Fake Baby
"The teen pregnancy rate has been sky rocketing for the last two years and as your head teacher I need to make you understand the consequences when you have se..s-sex." Principal Figgin's stuttered in front of a giggling student body. "Mrs Kuruthers is here to tell you more." Figgin's retreated.
"Morning McKinley," She waited for the chorus of morning that never came, sighing audibly she continued, "it's nice to see so many smiling faces on a Monday morning." Scowling students peered back at her questioningly.
"Get on with it!" A familiar voice called out.
"Santana Lopez, see me after assembly." Figgin's demanded angrily.
"As I was saying," Kuruther's continued, "This week will be the designated health studies week with a new focus on teen pregnancy, you will be assigned a partner." A murmur of dissent rippled around the hall.
"I am not FINISHED!" Kuruther's screamed down the microphone, effectively silencing her audience.
"If you are a couple you will be paired together if not your partner will be assigned from a hat in your form rooms after this assembly, that is all." She finished tersely.
Slowly the students of McKinley began to file out of the double doors at either end of the room, grumbling about health studies week and their prospective partners.
"Yay we'll be together." Brittany cheered kissing her frowning girlfriend on the cheek.
"Not if Figgin's kills her first." Quinn joked.
Brittany frowned worriedly, "He's gonna kill you?" She stared at the brunette.
Shaking her head Santana replied, "No B I'm just gonna get chewed out a little."
"I'm the only one allowed to eat you out." The blonde said furiously.
"She's just gonna get told off B." Quinn said through her laughter.
"Oh why didn't you just tell me?" Brittany stared disbelievingly at her stunned girlfriend.
"Sorry B, I was... joking?" Santana said looking more confused by the second, "I gotta go see Figgin's." She said kissing Brittany lightly before squeezing a pale hand a walking off.
"Why do you mess with her so much?" Quinn said genuinely curious.
"It's funny to see badass San look all cute and confused, I always make it up to her later." Brittany said winking at Quinn making the other blonde laugh out loud. The two headed into their form room still giggling madly at the other impression of Santana's confused face.
"What do you reckon this teen pregnancy thing will invol...?" Quinn suddenly ceased all sound and movement as they walked in the door and took in their surroundings, their jaws on the floor.
"Babies." Brittany breathed putting her arm around Quinn.
Looking up at the taller blonde Quinn's eyes became misty with tears; Brittany smiled rubbing her shoulder comfortingly.
"Maybe they won't make you do it?" Brittany shrugged with a small smile.
"Let's hope so." Quinn rasped just as the teacher made her way over to them.
"Quinn I've talked to the Principal about your participation and he says you can sit this one out if you agree to counsel a sophomore who is in the same situation you were." Their teacher told an open mouthed Quinn.
Shaking the fog out of her brain Quinn opened her mouth to try and speak. She felt bad that someone was going through what she did but at the same time...
"I really don't think I'm the right person for that..." She trailed off as the older woman shook her head vigorously.
"Quinn you are a mature young adult who dealt amazingly well with a situation people twenty years older find difficult, Amy would greatly benefit from your unique insight." Teach said convincingly.
"How far along is she?" Quinn asked thoughtfully.
"Six months, no going back." Tech shook her head tiredly, "She's scared Quinn."
"Alright I'll try my best." Quinn nodded determinedly.
"Thank you, Amy's in the nurse's office her blood pressure was a little low and she felt dizzy this morning." Teach informed a now concerned Quinn who turned and stormed from the classroom.
"Brilliant idea of Santana's." Teach nodded to Brittany, "Speaking of, where is Santana?" She asked.
"Principals Figgin's again." The blonde told her proudly. "Not getting eaten out." She added watching her teacher's eyes widen comically.
"Ooookay, well I'll hand everyone else's babies out and leave yours 'til she's here." Teach told Brittany as she ran off to the front of the room.
Twenty minute and fifteen new parents later Santana walked into the nearly empty classroom performing a perfectly executed double take, as she spotted her girlfriend holding what looked to be a tiny human.
"Hi San, come meet Mylo." Brittany said brightly as Santana walked tentatively over.
"Um what the actual fuck B?" Santana asked irritably.
"Mylo is ours for the next week, all the seniors have one." The blonde replied rocking the child slowly.
"We're lesbians we can't even have kids." Santana balked at the mere idea.
However the second she finished the angry sentence the regret poured in as blue eyes welled up.
"Hey hey what's wrong?" Santana dived to Brittany's side, wrapping an arm around her girlfriend's shoulders.
"I want kids." Brittany sniffled turned her tear filled puppy eyes on her unsuspecting girlfriend, who melted instantly.
"And we can have them; there are loads of options for us in the future." Santana said softly, rubbing up and down Brittany's back.
"You promise?" Brittany frowned holding out a pinkie finger, keeping the baby in her left arm.
"Pinky swear." The brunette nodded thankful for the crisis aversion.
"Isn't Mylo cute." Brittany stated more than questioned.
Santana looked at the matt plastic face of the fake baby in Brittany's arms. "Not the first word that comes to mind." She muttered darkly, thinking of how much trouble this was going to be.
Brittany frowned at her girlfriend warningly. Seeing that she was about to be cut off for the week Santana looked at the baby, struggling to think of a way out of the mess.
"Becaaause beautiful is the very first word that comes to mind." She tried and was relieved to find a smile on Brittany's face when she looked up.
"Nice save." The blonde let Santana off the hook but her eyes clearly said 'don't do that again.'
"Thanks." Santana breathed an inward sigh of relief. "So anyway how does this whole baby thing work?"
"I'm glad you asked that Santana." Their teacher said as she waved off the last couple. "This is all very exciting." She clapped eagerly.
Santana did her own sarcastic clap as she stood up from her position kneeling beside Brittany and sat on one of the spare desks.
"You will have to take care of baby Mylo for a week, you have a baby pack consisting of a bottle, a dummy, changes of clothes and of course spare nappies." Santana's eyes went wide.
"You mean?" She didn't dare finish her question.
"Yes the baby goes number one and two as well as the occasional throw up and of course burping." The teacher said gleefully, all Santana saw was a sadist out to ruin her life.
"Well this is gonna suck." She said matter of factly.
"That's the idea." Teach nodded.
All of a sudden Mylo emitted the loudest wail Santana had ever heard.
"Aaaah." Brittany screamed at the sudden noise her arms flailed wildly and Mylo dropped like a stone.
As if watching the fall in slow motion Santana dived to the floor catching Mylo just before he impacted.
"Sorry." Brittany shrugged apologetically.
"That's okay." Teach shouted over the still wailing baby. "He's just hungry."
"Great just fucking great." Santana mumbled under the sound of the cries. Grabbing the blue holdall in front of Brittany, ripping it open and scooping out the bottle on the very top. She was unconsciously rocking the bundle in her arms the entire time before she stuck the bottle in its frozen mouth and silenced the cries.
Brittany smiled proudly at her grumpy girlfriend wondering why she was finding all the baby stuff so hot.
"You're good." The teacher announced happily as she turned and made her way out of the room just as the bell for first rang out in the halls.
"I'll take him to my maths class." Brittany said happily, leaving no room for argument as she snatched Mylo out of Santana's arms and loaded him haphazardly into the baby carrier.
The Latina winced as she watched her girlfriend jostle the baby around like he was one of her childhood dolls. She followed after Brittany with their school bags wondering how long it would be before Brittany got bored of the new toy. Her bet was on halfway through first.
Turned out Santana was only a little bit right, Brittany did palm Mylo off on her at lunch. However the blonde wasn't bored simply frustrated with how the baby interfered with her concentration every two seconds.
The blonde practically ranted at her shocked partner for over five minutes concerning the strain Mylo had put on her for the first half of the day.
Unfortunately for Santana it seemed Mylo was a fussy baby as were all the seniors' babies. For the next two days their classes were filled with wails, burps and cries as the students desperately tried to prevent someone from dropping the plastic nuisance off a roof.
Brittany had been helping but only until she had some other activity that required her urgent attention such as an impromptu dance session or sleeping. Santana was left to grumpily pick up the slack; she did almost every task through the first two nights and was nearly half asleep on the third day.
Mrs Pierce had noticed Santana had been the only one to really be doing anything and had attempted to question her daughter about it numerous times. On that fateful third evening she couldn't help but speak up.
Santana snored softly next to her full plate of food while a well rested Brittany ate eagerly beside her. Mrs Pierce watched calmly as Mylo stirred and cried out, the young Latina didn't even budge from her dreams. Then Mrs Pierce watched horrified as her daughter reached out and shook her girlfriend awake before looking pointedly at the plastic baby in the corner.
"Can't you do it?" Santana asked sleepily her head still on the table.
"But San I keep dropping him, he doesn't like me." Brittany whined unhappily.
With a huge sigh Mrs Pierce looked on as Santana hefted herself over to Mylo, sweeping him into her arms and moving into another room with a spare nappy shushing him as she went. Grimacing she turned to her daughter who was now picking off Santana's plate.
"Brittany Pierce is that really how you're treating Santana?" Mrs Pierce asked outraged when Brittany just shrugged.
"Mylo's annoying and San's good at shutting him up." The younger Pierce said easily.
"He may be annoying but your girlfriend looks like she's about to collapse from exhaustion and you don't seem to care as long as you don't have to do anything." Mrs Pierce said on the verge of true fury at her daughter's cavalier attitude.
Thinking back hard over the last two days Brittany realised how much she had neglected to help Santana. At that moment the girl in question strolled back into the room slowly lowing a sleeping Mylo into his carrier and moving to sit back at the table.
Brittany took in her girlfriend's dark circles, pale skin and sluggish movement and instantly felt like the worst person in the world. Leaping out of her seat she crushed Santana in a bear hug mumbling her apologies into her girlfriend's ear.
"I'm so so sorry, I didn't mean to make you do everything I promise to be better from now on."
Santana looked up at her when she finally pulled back with tired and hurt eyes.
"Why did it take you so long to realise?" Santana questioned her tone hurt.
"I'm sorry I thought Mylo was easy when you had him." Brittany said.
"Well he's not I just tried harder, stuck with it like you do when a hard dance isn't quite right." Santana told a sheepish Brittany.
"I know and I'm so sorry." Brittany cried.
"It's okay as long as I can have some sleep I'm happy." Santana said gratefully standing up to embrace her now teary girlfriend.
The girls hugged until Santana's stomach rumbled loudly. From then on Brittany basically did whatever Santana asked her to do relating to the baby, she'd learned that Mylo had different cries for different things and had quickly learnt to handle him.
At school they shared responsibilities and for the next two nights Brittany did almost all of the feeds and changes much to Santana's relief.
They even cuddled together like a little family with Mylo on Santana's lap as she lay in-between Brittany's legs watching a movie. Eventually they learned to like helping each other with him. The rest of the Glee club, including those without babies, watched as Brittany and Santana moulded into this caring power couple.
They were frequent make out sessions in full view of the school as one or the other thanked their girlfriend for taking care of their baby for an hour or so.
Even Mr Schue complimented them on how they seemed to know exactly what to do if Mylo started crying. Unlike Puck and Lauren who damn near killed their child before Santana stepped in. It was clear to the entire world how good Santana and Brittany would be as mothers in the future.
It wasn't until the last day of the challenge that Santana walked into Glee to be greeted with a familiar wailing sound and a crowd gathered around Brittany.
"What's going on?" Santana said as she fought her way to the centre of the crowd, gasping aloud at what she found.
"I just wanted him to look like you." Brittany explained dropping her head guiltily.
In the carrier on Brittany's lap was a bright orange baby.
"So you gave him a spray tan?" Santana asked incredulously.
"Sorry." Brittany apologised and Santana could see that she was sincere.
"Well, although it clearly went wrong, the fact that you wanted him to look like me makes it kind of sweet." Santana admitted hesitantly, she took the seat next to Brittany and kissed her cheek looking down at the now tangoed baby.
The end of the day came and the seniors eagerly handed back their bundles of horror as quickly as they could before escaping for some much needed rest.
"I miss him." Brittany said sadly as they lay panting on Santana's underused bed their naked bodies shiny with sweat.
"Hmm me too but now we can do this again without a baby cock blocking me." Santana replied.
She leaned over and pulled Brittany into a passionate kiss restarting what they'd just finished.
Hey guys hope you had good weekends, this was a prompt which I loved but took in a different direction than intended.
I didn't exactly take a day off yesterday, I was kinda waiting for one hundred reviews so whoever gives me that one hundreth review can have Santana hugs for life.
Pretty please with puppy dog eyes review and show me the love, the response will of course be quick updates for all, thank you :-)