A/N: This is when the story starts to become rated T. Let's face it, they're in high school now and their hormones are raging. haha. But on a serious note, thank you so much for the fic love! :)

February 14, 1989

When fifteen-year-old Olivia arrived at school that morning, she was far from ready to experience her first Valentine's Day as a high school student. Unlike junior high, almost everyone was coupled up and their gifts to each other were more extravagant. Instead of cards and letters, girls were walking around with oversized stuffed animals and bouquets of flowers and balloons that their boyfriends had given them. Instead of excitement over first kisses, Olivia overheard girls talking about how romantic it would be to lose their virginity to their boyfriends on Valentine's Day. It was all too much for her and she wished she could go back to elementary school or even junior high—anywhere but North Fallbrook High, where everyone's hormones were raging including Alex's.

"I'm seeing Casey tonight," Alex said excitedly as the girls were standing near their lockers. "My parents aren't going to be home and they have no idea she's coming over."

"So?" Abbie asked.

"So, she said she's going to slip me the tongue tonight," Alex bragged. "And…"

"And what?" Abbie asked.

"And I'm going to try to get to second base—under her shirt and under her bra," Alex said to her two best friends. "I'm telling you girls—having a girlfriend is awesome."

"Bullshit!" Olivia said angrily. "I bet she won't even slip you the tongue. Stop trying to make yourself out to be a big shot, Alex."

"Yeah, Lex," Abbie told her. "Stop bragging about something you know won't happen. Casey isn't like that—not like her best friend Serena. Serena does it. She goes all the way."

"How do you know?" Olivia asked.

Abbie smirked. "I can see it in her eyes. That girl lets you get it in."

"And you want to get it in?" Olivia asked.

"Yes," Abbie said and pressed her forehead against her locker door. "Yes, yes, for the love of all that is good in the world, yes! I would give anything to get in there. She's so hot!"

Olivia wrinkled her face in disgust. "Gross. Am I the only one here who doesn't think about sex 24/7?"

"Yeah," Alex told her. "And stop acting like you're above us because of it."

"Olivia Benson aka the Virgin Queen," Abbie teased.

"There's nothing wrong with that," Olivia insisted. "I'm saving myself and I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a virgin and I'll stay one until I'm ready."

"Saving yourself for what?" Alex asked sarcastically. "A fairy tale?"

"No," Olivia said defensively. "I'm saving myself for the right girl. Sex is a big deal, Alex, a really big deal. I'm not going to sleep with just anybody. I want to wait until I have a girlfriend and we're comfortable enough and we love each other enough to experience something so special together."

"Well, I've already found the right girl," Alex said as she grabbed her geometry book. "I have to get to class. See you girls at lunch."

Olivia spent the rest of the school day trying to avoid Alex—even it if meant skipping lunch and ditching one of the classes they had together. She was still in love with Alex and hearing her talk about Casey and knowing what Alex and Casey were going to do that night was enough to break Olivia's heart all over again. She wanted to be the girl kissing Alex, the girl spending Valentine's Day with Alex and, although she hated to admit it, the girl who Alex got to second base with.

Olivia tried to be calm and collected until she arrived at home. That's when she slammed her backpack on the ground and cried into a pillow on the couch. She hoped she was home alone, but she remembered that her mom taught a morning class and didn't have office hours that day. Olivia knew it was only a matter of time before her mom came into the living room and asked her what was bothering her. She usually loved talking to her mom, but not about this subject. Olivia had grown up around her mom's gay and lesbian friends, but she still wasn't sure how her mom would handle her own daughter being a lesbian. Olivia knew it wasn't something most parents would wish for their children, but Olivia hoped her mom was different.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Serena asked as she sat down next to her daughter.

"Nothing," Olivia mumbled into the pillow.

"If you're crying, it has to be something," Serena said and held her crying fifteen-year-old.

"Mom, do you promise to love me no matter what?"

"Olivia," Serena said and looked into her eyes. "Nothing and I mean nothing could make me stop loving you. You're my daughter and the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"I don't think you'll feel that way after I tell you this."

"Tell me what, Liv?"

Olivia wiped her tears on her sleeve and tried to think of the right thing to say to her mom. She had rehearsed this repeatedly for a year, but she knew there was no way she would get the words right so she decided to lose herself in the moment. "Mom, I like girls."

"Liv?"

"Yes?" Olivia asked. She was relieved when her mom started smiling at her and hugging her even tighter.

"Sweetheart, I know."

"You know?" Olivia asked. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I've known you were gay since you were four, Liv," Serena began. "The reason I didn't tell you is because I didn't know if you were aware of it and I didn't want to confuse you or make you question yourself. Sexuality is confusing no matter if you're gay or straight or bisexual and I wanted you to come to me with any of your questions instead of me telling you what you are. It's something you have to discover for yourself Olivia and it seems like you have."

"So, you're okay with it? You're not going to tell me I'm disgusting or disown me?"

"Olivia Lorraine Benson, why would I do that?" Serena asked.

"I don't know. I was just afraid. It wasn't easy for me to tell you this."

"You're fifteen and you're growing up," Serena told her. "It's normal for you to be afraid and confused, but I want you to feel as if you can let me in. I know you have a lot of feelings right now and things are changing for you, which is why I want to help you, Liv."

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"I'm in love with Alex, but she doesn't see me that way. She has a girlfriend and all they do is make-out. I suppose I should be happy for her, but I'm not. I want Alex to be my girl. I want that more than anything I've ever wanted. I love her so much, Mom. I think about her every night and not sex things, you know? I think about holding her and kissing her and writing her love letters and taking her to the movies like we used to do. Why doesn't she like me, Mom? Is something wrong with me? Am I that ugly?"

"Olivia!"

"I'm serious, Mom," Olivia said as she started crying again. "Am I too ugly for Alex? That's it, isn't it? I hate the way I look. Why can't I be gorgeous?"

"Have you looked at yourself lately?" Serena asked.

"Yes and that's why I'm saying I'm ugly," Olivia insisted. "If I was pretty, Alex would be mine."

"Olivia Benson, you are beautiful and I'm not just saying that because I'm your mom. Not only are you beautiful, but you're smart and funny and a sweet girl. Any girl would be lucky to have you—not that I want anyone to take my baby from me."

"If any girl would be lucky to have me, why won't Alex have me?"

"I have a feeling the two of you will be together someday," Serena told her. "Maybe not tomorrow or the next day, but eventually she'll be your girl."

"Really?" Olivia asked, finally feeling hopeful.

"Yes," Serena insisted. "I see the way she looks at you and the way you look at her. It's an intense look that I rarely even see on adult couples and, to be honest, it scares the hell out of me. I don't want my little girl falling in love so soon. I want you to keep playing sports and video games for the rest of your life."

"I can play sports and video games and still like girls," Olivia said. "Most importantly, I can do all three of those and still be your little girl. I'll always be your little girl, Mom, even when I'm all grown up and married to Alex."