Chapter 11

Athos took a few days before responding to his father. This time it was an expensive restaurant his father invited him to. The previous days Athos had begun to see the stress put on his family. The children were out of sorts and Sylvie seemed to be holding herself as if she was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Sweetheart," Athos came up behind his wife where she was standing at the changing table dressing Raoul.

He caught her shoulders tensing and winced. He wrapped his arms around her waist being careful of his casted arm. "I'm sorry I've been impossible to live with lately."

Sylvie released a light laugh. "I just wish there was something I could do to help," she paused a moment and Athos could feel she was trying to say something she didn't want to or know how to. "I worry what this is doing to you."

She picked up Raoul and Athos released her to place him in his crib. She turned around and looked at him. He could see the worry on her face.

"How is your arm feeling?" She asked.

He was a little surprised and confused by the sudden change in subject. "It's not bad."

"How's the pain?" She asked.

"It's not bad. Sylvie?"

She guided him out of the children's room and into their room. "Don't misunderstand, it's just that you haven't always had the best coping mechanisms."

Athos took a deep breath. Now he understood. "Sylvie." He walked her to the edge of their bed and sat next to her. "Believe me, I think about the fact I haven't had the best ways of coping more than ever. The last thing I want is to lose you or the children. I am sorry I haven't talked to you more about it to reassure you," he took her hand in his. "I can't guarantee I'll always make the right choices, but please never feel you can't talk to me if you're worried."

Sylvie sank into Athos' side resting her head on his shoulder. "So, you'll be seeing your father tomorrow."

"Yes," he said.

"Papa! Maman!" Olivia came in holding out a piece of paper.

"What's this, Cherie?" Athos asked accepting the paper from his daughter. He took a look at her art work and shared a smile with Sylvie. Neither one could make heads or tails of what she had drawn, but it was as beautiful as all the rest.

"No, you got it the wrong way," Olivia squeezed between them sitting on the edge of the bed with them. She turned the paper so the top was at the bottom.

"Oh, of course," Athos said winking at Sylvie over Olivia's head as their daughter proceeded to explain her piece of art to them.

TM

Athos arrived at the restaurant. He was led to his father's table. He remembered being at this restaurant a few times as a teen with his brother and parents. His father used these dinners as a way to introduce Athos and Thomas to his colleagues showing them off hoping they would follow in his footsteps.

"Athos, thank you for agreeing to see me," Robert said.

"Father, did maman know about you and David?" Athos was tired of the secrets. He just wanted the truth.

"Athos, there was no me and David when your mother was alive," Robert said.

"Do you really think that's being honest?" Athos asked.

Before Robert could respond the waiter arrived. They gave him their orders and were left alone again.

"Nothing ever happened between us while she was alive," Robert's voice strained as he tried to keep his voice down.

"Father, if you didn't want any of this to come out, why ask me here for this conversation?" Athos asked.

"Athos, please," Robert said. "I am trying."

"Did you love her?" Athos asked. "Did you love my mother?"

"I cared for her," Robert said. "We knew we weren't in love. Her parents expected her to marry. My father expected it of me. He expected an heir. Your mother wanted children. She had her bookstore and her children."

Athos felt a stab of pain thinking about that bookstore. He wished he could have kept it, but it just wasn't making any money anymore. No one appreciated books anymore. Everyone had a kindle or other electronic device to read their books.

"She would not have blamed you for selling the bookstore," Robert said.

Athos blinked several times trying to take in what his father had just said. How did he know what he was thinking?

"She and you loved that place as much as you both loved the library in your grandmere's house. She and your grandmere got along very well. Your mother was devastated when she died."

Athos remembered the day his grandmere passed. It happened so suddenly and Athos was off at university when it happened.

"Athos, yes, she knew. Your mother knew I was gay," he chuckled. Robert actually chuckled. Athos suddenly wondered if he had fallen asleep and was actually in some bizarre dream. "She tried to call me on David, but I denied it. And she continued to needle me about him. And when she was diagnosed with cancer she made me promise to find someone if not David to love."

"I don't know what to say," Athos said.

"I realize I can never make up for all the pain I put you through. I am bigoted, entitled, set in my ways…"

"At least you're finally being honest about all of that," Athos said.

Robert shrugged one shoulder. "Your mother and I became friends at university. She knew I was gay as far back as then. We were always friends. I know it didn't seem like it, we lived such separate lives."

"I need time to think about all of this," Athos said. "And I still have the house to decide on."

"I know this is a lot," Robert said. "David described your children. They sound beautiful."

"Just give me time," Athos said.

"Of course."

The waiter arrived with their food. Athos looked down at his plate and lost his appetite. "I need to go," he said standing and pulling out his wallet.

"No, this is on me," Robert said. "Go be with your family."

Athos hesitated for only a moment before departing. His mind was swimming. He was confused and hurt. Nothing seemed real. When he arrived home he found Sylvie sitting on the couch. Livia sat next to her while Sylvie held Raoul in her arms.

"Hi," Sylvie said.

Athos sat down next to his wife and kissed her on the mouth. This was real. He kissed the top of his son's head and then his daughters.

"How was it?" Sylvie asked.

"Let's just say I learned a lot." He kissed her on the temple. "I'll tell you more later."

"Papa," Livia came over to Athos climbing on his lap.

"How was your day, Cherie?" He asked holding his daughter close to him.

TBC