11 – To Be a Ninja

The weeks passed slowly and painstakingly. Ryoka's skill increased with remarkable speed, but wasn't satisfied. She, unsurprisingly, developed an interest in the Nara clan, and their ability to manipulate shadows. After all, the Nara clan had founded her own village before deciding to move to Konoha. She knew she would have an affinity for shadows if she tried hard enough, but she had to understand the techniques first.

As such, she found herself following Shikamaru around, much to the Nara's annoyance. He would simply sigh and mutter about how troublesome she was, as she peeked around trees and from bushes to watch him train. Unfortunately, he only trained when his frightening sister or mother ordered him to, which wasn't very often. The rest of the time he spent watching clouds, which she quickly grew impatient of and would leave to find someone else she found interesting.

That someone else she had stumbled upon when she couldn't sleep and decided to go for a walk at dawn instead. Two men clad in green jumpsuits had been doing handstand pushups in a field, before finishing and sparring with each other at a frightening speed.

Their taijutsu had enthralled her, and she had quickly approached them, watching from behind a tree with wide eyes. One was noticeably taller than the other, but they looked so similar, Ryoka could have sworn they were father and son, rather than student and sensei as she discovered later. The taller one had noticed her as soon as the spar was over.

"What's this?! A springtime bud, admiring our work and wishing to blossom into eternal youth?!"

Ryoka had shrank back, startled and rather confused, but he had approached her and was standing before her immediately.

"I am Might Guy! It is lovely to meet you, and this is my youthful student, Rock Lee! He is a Genin, and hopeless at molding chakra, but you will never find a student more devoted to taijutsu!"

At this, the student, Lee's, eyes filled with tears.

"Sensei! You praise me too much!"

"Lee!"

"Sensei!"

"Lee!"

Might Guy turned to face her once more, now noticing that she was rather bewildered and had been rendered utterly speechless. "So," he leaned forward, hand on his hips. "Lee needs a sparring partner, and I would be honored if a future blossoming bud such as yourself would take up the challenge!"

Something about the way he asked made Ryoka feel like she was not the first person he had delivered this speech to. From what she could understand, this was a sensei of a real Genin, and a superb taijutsu fighter at that, and he was willing to let her learn.

She nodded. A chance like this would likely never come again. A flicker of surprise crossed Guy's face, before he beamed at her, shooting her a thumbs up that made her jump.

"Excellent! We begin at dawn every morning!"

She almost smiled. Perfect.

Over time, Ryoka learned the names of her classmates quickly, but didn't get very close to them. They kept their distance as well, something she had grown accustomed to. She was satisfied with her routine, and friendship didn't necessarily have to be a part of that. It was one day she heard whispers around her and was surprised at what she heard.

"Did you hear about Sasuke-kun?"

"I heard the Uchiha clan was killed."

"He's the only survivor."

"Do you think he's okay?"

"Baka, of course he's not."

"What do we say?"

"How should I know?"

Ryoka glanced at Sasuke. He was staring straight ahead, elbows resting on the desk with his chin in his hands. His eyes were dark and brooding. So there was another now who had lost their family. She didn't sympathize for him. He would get strong because of it. He would be an idiot not to. It was a rude awakening to how weak they were in a world of superb fighters.

She went to the library after school like usual, reading up on chakra control, and eventually was headed home when she paused to sit on a bench. Her morning sessions with Guy were beginning to leave her so sore that such breaks were necessary. She noticed Sakura coming her direction and tensed to leave and disappear, before deciding against it when her aching muscles protested the movement. Figuring the pink haired girl would simply continue walking by anyways, Ryoka stayed where she was. She had to hide her surprise when Sakura sat next to her, sighing into the palm of her hand.

"Ne, Nadeshiko-chan, did you hear about Sasuke-kun?"

Ryoka didn't answer. She hadn't spoken once since coming to Konoha.

"I want to be there for Sasuke-kun, but he keeps pushing me away. I think... I think I love him. Have you ever loved someone?" She asked, her emerald eyes looking up to meet Ryoka's. She answered herself automatically.

"Of course you have, you probably love your mom and dad, right?"

Ryoka winced, but Sakura wasn't looking at her.

"Well, I think... I just need someone who will listen. I don't want to argue with Ino over him, and I don't want to flirt with the other girls, somehow it just seems to bother him, but I noticed you don't seem to love him, so I thought it might be okay if I talked to you."

She looked at Ryoka questioningly, worry in her bright green eyes.

"You don't like him, right?" A defensive edge had crept into her voice, and Ryoka slowly shook her head. The few times she and Sasuke crossed paths, he was always trying to pick a fight, especially since he lost his family. While she had retreated deep into her heart at her clan's death, he seemed to grow more hostile and aggressive. No, she didn't like Sasuke.

Sakura sighed in relief and began to tell her everything, from the day she met Ino, and her troubles from then on. Ryoka didn't interrupt once, letting her speak. When the girl was finished she was almost in tears.

Ryoka had no idea why Sakura thought talking to her was a good idea, but she listened, trying to see Sakura's side of the story. To her, Sakura's life seemed ridiculously simple. Of course, her family friends and village had been slaughtered, her sister was in temporary care, she had tried to kill the Kazekage, and she had been tortured to near death. She didn't know how her life could get more complicated.

She tried to imagine Sakura's life, a girl whose biggest worry was how to comfort the boy she loved. She blinked in surprise as she felt Sakura lean against her, sniffling, and she stayed very still. She turned her gaze to Sakura, who met her eyes, honey to emerald. She offered Sakura a weak, reassuring smile and put a hand on her shoulder awkwardly, knowing words wouldn't help, but not knowing what else to do. Sakura's eyes widened, and her face brightened.

"Thanks, Nadeshiko-chan," he said, wiping away a stray tear. "I guess I just needed to talk to someone. You're a really good listener, you know that?"

She stood and turned, waving over her shoulder. Ryoka stood and abandoned the path for the safety of the trees, vanishing into the shadows before heading home.

Ryoka began to notice some of the students talking to her after about two months of school. She didn't understand why. She acted like she always did, avoiding people and staying inconspicuous, and she still hadn't uttered a single word since arriving.

The only reason she could fathom for it was because she didn't speak. People felt like sharing their problems because they knew she would listen but wouldn't judge or spite them for it. Also, not talking meant she wouldn't share their stories with anyone else, or say anything behind their backs, which seemed a rare trait among the girls. Either way, it made Ryoka uncomfortable to be sought out by people and she had begun to hide when being approached, not that she was always successful in escaping.

So far, Sakura had told her about Sasuke, Ino had talked to her about Sakura, Hinata had talked to her, very briefly, about Naruto, and even Rock Lee had briefly spoken his concerns against Neji after a very one sided spar that left her battered and bruised. That had been the day Guy-sensei had introduced her to arm and leg weights, since she had finally mastered all of the basic motions and stances for taijutsu. She had thought she had been doing well only to receive a massive blow to her pride when she realized how much Lee had been holding back. Now she insisted on having weights as well, though they were much lighter as 'one had to slowly adjust' as Guy put it.

The talks confused her to no end, but she accepted it and kept training hard. At least it helped ease her loneliness, even if it wasn't by much.

Bit by bit, Ryoka lost her ability to sleep. At first she managed to sleep four or five hours a night, but nightmares plagued her and she would wake up with toothaches from clenching her teeth so hard. After that, she tried sleeping with a leather chord in her mouth, biting down on it both to prevent screaming and to spare her teeth. For a week or so it seemed to work, but the stress of the nightmares began to take its toll.

She began to lose weight, and her skin paled further until it was nearly translucent. When her health faltered to the point that she was losing her progress in training, she decided that sleep would have to go. And from then on rather than allow herself to fall into a demented hell of nightmares, she would simply meditate. This caused the rings around her eyes to darken, but it wasn't very prominent. It just made her eyes more defined and slightly more feline. Her hair had grown as well, though its growth had slowed with during her phase of twisted nightmares. Now it was well past her elbows. She would have to cut it soon before it got in the way of her training, but she wanted it to cover her back, in case her shirt tore and her seal was revealed. For now she just braided it into a single braid and let her bangs hang as they were. She still sat on the roof every night, no matter what the weather, since the stars convinced her she wasn't in a world of darkness. Right before dawn broke she would go to train with Lee.

Soon, she would be a Genin. She didn't care what her rank was as long as she was officially a shinobi. Even a Genin could train to be more powerful than a Jounin. Just a few more weeks before she would let herself wear her brother's forehead protector. Then she would have to leave Konoha. Neither Suna nor Konoha had felt like home, and her village was gone. She had decided to wander from village to village, getting stronger until she felt satisfied she could protect what she loved.

Mulling over the places she could go, she sat on the roof, just as Sasuke appeared before her. She had noticed him brooding more often and growing more hostile as time passed, but wasn't surprised. He had lost his family like her after all. She wouldn't be surprised if he suffered the same nightmares she did.

She lazily flicked her eyes up to him.

Her silent question was clear. What do you want?

"Fight me," he demanded, not for the first time. She leaned back against the roof, clearly having no intention whatsoever of doing so.

"You are the only one who has a chance of equaling me. I want to become stronger. Fight me."

Her eyes narrowed slightly, seeing through his actions. He didn't want to become stronger. He wanted revenge. Something else had happened. A betrayal. He was out for blood, and power was his first goal to get it. She slowly shook her head, her eyes lowering. She had no interest in fighting him. She didn't need him to get stronger.

"Why not?" He asked coolly. She didn't answer, same as the countless other times people had questioned her.

"You are strong, but you don't show it. You can fight, but you choose not to. You can speak, but you don't say a word," he accused, dark eyes boring into hers. She stood up slowly. It was almost dawn. She should meet up with Lee soon.

"I don't want a battle. I just want a match, and I don't want you to hold back." Sasuke was speaking through clenched teeth, as if it physically pained him to be civil.

She stared at him emotionlessly for a moment. Then she sighed.

"Oi!" A voice called from the ground.

"If you two are fighting it out, mind if we join?"

Sasuke and Ryoka turned to see Ino and Kiba watching them.

Ryoka nodded, much to Sasuke's displeasure, but he made no comment. They went to the nearest training ground and the four faced each other.

"Let's team up," Kiba suggested. "Me, Akamaru, and Nadeshiko versus you and Ino," he said, trying to even out the skill level. They nodded and Kiba stood next to Nadeshiko.

"If you let Sasuke get you pinned I can attack from the side. Ino's got a nasty mind transfer technique, so try to catch her as soon as I get Sasuke. After that, I'll follow your lead, ok?" Kiba's voice was low, and Ryoka approved of the strategy, though she probably would have chosen something slightly different. He seemed to fight more offensively than she preferred to.

Ryoka nodded, grabbing a shuriken. Sasuke met her eyes darkly. He would attack her first. Without a doubt. Kiba faked attacking Ino and Sasuke appeared behind Ryoka. She whirled around, bringing her fist towards his neck, and knowing he would catch it. He grabbed her wrist and she suppressed a smile as his other hand shoved against her neck and slammed her into the ground. She gagged, hoping Kiba would hurry up.

"Gatsuga!" A voice yelled triumphantly as Kiba barreled into Sasuke. Sasuke was thrown back, startled, and Ryoka dashed towards Ino. The girl had already formed a foreign seal, and her lips were moving to perform the technique. It hit Ryoka dead on. Ryoka stopped where she was, feeling Ino's presence fight for control in her mind. Ryoka panicked for an instant. If Ino took over her mind it would be disastrous. It would force Ino to battle the seven tails, and kill the blonde if they weren't compatible, which honestly, was more likely than not. A blood chilling growl rumbled from the depths of her mind and Ino paused, uncertain. The connection wavered. A sudden crushing agony in Ryoka's head made both girls cringe. Ino had her hands on her head, moaning, whole Ryoka had one eye closed, trying to keep the pain under control. She felt Ino release the jutsu and stumble back.

"What the hell-?!"

Ryoka stood, the pain fading away, and disappeared, reappearing behind Ino and knocking the confused blonde to the ground. Hopefully she would just assume that the jutsu had failed. Meanwhile, Sasuke had gotten Kiba pinned. Leaving Ino on the ground, Ryoka tackled Sasuke, pushing him off and exposing them in the moonlight. He flipped over, so that he was the one pinning her, and his eyes widened.

"Stop," he ordered. Ino and Kiba froze. His eyes were wide, and his body was trembling, whether in anger or shock she couldn't tell.

"Who… did this to you?" He asked her darkly. She stared back, confused, before she realized what he was seeing. Her heart pounded as she struggled to keep her face blank. He lifted one of her arms, where silver scars crisscrossed and overlapped from her wrist to her shoulder, throbbing slightly beneath his grip.

Ino and Kiba walked over.

"Oi, Sasuke, what are you talking about?" Kiba complained. "Things were just getting interesting."

"Look at this," he said, raising Ryoka's arm. Ino squinted in the dark, trying to see what he was talking about, but Ryoka jerked her arm away, shoving Sasuke off her much more roughly than she ever had before. She pulled on her jacket from where she had left it by a boulder and zipped it halfway, obscuring her skin. The scars had never faded, and she doubted they ever would. She just had to learn a jutsu to conceal them, and then no one would know. She backed away from them, and turned, jumping into the trees and running to the training grounds to meet up with Guy-sensei and Lee.

"What was it, Sasuke-kun?" Ino asked curiously.

Sasuke stared at the spot where Ryoka had disappeared.

"Nothing," he answered finally. "It was nothing."