Author's note: A little more from Darry's pov later in the chapter. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders, but Motley's mine.

Chapter 11: I Waited For You

MOTLEY'S POV

Eleven-forty-five.

Soda came back into the room. He took me in, staring at the phone like it'd just told me my puppy was dead, and he knew what was going on. "He still hasn't called?"

I shook my head wordlessly. If I said anything I'd start crying, and I didn't wanna do that anymore. I'd already broken that promise to myself enough times. I wasn't in the mood to do it again.

"Motley, he probably just lost track of time…"

"For-" I checked my watch "-two hours and forty-seven minutes?"

"I can't believe him. I really can't." Soda started muttering and cussing under his breath. It sounded like he said 'what the duck is the matter with him? I mean, seriously, what the duck?' but something tells me I was wrong. Soda doesn't usually talk about ducks. Though, to be fair, you never know with him.

"It's fine, Soda." I said, looking away. "At least now I know."

His head snapped up. "Know what?"

My voice broke as I repeated Darry's words from earlier. "'If I didn't love you, I wouldn't call.'"

It was so quiet, I'd be willing to swear Soda'd stopped breathing. Then, "Motley, that ain't what he meant. It ain't. He loves you. He really does. I swear."

"Like shit." I sounded funny. I really wasn't sure if I was laughing or sobbing at this point. They sound and feel so similar.

"Motley…"

"Look, I wanna… I wanna be alone. Can you… Can you just…"

"Yeah, buddy, I get it. See ya in the morning, 'kay? We can kick Darry's ass together." He patted my shoulder and then he was gone.

I stared at the phone like the meaning of life was written across it. Isn't it interesting that such a little object could have so much sway over how I felt just then? Over how I would probably view me and Darry's relationship for the rest of my life? It seemed funny to me, for some reason.

Midnight.

That was it. I was done. He wasn't gonna call. I didn't mean anything to him. Why did I even bother anymore? He'd said if he didn't love me, he wouldn't call, and he hadn't called. Question answered. Without an effing doubt. Maybe I'd been special to him once, but Cealia was special to him now, and I just wasn't anymore.

I stood up off the couch, pulled on my shoes and jacket, and slammed out the back door, leaving it hanging wide open.

DARRY'S POV

It hit me about halfway home what I'd forgotten, and I think I broke my land-speed record the rest of the way home. I couldn't believe I'd forgotten. Of all the things I could've forgot, this had to be it.

I pulled up in front of the house, jumped out of the car, and hurried up the front steps. "Shit shit shit shit shit…" I shoved the door open.

The living room was empty, devoid of my kid brother. I hurried down the hall to his room, needing to apologize, explain-

He wasn't there. I stared at the cold bed, still not made from when we'd taken him to the hospital.

As I went back out to the living room, I poked my head in Ponyboy and Soda's room just to be sure. Nope. They were both sound asleep.

I looked around for clues as to where Motley could be. His jacket was gone, and so were his shoes. Okay. He'd gone out. But gone out where? When had he given up on me?

That's when I noticed the back door hanging wide open. I went over. One of the hinges was broken. When he'd left, he'd been pissed.

"He ain't here." I heard a voice behind me say.

I turned. Sodapop was standing there, looking at me like I was Satan incarnate.

"Then where is he?"

"Hell if I know."

"Sodapop…"

"He waited for you." I took a step back, startled by the venom in Soda's voice. "He waited so long for you. At least until midnight. He was so sure you'd call. And what did he get from you? Nothing."

"Soda-"

"You should've chosen your words more carefully when you left, Darry. How d'you think that sounded to him?"

"How do I think what sounded?"

"If I didn't love you, I wouldn't call."

I felt like the bottom had dropped out of my stomach. Oh no. Oh hell. "He didn't take it that way, right? He didn't mention that to you, did he?"

"Yeah, he did. He said at least now he knows, and I was all know what, and he repeated that at me."

"Shit. What've I done, Soda?"

"I think you've made sure he's done with you. For good. And so am I." And he turned around and left. A second later, I heard his door slam.

Damn it. What was the matter with me? Were messes all I could make? It was like I was trying to tear my family apart. First I'd hit Ponyboy, now I'd basically told Motley to his face that I didn't love him, and Soda was mad on his twin's behalf. Bet you anything Ponyboy would be pissed with me in the morning too.

I sat down heavily on the couch. I felt like the worst person alive. What was I doing to my family? What would Mom and Dad think of me if they saw me now? How mad would they be at me for hitting Ponyboy? For what I'd done to Motley? If someone else had done these things to my brothers, I'd've made sure they never saw the light of day again. Never.

So how could I possibly be so careless as to do this to them myself?

MOTLEY'S POV

I'd never been this stupid drunk in my life. Not to mention I was hurting in about fifty different places, courtesy of a couple of fights I'd gotten into that were a little harder than I'd thought they'd be. This wasn't the kind of condition I'd usually even dream of going home in, but I couldn't help it. I was done being alone. I needed Soda. I needed my brother.

As I stumbled through the front door, Darry got to his feet from off the couch quickly. "Motley."

I hadn't been expecting to run into him. I'd thought maybe he'd stayed overnight at Cealia's. It'd been too long since he'd got any action anyhow. Maybe that's why he was always so pissed.

And suddenly the floodgates broke.

"I waited for you!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "Why didn't you just tell me to my face that you hate me?! Why don't I mean anything to you anymore?!"

"Motley, that ain't it. I do love you-"

"LIAR!" I grabbed a vase off the shelf next to me and hurled it into the wall, watching in shatter into a million pieces.

Funny how seemingly meaningless objects can remind you so much of yourself.

Soda and Ponyboy had come to the end of the hallway and were watching me scream at Darry.

"Motley, please-"

"Is it her?! Is it that bitch?! Did she tell you you couldn't care about me anymore, is that it?! That there's only room for one of us in your life and you had to choose?! Huh, Darry?! Damn it, ANSWER ME!"

"I would if you'd just give me a chance." he said, trying really hard to stay calm. What he'd have to be anything but calm about was beyond me. What was his deal? "It slipped my mind. I forgot 'cause-"

"'Cause you were with her." I muttered, leaning back against the wall. All the fight went out of me like that, and suddenly, all I wanted to do was cry. "Fine. Whatever. I don't care anymore. As long as you're happy."

I turned and started to walk away, but he came forward and grabbed my arm. "Motley, please, just listen to me. I'm sorry. There's no excuse for what I've gone and done. But I am sorry."

I pulled my arm out of his grip. "Whatever."

"Motley, I'm just tryin' to help you."

"Why don't ya help Ponyboy for a change, huh? He lost somebody too. Why don't ya give him a hand? He could use it. I don't think I can take much more of your help."

He stared at me, stricken.

Point Motley.

I headed off back to my room and collapsed on my bed. What had I done to deserve this?

A second later, the door opened and Soda slid in. He came and flopped down on the bed next to me, both of us staring at the ceiling and enjoying each other's company, just like we used to. "Hey."

"Hey."

"Did you mean that? As long as you're happy?"

"I guess so. He deserves to be happy. He ain't been in so long, it really ain't fair in the end. He didn't wanna take care of us, but got stuck with it. The least I can do is get over hating his girl."

"Can't ya find somethin' to like about her?"

"Well, the broad's a ten, I'll give her that." I admitted grudgingly.

Soda started laughing. "Seriously?"

"Would it shock you to know that the first time I met her, before I knew who she was, I tried to pick her up?"

"Don't let Darry hear you say that. You know how touchy he's been about pickin' up girls since the socs said that's why they jumped Pony and Johnny."

I laughed a little. "He's always so uptight about the stupidest things."

"He's loosened up a little lately."

"A little, I guess. Wonder why that is?"

Soda started laughing harder. "'Cause he's finally gettin' some action."

We just sat there and laughed for the next ten minutes. Everything seemed so ridiculous all of a sudden.

See what I meant when I said I needed Soda? He made everything better. He could make anyone laugh. He fixed everything. Always.

And he was my twin.