," he answered quickly, trying to make her feel better. "We've been friends since our dads came back from the war."

"Well aren't I pretty?" she asked, running a finger through her long blonde hair dejectedly.

"You're beautiful," Blaine answered awkwardly, his brow furrowing. He hated that he was making her doubt herself.

"Your dad said you didn't have a girlfriend," she said, still trying to figure out why Blaine didn't like her.

"I don't have a girlfriend," he said definitively, then flushed nervously. "I mean, I'm not dating anyone," he clarified.

"Then why Blaine?" she coaxed.

"It's just," Blaine stammered.

"If you don't have a girlfriend then it's just what?" she asked impatiently.

Blaine stared through her as he weighed his options. He hated lying, but he was scared to tell the truth. He could just walk away without an explanation, but he knew that would hurt her even more. He started and stopped half a dozen times before he lowered his eyes and quietly answered as honestly as he could. "I don't have a boyfriend either."

She opened her mouth to speak and then closed it, dropping her hands that had still been on his arms. "Oh," she said, and he knew she understood.

"Please don't tell my Dad I told you," he pleaded desperately.

She looked at him questioningly. "Why? He doesn't know?"

Blaine looked to the floor. "No, he knows. He just doesn't want anyone else to."

He looked up at her hopefully. She simply nodded and walked away.

An hour later, a painful grip grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into a corner. "Why am I hearing whispers about my son being gay?" Colonel Anderson hissed.

Blaine blanched and shook with fear, but he stood up to his father as he always did. "Jenny tried to kiss me, what was I supposed to do?"

"Kiss her back," his father sneered, "like every other boy at this party would die to do."

"You know I don't want to," Blaine whispered.

"No. You just want to be a buckboy whore who sleeps around and sells his pretty boy body to all the fags for a dollar at the closest strip club," the Colonel snapped. Blaine's breath hitched at the hideous words and he battled back the tears that wanted to fall, fearing they would just make things worse. "Go wait for us in the car," his father ordered.

"But it's freezing out there," Blaine protested, glancing at the snow falling amongst the Christmas lights outside the country club windows.

"Don't worry, I'll be sure to warm your ass as soon as we get home," he threatened as he shoved him in the direction of the door.

Blaine was curled up in the car, shivering with cold and nerves for nearly an hour before his mother and father drove him home to make good on the threat.

Blaine woke with a start, shivering as sweat covered his skin. "Shhh…" he heard Cooper say as he was gently pulled from his dream. "It's okay Blaine, you're safe."

Blaine took a deep breath and pulled the blankets tighter around him, trying to reorient himself to the here and now. He wasn't in Westerville two Christmas' ago, he was in the hotel room with Cooper in New York. He'd spent Christmas with Kurt today. He'd be meeting Burt at the airport in the morning.

"Nightmare?" Cooper asked worried. He'd tried to wake Blaine as soon as he'd heard his brother's terrified moans.

But Blaine shook his head. "No. Memories." He pulled his knees in tight and looked at Cooper, his face resting on his knees. "I should have known it was coming, but it's been a while."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Cooper asked.

Blaine considered it. He'd told Cooper about most of the things his father had done, but this had not been one of them. The words his father had said to him that day had damaged him more than anything else he'd ever done to Blaine. "No."

Cooper grasped his hand and looked Blaine straight in the eye. "Whatever Dad did to you, you can tell me."

"I know," Blaine said softly. "But you don't need to be filled with those memories Coop. Dad may still be a lot of things. But he's not that man anymore."

"No one ever told me that I mattered," Blaine said, staring out the car window as Burt drove him back to Westerville from the airport. Burt sat quietly letting the boy talk. "In fact quite the opposite. My Dad was pretty clear that he was sure I would just sleep around, sell myself. When I was with Eli, those words came rushing back to me. I wonder if Kurt and I would be where we are today if he'd never said those things to me." Blaine spoke more out loud to himself than in search of an answer and Burt just listened carefully. After a few moments, Blaine continued. "I'm afraid he might fall in love with someone else," he whispered.

Burt looked over to him than back out the windshield. "He might," he admitted and raised an eyebrow. "You might too."

But Blaine shook his head. "No. Kurt's it for me."

Burt was quiet for a minute. When he spoke, it was pensive. "You know, when Kurt's mom died, I thought that was it for me. She'd been my high school sweetheart, the love of my life. It wasn't perfect, we had our ups and downs, but she was all I ever wanted. I couldn't imagine life without her." He glanced over and Blaine was watching him intently. "Then Kurt introduced me to Carole. And somehow, I knew that though a door had closed, another had opened. And I had to make a choice whether or not to walk through."

"I haven't closed the door on Kurt," Blaine insisted.

"All I'm saying is that you need to be open to other possibilities. I know you love Kurt. You always will and he will always love you, I'm sure of that. But right now, you have to accept that the door closed the moment you did what you did. Now I know for a fact that Kurt hasn't locked it, or thrown away the key. But don't be surprised if he starts looking to see what other doors are open." He looked over at Blaine. He couldn't totally read what the boy was thinking, but he knew he'd heard. "But that's enough metaphors from me for one day."

Blaine sat quietly the rest of the trip lost in his racing thoughts of Kurt dating. He knew he would. He knew he should. But the thought of Kurt's lips on someone else's lips, of Kurt sharing his secrets with another man, twisted his heart painfully.

They pulled into the driveway in Westerville where his mother's car still sat and Blaine took a deep breath before moving to exit the car. He reached for the door, but Burt stopped him with a hand on his knee. Blaine turned. "I got something I want to say before you go," Burt said seriously. "And since you're family, I'm not going to sugar coat it. But it's your choice to go or hear me out."

Blaine considered him briefly then took his hand off the door. He would always hear Burt out, even when it hurt, because he always knew it would be what he needed to hear.

Burt nodded at his choice. Blaine was a good kid, but what he'd said earlier had struck a nerve with him and he couldn't shake it. "The last two years, over and over again, I've seen you defy your father's words and expectations to be an incredible friend and an incredible man. The things that he's done, they are a part of you, but they don't control you. Your choices are your own. Your responsibility. So it's time to stop blaming your Dad for them and let him off the hook."

Blaine took the words in and let them settle in his mind and his heart. He closed his eyes and nodded. "Thanks Burt," he said pensively, as he grabbed his bag at his feet and opened the door.

Blaine tried the doorknob and once again was pleased to find it unlocked. His father must have seen them pull up, they'd been sitting in the driveway for a while now. The living room was empty and he left his bag by the front door. He saw the headlights from Burt's car disappear from the bay window and he went in search of his Mom and Dad, finding his father in his office. "Where's Mom?" Blaine asked casually as he grabbed some peanuts from his father's desk then relaxed in the chair at the second desk.

"I drove her home, she left the car for you," the Colonel told him, finishing the last note in his report before closing it up and turning his attention to Blaine. "We um, we decided to take things a little slower."

Blaine's heart fluttered nervously. "Did something happen?"

The Colonel's eyes bore into Blaine's seriously for a minute, then he smiled understandingly. "No, nothing happened. We just," he hesitated, finding the right words. "Well, we saw how uncomfortable you were and realized it wasn't fair to you. To try and do this now. Not with everything you're going through and you and me."

"About that," Blaine interrupted without even thinking. His father's brow quirked in curiosity and Blaine shuffled, unsure, in his chair. "You and me, I mean. I want to," he swallowed down his fear. It was hard to say. Hard to forgive, even if forgiveness was just putting the past behind him and moving forward. But Burt was right. He had to. "I want to spend New Year's Eve with you. Here."

The Colonel's jaw dropped with surprise before he gained his composure, and his eyes glimmered with sudden tears of happiness. Despite himself, it made Blaine blush and laugh in a way he wasn't sure he ever had with his Dad. "What about your friends? Santana?"

Blaine shrugged. "I think whatever Glee club is doing is going to be incredibly awkward. So why not be awkward in my own home with my Dad instead," he joked, but they both knew the truth behind the statement. And the incredible courage.

His father smiled, hope for a second chance with his son filling him. "I'd really like that."

Blaine was up in his room getting the noisemakers he'd packed in his bag. He and his dad had champagne flutes filled with sparkling cider waiting for them downstairs as well as the confetti canons that Blaine had insisted they buy. They'd watched a movie until 11:30, but then they turned on the television to watch the ball drop on in Times Square. It had been a nice evening, almost comfortable, and there were times when Blaine let his guard down and was not disappointed.

"Come on Blaine," his father yelled excitedly from the bottom of the stairs. "It's only ten minutes until the ball drops."

Blaine found the noisemakers in his suitcase then stood to leave. Passing by his desk, his eyes suddenly fell on the key that had sat there for more than a year now. The key to the front door. Blaine had left it behind 15 months ago, rejecting it and the house that had held so much pain for him. Now, as he headed downstairs to bring in a new year with the man who had hurt him so deeply, he picked up the key and slipped it into his pocket.

"What took you so long?" the Colonel asked with amusement as Blaine finally made his way down the stairs. Blaine said nothing, but simply grinned and tossed him a noisemaker, which his father deftly caught. The Colonel placed an arm around Blaine's shoulder and for possibly the first time, Blaine didn't flinch or stiffen at the touch. "Come on, let's go watch."

They sat together on the couch and Blaine couldn't help his mind wander. Was Kurt tucked in warm with Rachel watching the ball drop, or was he in Times Square partying with the millions of New Yorkers on the screen? Would he think of Blaine? Who would he kiss at midnight? He felt a warm hand rub his back and squeeze his shoulder. He tucked his chin into folded hands and stared forward, but his thoughts turned back to the man sitting next to him. "I want to start again," he whispered, then looked up at his Dad. "The other night I had a dream. Memories, really. Of things you said and did. Cooper asked me if I wanted to tell him, but I didn't. I didn't want him to have those memories. I told him that you weren't that man anymore."

"I'm trying Blaine," the Colonel said softly. "I'm trying really hard."

Blaine nodded. "I know you are. And so am I. I don't want to have those memories anymore either. I want to start again."

"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, Happy New Year!"

"Happy New Year, Dad," he wished softly.

The Colonel wiped away a tear and hugged Blaine tightly in his arms, never wanting to let go of the moment. "Happy New Year, Son."

Author's Note:

Well, I hope you guys don't hate me for this. I have every hope that this will help Blaine put the father angst behind him as he moves on to the second half of his senior year.

Happy New Year everyone!