Author's Note: Well, after some intense writing sessions and scenes that just wouldn't end…I have produced a chapter right before the new year. Congratulations folks, 2012 didn't kill us all. 2013 on the other hand, who knows? Anyway, people who submitted OCs, remember that portion that asked about choosing between Heaven and Hell? Well here is where it comes into play. Or at least its starts. The main plot is set on drive and we're going full steam ahead. It starts to go downhill starting this chapter so next year, when the next chapter comes up, be ready.
Happy New Year to you guys and enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own South Park.
Warning: language
Whose Side Are You On?
The duo of vigilante and messiah returned through the pearly gates to much fanfare.
"Were you watching that battle? They really stuck it to Hell good!"
"I know! It was better than the movies because it was real and, you know, not fake!"
"I wish I had recorded it so that I could rewatch it again and again because I swear, it was so awesome to see that you just had to have been there to believe it!"
"I think Uriel might have recorded it. Lucky bastard. At least this battle was immortalized. Now generations of angels can truly study and learn from it. Heck, I bet Jesus could learn a thing or two from it."
Mysterion glanced over at Gary. Gary must have really impressed these guys with whatever happened with Damien. His admiration for the recently revealed savior was climbing up a few notches. And Gary just looked like that it was something he did every day and wasn't boasting about it like some egomaniac would.
You know, he was starting to have a good feeling about him.
"It's not every day that you get to watch the Mysterion in action! He kicked some demon ass!"
"Oh my God! He's so disciplined and sexy! There's nothing finer than a mortal who takes the law into his own hands!"
"He was like bam! And then wham! And then pow! And then poke! And then…"
"Theatricality is truly a powerful weapon when you use it right and it can't be used more right than in the hands of Mysterion!"
"What did you think about the Messiah's fight with the Antichrist?"
"Meh, it was okay. Nothing stellar. But man, did you see Mysterion?"
And now Mysterion's respect for God's serverts had fallen a few notches. Were these really his allies? Well, at the very least he had Gary here and so far the Mormon hadn't let him down yet. Taking hold of Gary's shoulder, Mysterion unobtrusively propelled the blond faster through the halls of Heavenly Bliss after passing through the Portals of Joy and why was he starting to think that those were sexual innuendos?
Passing by the mailroom (which was known as the Bundles of Joy), the pair found Archangel Michael in the Mammary Courtyard who seemed to be in the middle of directing various angels towards various tasks. As if sensing their arrival, he turned to face them.
"Welcome back Second Coming of Christ and Keanu Reeves. Allow me to commend you on a battle well won," Michael greeted them.
"All in a day's work," Gary chirped.
"What do we do now?" Mysterion asked. "We thwarted Damien but that's all we did. Whatever he was trying to do in the alley may only be the beginning. What are our next steps?"
"I'm glad you asked that," Michael said. "You see, that skirmish went better than any of us ever hoped for. Not only were you your awesome self, Mysterion, but the new Messiah actually halted the son of the Unholy One in his tracks. Your skills with the Force are very impressive, Gary."
"Thank you," Gary nodded his head. "But it wasn't just me out there…"
"Of course you weren't because Mysterion was pretty kickass out there," Micheal remarked and Mysterion recognized the archangel's tone of voice as belonging to someone who was about to gush about the vigilante's accolades. "I haven't seen such action since Lucifer's rebellion eons ago! Believe me, I did my fair share of decapitation back then but damn, you were taking down demons left and right! If coolness was on a scale of one to ten, you'd be a twenty, Mysterion. You are our Keanu Reeves for a reason."
"Can we get back on track here," Mysterion interrupted, not wanting to hear or be drowned with these praises. Honestly, he could care less about them. What was it with the angels here anyway? You'd think they'd be fawning more over Gary…
"Of course," Michael coughed into his fist. "You were both impressive out there and I think that we should press our advantage. We should hit the Antichrist when he's still reeling and hopefully we can put an end to his premature ambitions now instead of having to wait and allow them to grow."
"That seems…reasonable," Mysterion said.
"Wait, are you saying that we didn't stop Damien?" Gary asked, holding up a hand to try and insert himself into the briefing. "Didn't we just do that?"
"The Antichrist, as well as all of Hell's minions, is very persistent. One loss will not deter him from his goals," Michael explained. "For example, a few years back he tried to court one of God's people. We didn't think he'd succeed so we did nothing. And now that black-hearted bastard managed to claim him."
"God's people?" Gary asked, slightly confused.
"Jews," Michael said. "What, you thought God gave up on them or something? No. Like Mormons, all Jews go to Heaven. It was the least he could do after letting them wander around a desert for forty years."
"You mean Kyle?" Gary pressed. "Kyle Broflovski?"
"You know him? Say, you might be able to save this fallen soul!" Michael perked up.
"We'll have to see about that," Gary said uncomfortably, looking away from the angel. Mysterion noted this and decided to ask about it later, when they weren't speaking with the de facto leader of Heaven's forces.
"Everything is starting to look up more and more and—hold on a sec," Michael stopped himself as he looked over the young men's shoulders. "Ah, if that isn't a sight for sore eyes. Mysterion, Gary, there's someone I would like to introduce you to. Come forth and bask in the presence of humanity's savoir and our Keanu Reeves, messenger." The last bit was directed towards someone behind him and the duo looked over their shoulders to see who Michael was talking to.
Dressed in billowy white robes like many of the other angels in this place, a curly-haired, youthful looking angel bowed towards them before he walked around them to join Michael's side. Mysterion raised an unseen eyebrow, not recalling ever having seen this angel before. Then again, looking at how pale this angel looked, he might not have gotten out in the sun very often.
"Gary. Mysterion. Allow me to introduce you to…uh…Odysseus?" Michael introduced.
The angel frowned at Michael and corrected the archangel. "Ongkanon."
"Right. Anyway, this guy whose name is hard to pronounce—"
"I've been here since Heaven's founding! Why haven't you learned to at least pronounce the first syllable?!" Ongkanon interrupted.
"Shush, you're interrupting your superior," Michael said. "Now, this guy beside me is the guy who's in charge of all communications within and outside of Heaven. It was through him that we learned of Damien's plans. He's kinda like a communications director, you see, and every once in a while does press conference in case Metatron is being a bitch or God loses his voice. I have no idea where we would be without him."
"And yet you don't know my name," Ongkanon sighed.
He was ignored.
"A pleasure to meet you," Gary said, smiling warmly and offering his hand for a shake. The two angels stared at the gesture, unsure of what to do with it.
"Likewise," Mysterion said, deciding to put an end to the awkward moment. He'd explain to Gary later that not all earthy customs were practiced up here and yes, that included handshakes. "Have you learned anything?"
"Oh, yes," Ongkanon said, getting down to business. "I have found out that our enemy has retreated back to the structure known as City Hall. No angelic being may set foot in there because of all the evil that naturally radiates from that place and the separation of church and state."
"You don't…? So that means all the politicians that claim that God or Jesus spoke to them…?" Gary inquired.
"Yes, they are lying out their asses, talking to themselves, or being tricked by demons," Ong…candle answered. "Metatron stopped bothering in 325 A.D. around the time of that Nicaea council. Said it wasn't worth the trouble anymore."
"Wasn't that the group that decided what the Bible would look like?" Gary asked.
Both Michael and Ong…candy looked away, not answering the question.
"What else have you found out?" Mysterion asked.
"Um, let's see…" Ong…crazy mused. "Well…the Antichrist is drafting mortals to his cause…"
"He's what?!" Michael exclaimed. "He's bringing in mortals?! When did this happen? Why was I not informed?"
"That was what I was coming here to tell you," Ong…cannon said.
"Well, now that you mentioned it, there was someone who wasn't demon-like in that alley," Gary remarked. "I think I saw him recently too…at the high school reunion I believe."
"Dillan Teigs," Mysterion confirmed. "A lifelong Satanist by all accounts but I fail to see where his involvement—"
"Damien, you're just like your father," Michael said, speaking his thoughts out loud. "Clever little Antichrist…oh, you guys heard all that? Ignore what I said, will you?"
The two mortals and angel shrugged, not knowing anything else to do.
"Well, if Damien wants to include mortals in this endeavor of his, then fine, we'll fight fire with fire!" Michael declared. "Gary, Mysterion, go back to Earth and start scouting as many mortals as you can. The more allies we have, the easier it will be to stop this little asshole's schemes and the sooner we can go back to the divine plan. Do you—"
Michael paused as the sound of a cell phone ringing interrupted him. The two angels and mortals looked around, each one checking their cellular devices one-by-one until only one remained.
"Sorry," Gary apologized, his phone being the culprit. "I'm going to have to take this."
"And this is why we have everyone turn off or silence their phones before entering the Mammary Courtyard," Michael grumbled. "They always ruin the dramatic atmosphere!"
Mysterion half-agreed with that but also was leaning a bit towards Gary the moment the Mormon said, "Kyra?" Kyra McCloud, Mysterion's mind informed him. Stan's old girlfriend from high school and college. He wasn't too sure about college since everything he heard about it was vague but he sure did remember that Gary was also friends with her. Watching Gary, Mysterion noticed the frown on the blond's face, a sign that something was up and may not be good news.
Hanging up, Gary returned to them. "Sorry guys, I gotta go. Something going on back home and it's urgent."
"But the fate of all existence hangs in the balance!" Michael protested.
"It can wait an hour, can't it?" Gary replied. "I'll be on the lookout for other, um, 'mortals' while I'm down there, alright? I just, I need to help out a friend and she needs me right now."
"Oh, so she needs you, eh?" Michael said, wiggling his eyes knowingly.
"What? Never mind. I'll be back," Gary said as he turned and headed away.
"Stick with him Mysterion," Michael ordered. "Even though he handled himself against the Antichrist, he's still a fledgling and needs someone to watch out for him."
"I get it," Mysterion said, stopping Michael from saying anything else. "I'll watch his back so if you'll excuse me."
By the time he heard movement down the hallway, Kyle's headache was quieting as his brain regained equilibrium. Once again he remembered why he limited his alcohol intake but he knew that sometime in the future he would overdo it again.
Weakening hangover aside, the Jew was curious about how things went and so gathered his guts and his wits and left his office for Damien's. If things had gone well, then all these demons would be going back to Hell where they belonged and he would go back to the awkward status quo that had reigned before all this had started.
When he reached the Mayor's office and found Damien in a foul mood, he automatically knew that something had not gone according to plan, a little something that most likely made the whole thing fall apart. He was no stranger to such things and decided that the Antichrist might need some comforting to get through the disappointment.
Sadly, his approach was anything but soothing.
"What happened?" he asked as he walked passed the various injured demons, one of whom had no hand and two who were clutching at their crotches, and up to Damien's side, the door to the office shutting behind him.
He was flashed with a pair of murderous red eyes yet Kyle held his ground, slightly intimidated but wagering on Damien not taking his anger out on him. He watched as Damien's eyes softened but Kyle was not holding his breath just yet. For all he knew this was the calm before the storm.
He was not surprised when the spawn of Satan embraced him and buried his face into the Hebrew's shoulder and Kyle awkwardly patted Damien's back, wondering what exactly happened.
"Everything that could have gone wrong did," Damien mumbled into his shoulder. "We didn't reach Black Market and a pair of asshole got in the way. I had to order a strategic retreat."
Ah, never let it be said that Damien would ever be in the frame of mind to admit defeat.
"Okay, I know I'm shooting myself in the foot here but who were the assholes?" Kyle asked half-heartedly. He frowned at Damien's muffled reply and had to ask for clarification. "Who?"
Pulling his face away from Kyle's shoulder, Damien uttered, "Mysterion and that asshole Mormon."
Mysterion? Kenny? What was he doing still doing that childhood superhero stuff? And Mormon asshole? Who the hell did Damien mean by—oh wait, there could only be one. Then again, there was only one Mormon who Kyle knew and that Damien disliked.
And by dislike he meant loathe entirely.
"Gary? What was he doing there?" Kyle found himself asking in bafflement.
"You tell me why Heaven would send the Second Coming to stop me from tearing that bastard Wolf Black a new one," Damien retorted.
"Second Coming? Gary? …makes sense I suppose," Kyle shrugged his shoulders after his incredulity passed.
Damien raised an eyebrow at him. "You aren't surprised by this revelation?"
"Not really. But then again I've never read the Book of Revelations," Kyle said. "So what now? Why did those guys get in your way?"
"Beats the heaven out of me," Damien grumbled as he frowned though to Kyle it looked more like a pout. "The Second Coming shouldn't have appeared yet. It's much too soon yet the only ones who can reveal that Mormon for who he is are all up in Heaven. The decision came from up there and no one else could have done it."
"But why?" Kyle frowned. "Don't they know about all those missing souls?"
"Nope!" Damien replied. "At least, they shouldn't. It would embarrass my father if they did."
"So he's keeping the reason why several demons are walking the earth a secret," Kyle summed up. "I know this is going to sound like common sense but why not just explain yourselves to whoever lives up on high with Jehovah and settle this misunderstanding before it gets out of hand?"
"And ruin the plot?" Damien exclaimed, aghast. "No, no Kyle, we can't let this turnabout go unanswered," the Antichrist chided. "If Heaven wants to play hardball and interfere then we're going to school them on just who they are dealing with."
"Amen to that!" Dillan cheered from where he sat on the floor, a black eye blossoming on his face. Huh, Kyle almost forgot about him. He had been there the whole time?
"I didn't think it would happen but that mortal is starting to grow on me," Damien commented, eyeing the Satanist. Then, back to business, "If Heaven thinks it can lord over us, it has another thing coming. I think it's time to start calling in some favors and drafting a few…soldiers shall we call them? If Heaven wants to fight, then we'll give them one. One to remember. And let's not forget about Black Market. Wolf will get what's coming to him, oh yes."
"Christ," Kyle moaned as he rubbed his eyes with his fingertips. "So sitting down with them and talking out your differences is out of the question?"
A resounding "Yes" was his answer, not just from Damien and Dillan but also the various demons. Hell, over there was that one demon, Dantalion who was giving him a dirty look and also taking part in the "yes."
Why was it that Kyle always found himself outnumbered? He swore, sometimes he was the only level-headed person in any room.
"Don't worry your pretty, little head," Damien said as he took hold of his chin with gentle fingers and lifted his head up slightly. "I will handle this and then we can go back to you boring me to death with this elected position. It will all work out."
Kyle had to admit that he could almost believe him. In fact he did except that Dantalion had jostled him as he shoved passed him, heading to the door and that somewhat broke whatever spell Damien was weaving over him. He took his eyes off Damien and turned his head away, watching the demon as it stalked to the door. Now what was that all about?
Without warning, Dantalion wrenched the door open and lo and behold, two figures fell into the office. Kyle was a bit surprised because who would try to eavesdrop on a meeting occurring in the Mayor's office?
…actually, now that he thought about it, he was surprised the whole town hadn't come falling in.
The longer he stared at these two individuals, the more familiar they were becoming. "Anna?" he asked out loud, recognizing the Russian immigrant. Frightened blue eyes darted around the room, becoming more and more terrified by the demons that were eyeing her with a dark hunger.
Beside him, Kyle could feel the unholiness radiating from Damien that was increasing in intensity. That was a bit odd because Damien only got like that with people he really, really disliked.
"Get off of me!" the person underneath Anna snarled and in an instant, Anna was gone, fleeing from the office. As if thinking that the person Anna had landed on would also run, two demons rushed over and grabbed the second person by her arms, hauling her up off the floor roughly.
Huh, Kyle thought this second woman was familiar too. Say, wasn't she Craig's wife? Brianna? And why did he keep thinking about that one girl in high school who dated Cartman? This wasn't her but still…
"And what do you think you were doing?" Damien demanded, even as he signaled for a couple demons to follow after Anna. "This is a private meeting. Who do you work for?"
"Be careful, I bruise like a banana!" Brianna snapped at the two demons holding her without actually seeing them. "Get your hands off me! Who do you think you…you…you…?" Her eyes were beginning to widen as she saw just who populated this room with them and Kyle had to say that she was starting to get frightened.
As she ought to be.
Damien stepped passed Kyle, heading for the scared woman. Roughly, he grabbed Brianna's chin and forced her to look at him. "I will ask you only one more time. Who do you work for?" Damien repeated his earlier question.
Brianna hoped and closed her mouth without being able to say anything.
"Well?" Damien growled inhumanly.
"No one!" Brianna squeaked. "I don't work for anyone! I…I-I-I don't even have a job!"
"A likely story," one of the demons grunted.
"Damien, cool it!" Kyle intervened. "You're scaring the shit out of her and would you look at her? She's…uh…she's dressed…like she's trying to seduce somebody…"
Yeah, only now did Kyle realize just how the dress that Brianna wore hugged her curves in just the right ways. Funny how none of it did anything for him. But then that raised the question of who she was all dressed up for and if it was indeed for seduction then who was the target?
Seeing how it was the Mayor's office she was eavesdropping on, Kyle had a funny feeling that it was Damien.
"Seduce? Nobody here is impressed," Damien said as he dropped Brianna's chin and turned away from her. "Now unless someone here wants to do the dirty deed—" quite a few of the demons raised their hands here "—I suggest we dispose of her. She is of no use that I can see."
"What?!" Brianna's jaw dropped open.
"You mean kill her?" Kyle gaped.
"Well she is married and she's trying to seduce someone so doesn't that mean she's breaking one of those commandments?" Dillan pointed out.
"Craig created on me first!" Brianna defended herself, managing to gather some of her wits.
"Right," Damien said dryly.
"Look, maybe there's another way," Kyle said.
"Like how?" Damien asked, looking at Kyle intently.
"Maybe she can spy on Mysterion and the Second Coming?" Dillan suggested with a shrug.
"Yeah!" Kyle agreed immediately. "Why would they expect anything from her? And then there's the reunion stuff! Nobody's going to pay any attention to her unless it's the guys looking at her boobs!"
"You are…making a good point," Damien acknowledged.
"And if she proves herself, you can pay her back with her life," Kyle felt the need to add.
Damien gave him a sly smirk. "So that's where you're going with this."
"Personally, I don't really care what you do," Dillan said. "She's kinda a bitch and Craig's a good guy. He wouldn't cheat on anybody."
"Is that what you think?" Brianna spat out at the Satanist.
"Silence!" Damien demanded. Taking a step closer to Kyle, he said, "If her life is so important…then you'll have to give me some collateral."
"Bribery?" Kyle groaned.
"The kind only you can give," Damien's smirk widened.
"Fuck me," Kyle moaned.
"That's what I intend," Damien said softly into his ear.
Glancing at Brianna who was giving them both a queer stare, Kyle sighed. "Fine. Alright. Just don't do anything that will cost her her life."
"We have a deal then," Damien said. Turning back to Brianna, "You hear that? You're working for me now and you had better pull your own weight. Trust me, I am going to make you work for your freedom, harlot. Don't make me regret this."
Charlotte was out when Nathan arrived at her house but there was someone there in her stead. Her sister he believed. The one that had spoken to him from the window the other day. Not who he was looking for as he really just wanted to see Charlotte again.
But maybe he could find out what was going on on the apple of his eye's end. The only one who could tell him that and wasn't Charlotte was the person who claimed to be her sister. Now that he was facing her, he had to admit there was a resemblance but the two sisters were in no way identical.
"No, Charlie isn't here," Charlotte's sister told him, the door open wide enough that if Nathan wanted to, he could shove his way pass her. But he wasn't going to do that. He was going to be civilized, polite, and both would do wonders to making a better impression on Charlotte.
"Didn't I talk with you the other day?" he asked, wanting absolute clarification. "You were whispering from the window."
"Yeah," the girl looked to a side.
"Well, maybe you can tell me what's going on," Nathan said seriously. "I know you told me that Charlotte liked me but she's not acting that way."
"Charlie just has a hard time showing it," Charlotte's sister defended. "It took her forever to say she liked Bain. Took her even longer to…" here she looked like she was having trouble, "…to hook up with him."
"How long?" Nathan inquired.
"…about a year," Charlotte's sister answered quietly. "That…includes the amnesia."
Right. Like Bain really had amnesia. Nathan was in the same camp as that DJ girl; he had to have been faking. How else would he have been able to freeze them all?
"I don't exactly have a year…um, I didn't get your name earlier. If you don't mind me asking…?" he began to explain only to back up and start with a more basic topic. He didn't even know this girl's name!
"…Tammy," the girl answered reluctantly.
"As I was saying, Tammy, I don't have a year to keep showing up at this door," Nathan explained, glad now that he didn't have to call or refer to her as "the girl" or "Charlotte's sister." "I have a business, a recording studio, that I need to be getting back to. I like Charlotte, no, love her. But time is not on my side here. I need to know if I'm reaching her."
"You are!" Tammy said quickly but Nathan was becoming a bit suspicious about this girl. The pause earlier and how uncomfortable she was acting now, she was hiding something.
No more playing around.
"Let me come in," he said, even as he pushed his way in, shutting the door behind him over Tammy's protests. "What aren't you telling me?" he demanded as he placed his hands on Tammy's shoulders and held them tight. No more games.
"I'm not hiding anything!" Tammy exclaimed, trying to squirm her way out of his grip. He tightened his hands to bring the point across that he wasn't letting go any time soon. "I'll scream!" she threatened.
"You must think I'm stupid," Nathan stated. "I may love Charlotte but I'm not blind. What aren't you telling me Tammy? Don't lie to me because I will know."
"But she does like you!" Tammy cried out. "She just—"
"Has a hard time showing it, I've heard it before," Nathan interrupted. "Tell me something different. You seem so eager to tell me what I want to hear but Charlotte's not showing me what I want to see. Stop giving me the runaround."
"You want the truth?" Tammy demanded.
"That would be a great place to start," Nathan said.
"She has no interest in you," Tammy stated coldly and Nathan couldn't help but feel like he had been punched in the gut, his heart cringing on itself. "I'm her sister so I would know."
"That's what you said last time," Nathan hissed, anger beginning to mix with the sensation of being betrayed. "What game are you playing you little bitch?"
"I want Bain," Tammy said. "He's the sweetest person in the world and Charlie can't see it. What you want doesn't matter to me. It could have been anyone who came to the door and I would have said the same thing. You're not the first to try but you're the first that she hasn't punched in the face for being so aggressive. I figured you'd have a better chance."
Nathan's jaw was open as he had not anticipated such an answer. What was it with the White girls in liking psychopaths? More than ever he felt the need to save these girls from this homicidal maniac but how could he when they were drawn to him?
"Why him? Why that…that…" he just couldn't find the right word that could describe his contempt for Bain who hadn't even showed up for the reunion.
"Like I said, he's sweet," Tammy answered, her voice soft and her lips forming a small smile. "He's the kindest person I've ever met. Charlie doesn't see it and always calls him names. He needs someone who will be nice to him. Doesn't everybody?"
Okay, now Nathan was beginning to think there was something off with this girl. Yet maybe there was a way he could use this. Tammy wanted Bain, he wanted Charlotte. Bain and Charlotte already had one another. And that was the problem. Well, let Tammy be ruined by Bain; she had lied to him. That didn't mean he was about to write her off as an ally, of course.
If he could come up with a way to convince Charlotte to break it off with Bain and use Tammy to do so, then he could speed this thing up. Sure, it might mean an extra week but he figured he could weasel that much time to do this. Yeah, then he could save Charlotte and sweep her off her feet and finally get her to love him as much as he did her.
Oh yeah, that was the ticket.
Gary clomped his way to Kyra's apartment, hurrying a bit because of how frantic Kyra had sounded earlier when she had called. The urgency had prompted him to get out of Heaven and come back and he was worried about the person he considered his best friend.
Reaching the door, he knocked once and found the door being torn open by Kyra who looked like she was in the middle of some kind of breakdown.
"Gary!" she exclaimed as she threw herself at him and Gary caught her easily, wondering what exactly had her this out of sorts.
"Kyra?" he heard a familiar voice call out, followed by some heavy footsteps. Gary suspicions were confirmed when Stan came into view.
This explained a lot actually. Only Stan could do this Kyra.
And now that he was getting a good look at Kyra, he could see that she was wearing Stan's pants and Stan…wasn't. The rest of Kyra's outfit was hers completely though her socks were on the wrong feet. She was disheveled, in disarray, and he wouldn't be surprised if she had partaken in some activity that didn't require clothes.
…
That was actually a really good explanation why Stan wasn't wearing any pants.
"Let's go inside," Gary said uneasily, suddenly feeling out of his depth. Taking on the Antichrist with newly-fledged Messiah abilities he could handle but trying to see a young woman through an existential crisis when the source of said crisis was standing right there was really out of his element.
He was a Mormon for Christ's sake!
Please forgive him, Father, for saying the Lord's name in vain.
It took a couple moments to get inside the apartment and situated on what little furniture Kyra had left. There was only a couch left so he sat beside Kyra there, leaving Stan to stand awkwardly a few feet away.
"Okay, Kyra? Kyra are you listening to me? Calm down," Gary tried to soothe the distraught woman. "Now, I need you to tell me what happened. Can you tell me what happened?"
"I…I think I just had…sex…with Stan," Kyra managed to get out haltingly.
"You think or you did?" Gary asked.
"I…did," Kyra bowed her head down.
Gary sighed and combed his fingers through the long brown hair. Yeah, he was starting to piece things together. As far as he knew, Kyra was planning to cut it off with Stan and move on with her life but that plan got scraped the moment she had…done that…with Stan who by the way was looking like a little boy who knew he was in deep trouble. Kyra had always had self-confidence issues and what better way to undermine them than for something like this to occur? However, how had this come to pass?
"So how did it happen?" he asked.
"Well, I don't remember much but I do remembering kissing and then some dry humping and…" Stan spoke up to answer.
He could feel Kyra cringe against him as Stan became more explicit. Gary himself felt like he could blush any more than he already had. Was it even possible to do that…? Physical speaking, he meant. And did it really feel that good?
Okay, okay, he was getting off track here and he raised a hand up to stop Stan from speaking. Inadvertently, he used his Christ-like powers to literally take Stan's voice away but he was able to figure this out quickly when Stan's mouth kept moving. Okay, he had done this and this and there we go! Back to normal.
"…and then we started doing it doggie-style." Stan concluded.
Gary was gaping and he was having a hard time mustering up any words to say to that. Never mind Stan! He'd focus on Kyra first because that seemed to be the best place to start.
"It's okay," he said soothingly to the woman, embracing her and rocking her back and forth. "It was just a little accident. You need to get a hold of yourself, okay?"
"An accident!" Kyra exclaimed, pulling away from him just enough to look him in the eye. "I-I got drunk and just had… I thought I was over him!"
"You mean I might still have a chance?" Stan asked hopefully.
"Not now Stan," Gary ordered, the stress starting to get to him. "It would be best for you not to say anything until someone speaks to you. Kyra, what do you want me to do?"
"Make it all go away so I can finish moving and…and where were you? You said you were going to come over and help me," Kyra said, wanting an answer that could allow her to assign some kind of blame on him.
"Maybe we should get out of here," Gary said after releasing a loud breath. "I'll…I'll explain along the way."
"Explain what? Why can't you do it here?" Kyra questioned.
"It's a long story and things around here, I think, might get worse before they get any better," Gary answered slowly, as if unsure if he was saying the right words.
"What are you saying Gary? What's going to get worse before it gets better? Are you talking about this?" Kyra asked desperately.
"Trust me Kyra, you might not believe one word of it," Gary said.
"If it's something weird, you won't have to worry about it," Stan said helpfully. "This kind of shit always happens here."
"Shut up Stan!" both Gary and Kyra yelled at him. Stan hung his head low as if he had been chastised by a parental figure.
"I think a change of scenery…and pants…would do you a lot of good," Gary said. "You need time to calm down and standing around here is not going to be conductive for that. We can go to the reunion thing for tonight, the last thing Wendy has planned and there—"
"Gary, what are you talking about? Why are you acting like this?" Kyra interrupted. "You're acting…different…"
Gary sighed. He supposed he couldn't keep this a secret for much longer. "Kyra, I found out last night that I am the Son of God and the Messiah that will serve as the Second Coming right before the Apocalypse. I just had a fight with the Antichrist himself and almost had my rear handed to me. I literally just returned from Heaven itself and now here I am in your apartment where you are in the middle of a breakdown after getting it on with your ex."
Kyra stared back at him, eyes blinking slowly once then twice. "Oh. Okay."
"O…kay…?" Gary repeated.
They both waited for Stan to butt in again but when he didn't, the two of them turned to the other male with expressions on their faces that pointedly gave him permission to speak.
"That stuff happens all the time around here," Stan shrugged, figuring out what their facial expressions meant. "It's not really all that surprising, really."
"Oh, I forgot to mention that the forces of Heaven also want me to recruit some allies here on Earth because the Antichrist got away and might be planning another assault real soon," Gary felt the need to add.
"Not really that surprising," Stan repeated and was not shushed this time.
"But you couldn't have called earlier?" Kyra asked.
"With everything that's happened, it slipped my mind," Gary said apologetically. "Now, what myself and a partner that Heaven gave me are going to do is try to see if we can't get some of our old classmates to help us out with this. Would you like to come with me?"
"But what about…?" Kyra tried to ask in a small voice.
"We'll talk about it on the way there," Gary promised. "You can always say no."
Kyra swallowed but in the end said, "Okay."
"Okay," Gary nodded. "How about you get changed and then we can go?"
Kyra nodded and slowly paced into her room. As soon as the door was closed, Gary turned to Stan who was standing there in his pants-less state and looking forlornly at the door. Whether it was for Kyra or his pants Gary did not know but found himself not really caring for once.
"You messed up big time, buddy," Gary said, not mincing his words.
"Why can't I argue with that?" Stan sighed.
"Look Stan, Kyra's decided to move on, just like you did," Gary said. "I don't know what occurred between you two but it looks like it would be best if you just break it off and head back to New York where you've obviously already moved on."
"But I can't," Stan protested.
"You already have," Gary reiterated. "You hurt her feelings back at the reunion, you know? You forgot about her when she hadn't forgot you. I always supported her back in high school, convinced her to talk to you, whatever it took to make her happy. I wanted more than anything that it would work between you but now it's over and it's time to move on. This whatever-it-is has messed her up even more. Keep your distance, okay? That would be what's best for Kyra."
"Keep my distance? Why should I do that?" Stan demanded.
"If you're trying to get back with her, you're not doing a very good job at it," Gary replied. "And don't you live in a fast paced world or something? Maybe you should get out of this slowed paced one and get back to it?"
"But I want Kyra to share it with me," Stan said.
"Kyra has a new job with new obligations and none of which include you," Gary said. He was flinching on the inside from how cold it sounded but he felt as if he needed to say it anyway, hurt feelings be darned.
"I'm not going to give up just because you think it's the best thing to do," Stan stated. "Where's that reunion thing? I'll go too."
Gary sighed. "I can't stop you from following me but keep your distance from Kyra. You're the last person she needs to see now."
"You should know by now that I'm a persistent bastard," Stan retorted. "I got her to be my girlfriend twice. I can do it again. I've already given up my dignity before and if I have to get that Master Chief costume out again—"
"No!" Gary exclaimed, holding his hands up as if to ward against the possibility of that happening.
"Just so we're clear," Stan said with a smirk in all his pants-less glory.
Brittany felt frustrated and exhausted. The whole weekend was turning out to be one big trial, more than anything she expected. This whole time, people came up to her and talked to her all about Bonnie and how close they remembered the two of them being. That accounted for the exhaustion part.
Where the frustration part came in was due to her unable to get a moment's time alone with Kenny McCormick. She had learned he had a garage in town and it had taken her a while to get up the guts to manufacture enough of a dent that it would require Kenny to take a look at it while giving her the chance to try and finally bag him.
She made the dent that was probably superficial but the garage was closed for the day! She had a car here that she needed checked for possible internal damage and where was Kenny?
The whole weekend was turning into a bust. Here she was thinking that she could achieve some kind of life and included her one-sided high school sweetheart. But instead she once again made the butt of some cosmic joke that she swore Bonnie was behind just to make her miserable one more time.
Well, she made time to go for the final reunion event that Wendy had planned then get her ass on a plane back to D.C. where she could resume her Kenny-less life once more. A bit depressing, yes, but she had hope that she might get lucky here. It was a small hope but hope nonetheless.
They were meeting at a bowling alley, a new structure in South Park that laid on the outskirts of town. When it had been initially built, all the male adults of South Park had been into it while anyone of sane mind and with a certain youthful quality to them had thought it lame and stupid. Naturally, it exploded into your stereotypical South Park mess where things were overdramatized and well-known celebrities were involved.
She was glad she wasn't there to be in any way, shape, or form involved with it.
But Wendy thought that some bowling would be a nice send-off, one last opportunity for some quality time between former classmates while creating some fond memories that would have to last them for another ten years.
Brittany was beginning to doubt she'd attend a twentieth high school reunion.
Yet there she was and a few people had already shown up. Wendy was, of course, there, Bebe at her side. Trying on some bowling shoes was Craig Tucker and Clyde was chatting up a storm right next to him. Um…there was that Alice gal heading out of the restroom. Yeah, there were others that still needed to show up.
She found herself being shoved to a side by a large mass of fat that began to bellow, "Does anybody know a Jew lawyer? I need to sue a black asshole rapper who assaulted me unjustly!"
Okay, so maybe Cartman didn't need to show up.
"Is there a lawyer in the house?" Cartman continued to yell.
Wendy looked away and did not look up.
"Should've known no one here would be smart enough to go into law," Cartman grumbled. "Damn it, where's Kyle? That greedy Jewrat has to know some lawyers!"
And now Brittany was reminded why Cartman had the honor of being kicked out of LESBIAN first. Why they let him in the first time went beyond her. Christ, if only the bar stuff happened tonight and the bowling alley was yesterday. Wendy, Wendy, Wendy, you needed to plan this better!
"What are you complaining about?" a smooth yet deep voice demanded from beside her and Brittany found herself jumping in fright at the suddenness of it. Whipping her head to the side, she found, much to her shock, Kenny. Kenny's handsome features were distorted into a frown but Brittany knew she could recognize him anywhere.
"What dick went up your asshole?" Cartman retorted. "I need a lawyer, not that you would know any."
"Hey, I know lawyers," Kenny's frowned deepened. "The cheap ones at least."
"Cheap you say?" Cartman suddenly looked very interested. "Were any of them Jewish?"
"What does…? Forget it," Kenny shook his head.
"Come on Kenny, be a pal!" Cartman whined.
"They're only cheap because they don't like spending cash; their fees are not," Kenny muttered. Aloud, he said, "What do you need a lawyer for?"
"Kenny, I'm about to make it into the big time," Cartman smirked, his voice lowering into a conspiratorial tone. He must not have noticed her even though she was in plain sight as he continued talking. "I got beat up by a black guy today but not just any black guy. A rapper! Do you know how much cash those guys have? And do you know how they spend it? It would be in better hands, my hands, instead of some asshole who doesn't understand the concept of a dollar." Now that Cartman mentioned it, he did look like he had been beaten up recently. There was a growing black eye and dirt all over his face and his clothes…
"You don't understand the concept of a dollar," Kenny said, interrupting Brittany in her observations.
"That is a vicious lie and I hope you know you really hurt me by saying it," Cartman said, looking wounded.
"No, I don't know any Jewish lawyers," Kenny stated dully though whether he was telling the truth or a lie, Brittany had no clue.
"Goddamn it!" Cartman thundered. "What is this? Some kind of conspiracy to keep me poor?"
"You do a good enough job of that by yourself," Kenny commented.
"Oh ha ha, Kenny, that's a great one," Cartman growled.
"I got a lot more if you want to hear them," Kenny said brightly.
"Fuck you Kenny! I'll do this myself," Cartman snapped, stomping away. "I was going to give you a cut but I think I'll keep it all for myself! Screw you Kenny! I'm finding me a lawyer."
"Whatever," Kenny rolled his eyes and Brittany found herself falling in love with him all over again. "Oh, didn't see you there," Kenny said, spotting her. "How ya doing?"
"O-o-okay," Brittany stuttered and mentally berated herself for sound so lame. Come on Brittany, you're making an impression here!
"That's nice," Kenny nodded his head and looked over all the others that had shown up. "Not a lot of people here."
"Who sticks around for a three day reunion?" Brittany found herself asking and she congratulated herself for not sounding dumb.
"Hope Wendy's gotten it out of her system. She can't keep trying to impress people with her new law degree," Kenny said.
"Ah ha! I knew you were a lawyer you hippie! You gotta know some Jews who work with you!" Cartman's voice carried all the way from across the bowling alley.
"I'm criminal! Not civil!" Wendy protested.
Kenny shrugged his shoulders. "Guess it's no longer something to rub in other people's faces anymore."
Okay Brittany, now was your chance. Time to really engage Kenny, get him to like you enough and then possibly get some seduction in here. Kenny still liked sex, right? Why was she asking that, he was a guy! Of course he did! Now how could she work it in?
Just when her big chance had come in, the entrance behind them opened and in came three more people. Stan she recognized immediately and then there was…Gary and Kyra? That's right, Gary and Kyra; they were at the reunion a couple nights ago. Ugh, and they had to pick now?
"You made it," Kenny greeted.
"Of course," Stan said.
"I was talking to Gary, not you Stan," Kenny replied.
Stan narrowed his eyes at the blond Mormon but said nothing.
"Let's get this over with," Kenny said, sounding put out and tired. Brittany wondered what could have caused that. "I'd rather be laughed out sooner than later."
"It's going to be okay," Gary said, face bright with a smile. Huh, that smile was infectious, Brittany thought to herself. Even she wanted to smile.
"Right. Hey, how about you go over to the rest of the guys…and girls," Kenny said to her, his exhaustion most prominent in his killer blue eyes. Brittany found herself nodding and walking ahead of the small group to where Wendy and the others were. Not that she liked Wendy, mind you, but that just happened to be where Kenny and the rest were heading.
Craig and Clyde glanced up at them but they resumed what they were doing like they were uninterested. Everyone else didn't even give her or any of them a look, more wrapped up in the little drama that Cartman was forcing on Wendy. Whatever it was that Kenny and Gary wanted to talk about, Brittany thought it was awfully rude of them to ignore them.
Hey, maybe she could—
"Cartman, could you shut your fat ass mouth for a moment?" Kenny butt into one of Cartman's wild demands.
"Why don't you shut your Goddamn mouth you poor asshole!" Cartman shot back, peeved that someone had interrupted him of all people.
"Christ I'm starting to feel like Kyle," Kenny moaned under his breath.
"What was that? I couldn't quite hear you Kenny. Are you so poor that you can't afford to say words anymore?" Cartman taunted.
"How about we all calm down," Gary tried to intervene.
"And now there's this asshole trying to be a hippie and get everybody to listen and be nice, whatever that means," Cartman turned on the Mormon.
"Don't talk to him like that," Kenny came to Gary's defense.
"Whatever, whatever, I talk like I want!" Cartman claimed.
"DEMONS! MONSTERS!"
Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked towards the front entrance where they saw the rapper Nathan Wilkes supporting a very scared and somewhat deranged young woman. She looked like she had seen something horrible and Brittany was proud to say she was one of the first to respond, coming to the young woman's side and trying to calm her down.
"What is it? What about demons and monsters?" Brittany asked, while trying to soothe the woman.
"Hey, hey, you might want to stay away from her," Cartman warned. "Her craziness might be infectious."
"Shut up!" both Kenny and Stan shouted at the fat man.
"What's wrong with her?" Wendy wondered as she took over from Nathan and helped Brittany to direct the hysterical woman to one of the booths.
"Shh," she heard Gary shush the young woman who, for some reason, responded to him. "It's alright, you're safe here," he said and Brittany was amazed not only just by how intently the young woman was listening to him but also how much she herself believed him. "Now, what is your name?"
The woman hiccupped. "Anna."
"Okay, Anna, it's going to be okay," Gary said, smiling softly at her. "Can you tell me what happened?"
Anna nodded, in more control now than when she had first shown up. "Da."
"Ooh, Russian," Kenny murmured under his breath.
"Who is this guy?" Nathan Wilkes muttered to Stan who stood nearby, trying to also be helpful.
"Mormon," was all that Stan would answer.
"City Hall," Anna practically sobbed out. "There were monsters there. And Kyle…Mr. Broflovski was in the middle of them. They must have torn him to pieces."
"Whoa, whoa, Kyle?" Stan exclaimed.
"I don't think anything's happened to Kyle," Gary told the troubled Anna. "I think he's safe. Do you believe me?"
"I do not know why but da," Anna answered.
"Is there anything else you saw?" Gary asked, holding Anna's hand gently and patting it.
"Mayor. He was so evil," Anna nodded, blinking tearful eyes at Gary. "He was leader."
"I know," Gary said ever so gently. "Is that all?"
"Another person. He was cheering him, Mayor," Anna said haltingly, as if she was about to break out into tears at any moment.
"Dillan," Kenny said. Huh? How did Kenny know that, Brittany wondered.
"What about him?" Craig asked, coming up from behind the mechanic.
"It's the reason why Gary and I are here," Kenny replied. Looking pointedly at Gary, he asked, "Do you want to tell them or should I?"
"No, no, I'll do it," Gary said as he gave Anna's hand a comforting squeeze. "Hey guys? Could you listen for a minute?"
Everyone, including Anna, looked up at him, some expectantly.
"I know that this is going to sound really, really…strange but I swear, it's all true," Gary said. "Very recently, I found out that I am the Son of God and the Mayor is the Antichrist who is trying to jumpstart the apocalypse early. I have been told to stop him but the Mayor has begun to gather people in town to help him in his cause and I am asking you guys if you would help me out and side with Heaven."
Truly, Gary sounded like he really believed all that. Brittany, however, was skeptical. Perhaps it should be Gary who was demented and needed to go away to an asylum for a very long time. Everybody knew that Jesus was the only Son of God and the Messiah to boot.
"What are you smoking and can I have some of it?" Craig asked. "It would make dealing with Brianna a lot easier and that would make me sooooo happy."
"I believe him," Kyra spoke up, speaking for the first time since she got here.
"Why?" Craig asked.
"Because he's telling the truth. I was there," Kenny stated, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Well that figures," Craig said.
"If you do not believe the Second Coming himself, then perhaps you will believe me," another voice chimed in and this one…well, Brittany was more willing to believe this crazy story that Gary was weaving now.
Because if her eyes were not mistaken, that was an angel standing right over there, wings and a trumpet in hand and looking so…holy, she supposed.
"Is that an angel?" Clyde asked, pointing a finger at the supernatural creature to be exact.
"Gabriel," the angel introduced himself. "Michael had a feeling you would all be skeptical and thus had me transubstantiate in order to convince you and do you know how hard it is to do that?"
A bunch of them, including Brittany shook their heads in the negative.
"I thought so, now I'm not going to get into all how God got into Gary's mother's pants but Gary is indeed the Messiah for this day and age," Gabriel said, Gary's face flushing a bright red in embarrassment. "What I am going to get into is that the dark one masquerading as your mayor has begun mortal recruitment and we in Heaven feel that in order to combat that we need some mortals on our side too."
"Count me in!" Cartman piped up automatically. "Anything to have Heaven owe me one."
Everyone, including Gabriel, gave Cartman an odd look before shrugging and looking away from him.
"Ey, what was that for? You think I'm not Heaven material?" Cartman complained.
"It's not like I haven't been involved with something like this before. Sure, why not?" Stan shrugged.
"Figures you guys would be the first," Craig commented.
"What's that supposed to mean, Craig?" Stan demanded, almost spitting out Craig's name like it was something foul.
"Come on guys, now's not the time to argue!" Wendy said. "I know I would be honored to aid to help out but I have a new job that I need to go to and—"
"Don't you worry about that; we'll take care of that," Gabriel cut in. "We in Heaven wouldn't want to make any of you suffer for trying to save the world from pure evil like being fired or something stupid like that."
"Well, if that's the case, I guess I can," Wendy shrugged.
"I got nothing planned or scheduled," Bebe said, looking through her iPhone. "What about you Alice?"
"Nothing until next week," Alice replied. "Funny, could have sworn I had something…well nothing for it. Heaven's a nice place where good people go, right? It's safer than Hell so yeah, count me in."
"Me too!" Brittany added, eyes darting over to where Kenny was. Kenny was already a part of this so why shouldn't she? She'd prove herself this way and gain Kenny's love at long last.
"Well, if I won't get fired, I guess I could help out," Clyde said, shrugging his shoulders.
"Good people go to Heaven," Anna said, sniffling. "I want to save Kyle. He's been so nice to me since I moved to this town. Good always wins."
"You're damn right is does," Gabriel said.
"Looks like someone's getting lonely here," Cartman chuckled, eyes on Craig. "So, Craig? What are ya gonna do? Everybody's joining the Kick-Hell's-Ass team. And you gonna join Heaven too or are ya gonna be a Debbie Downer and join Hell? Please join Hell because I would love to kick your ass."
"Do I have to pick a side?" Craig asked.
"Yes," most of the people in the room said.
"If that's the case, I'll pick Heaven," Craig said, not looking at anyone.
"Great," Gabriel said. "That just leaves…" he turned towards Nathan who hadn't declared what side he was on yet.
"Why are you guys looking at me? I was just dropping her off," Nathan gestured to Anna.
"So now it's clear to see, your soul is just as black as your skin," Cartman smirked.
"I'm just trying to get Charlotte to like me!" Nathan protested.
"Charlotte?" Gabriel repeated.
"Charlie?" Gary asked.
"Yeah. I don't see how getting involved with in a battle of good and evil is going to help out," Nathan stated.
"Well, chicks do like guys who kick ass," Gabriel pointed out.
"Why are you interested in her anyway?" Stan asked. "Wasn't she going out with some crazy guy?"
"Bain," Kenny said, Nathan's face darkening at the mention of it.
"She deserves better than him," he muttered. Brittany was beginning to think that there may be a few screws loose in this guy's head. Why'd he like Charlie? She definitely remembered the other girl from high school but the one thing she remembered most was that she was with that crazy asshole Bain.
Brittany was just glad that he had decided not to show up to the reunion. Made everybody's lives easier.
Regardless of what she thought, Nathan looked as if he was in thought, something going through his mind. For a moment, she had a bad feeling about him and she could only pray that it wasn't because he was African American. She didn't want to be accused of racism, you know.
"You know what? Sure, I'll help," Nathan said.
"Thank you all," Gary said, even though Kenny was eyeing Nathan suspiciously. "You have no idea what this means."
"Not yet they don't," Gabriel said. "We're going to need to take this somewhere safe where no one who would be listening in on us can hear us. I suppose we're going to have to go up to the City of Heaven before we can continue."
Something was off with Tammy but Charlie was not in the mood to look further into it. If something was wrong, she hoped that her little sister would come to her about it. In the meantime, she still had a book that she needed to write and for once she was getting something done.
It was pretty exciting.
Yet the recollection of how Tammy was maybe a little too interested in what she thought about Nathan was a cause for concern. Well, maybe not concern and more like the teen was up to something. But you got the gist of it. Why was Tammy fascinated by her love life all of a sudden? Not that there was a love life but…
Like hell any of you needed to know about it.
Yeah, Nathan seemed nice but Charlie wasn't taken with first impressions. It was rare that a first impression was the true self of the person and she could count on one hand how many times that was the case.
So she was just going to, you know, do her job and write something down for once. She had a deadline and couldn't put it off forever like some people on the internet would.
And then the doorbell rang. If it was Nathan again, she was punching him in the face. She was on a roll here and this was just bad timing on his part. Getting up, she stomped out of the study and headed for the front door, swearing and grumbling under her breath.
This had better be good.
"Hello Charlie," Damien greeted, smirking while his red eyes lit up at the sight of her.
She slammed the door shut.
Not a second later the doorbell was ringing. Still in front of the door, Charlie nearly tore the door off and snarled, "What?"
"Is that anyway to speak to me?" Damien asked with a mock-pout.
"Don't try and pull an innocent act on me. I've seen you at your worst and no I don't mean when you're committing an evil deed," Charlie hissed. "I mean acting like a teenage girl who just broke up with her boyfriend, that kind of worst."
"Then I guess there's no use with chitchat with you," Damien sighed as if he was under some heavy burden. Right. Like he knew what that felt like. "Charlie, I am holding you to the deal you made with my father. I need Beelzebub or at least his office by my side for the indeterminable future."
Charlie blinked at that. He was bringing up that old thing? But why?
As if reading her mind, Damien continued, "The task my father has assigned me has caught a snag. It seems like Heaven is making a pest of itself and preventing me from achieving my objectives. I wouldn't be surprised if this escalated."
"And coming to me isn't escalation," Charlie said calming, a hand gripping the door tightly.
"It most certainly is," Damien confirmed. "But I rather have you with me on the front lines now instead of waiting for the shit to hit the fan and then coming to you and have you fix it."
"Ah, so you want me to cause some damage and not get involved with damage control," Charlie said.
"No, I need you for damage control," Damien corrected.
"What makes you think I'm any good at that?" Charlie glared at him.
"Your boy toy," Damien said simply, his smirk growing.
"You are such an asshole," Charlie grumbled. "Both of you are."
"You have an obligation to my father and my father wants this sensitive situation taken care of," Damien said. "As much as I don't want to say it, I need you. I need what you can bring."
"And just what can I bring?" Charlie asked wryly.
"Certain resources…" Damien hinted at but did not say aloud.
"If that's the case…then I have a condition of my own," Charlie said.
"A condition?" Damien repeated.
"I need you to take me to Palo Alto," Charlie stated. "I have something I need to get there that will…improve the quality of my work."
"Why do I have the feeling that I'm not going to like this?" Damien asked.
Author's Note: I'd like to take this time to give some credit to ShadowMajin for helping me out with Ongkanon, the angel whose name not even the narrator can remember. Yes, Ongkanon is the name of a real angel if you are wondering.