Disclaimer: I still don't own Naruto or any of the characters involved with the anime/manga.
Warnings: This chapter contains references to sexual situations, language, use of tobacco in twelve-year-olds, violence, some blood, yaoi incest, OOC, and the canon is still getting stomped on. This chapter is long too, but the monster chapter is next (Twenty-three pages with a possible seven page lemon). There are also some errors in here that I didn't pick up (I need to work on my editing.)
Parinigs:ItaSasu, some SasuNaru, a little bit of NaruSaku, a tiny pinch of SasuSaku along with ItaSaku, and slight references to possible KakaIta.
Upon walking through the door, Sasuke saw Sakura fast asleep leaning on Kakashi's right arm. She looked as if she had been up all night. He moved closer to her sitting in the chair right beside her. There had to be something that went on, there was blood on her hands as well on Kakashi's sheets, even though it all looked dry something had to be wrong. Someone had been bleeding.
He touched her shoulder lightly as he looked down at her trying to put his fears to rest. Did Itachi go off and try to kill Kakashi? Why would be do something so reckless? Itachi wasn't thinking straight for the past few days, his own perception was starting to cloud with the hate for Kakashi. What the hell did you do to Itachi, Kakashi? Why does he hate you so much? What did you do?
"Sakura?" Sasuke breathed as he shook her lightly, hearing her sigh as she turned still asleep. I never realized how much she's meant to me. She was here the whole time I needed her even before Naruto had come to me. Everyday since I woke up she was right here. Why am I passing this up? He closed his eyes tightly seeing red eyes. I did it for Itachi, he's what I've always wanted, the last component of my past remaining.
She opened her green eyes. "Sasuke?" she asked quietly looking up at him.
"Hey," he stated with a smile. "You fell asleep…"
She looked up at him noticing all of the imperfections. His body looked like it had been pushed to the brink of exhaustion there were, dark marks along his neck, and his breathing heavy. He looked horrible, like he hadn't slept all night.
"It was a long night," Sakura answered looking into his onyx eyes. "I was up watching Kakashi-sensei. What were you doing?"
"I was just staying up with Naruto all night contemplating why I want to obtain my dream. The sooner Kakashi wakes up the sooner I get my answers," he looked straight at his unconscious sensei. "There are so many questions I want to ask him."
Sakura sighed as she looked out the window remembering Itachi's words. "He poisons the mind making you think that you're a ninja, he lied to Sasuke, he made him think that he could take me out. My brother had to learn the hard way what happens when I ninja gets into a tight situation, he never trained you did he?"
She thought about it, what was Kakashi trying to do to them? Was he really preparing them to be ninja or was he just trying to dilute them from the fact that there were enemies out there in the world? Itachi had told her of what Kakashi was capable of. Was it all true? Was Kakashi really the bastard that Itachi said he was?
"Answers?" Sakura sighed. "What do you need answers to?"
Sasuke looked over at her. "When they were fighting, he made it seem like he knew everything that Itachi was capable of. The words that they said to one another, they know more about each other than I thought."
The words ran through his head remembering everything about that day in the hospital room. "You're here for Sasuke? What are your intentions with him? Were you intending to continue what you did down by the river? Leave him out of this. This is between you and me."
But what got him was his brother's response: Kakashi was never satisfying.What does that mean? What did Kakashi do to him? What did that bastard do to Itachi? The words that Itachi said, the quality of his words whenever he mentioned Kakashi, it all lead to the worst. Kakashi had done something that made his life turn to hate and scorn. The look in Itachi's eyes as Kakashi walked through the hospital door was a sight that he would never forget. Itachi was scarred with a brand, a brand that Kakashi had cursed him with that lay right over his heart.
There's something that this bastard did to Itachi. Was he the reason why he… his mind broke those few days… he clung onto Shisui those nights where he would just sit around and stare. Was that because of Kakashi, or was it our father and that Goddamn clan? None of this is making any sense anymore, he clutched his stomach tightly. If he would just tell me… Itachi… what happened to you?
Sakura looked over at him. "Are you alright?"
"What?" he asked coming back to reality. "What do you mean?"
"You just seem a little quiet," she answered as she looked back down at Kakashi. "It was lonely last night without you or Naruto to keep me company. But you must have had a good time out there with Naruto," she smiled blankly as she looked back at him. "You seem pretty worn out…"
What does she mean? Does she think…? His eyes widened in shock. "We didn't… I mean…" a blush ran through this cheeks even if the subject didn't upset him. "I… didn't… do… that…" he took a deep breath. "I went home early; I had a lot on my mind. I was thinking about you for a few moments. I don't think I ever thanked you for being here when I needed you."
His hand moved to touch hers. "S-Sasuke?"
"Sakura," he breathed. "You've opened a part of my heart that I thought was gone forever. You're the only one who has ever made me feel truly needed. You were there even when I was at my worst points of life. You're the only one who could make me come back from the dead," he touched her face.
She felt his lips come closer to hers. Itachi made it seem like Sasuke was never going to have any sort of feeling for anyone. Itachi wasn't like his brother; he was actually caring when it came to her goals. Itachi said that she could be a great medical ninja if she wanted to be. It seemed like he actually cared for her. The way that he talked about life with her made her wonder if, was he really the psychotic rapist who almost killed Sasuke? How could a person that cared so much be the only person that Sasuke wanted to kill? He wasn't as stone cold she expected; in a way he was a lot more human than Sasuke.
"Sasuke," she breathed backing away. "I want to know how you really feel about your brother."
Sasuke closed his eyes tightly remembering last night. It felt to have someone inside of him. Itachi made all of the pain of the kekkei genkai go away, every problem that he was having dissolved right in his arms. How could she tell her how he felt now?
"I hate him," Sasuke answered quietly, he was lying to himself.
"Did you ever talk to him about it?" Sakura asked. "You don't know why he did it. You don't even know why you're still alive. He let you survive for a reason, and I know that your heart craves the answer that Itachi won't give you. You don't know why you're so fortunate."
"He hated me, Sakura," Sasuke answered. "Why else does someone slaughter their whole family? He never loved me single day in my life, all of the days that passed by when we were young was nothing but a lie," Sasuke looked out the window. I know the answers, Sakura; they just don't need to be said out loud. Itachi means more to me than this whole Goddamn village. Everything that this team has taught me is all a lie isn't it? All that Kakashi had said to me, was it even true?
The door opened again, another person walking in, both ninja looking over to see their comrade. Out of all of them, he looked the worst. His eyes seemed to be swollen with tears, his hand wrapped up in bandages. But what got Sasuke the most were the bruises that graced the young boy's neck so violently. All of the gagging sounds filled Sasuke's ears again as he remembered last night.
"Hey," the blond boy rasped. "How are you two?"
Sasuke stood up and quickly walked over to him. "Naruto? You shouldn't be up and about, you need your rest," he looked into blue eyes not seeing the traces of happiness that he had once held so dear to him heart. "Are you alright? It has to be freezing outside, and with that cough."
"You're the one with the perpetual cold," Naruto breathed before coughing closing his eyes tightly. "I just had a rough night…"
Sasuke shook his head as he mouthed the words his voice being robbed from him. "I'm sorry…"
Naruto placed a hand on his shoulder. "Don't stress about it, I'm alive aren't I?"
He walked over to join Sakura next to Kakashi's body. He looked somewhat distant, his blue eyes void of all emotion. After that one night he had gone from the fun loving ninja that he had become best friends with to a stone cold empty shell.
What the hell did I do to you? Sasuke asked as he watched the blond boy close his eyes wincing lightly. Last night, how much pain did I put him through? Did I really destroy him as much as I thought I did? All I remember is seeing his cold dying body feeling the blood run from my eyes. He took a breath looking out the window watching the first raindrop fall. Is this what power is? Is this what Shisui died to give to Itachi?
Naruto coughed lightly again.
"Do you have a cold too?" Sakura asked.
Naruto shook his head. "I had a small accident last night, I'm not feeling one hundred percent," he looked back at Sasuke sighing. Sasuke tried to kill him last night, the power of his hands were still around his neck as he swallowed hard, the look in his eyes as he told him why he had to do it. It all made Naruto's stomach bubble in pain.
Naruto closed his eyes tightly trying not to look at him. Was he just another step that Sasuke had to overcome to be able to face his brother in a full scale battle? He thought that they were friends; he would do anything for Sasuke. Placing a hand over his chest he felt the beating of his own heart. Sasuke didn't want to know that it still went strong never stopping for a second. Yet the look in his eyes afterward, it wasn't the same anger from before. He was the Sasuke that he knew the few days before it happened, the broken Sasuke.
Sakura stood up for a second. "I'm sensing some kind of tension here."
Naruto looked at her. "Tension?"
She nodded. "Ever since you came into the room you and Sasuke have barely broken eye contact. Why are you two looking at each other? Either you're both really pissed off or you've decided to put your differences behind you," she sighed. "Either way, I'm going out to get some fresh air. You two better get along."
"Fresh air?" Sasuke asked.
She nodded again. "I've been in this hospital room all night…"
Sasuke looked over at Naruto. "I have something I have to say to him anyway…" he moved down a chair to sit next to him touching his hand lightly. "Don't be too long… if someone attacks we don't want to be one man down."
Sakura walked out the door as Naruto swallowed audibly closing his eyes. "You don't have to talk to me today…"
"Naruto…" Sasuke started.
"No," Naruto shook his head standing up taking a few deep breaths. "Do you think I'm just going to me run back to you and pretend that we're friends again? My neck… I've never been in this much pain in my life. I was up all night coughing and vomiting trying to justify the real reason why you did it. What has Itachi done to you? Why are you all of a sudden taking more interest in me?"
Sasuke watched as Naruto looked out the window. "I'm sorry…"
"Liar," Naruto hissed.
"When Sasuke wakes up tell him I'm sorry for not being there for him. But when he does wake up, I don't want you to be too hard on him, nor do I want you to be too soft. He's going through a difficult time, he almost died. Just take his feelings into consideration."
"But will he be that same?"
"I thought that you were strong enough to get out of this delusional state of mind. You don't have to hurt people to get what you want, Sasuke," Naruto coughed lightly incoherently muttering a curse. "It hurts…"
"Maybe you should check into a room," Sasuke stood up walking toward him his body moving slowly as he looked back at Kakashi. "Or you should go home," tightly he wrapped his arms around Naruto's body touching his neck lightly. "Does it hurt when I touch it?"
Naruto let out a wince.
Sasuke ran his fingers along Naruto's Adam's apple feeling the muscles of his neck push it along the column as he swallowed again. The breaths seeping from Naruto's lips made it seem like it was even painful for him to swallow. Water ran down his face as he closed his eyes tighter letting out a series of small pants.
"That hurts, Sasuke," Naruto breathed turning around to look at him. "You don't understand what this feels like."
"You're trying your hardest not to choke after every breath, you're trying to cancel out the pain, but you can't. You're chest hurts all of the time, the fluid filling your lungs slowly. You want the pain to go away," Sasuke explained as he watched the rain fall. "Naruto… I know what it's like to be in pain. I know what it's like to drown with every breath."
Naruto closed his eyes tightly. "Sasuke… I…"
Sasuke shook his head as he straightened out his forehead protector. "Don't be sorry, you were right, I was out of line last night," he grasped the bandaged hand and, looking into his best friend's eyes. "I'm sorry for the last few days. I was being an ass."
Naruto closed his eyes in pain. "It's okay, I forgive you."
"Naruto," Sasuke breathed stroking Naruto's cheek. "I never wanted to…"
Moving forward, Naruto took Sasuke's body into a tight hug breathing lightly in his ear. The blond boy's body shook gently in Sasuke's arms as the embrace stiffened holding him closer his warmth circulating through his body.
"Sasuke," Naruto breathed resting his chin on Sasuke's shoulder hugging harder up against him. "It's okay," he kissed his best friend lightly on the cheek closing his eyes tightly moving closer until their chest were pressed firmly up against one another's.
Naruto moved his hand to take hold of Sasuke's chin pulling him closer to his lips as his breath became ragged. They lightly touched one another's lips, Sasuke let out a gasp as he felt Naruto's lips touch his. Last night he almost dies and now he wants to kiss him? There was little to no sense made out of this whole escapade.
"Naruto?" Sasuke asked shakily.
Naruto breathed. "It's okay…"
They moved closer to one another where they could feel the warm breath on their lips right when the door opened. "Hey you two," a voice called out, it was Shikamaru. "Are we interrupting?"
Sasuke gently pushed Naruto away from him, hearing the young boy squeal in shock. "What are you doing here?"
"We came to see how you were," Chouji explained standing next to Shikamaru. "We heard about what happened to Kakashi and Asuma-sensei thought we should come apologize for what happened."
Naruto stood next to Sasuke trying his hardest not to make eye contact with the other two boys. "So you know that he's probably never going to wake up. He must be stuck in some horrid moment in there; the doctors say that every now and then his pulse accelerates. Whatever Itachi did to him…"
Sasuke shook his head. "It wasn't all Itachi's fault. I could have done something to stop it as well. I could have jumped in at anytime. Kakashi was an idiot though; no one can beat my brother."
"Sasuke," Naruto consoled. "Someone's bound to beat him someday."
Shikamaru walked into the room looking straight at the ground. "That's what I wanted to talk with you about Sasuke. Could you and I step out of the room for a moment? It's regarding your brother."
Sasuke swallowed hard. What did you do now Itachi? He took a step forward as he nodded at the request. What was Shikamaru going to ask? Was there something that was going on with Asuma that Sasuke wasn't aware of? It must have been serious knowing that there had to be conversation between the two of them.
As they left the room Shikamaru closed the door before asking a question. "What does Itachi want here?"
Sasuke looked into the other boy's eyes. "What do you mean?"
"Come on, Uchiha," Shikamaru started as he let out a breath. "I'm asking because the business that he's been doing lately is troublesome and becoming a real pain in my ass. Last night I was talking with my sensei and he was talking about shame."
"Shame?" Sasuke asked looking down the hall.
Shikamaru nodded. "He told me that I should never let anyone shame me like he was. Gai took everything from him. He's the laughingstock of the village. No one is taking his seriously anymore. They all think he's a failure. That he won't amount to anything. That ass Gai…"
Sasuke scoffed. "Gai's an ass alright. What the hell did he do to Asuma?"
"He thinks he's a traitor to the village," the other ninja answered as he started to walk, Sasuke following him. "He told him that the only reason why Kakashi is in that hospital bed is because Asuma was weak."
Sasuke scoffed. "The only reason Kakashi's in that hospital bed is because he's an idiot. He knows what my brother is, he's not human when he fights, he never was. He mastered the kekkei genkai when he was eight. Did Kakashi think that was going to be easy? He unlocked the Goddamn mangekyou sharingan, that's almost impossible to beat unless put up against another of its kind," he walked slowly as they went toward the elevator pressing the button. "Asuma did nothing wrong, he used his brain."
"Tell that to the village," Shikamaru sighed as the door opened. "They're all laughing at him as we speak. Tell me, and if I'm being too harsh I'll stop, but on that night when your brother took everything from you what was he really after?"
There was a small silence as Sasuke walked into the elevator. "He wanted to see how much I could take…"
"But you don't think any less of yourself do you?" Shikamaru asked as he walked in next to him.
Sasuke shook his head. "Why? No matter what I think it's not going to make it go away. No matter what I'm always going to be living in that moment. It's not a moment that can be erased."
"He lost his virginity to his brother in a way nobody should lose their virginity. He feels touched and worthless, one a paper is ripped to shreds it can never be whole again, but with a little effort it can become something new, maybe even more perfect than before."
"But everything's alright now," Shikamaru stated. "Right?"
Sasuke nodded. "Yeah, I got my life back."
"But Itachi's still out there," the other genin sulked.
Sasuke looked into Shikamaru's eyes. He's really concerned about his sensei. Asuma must be a hell of a man to make everyone on his team care so much about him. He sighed as he watched the floor numbers flash. "Yeah."
Shikamaru sighed closing his eyes.
"What?" Sasuke asked as he looked over at him placing his hands into his pockets. "What's wrong?"
"It's a pain knowing that someone like that is roaming the village and everyone has different opinions. In order to save more lives, Asuma let Itachi go back out there. Kakashi was the only loss that we could afford," he leaned up against the wall looking at the top of the elevator. "There's something that tells me that it's deeper then we think. Ninja of that caliber don't come waltzing in when there's nothing to be had. Did he say anything to you?"
"All he said was for me to give up," Sasuke answered as the door opened. "But I don't think that's going to help you with your Asuma problem," he walked away as he heard a small chuckle from behind. "What?"
"This whole Itachi thing isn't really why I called you out here," Shikamaru stated as he walked out of the elevator. "Ino says that she saw you at the ramen shop with Naruto last night and that you two went home together. I saw the bruises on Naruto's neck, what exactly did you do to him?"
Sasuke swallowed hard. "What do you mean…?" Then it hit him. "We didn't…"
"It's okay if you did," Shikamaru answered with a grin. "I just wanted to know. What you do in bed with your best friend is none of my business. However, I can tell that something happened with you too. You're covered with hickeys and bite marks too. What the hell is going on?"
Turning around Sasuke looked Shikamaru square in the eye. "There's nothing to tell about what's going on. I've been in a lot of distress lately. Naruto was kind enough to help me let some of it out on him. He's a very good friend, enduring everything that I put him through."
Shikamaru sighed as he walked after Sasuke. "What did you put him through?"
"I've been moody," Sasuke smirked. "Really moody these last couple of days. I've also have a horrible cold, as you can probably tell. But I fear it's worse, last night I vomited countless times. He was there in the bathroom when I needed him."
"You're sick?" Shikamaru asked.
"I have been since the day Kakashi went down," Sasuke breathed looking back at him. "This pain is nothing though. If I can't take this how will I achieve a life as a ninja, a life to be proud of? There's no way that I could even consider giving in to this weakness. I'm not going to give up that easily."
There was a small silence again as Shikamaru rummaged through his pockets pulling out a pack of cigarettes. "Care for a smoke?"
"Where did you get those?" Sasuke asked, his eyes lighting up. "Are those cigarettes?"
"Asuma gave them to me," Shikamaru answered. "I think you should be around when I smoke my first one. You and I don't know each other well enough, Sasuke, I think this is the time where we start making ties," he extended his arm offering the cigarettes. "Want one?"
Sasuke swallowed hard as he looked at the pack. "Aren't they addicting?"
"We can share one," Shikamaru smiled as he looked into Sasuke's onyx eyes. "If you don't like it then at least you don't have to finish one. If you hate it then I'll finish it off, we don't want to ruin your pure body."
Sasuke smirked as he looked up at Shikamaru. "My body isn't pure; you know why it's not."
"You were raped," Shikamaru moved to the front door walking out into the pouring rain. "That isn't your fault, besides Sasuke, I think that's one impurity that we all can deal with."
Sasuke smiled as he followed him out into the rain feeling the first drops fall down on him. It was cold again, like it had been for the past month. Dark clouds circulated the sky with every step that he took into the outside world. The cold raindrops made him shiver with every drop.
"Where are you taking me?" Sasuke asked as he followed Shikamaru.
"I'm taking you away from that dreary hospital for one," he answered. "Sasuke, you were in there for far too long, you're starting to lose your mind in there. Sitting in bed for weeks can make anyone go insane."
"It wasn't that bad," Sasuke smiled as he ran a hand through his wet black hair. "There were times where all I could do was sleep, that's how I spent most of my time. They would drug me everyday to make me sleep for nine hours or more. So you see, there wasn't a lot of sitting back and doing nothing."
"Sitting back and doing nothing is my style," the other boy smiled looking back at him. "You seem a lot more down to earth these days; you're not acting so cool anymore. You dropped the damn emotional drama and for once it's not a pain to talk to you."
Sasuke smiled as he looked off into the distance. "Well… let's just say that my eyes have been opened through all of this pain," he looked back up at Shikamaru. "Your sensei let my brother go, why?"
Shikamaru stopped in his tracks. "What do you mean?"
"He let him go for a reason," Sasuke continued. "People don't let criminals go free without a reason to do so; your sensei had so justification to let him go. I've heard of his skills, he isn't one of The Protectors of the Hokage because he's weak. What was he trying to obtain?"
"Safety," Shikamaru answered, "he was trying his hardest to prevent casualties the best that he can. Itachi Uchiha was going to take more than one life in there. The way that Kakashi fell, he didn't want it to be continued with the rest of them. He was worried about you as well. Itachi…"
Sasuke wrapped his arms around himself shivering gently. "He wasn't hurting anyone before Kakashi came in; he was just trying to get closer to me. They all know that Itachi is here with a purpose," he coughed lightly. "Now where are you taking me?"
Shikamaru grabbed the other boy's hand. "It's a surprise," he dragged him along hearing the other boy laugh lightly. "Is Sasuke Uchiha laughing as in having fun? This is a first."
Sasuke smiled as he held on tighter to the other boy's hand. "Shikamaru, I do have a fun side you know. It's not all dark thoughts in my mind. I just need to get it out every once in a while," he closed his eyes. Since Itachi has come back, I feel as thought I'm finally at peace with myself. I can finally feel the happiness that I once held so dear to my heart. As long as he stays the way he is right now.
"The girls are right, you are a mystery," Shikamaru smirked, continuing to pull Sasuke along. "I like mysteries though, gives me something to figure out while the rest of my team is increasing Sakura's morale."
Sasuke closed his eyes, Sakura. She was taking this the hardest; she never expected this to happen. Sure, Naruto was taking slightly hard, but he truly thought that the rape was his fault. His team had been broken by all of his current actions. They were never going to be Team 7 again, and deep in his heart he knew he no longer belonged with them, if it was the only way to ease their pain.
Don't think like that, all of the goals that I once had are totally screwed up. Do I want to kill Itachi or not? Did I want to kill Naruto? Did I want to let Kakashi down? Did I ever want to make Sakura cry like that? Do I even know what you want out of life anymore? He closed his eyes as he thought about it, all of the goals that he once held so dear to his heart were gone. There was nothing left for him to feed off of in his soul. Maybe everything was going to turn out alright; he was going to make it through all of this.
-----
Sakura was walking down the hallway trying to stretch out her legs out; it had been a while since she was able to leave that room. She hated this place more than anything, now more than ever. She remembered walking past rooms hearing cries of woe, people were dying all around her, but the second that Sasuke was brought her unconscious and dying she knew that she was going to be one of those grieving people.
Sasuke had gotten better quicker than anyone expected, only his sheer willpower and resistance to delay made him do so. He was hurting himself to get out. He rushed all of the operations and started to walk sooner than the doctors said he should have. In his body he was harboring so much pain and he wasn't going to let them help him.
He repeated the same words, he was an avenger, but in his eyes Sakura saw something different, he was scared to kill Itachi, fearing that he might lose something that was close to him. She knew that there was something going on between the brothers, and though she hated to say it, the rape seemed almost merciful. Itachi could have killed him, crippled him forever, but he didn't. Sasuke was in one piece and no matter how much she thought about it, she was never going to figure out Itachi's reasoning for keeping it that way.
"Sakura," she heard a voice call out, she turned around to see Naruto walking toward her with an empty look on his face. "Are you alright?"
She turned to him. "I'm fine."
The blond boy nodded as he took a step forward. "You seem a little out of it, that's why I asked," he walked closer still. "Sakura, after all of this time in the hospital I think it's time I got something off of my chest."
She was confused as she looked back at him. "What?"
His eyes looked straight up at her. "I know you like Sasuke, I can see it every time that he looks at you and you look back at him. He likes you too, and through all of my studies while you two were in the hospital room together I realized that maybe I'm in the way."
Sakura raised an eyebrow. "In the way?"
"You belong together," Naruto stated. "And I think it's about time I clarified something, you know how I feel about you; you know that I've liked you for a while. There was a time where I thought that if I worked hard enough I would be able to be with you, but now that's no longer the case," a small tear fell down his cheek. "You can back in there and talk to Chouji and Ino, I'm going home."
"Naruto?" she asked walking closer to him. "What happened to you, you've changed. You're completely different than you were before. I liked you before all of this, before you couldn't even say Sasuke's name without tearing up. You've gone through a lot this past month, but you shouldn't take it out on yourself."
"I'm being realistic," he answered as he turned around facing away from her. "I'm going home now."
"Realistic?" she asked, closing her eyes. "Naruto, you told me that everything was going to be alright in the beginning of this. You have the kind of personality that makes me feel happy. When Sasuke used to call me a bother and annoying, you were right there to try to make me feel like I was worth something again. Naruto, I liked the old you."
Naruto scoffed as he walked away. "That's too bad."
"Why are you acting like this? As soon as Sasuke becomes nicer, you're a distant jerk, why are you two acting like this? You never look at me the same way that you did before that night. You always were so sweet to me, and only a few weeks ago you were trying to cheer me up," she whimpered. "Are you going to hurt yourself?"
Naruto turned to her. "I know that Itachi's after me."
"My brother said that his organization has an interest in you and out of stupidity I thought that the only way to save you from that dark fate was to kill you and obtain the power that I needed."
"Naruto?" Sakura asked. "He wants you? What for?"
"I'm the nine-tails," Naruto sighed as he looked over at her with broken blue eyes. "I'm nothing more to anyone else but that monster. I thought that maybe Sasuke would understand and to my surprise he does. He's trying to protect me from that dark fate, and I respect him for that, but… I can't live like this Sakura."
"People care," her voice was close to a sob.
"People push me away because I'm different. I know I'm an abomination, I know that I'm nothing more than just a monster and it was a miracle that I've gone this far acting like a human, but I can't lie anymore, I'm not like Sasuke, I'm not human. Everything that I am is because of the fox, without it I'm nothing," Naruto sighed turning around again. "I'm leaving." After taking two steps he heard her call out to him.
"What happened last night?" she asked. "What are those bruises on your neck, Naruto? Sasuke looks pretty beat up too. What did you two do to each other last night? Did you get into a fight?"
"No, we didn't get into a fight," Naruto answered continuing to walk. "I'm leaving, Sakura, I'll see you tomorrow."
She grabbed his arm. "What are you trying to do to yourself?"
"What are you trying to imply?" he asked. "You think I'm going to hurt myself? If I decide to do something to my body Sakura it's none of your business."
"Are you that jealous?" she argued. "Are you upset that Sasuke kissed me, Naruto? If so you're not the same Naruto that I know. You never seemed to have a problem with me being with Sasuke before. Why are you acting like this all of a sudden?"
Naruto sniffled as he fought tears. "Because… I'm losing everything that I thought was important to me, I've already lost my best friend. You're the last thing that I have left, but then again there's a difference between you and Sasuke. I love you, Sakura, but I'm going to let you go, no matter how hard it is."
"Naruto?" she asked grabbing his arm tighter. "I'm…"
The door to Kakashi's room opened as they heard a voice call out. "Looks like you two are having a fight. Are you two having a lover's quarrel?"
Sakura turned to the door letting go of Naruto's arm. "Ino, we aren't fighting. I was just talking to Naruto, there's nothing going on here. We're discussing the fate of our team."
Naruto scoffed. "I'm out of here."
He walked away sending chills down Sakura's spine. That wasn't Naruto. Did he get sick of waiting and he decided that he could live without her? He was always persistent, kept on fighting for her trying to be better than Sasuke to impress her, but she never paid attention. She always found him annoying, yet as he walked away she knew that there was something wrong.
"Naruto," she whispered, a tear running down her cheek.
Ino looked over at her. "That was cold."
"What do you mean?" Sakura asked.
Ino sighed. "Do you know what it feels like, Sakura? To be pursuing someone fighting with a person that you know that you will never beat. And then when they win you still want to be with the person, but they find you annoying and a waste of time. It hurts every time you walk out of the room and every time you see them together. It's not a little pain; it's a deep searing pain that cuts like a knife right through the heart."
Sakura looked over at her with sympathetic green eyes. "Sasuke? Is that what you're talking about?"
"Sakura, you know that I'm happy for you, it's great that you won, but then again you never know if you do win. All I'm saying is I know how that boy feels walking away from you right now. He's a good kid, he's funny and he's a shoulder to cry on. He helped Sasuke though his troubles and look at him now, he's smiling, laughing, he's become a nicer person because of it."
Sakura closed her eyes. "But then when I look at Naruto I know that I could never be with someone like that. He's just so free-spirited and full of life. He was never the type to sit around and mope not until the day when we say Sasuke's body. He's still living with the guilt everyday. I know that he's going to break, there's no stopping him now, and even though it pains me I know that he's not strong enough to take all of this pain. He carries the nine tailed fox in his body."
Ino looked back at her to see Chouji still in the doorway. "Asuma was right, they are in pain."
Chouji nodded, looking over at Sakura. "I just didn't think Naruto was going to take it the hardest out of the three. I mean did you see the look in his eyes Ino, he's definitely got some sort of anger in his body."
Sakura looked in the trail of where Naruto walked and realized that there was something wrong with him. He was taking it harder than usual, was he really going to keep blaming what happened to Sasuke on him no matter how many times people said it wasn't his fault. Sasuke had come to grips with it and it opened his eyes to live life better than he ever had before. But even when Sasuke and Naruto were together and the guilt could finally be gone he still felt guilty. She had never seen Naruto hug anyone so much in her life, nor did she ever see Sasuke hug back. They were becoming better friends everyday.
"But on the bright side, I think Naruto might be developing a crush on Sasuke," Chouji smiled. "They were kissing when I came into the room."
Sakura looked back at him. "Kissing? What do you mean kissing?"
"As in their lips were touching and they had that look in their eyes," Chouji continued. "I knew there was something going on with them when Ino said she saw them walking home together from the ramen shop."
"They didn't do anything," Sakura continued as she looked straight down the hall. "Naruto would never do that."
"I saw what I saw," Ino continued. "I saw them having a good time at the ramen shop and then they walked home so close. It was so cute watching Sasuke smile like that."
Sakura closed her eyes as she looked away from the other two thinking about all that her team had been through. Ever since Itachi raped Sasuke there was nothing but absolute pain in her life. Sasuke was either coming to grips with life benig more precious or he was covering up his fear. In the meantime Naruto was trying to cope with the guilt of what was going on with Sasuke. She was left behind once again forced to watch their backs as they kept going forward. She was only a person in the background to help pick up the pieces as they crumbled apart.
The job seemed easy enough, but still she failed. She had let the two of them destroy their lives. The bruises on Naruto's neck, the look of guilt deep in Sasuke's eyes as he looked upon the marks, they weren't adding up. What exactly happened last night that they weren't telling her? What were they up to?
-----
"I win again, Sasuke," Shikamaru sighed. "You suck at this game."
Sasuke looked down at the shogi board and then back up at Shikamaru. "That's the fourth time you've beaten me. You're really taking the fun out of this game. Can't you let me win?"
"Are you going to stomp your feet and whine if you don't get your way?" Shikamaru chuckled digging around in his pockets. "I think it's about time we got you to relax," he pulled out the pack of cigarettes. "I've decided that you're problem is that you care too much about what you think about yourself. You need to loosen up and go after what you want and give up this whole I'm going to kill you spiel."
Sasuke sighed as he glanced at the pack of cigarettes. "Is that really what you think?"
"That you're a spoiled brat that only cares bout himself?" Shikamaru asked.
Sasuke moved to grab a cigarette. I was only that cold because I thought that was the only way to beat Itachi at his own game. But I was let down when I found out my brother isn't perfect, he has human emotions. I wasted all of these years being alone, but I obtained the power that I needed. I need answer to my questions.
"But you've been a lot nicer lately," Shikamaru smirked.
"I know," Sasuke breathed rolling the cigarette through his fingers looking at the white cylinder. "I've always been nice, Shikamaru, I just don't like people who are going to get in my way. You aren't that kind of guy, I have no real emotional attachment to you." he placed the cylinder in his lips. "Got a light?"
"You look weird like that," Shikamaru laughed as he looked at the cigarette situated between Sasuke's lips. He reached into his pocket and pulled out Asuma's lighter lighting it quickly. "I don't know why he gave me these, he's acting like he's going to die, but Itachi said that no one was going to get hurt," he watched the smoke rise from the cigarettes. "Itachi's a man of his word."
Closing his eyes Sasuke took the first drag, what he heard all the smokers describe as a pleasure only tasted horrible to him. It tasted like ash, his eyes watering violently as he took in the smoke. The second that he felt the smoke see into his lungs he took the cigarette out of his mouth and coughed.
"I knew people like you don't smoke," Shikamaru smiled as he pulled the cigarette out of Sasuke's fingers placing it into his own lips. "I knew that good ninja never smoke, there must be a principle against impurities."
"I don't have all of the principles memorized," Sasuke shook his head as he looked down at the shogi board. "There are a lot of principles I've probably broken beyond repair. I know there's a principle against vulgar language, and you know how much I curse."
"I don't think that's a bad thing," Shikamaru answered with a grin. "Come on, Sasuke, you were the best ninja in our class, everything was so easy to you. You made all of us look like idiots. You still do every single day. When the doctors said you should be in the hospital for months you get out in twenty days. When a normal person should have died with that much blood loss, you made us all look like idiots yet again because you're still here. Besides, I hear you and Naruto are getting to be better friends," he took a breath. "I saw him kissing you."
"Oh," Sasuke sighed. "You mean recently? I was caught in the moment, and Naruto's my best friend, he doesn't judge me because of these strange impulses. I was his first kiss after all, I think I was the giver of all of the kisses he's ever had. If he ever pushed me away during these days I'd back off, I know he's gone through a lot of pain. Ever since the day when I was taken to the hospital he was the only one who was taking it this hard. It's hard to notice but if you look closely, he's been losing weight over the matter."
Shikamaru sighed. "Ever since Itachi's returned we've all been so different."
"Naruto's been acting really strange, I don't like it," Sasuke sighed as he looked at Shikamaru who was smoking the cigarette watching the boy's eyes water. "I know that I've broken him, he's never been like this before. It was because what I did last night."
"What did you do?" Shikamaru questioned.
Sasuke looked up into Shikamaru's eyes. "I think he was upset because I tried to go home with him. You know what he thought was going to be going on between us. He thought that I was going to pressure him into something that he wasn't ready for."
"Did you?" Shikamaru asked.
"No!" Sasuke rebutted. "I could never do that to him. That's a step that I can't take with him. The path that I walk in a dangerous one and the last thing that I need is for him to get involved in this. Naruto's too close to me, and I'm not going to allow myself to sit back and let them get hurt because I was an idiot. I'm not going to let him die for my cause."
"That's noble," the other genin answered as he looked into Sasuke's eyes. "Did you hear about the thunderstorm tonight? It should be a huge one. They say people could die by being outside so the last thing that I want to do is keep you here and not let you go home before the storm."
Sasuke closed his eyes, a thunderstorm. He never really was able to get over those without Itachi by his side. All of these years he was trying to kill him and everyday that the weather was less than satisfactory. He cursed himself for being an idiot, he no longer wanted to kill him. Spilling Itachi's blood lost its appeal everyday that went by, the need for his survival becoming more and more important.
He had become precious to him to the point where he felt he would put his life at risk if anything were to try to harm him. Nothing was going to take him away, even if Sasuke had to destroy them to obtain new goals. How long could he keep all of this a secret? They would never be able to understand why he did it. Why would he do such a crime? He was aiding an S-class criminal and for once in his life he didn't care what people thought of him.
"I think I should be going," Sasuke smiled. "Thank you, Shikamaru."
"Any time, I might need more answers about your brother, I hope you don't mind if I ask you more questions," Shikamaru answered. "I'm curious to what he wants to do in the village."
Sasuke nodded. "I know you are and you'll get your answers, just give me time to figure out what he's doing here. If I find anything I'll try my hardest to tell you what's going on."
He walked toward the door thanking the heavens that he wasn't asked about the various love bites that were on his neck or the fact that he smelled of jasmine. Kakashi was still out cold, he was the only one who would have any clue to what the smell meant. He was the one who pointed the smell out that day. How did he know so much about Itachi? Did they meet up in the past?
As he walked out into the rain he tried to think about what his sensei did to his brother. Did Kakashi physically destroy him that badly? What happened while Itachi was on all of those missions? So many questions he had that could have led up to what he was going through, questions that he knew deep in his heart deserved Kakashis or Itachi's answers.
Life has been so hard lately, why is all of this happening now? All of these years I've been so closed to the world around me, but now that my eyes are open, I want to close them again. It was so much easier when we hated each other, Itachi; it was easier before that night. He walked through the rain storm on his way back home stopping for a few seconds looking up at the sky. I don't know what to blame anymore. I guess I can't blame anyone but myself, I was the one who returned your feelings. I never thought that you were going to genuinely feel that way. He wrapped his arms around himself gently. "Damn, it's cold."
He kept walking on to his house thinking about all that he had obtained and all that he had lost. He got what he always wanted; he finally was able to get hold of Itachi's attention. But was it worth the loss of those who were close to him?
Thoughts of cold blue eyes filled his mind as he stopped again a warm pain pooling in his stomach. Naruto was the one he was most concerned about, he was starting to die already. He caught on to the way that Sasuke was feeling, knowing that he had to die because of the fox that was sealed inside of his body. Sasuke had never seen Naruto like this. He was so cold.
If he did know, then why hadn't he said anything? Why not be more direct? There had to be countless people who caught on to the incestuous relationship by now, Sasuke made it obvious, he'd been walking around with hickeys for a while now and every time he was with his brother he would get a new one. Naruto had looked at them with suspicion, but he never made anything of it. He was being too nice to Sasuke. He was being too supportive of all of his decisions. It was strange.
Naruto, Sasuke sighed walking a little farther off into the rainy distance. After what happened, I'm not going to let anyone destroy you; I'll protect you with my life.
-----
A strange sound filled his ears as he reached the house walking by his bedroom door, the sound of metal sharpening. Itachi was still here. It made him ecstatic; the times with his brother were the times where he could block everything out. Even after all of the times where Sasuke messed up, Itachi never looked at him like he was a failure, he was there to support him.
The sounds made him uneasy; there were only a few times where Itachi would sharpen weapons, usually only when danger was around the corner. What's going on? Every single day when they parted their ways, Itachi would always find some way to get into trouble. What was the reason for today being so intense?
His hands moved to the door opening it slowly seeing his brother kneeling on the ground looking at a recently sharpened blade. The kunai sat gently in his hand as he reached to put another into his holster. He didn't even notice that Sasuke was behind him as he continued doing his work.
"You look busy," Sasuke smiled as he heard his brother gasp.
"Sasuke?" Itachi asked turning around to see him in the doorway. "You're back sooner than I thought you would be. I thought you'd be out all night."
"I don't trust you on your own," Sasuke smirked. "You've never been the type to be trusted. Look what happened to our trustworthy clan, you killed every last one of them. The last thing I want is to think that you can leave again when I fuck up."
"Leave?" Itachi asked, as he took another kunai. "Why the hell would I leave? Since you didn't kill the fox I have to make sure the organization doesn't. Besides, do you really want me to leave?" He placed the kunai in the holster. "I thought that you would want me to stay by your side through this. Your friend's life is on the line and you need someone strong to take care of him, that's why I'm here."
"You're here to protect me?" Sasuke scoffed. "No thanks."
Itachi laughed as he turned to his younger brother. "Cocky as ever, aren't you? It's true that your skills have improved, but you still let emotions get in the way of everything. But that's not necessarily a bad thing," he shrugged with a chuckle, "there are times where even I feel as though my emotions get in the way."
He walked to the door passing Sasuke by. "I don't get it."
Itachi turned to him, his eyes filling with a sense of confusion. "What do you mean you don't get it? What's bothering you about this plan? I know that you find some components a little extreme, but…"
"That's not it," Sasuke answered clenching his fists. "I don't get how any of this is working out, how you and I could get together. You know I should hate you, but I can't hate you no matter how much I try. The way that you took this plan, that night when you raped me…"
"Don't talk about that," Itachi muttered with a hiss.
"Why? Are you feeling guilty?" Sasuke asked looking back at him. "Are you finally feeling some guilt in your life? I know that if I died that day you would feel guilt, you wouldn't be able to live with yourself. I know that if anything had happened to me you would never forgive yourself. Even if you say it's out of character, I know it's how you feel. Why else would you keep me alive?"
Itachi stood silently in front of the door not looking at the young boy who was behind him. The room was silent except for the sound of the rain outside, the storm thickening with every second that went by. The silence got to Sasuke as he watched a hand fall to Itachi's side accompanied by a sigh.
"Cruel as usual," he breathed as he turned around, his face still void of all emotion. "You think that you have it all figured out don't you? Nothing fazes me, Sasuke, I'm a ninja."
"Stop being a ninja!" Sasuke yelled angrily. "Stop being a ninja for one second and listen to what I have to say. Be my brother again, Itachi, you don't have to set anymore examples. Father's not going to come back to push either of us."
Itachi turned fully to him. "What do you mean?"
Sasuke curled his fist tighter as he looked into his brother's eyes. "You never answer my questions? You think you can fuck me and expect me to do everything that you say? I'm not a doormat, and I'm not a pushover. I have mind of my own and I want answers to my question. Do you feel any guilt?"
Itachi looked straight into his younger brother's eyes. "Why are you looking for a weakness?"
"I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, Itachi," Sasuke breathed biting at his lip. "Itachi, I've been searching the memories, searching my heart for all of the memories of you. If you love me then you would feel guilt for that night."
Itachi scoffed. "You're out of line…"
Before Itachi could even focus, a pain went through his body as his face was hit, blood trailing from his nose. The look on Sasuke's face as his hit the flesh was filled with hate, all of the hate from the past years coming to the surface once again. Did he enjoy watching Itachi bleed? The force pushed Itachi to slam against the door a small wince leaving his lips accompanied with more crimson.
"Don't fuck with me," Sasuke smirked as he walked to his brother's bleeding body kneeling down next to him. He looked into his eyes as he moved closer. "You can't try to control me, Itachi, not until you tell me you answer me."
Itachi ran a bloody hand through Sasuke's hair. "Cruel as always, you little brat," he pushed the back of the young boy's head pulling him closer into a passionate kiss, his blood running down Sasuke's face.
Sasuke returned the kiss wrapping his arms around Itachi's waist pulling him in closer. The rougher that they were with each other the more passion that would seep through, Sasuke found this out not too long ago. The way that Itachi was kissing his lips, his tongue messaging the insides of his mouth, it made him want more.
"You always have to hit me," Itachi breathed as he looked into Sasuke's eyes backing away. "Your answers will come soon enough, Sasuke, don't worry. But for now, it's not your concern. I don't want to give myself away."
The first roll of thunder filled the sky as they held each other, Sasuke's body starting to give out on him. He clutched onto Itachi's body closer resting his head up against his chest.
"Shhh," Itachi breathed as he wrapped his own arms around the young boy.
"You're still going to comfort me after all I did?" Sasuke asked raising a curious eyebrow. There is no way that he didn't feel guilty that night; I can tell by the way he's holding me that he's glad I survived that encounter. Itachi, why are you doing all of this for me? You know you don't have to.
"I'm not one who takes it out on a person who didn't make a harsh attack. You know that you weren't trying to cripple me emotionally with that; you were just speaking out of hatred. You have a short temper," Itachi pulled him closer as he picked him up moving to grab his robe in his other hand. "I'm going to show you that it's not going to hurt you."
The door opened as the wind blew into the room. They were going out into the storm. Rain poured over the edge the roof falling to the ground. It was so dark out there, the lightening lighting up the sky as his brother pulled him out closer into the night. The cool air was brushing gently up against his face his body pushing closer to steal the heat of his body.
"Itachi?" Sasuke asked shivering holding onto the fishnet of his sleeves. "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to help you get over your fear," Itachi said gently. "You can hang onto me if you want," he grasped the young boy's hand as he went further out into the darkness of the night. His hand wasn't going to let go of him, the tight grip ensuring that he was going to be safe.
Sasuke looked out into the storm as he held onto Itachi tighter whimpering almost silently. Even though the lightning and the rolls of thunder struck fear into his heart he knew Itachi wasn't going to let him suffer. This was another trial by fire, but unlike their father, he would pull Sasuke out before he got burned beyond repair.
"See it's not so bad," Itachi breathed holding Sasuke tighter. "Nothing about it is going to hurt you."
Sasuke moved closer to Itachi's heart listening to the beating echo in his ears. As long as he heard the sound of Itachi's heart he knew that the lightning wouldn't hurt him. His brother had made a vow to not let anything happen to him no matter what.
"Itachi," Sasuke breathed. "Is this another test?"
"I have to test you, don't I?" Itachi asked holding the young ninja closer. "The more you say that you're ready, the more that I understand that the life of ninja is more than just a game. I don't know what the academy told you, but this isn't a game, it's a struggle. As you saw first hand in the hospital room, the life of a ninja isn't a solid one and there's no guarantee that you'll come out of a fight with your life."
A hand ran through Sasuke's hair, a moan seeping past the boy's lips. Was a thunderstorm really that bad? There were times where he remembered doing more than just whimpering clinging to his brother, there were more embarrassing times. His parents never knew he had a bed wetting problem, Sasuke never told them, he told Itachi. He was the only one who cared for him. Throughout his childhood he never remembered anyone who cared that much.
"It's beautiful," Sasuke breathed, holding onto the sleeve tighter looking up into his brother's eyes. "But it's still terrifying; do you know what that could do?"
"Paranoia is going to be your downfall," Itachi breathed as he pulled Sasuke closer to his body looking off into the distance. "I told you that nothing is going to hurt you as long as I'm alive, you're never going to go through that much pain if I'm around to help you live your life."
Sasuke closed his eyes moving closer, kissing lightly at Itachi's chest. "That's bullshit, Itachi and you know it."
"Only if you want it to be," Itachi answered moving to lean up against the wall falling to the ground gently hearing the young boy gasp. "If you think it's all a lie then it can't be helped. All I know is that I'm not going to leave here knowing that they could win this battle. I won't lose, I refuse."
Sasuke moved into Itachi's kiss stroking his face lightly. Throughout the whole day Sasuke had to mask everything, trying not to let anyone know that he was coming home to sleep with his brother almost every night. The feelings that had so long been hidden throughout the day came out suddenly as he was with Itachi, the raw passion that was suppressed for all of these years spilling rapidly.
"I love you," Sasuke panted as he backed away from the kiss his heart racing in his chest as the spell of fatigue took over. He was starting to lose all focus on the moment, all of the sleepless nights finally coming back to haunt him.
"I love you too," Itachi answered placing the robe to cover Sasuke's shivering body. "You need your rest; your health is already at risk."
Sasuke closed his eyes tighter, the second that he fell asleep; there would be no telling what Itachi would do. He had already sworn to make Kakashi pay for interfering. Or it could be worse yet; he could try to go after Naruto to finish the job that Sasuke couldn't do. He wouldn't do that, he wouldn't hurt him that badly after he told him not to touch him.
As he felt the power of his fatigue become heavier as he relished in the heat of the robe, his hand moved to touch Itachi's as he feel even further. Itachi wasn't going to hurt anyone, Sasuke knew that. He trusted him to do the right thing.
Author's Note: I think I should take this time to claify some things. I am aware that everything is too easy for Itachi, but the story is going to het more difficult for him starting next chapter that's going to speed tihs process up. As for the lemon last chapter I'm debating whether to put it up or not (it's kind of dirty.) The next chapter, the monster, also has a lemon, I'm also not sure if I want to put this on either because it too is dirty.
This chapter was kind of filler, I know, but it was necessary to build how Team 7 is looking at each other and how their relationships are changing. So what did you think? Good? Bad? Did I talk too much at the end? Honesty is good.
Next chapter a mysterious man shows up and another ninja gets wounded.