Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy
Notes: ...
FIC START!
Part 11
Canti left the library and quietly just walked through the empty hall. She didn't know where she wanted to go or what she wanted to do. Her heart was wrenched in all sorts of ways that she wasn't sure she could tell anyone about now. It seemed that Mateus was right. The man she looked up to the most was nothing more than a dream, and she didn't have any clue as to how to process that. That dream felt so real. The relationships and the adventures - she was certain that she lived that life. And she remembered it all so vividly. What kind of dream would feel like that? As she walked, the shoes on her feet made a quiet little clack-clack. Every step she took, another clack. It was easy to just concentrate on something that made sense instead of trying to figure it all out. She heard his voice and smelled his scent of eternal cigarettes and gasoline. That old hoarse laugh. But she refused to let those tears fall again when someone could come along and ask her about it, and then having to explain it yet again... It was all too much. Entirely too much. Clack-clack. Clack=clack.
"...there you are."
She looked up from her shoes to see Mateus standing just a little further down the hall. "I didn't mean to keep you waiting," she replied, not sure if she wanted to walk to him and accept the embrace he seemed as if he was about to give to her.
"Did you attend to your business?" he asked, taking a step closer to her.
By walking to him, she had to accept the life that she was suddenly ripped from her was nothing more than a dream. "I did," she answered sadly, doing all she could to avert his gaze. Those deep purple eyes of his were nothing short of intoxicating, and the last thing she needed was to be drawn into them further.
"Very good," Mateus said, cracking a smile. That look on her face showed to him everything he needed to see. "Allow me to cheer you up, my lady."
"Cheer me up?" she asked, baffled by that suggestion. "I'm not worth the effort, Your Majesty. Please. Take care of what you need, and I-"
He took another step closer to her, Mentally she wished he would just keep his distance. If he would just leave her be, then she could go back to sleep, and maybe this place would be the dream instead. "I must see to your well-being as your future husband." Mateus warm tone only melted into her ear. It was so hard to resist a voice she'd adored for so long. After all that chasing after Kain, only to have him keep her at an arm's distance, falling into those arms would have been the easiest thing to do.
Canti turned instead to look out one of the hall windows to see that the sun was setting. The highest point of the sky held twinkling stars. Those same stars that she went to gaze upon with Minwu. She could still remember that night as if he were just yesterday. Even though they hadn't been on particularly good terms here lately, he had always been there for her. Was... she began to feel a twinge of fear within her heart. Had she pushed them away too far, only to wake up in this bizarre reality? Was this... her doing?!
"What is it?" Mateus asked, slowly coming to her side. He looked out the corner of his eye to see that she was staring up at the stars. "You have always had your eye on the skies since I've known you. Must be your Mysidian blood. They were well known for worshipping heavenly bodies."
"...what would you know about my tribe's history and culture?" Canti asked under her breath. She was almost insulted by the fact that he presumed to know so much. He had been the genocidal one, doing all he could to slay her people, after all. He wanted to wipe them from the face of the Second Realm, and considering she had come to live outside it, he had achieved such a cruel victory.
"I am Emperor. I had to study many things before I was allowed to assume the throne. Royalty is expected to be held to standards far above those of the common folk. Even though I may not be of your tribe, I know a bit. Perhaps not as much as you, or perhaps even more since you were raised away from your people." That expression on his face. She knew when she was being looked down upon. Even if he was supposed to be her husband, clearly that was an expression that demanded submission and respect. "Are you proud that you come from a line of blasphemers?"
"What a claim!" she shouted, feeling her last nerve snap, Her trademark temper was beginning to make its presence known. "The Mysidian people worshipped the moon and the stars as symbols of Cosmos, the Goddess of Harmony. We were blessed to walk in the light she provided at night-"
"What use is that, when those blessed people still burned alive once they were found?" he asked, snatching her upper arm with one of his hands. "Do not presume past your station, my lady. Rebellion does not suit you. With you at my side, the tribe of Moon worshippers is no longer. Those with the power of the Goddess can never stand against the might of the Palamecian Empire."
She snatched her arm back, almost snarling at him. "How could I ever marry you?!" she asked, wishing she had a spear on hand. Now would have been a perfect opportunity to ram it through his heart and take it to Minwu as an apology for what she said to him the night they went to rescue him. "How could I marry the one responsible for the genocide of my own people?!"
"You love me," he said, coming close enough to snatch her arm again. "I have given you what you have always wanted. A home and a family. You would not be ungrateful to me for bestowing upon you a title worthy of your place among your people. I have given you every desire." Quickly, he held her against the wall, leaning in close enough for the tips of their noses to touch. "You will be my wife. I will accept no other."
"I'd rather-"
His lips pressed against hers, tighter than any other kiss she'd ever had in her life. When she wanted to fight him off, he held onto her arms, pressing them against the wall. She tried to use her uppor body strength to push him away, but it seemed that she didn't have her muscles from wielding a spear. She had literally no strength. The more she fought against him, the more he held her still until she simply accepted her fate. She was in that submissive kiss until he let her go. A few moments later, he let her hands free from his own, and she no longer tried to break free. He put his arms around her and hers responded in turn by being wrapped around his neck. When he let her lips free, she had nothing to say. Her eyes were half-open, lost in the rush of having been submissive. Mateus gave a quick kiss on her forehead, which woke her from her stupor.
"Princess," he whispered. "Do you feel better?"
She nodded, causing him to give the closest thing to a smile he'd ever had upon his face.
"Come now," he said, leading her away from the library door. "I have something for you."
"You did not have to get me anything," she said quietly.
"What kind of Emperor would not give his betrothed gifts to show his affection?" he asked. He had led her back to her room, pulling it open. Once she was inside, he shut the door behind them and locked it. Then he pulled a tiny white box with a gorgeous glittery gold ribbon wrapped around it. "Here."
Canti accepted the box, staring at it. She had seen a box that looked directly like this before. She held it. It was... for her, if she remembered right. Heartsglow, wasn't it? The box was almost the same size, but she had her doubts of Mateus giving her a hairpin made of dragon scales. She carried it over to the bed and sat it on her lap. Who had given it to her? She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, trying to remember it. Kain. He had given her a box just like this. He was so nervous. That blush across his cheeks that she could finally see now that he had become a Holy Dragoon. That's... that was... she was trying to develop her relationship with Kain!
"...what causes you to hesitate?" he asked. She could hear it in his voice. He detested hesitation.
"No, it's just this box..." she said, running her finger along the ribbon. There was some sort of stitching on the ribbon itself. She brought it closer to get a good look at it. "...I've seen another just like it, and-"
"Have you?"
"It brings back memories," Canti said, noticing that the ribbon had little flowers stitched into it. Little golden roses. There were two roses that were symbolic of the Second Realm. The red, wild rose and the dark, purple rose. Two eternally opposing sides, at least, until the wild rose finally uprooted the purple one and the legends of the realm came to a close. Gold was a color only used by royalty there, which made a lot of sense. Both royal families of Fynn and Palamecia were intertwined on the same rose bush it seemed.
"Pray tell. Do not hold me in suspense."
"I once was given a box just like this one for Heartsglow," she said, not wanting to tell him that holding this reminded her of Kain. That would probably have set him off, which was something she didn't particularly want. "Inside it was one of the most lovely gifts anyone had or... has given me."
"What was it?" He was most curious. Who could have given her a gift she loved more than any gift he had given her?
"A hairpin," she replied.
"...a hairpin?" he repeated. "Such a simple trifle?"
"It wasn't just any hairpin," she said, smiling softly while she thought about it. "A hairpin made of dragon scales. It... was... breathtaking to behold."
"I see."
"Your Majesty is aware that I collect hairpins of all kinds, right?" she asked, looking up at him.
"I am indeed," Mateus said with a slight nod.
"I... wanted to wear it today, but I could not find my dragon scale hairpin. I was upset about that," she told him. Now that she thought about it, that dragon scale hairpin was also something that took place in that dream. It didn't exist here, in this world where she was no longer connected to the Highwind family. What would it take to go to the world where Kain was sleeping on a cot on her floor, where Minwu was her trusty aide-de-camp, and Balthier was that exboyfriend who kept his distance but was always looking after her? Where Mateus was just a shadow... No, she decided. This world was the dream. She told everyone in her party that she just wanted to connect with someone from her dreams and that person was Mateus! That world was real, this one where Balthier was some paid butler, was not real! Which meant... if she gave in to his advances, it... didn't mean anything, did it? With that thought in mind, she decided that she was going to ride this out to the end! She pulled the ribbon off the box and slid it off, smiling all the while. The top of the box came off slowly, and revealed a silver collar.
"...oh," she said, blushing at that.
"Is it not to your liking?" he asked, sitting right next to her. "Tell me truly."
"It will only suit me if it is around my neck," she whispered, passing it to him. "Please, do the honors, my Emperor."
He was ever so gentle, bringing that leather band around her neck. He fastened it to her, just a little tighter than she would have put it. With that, he pulled a chain from his pocket and clicked it into the collar. "Just as it should be," he said, laying her down on his lap. He ran his fingers through her curly hair, rubbing against her scalp. She damn near purred on him, just enjoying the pleasant sensory overload. Kain certainly wouldn't have given her this! She'd fall asleep with him here and wake up back at home, and no one would have to be the wiser. This all must have been some weird manifestation of her anxiety over the Spring Music Festival, or... something... The longer she laid there in his lap, with him rubbing her scalp and eventually beginning to scratch her back as hard as he could, the less she wanted to think about the world where she was a fearless dragoon that simply couldn't help but fight to survive. Here, she might have just been a meek bard, but... what was that compared to this feeling of submission?
"Yes," she moaned out at his scratches. "That's... that's it...!"
"All the stress you've been under, I figured you needed this," he whispered.
"I've... needed this..." Canti cried. "I've needed... you..."
Mateus nodded in agreement. "Tomorrow, we have much that needs to be done. For the moment... simply let it all go..."
"Let... it go?"
"Your Emperor commands it."
Canti looked up at him. "Then I must obey," she replied, lost in the euphoria he had given her. She lost the anxiety and fear, only to melt into him. "May I make a request?"
"You have a request... of me?" he asked, somewhat annoyed about that. He was the one meant to give commands, after all. "I... am feeling generous at the moment. I don't see why not. Speak up, my lady."
She rolled so she was looking straight up at him, and he looked down right at her. Canti took in a deep breath before she finally said it. "Would you... make love with me?" She had been asking Kain repeatedly for a chance to, and he kept pushing her away. Even if this was nothing more than some phantom dream, she didn't think he'd refuse that offer. In fact, she believed he wouldn't be able to turn down that opportunity.
"I don't know why you would request that of me," he said, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "When I had full intention."
"...really?"
"Why does this surprise you? Every night since we became official with our engagment, we've been like this..."
"That..." she smiled wider than she had in a while. "...makes me happy..."
"That is my ultimate goal," he said, pushing her down onto her pillows. "Submit to my every move, and you will be well rewarded..."
"I would never," she gasped, letting him take the lead. Every kiss, every caress, every gasp of passion was nothing but freeing. "I'm yours..."