And lo! An 11th chapter is born!

Hope you enjoy! And remember: REEEVIEWWWW!

"Alright! Time to bust into a ranch uninvited!" Lloyd cheered.
"Don't announce that." Kratos complained.

But unfortunately, there were a lot of enemies wandering aimlessly around the ranch. There were, like, four or something.

"I don't think our usual method of running in and slicing everyone to ribbons is going to work this time." stated Raine, "We need to think of a plan."

"I know!" declared Lloyd, "What if we run over to them, right, and I start hitting them with my sword? Genis can cast spells from the back, Sheena can hit people with cards, Colette can...uh, fall on them, Kratos can do whatever it is Kratos does, and you can heal any injuries!"

"THAT'S WHAT WE USUALLY DO, IDIOT." Kratos growled at him. "Fighting blindly isn't going to work! We need a strategy!"

"Why don't we ambush them and steal their outfits?" suggested Genis, "Like they do in cheap cop movies!"

"Well, it's not like anybody else is going to come up with anything better." grumbled Kratos.

And so, the group lay in wait for the blue Desians, then proceeded to 'ambush' them. Only, it was basically just them running off the side of the path towards them, THEN DOING WHAT LLOYD JUST SAID. Spooky, huh?

"Well, now we just need to decide who is going to wear them." stated Raine, much later on, in the ruins of Luin.

"Oh, me, me!" cried Lloyd, "I'm really excited about the idea of dressing up like a bondage slut that has pyromania!"

"That won't work, you moron." sighed Raine, really wishing that somebody would just muzzle Lloyd, "These are women's uniforms."

Lloyd looked disappointed.

"How come you have a Desian costume anyway, Sheena?" Genis asked Sheena after she and Raine got changed. What they did to those Spearmen (Spearwomen?) I don't know. I mean, that's pretty much their whole costume right there. We can only hope that Desians don't go commando.

"Oh, I don't know." Sheena shrugged. "Crack is one hell of a drug."

"What?"

"I was going to infiltrate the ranch by myself." Sheena corrected herself.

"ANYWAY. The rest of you will have to be prisoners." interrupted Raine, "Colette and Lloyd are wanted criminals anyway."

"Yay! I'm wanted!" giggled Colette.

"But-" protested Lloyd.

"You are NOT wearing a girl's uniform, and that's final!" Kratos snapped at him.

So, the group went backtracking off to the Asgard Ranch. Though, as a sudden thought, why is it called the Asgard Ranch when nobody in Asgard usually mentions the Desians, whereas Luin gets literally owned by the ranch? Calling it the Luin ranch would have made a lot more sense...

Anyhow:

"We've done it!" cried Raine, to a nearby Desian.

"Done what?" the Desian replied, confused, "Did you finally figure out how to do that damn Rubix Cube?"

"What? No, um, we captured the Wanted criminals. See?"

"Oh. Go on in." the Desian sighed. "Oh, and Lord Kvar rocks and stuff."

Once inside, Sheena and Raine somehow got out of their costumes without too much of a hassle. Maybe the Desians have some really well-placed zippers in their outfit, who knows?

"Well, that was kind of easy." remarked Genis. "Didn't they find it weird that one of their 'prisoners' is a twelve-year-old and one is a mercenary?"

"Nobody ever said Desians were smart." answered Sheena, yawning.

"Yeah, they think I look like that stupid Wanted posted!" chipped in Lloyd, "And I totally don't have a red moustache!"

"I HEAR VOICES!" Colette suddenly squealed.

Everybody else was spared from replying to this, because just then Botta and his two clones came running in.

"You!" shouted Lloyd, dramatically, "You're the Desians we met in Triet!"

"Oh, my god." sighed one of the clones, "Like, how totally stupid is this guy? I mean, seriously, yeah?"

"Hey!" protested Lloyd, ignoring the random valley girl accent I just gave a clone.

"Are you looking for a fight?" drawled Kratos, sounding like one of those loner tough-guy cowboys from those irritating black-and-white films that everybody quotes all the time.

"Wait. Kratos is with them." Botta said, as if his clones had bothered moving at all.

"Do you two know each other?" Lloyd demanded, the obvious question finally hitting home.

"I suppose. If you mean the fact we met them in Iselia and Triet."

"But, didn't Botta mention your name in Iselia as well?" Colette suddenly piped up, remembering the incident in front of the Martel Temple. She was ignored.

"PLOTHO-!" cried Plothole girl, because seriously, they aren't that dense.

"Go away, it's not a Plothole." Kratos told her. Plothole girl pouted.

"Fine. NEVERMIND!"

"I don't think we should fight here." Botta cut over Colette and Plothole girl, because apparently he's that scared of Kratos. Kratos just shrugged, looking all suave and purple. Botta and his minions then ran off to the door, just as some Sorcerer's entered. Why they didn't bother to stop them is a mystery.

"ZOMGSHEILD!" Colette gasped, as some puny little fireballs hit a big crackly shield Kratos summoned up at the last second.

"Colette! Kratos!" Lloyd yelled, dramatically.

"I'm okay!" Colette trilled.

"No time for that, he's behind you!" Kratos yelled, equally as dramatic.

Kratos got the title of 'Pantomime man!'

Just then, a guy with a serious thing for hair gel and over-sized shoulder pads came gliding in.

"Well, this is a surprise." remarked ???, "When I heard we had some rats, I assumed it was the Renegade Botta, but instead I find the wanted band of idiots. But I must say that I'm surprised you survived that attack."

"...You're surprised we survived a fireball?" repeated Sheena, incredulously.

"Who're YOU?" Lloyd demanded rudely.

"You barge into MY ranch and then demand MY name?" Kvar replied, annoyed.
"Well I'm hardly going to ask you for my name, am I?" answered Lloyd. Genis, Sheena, Kratos and Raine all slapped their foreheads in frustration.

"He's Kvar." sighed Kratos, having to explain everything to Lloyd in bite-size chunks was after all quite tiring. "One of the five Grand Cardinals."

"Ahaha. It seems some of you know me." Kvar said, who found that funny for some reason. "And it's just like One-Eye said! That exsphere is without a doubt the result of my Angulus project!"

Colette, who didn't want Kvar touching her man-candy, then threw her Frisbee at him, who skated out of the way.

"Good job, Colette!" Lloyd congratulated, which was a stupid thing to say. I mean, she threw a Frisbee. It's not like Lloyd couldn't have just used a Demon Fang on him or something.

The group ran off through the door, and Martel knows what the hell Kvar was doing rather then following right after them. I mean, all Colette did was throw a Frisbee.

So...do you know what that makes it?

"PLOTHOLE 10!" screamed Plothole girl, popping up.

"Not other inferior being." sighed Kvar, catching up. "Who are you?"
"I am Plothole girl!" announced Plothole girl, leaping out of nowhere in a blur of neon. "I go wherever there's a Plothole. Kind of like how Raine appears anywhere when there's a ruin. Anyway, bye!"

"Um, anyway." Lloyd began, awkwardly, "What is that thing?"

He pointed up at what looked like a big-ass conveyer belt, where a bunch of people dressed in sacks were just standing around, like, 'Oh, yeah, we're getting stuffed into these giant capsules, but let's just stay here and go along for the ride'.

"This is where the exsphere's are attached to the host bodies." Kvar explained briskly, "Human ranches are exsphere manufacturing plants."

Everyone stared.

"Do you mean that exsphere's a made from...human bodies?" asked Raine, which is the most retarded thing I've ever heard her say. I mean, what kind of question is that? How do you expect to get power from an orb with a DEAD BODY squished inside it?

"Not exactly. Exsphere's are dormant at first. They steal nourishment from the humans. Why else would we spend our time raising up these inferior beings?"

Wow, Kvar would make a great tour-guide.

"That's terrible!" cried Genis, stating the obvious.

Genis gained the title of, 'Idiot Prodigy! Wait, that's an oxymoron! AAH!'

"Yes it is. Now give me your exsphere, Lloyd!" demanded Kvar. Like Lloyd would just say, 'Yeah, okay then.'

"What is it with Desians and my exsphere?" complained Lloyd.

"It was supposed to be an offering to Lord Yggdrasill." answered Kvar, because apparently Yggy likes his bling, "It's time you gave it back."

"Yggdrasill...I suppose that's the name of your leader." said Raine.
"No, it's the name of your mom." said Lloyd, annoyed. Raine slapped him.

"It's time I reclaimed what was stolen by that filthy female host body!" cried Kvar, noticing Lloyd's confused look. "Hmm, you don't know anything, do you? Host body A012, human name, Anna. Your mother."

Lloyd got pissed by this point.

"YOU KILLED MY-"

"No, your father did. When her exsphere was removed from her key-crestless body, she transformed into a cucumber-monster, and your father killed her. Pathetic, don't you think?"

"De mortuis aut bene aut nihil!" Kratos cried.

Everybody stared at him.

"Um, what?" Lloyd asked him, blinking. Kratos cleared his throat.

"I mean, do not speak ill of the dead!"

"I'll handle this!" Sheena announced, stepping forwards. She looked down at the card she was holding. "I'm gonna use the last one, Grandpa."
"Grandpa?" said Kvar.

Then this badass-looking bird thing popped up and the group got the hell out of there. Being a ninja has its advantages.

"They disappeared!" cried a Desian.

"It's magic!" cried another Desian. The other Desians promptly stabbed him in the stomach. A lot.

"Anyway, your orders, sir?"

Kvar shook his head.
"Let them go. We can find them anytime by following the Chosen-shaped holes in random walls. But for now, find the Renegades!"

"PLOTHOLE 11!" added Plothole girl, appearing once again.

"What is it this time?" Kvar sighed.

"If you were looking for the Renegades that badly, you would have stopped them when they ran past you! HA!"

And lo, it was time for another RANDOM CAMPSITE SCENE!

"I can't believe exsphere's are made from human lives." commented Sheena, staring at her neon blue hand.

"This is Marble's life." added Genis.

"ARRGH! THIS...THING!" Lloyd raged, overcome with a helluva melodramatic angst moment just then.

"Lloyd, no!" Colette cried, as Lloyd made as if to drop his exsphere into the fire, "What will you accomplish by taking that off? Why not take off your shirt instead?"

"These things make a mockery of human life!" protested Lloyd.

"Yes, but we would have lost a long time ago had we not had them." rebutted Kratos, "Well, not me, obviously, but all of you. Anyway, we should instead do something to break this tragic cycle. So stop angsting already."

"People are sinful beings." added Raine, melancholic. "We must continue to bear the burden of our sins as long as we continue to live."

"Hey, I can take off my exsphere without removing my glove!" Lloyd suddenly cried, pleased with himself, "Exsphere on, exsphere off, exsphere on, exsphere off-"

"Stop. Now."

The next morning, Colette was folding away the pop-up campsite and stowing it Martel knows where, when Lloyd decided to carry on fighting and stop being such a drama-queen.

"What are we going to do now?" questioned Genis. "Kvar's probably hired some bodyguards by now or something."

"I think we should go to Hima." asserted Sheena, "Remember how Luin got busting for hiding escapers? The guy, Pietro, lives in Hima. Maybe he can tell us a way back in."

"I like pie." Lloyd grinned.

"Not PIE. PIETRO." Sheena sighed, exasperated.

"Oh."

"Don't you guys get tired of that?" asked the Summoner, indicating Lloyd.

"We just try to block it out." Raine assured Sheena, "You get used to him...after a while."

"Kind of like how Lloyd's got used to your breasts." added Genis. Raine slapped him. Colette grew bored of this conversation, and decided to go and chase a squirrel, but she forgot that squirrels can run up trees and hit her head.

"Well, let's go to Hima!" giggled Colette, looking only mildly concussed. "And go find the Pie man!"

"Idiots." muttered Kratos, massaging his temples, "I am surrounded by idiots."