Huge thanks goes out to all the wonderful girls who have helped us with this story from the start: EdwardsFirstKiss, AWayWithWords, and LaPumuckl..
Just want to say we appreciate your patience and support, thank you for sticking with us.
See you at the bottom.
What Do You Want From Me
Chapter 11
I arrive at the Chief's house and see that his patrol car is still in the driveway. I knock lightly on the door.
"Morning, Edward," he says as he opens the door. "She's in the kitchen," he carries on as he indicates that I should come in.
"How is her hip?" I ask in a low voice not wanting her to hear me.
"Still in a little pain, but it's more in her back now," he sighs. "She's insisting on going to school …" he trails off as if he's in thought.
"I can drive her if that's any help?" I ask knowing that she normally walks to school in the morning.
He looks at me frowning a little.
"I … just thought since we're going to the same place—" I stop my stutter as he just looks at me.
"No, sorry, Edward. If you don't mind, that would be a big help."
I give him a nod.
"Just head on in to the kitchen. Could you try to make sure she keeps things light … she can be such a stubborn girl. She doesn't like to show people that she's in pain, thinking they will see it as a weakness."
I nod at him and look toward the kitchen feeling that I can understand her not wanting to show weakness to people.
"Let me know when she's at school?"
I nod at him and start to walk to the kitchen. I only stop for a second when I hear the door close.
"Morning," I say from the door, making her look my way.
"Morning. I would've texted you back last night, but I knew you were sound asleep, and didn't see the point when I woke up this morning knowing you would be here soon."
"That's okay. How are you feeling?" I ask.
She sighs before looking at me. "I'm fine."
I give her a nod and a small smile.
"Are you up for some self-defense training with a little kickboxing mixed in?"
Her whole face lights up as she nods at me.
"Then we need to set some ground rules."
"Like?"
"Well, the most important rule is no lying, or holding back."
Bella frowns at me so I move closer to her.
"I need to know if you are at your limit. Be it hurting, in pain, or if I am making you uncomfortable."
"You don't," she says right away.
I swallow and feel a little strange over the fact she just told me that I don't make her feel uncomfortable.
"There may be times that I do. You could be ill, feeling down, sad, and I could touch you and you're not comfortable with it. You have to tell me, so that I know when to stop, and pull back."
Bella nods at me and I clear my throat.
"You have to trust me and let me guide you. If I don't think you are ready for a move or kick, then you're not and you have to listen."
Bella again nods at me.
"And, we are done when I say we are. If I feel you are holding something back from me, we will stop and end training for the day."
"Okay, I can do that."
I raise my brow at her. "How are you really feeling today?"
Bella looks down at the ground. "My hip is a little sore, but not as much as yesterday. However, I do have pain in my back."
I shakily use my hand to move her chin so that I am able to see her face.
"There is nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to being in pain," I tell her softly. "It takes a bigger person to admit that they are in pain than to stay quiet."
"My left leg is shorter than my right," she whispers with a frown. "Maybe it would be best just to show you."
She slips out of her running shoes and I look down to see that her right foot is flat on the ground but she is standing on the ball of her left foot.
"Can I touch you … on your hips?" I ask without looking up.
"Yes," she says.
I place my hands on her hips, moving around to her back, seeing that her hips are level.
"I am just moving your hair so that I can feel your back."
"Your hair is so long," I mutter as I move her hair so that it's over her shoulder.
Using my fingers, I move down her spine, feeling that it is straight.
"Is it sore here?" I ask when I get to the base of her spine, and she nods a little.
"I think we should stick to showing you a few stances and stretches, and then I can put some pain cream on your back … do you use cream?"
"Yes. Frank had Carlisle prescribe me some. Frank is my physical therapist."
I give her a small nod and move around to face her.
She swallows. "I have some weakness in my left shoulder. I was sta ... cut there."
The pain in her words seems to cut straight to my heart.
"Okay, we can work around that, too."
Bella looks at me and closes her eyes as she mutters under her breath. When her eyes open she looks a little sad.
"Did my dad tell you what happened to my mom?"
I let out a soft breath. I can hear the hope in her voice, but I just told her to be honest with me … which she has so I can't take away from that by being dishonest.
"He did … I asked him."
Bella shakes her head.
"Look, Bella, you've been through something terrible, but that doesn't mean that I will take pity on you. I see you differently than when we first started to talk."
Bella just looks at me.
"What I saw … Mrs. Cheney." I stop … taking a slow breath to push her image back out of my head. "That image is embedded in my mind. I will never forget it. In addition, what I went through during the trial and afterward in prison. It changed me, but I would hate to think people felt sorry for me." I stop and chuckle a little. "Most would write me off as a woman beater. I know what it would make me feel like to have someone treat me differently, so I will not do that to you. I will not treat you like you're going to break … that's not me and I know it's not you either." I clear my throat and move on. "I learned to fight at a young age. Aro, my cell mate, helped improve my skills when I was in prison. I know it's important to make sure that you're empowering the person you're teaching. Showing them skills to fight is only a part of it, making them believe that they have a chance to protect themself is another."
She gives me a small nod, but I can see in her eyes that she knows I mean what I said.
"Let's get started," I tell her.
"Don't you want to go for your run?"
"No, I am okay for now," I say as I motion to her back door.
Bella puts back on her running shoes and meets me there.
"Your dad said you carry?" I ask pulling my hair.
"When I am out shopping or running, yes." She smiles a little. "I'm not allowed to carry in school because there are no firearms allowed on school grounds, unless it is law enforcement."
I give her a small nod. "Can I see it?"
Bella moves around me and back into the house. She comes out a few minutes later with her gun.
I raise my eyebrow at her when I see she has taken the clip out.
"What?" she asks and I show her the gun handle.
"Clip?"
"Oh, my dad would freak out if he knew I handed over a loaded gun to anyone. He's very strict on gun rules. This type of a gun," she says pointing at it, "is for protection. He taught me to aim for the knee cap and hands, or shoulder. Then he shoots a rifle or shotgun for hunting," she says with a pout making me chuckle at her.
"You don't like hunting?"
She shakes her head. "No, the poor animals."
"Didn't you eat a steak for your birthday dinner?"
"Yes, but not an entire cow," Bella huffs. "Besides that, I didn't kill it. I don't mind hunting for food, but I don't go hunting for sport. Sure my dad goes fishing, but we eat the fish, and when he catches enough he stops." She shakes her head a little. "I just don't like it when people kill for no reason, and then be proud of it. Like: 'look I killed this lion, isn't it great'? "No, you just made them a little closer to extinction," Bella sighs. "Moving on … there are only a few guns that Charlie thinks should be sold and they are used for that activity. He also thinks everyone should have to take a written test the same as getting a license to drive a car. Lastly, you should never hand over a loaded gun to someone that a - you don't know if they have had training, or b - someone who is not allowed a gun for whatever reason."
I give her a nod. "So you carry this whenever you go out, apart from school?"
"Yes … mostly. I always used to have it when I was running, or when I was out alone, but if someone is with me … like you are when we run, I don't take it."
"Why?"
"Normally, people don't try to kidnap people when someone else is there … besides that, I know you would help me, right?"
I swallow. In a roundabout way she just said she thinks I would protect her, and I would, but it's strange to hear it just the same.
"I would. Would you use the gun on someone?"
Bella nods at me, but I don't fully trust her.
"Bella?" I say questioningly.
"Wouldn't it be easier just to hand over the money?" she asks.
"Maybe; however, they may not just be after money," I state.
"I know, and I hope that I never have that happen again—" she stops and closes her eyes. "But … if that were to happen, if they were to hurt me, you … someone I was with then …" she gulps, "Yes, I would. I would do anything to protect you, them, and myself."
I can see in her eyes the 'like I should have done the last time,' and I give the top of her arm a squeeze knowing that she doesn't want to talk about it.
"Put the gun away and I'll show you some stances, stretches, and moves."
When she walks back into the house, I let out a soft sigh, hating to see the guilt that's clear in her eyes.
She walks back out and we walk deeper into the yard.
"First rule is not to look like a victim. Make sure you always know where you are, and be aware of your surroundings. If you are approached, be ready to take your stance quickly. Have a hand on your gun. If it's clear he or she is meaning you harm, then bring it out keeping your stance."
I show her what I mean and she mimics me.
"I know this is easier said than done, but don't show them that you are scared, stay firm."
She nods at me.
"Pretend you have the gun in your hand."
She holds out her hands and I stand in front of her.
"Don't back away from someone, because they could be backing you into a corner. If he moves give a warning shot to show you know what you are doing and aren't afraid to shoot."
I cover my hands over hers. "Keep them more than arm's length from you, so that it is harder to take away your weapon, or grab at it."
She looks like she knows this all too well and I swallow the hurt I feel for her needing to know this.
"Okay, drop your hands," I say so we can move on.
"If he grabs you from behind, before you can get your gun, or if you don't have it, then you'll need to fight. That means hitting him hard, and being vocal to draw as much attention as you can to yourself."
"Yeah, Dad said to shout fire, or something other than help. It's a sad place we live in that most people will think it's domestic abuse, so I'll stay out of it and ignore it. He said they call it 'the bystander's effect.' I still don't understand why people don't make sure others are okay or seem so callous of the welfare of someone asking for help."
"Sadly, on the flip side, people have yelled at people to mind their own business when they have checked," I point out.
"Rock and hard place," she mutters as she looks up at me.
"Just goes to show how many people have been trained to not care."
She nods at me.
"If he were to grab your wrist," I say as I take hold of hers. "How would you get out of it?"
Bella tries to pry my hand off, but I just use the grip to pull her into a bear hug.
"Not like that, then," she huffs.
"Grab my wrist, use some strength," I tell her.
She takes hold of my wrist using a good grip and within seconds I have gotten out of her hand.
"What?" Bella mutters looking at me up at me from the lock I have her in.
"I'll take you step by step," I say.
I slowly take her through the movements, and after she does it three times, she is able to do it without me prompting her.
"Would that really work?" she quizzes me. "It's just that you are not really trying to stop my movements."
"We'll work up to me adding strength to the hold, and believe me, I will not be holding back in a few weeks. But you have to know this, it needs to be as easy and as familiar as riding a bike."
"You clearly have never seen me ride a bike."
I raise my brow at her.
"It's hard," she mutters making me chuckle softly.
"It's not funny, I was not that bad before my mom died, but …" she sighs looking down at her legs. "Now I just can't seem to get the rhythm right."
I stroke her arm a little as I stop laughing. "I'm sorry for laughing," I say making her roll her eyes at me. "I would say I would help you, but if I was going to teach you anything else it would be driving."
She groans. "I am not overly bad, until it's time to take the test and then I crash the stupid car. The first time wasn't my fault, but the next ones … well, I just kept worrying about crashing and it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy."
I give her a look while shaking my head.
"If you taught me how to drive a car, I could teach you how to cook, even up the stakes a little," she states.
I tilt my head at her. "That sounds like a deal."
Bella just looks at me and I shrug.
"I had to cook for my mom, but that was putting pre-made food in the oven or microwave. I would love to be able to cook myself a meal. Maybe even cook a meal for everyone, and give Esme a day off."
Bella grins at me. "Shake on it?"
I take her hand in mine and we shake.
"I am going to head home and get changed. I'll be back within an hour to pick you up."
"Huh?" Bella says looking at me.
"May as well start learning to drive today," I smile with a wink.
Before she can argue, I run off.
It doesn't take me long until I'm back outside Bella's home.
"Ready?" I ask opening the door for her.
"If I crash, it's your fault," she states with a huff.
"You won't," I reply with a roll of my eyes.
I help her into the car, close her door and walk around to the other side. Once we have our seat belts on I look at her.
"Stop overthinking things, and start the truck."
She starts the truck and slowly takes off.
The drive to school went a lot slower than what I thought it would. I could tell Bella wasn't that bad of a driver. She only panicked when other cars were moving around close to us. She pulls into the lot and smoothly parks the truck.
"That wasn't too bad," I tell her with a smile.
"That's because the roads were quiet," she sasses making me chuckle as I text the Chief to tell him we're at school.
"Are you texting my dad?" Bella asks her voice sounds so natural that I don't think before answering.
"Yeah."
"He asked you to take me to school?" Bella asks, sounding upset which makes me look at her.
"No, I offered, and—" I stop giving her a lopsided grin. "Be happy you got to drive my truck."
She just rolls her eyes at me as we walk into the school.
"Hey now, don't roll your eyes or you won't get to drive us tomorrow."
Bella opens her mouth but I put my hand over it.
"Go and have a coffee with Mary, I have work to do."
I drop my hand quickly walking away with a grin on my face. I look over my shoulder to see that she is doing what I said, making my grin to become even bigger.
~WDYWFM~
Bella walks into my office and sits on the sofa making me turn and look at her.
"Do you mind if I sit in here?" she asks.
"Don't you have a class right now?"
"Gym; Dad called and said I wasn't allowed in gym for the rest of the week. The library is filled with the history class and the music room is being used," she says biting her lip.
"This was you third choice?" I mutter back acting offended.
She just narrows her eyes at me. "It is my third favorite place in Forks, but my first in the school."
"The cabin, your room, and Esme's come before here?"
She nods with a smile.
"The cabin is my first place. That's because we are the only people who go there; it's the most peaceful place, and magical. My room is also magical but even with Esme and Carlisle just being downstairs it can be lonely. At the cabin I have you …" She trails off with a chuckle but I understand what she's saying and I have to agree.
Our meadow and cabin have both become two of my favorite places, too. They're nice and I agree with her about them being peaceful. My room at Esme's is great, too, but it makes me feel as if I am alone at times. Although, my mind is able to run freely when I'm alone with nothing to distract me from the dark thoughts.
"Would you like a coffee?" I ask and she nods.
"That sounds good," she hums.
I move to grab the pot from the coffee maker.
"Got anything stronger to put in it?"
I stop what I am doing and just look at her, but she smiles broadly chuckling softly.
"I'm just kidding."
"Good, that would be my one way ticket back to hell," I say.
"No, it wouldn't; my Dad wouldn't let you go back to jail for something like that."
"What do you take?" I ask her.
"Two sugars, and a little creamer please."
Nodding at her, I pour her a cup and add sugar and creamer.
"So what would be my ticket back to hell?" I ask her as I hand her the cup of coffee.
She hums a little. "Not sure. But I know he has your back, and that he will fight for you. He's good at what he does, and believes that sometimes people need to have a strong talking to rather than a push into jail or prison."
"Talking isn't always enough," I argue knowing that sometimes people with the right amount of money are let off for far more than they should be.
"Okay, maybe I should say that when someone is on a small wavy borderline, if you deal with it then, and not let it snowball out of their control, it's better than just to let them ride the wave."
"Is that what you believe?" I ask taking a drink of my own cup.
Bella hums again. "Not sure, I know we're living in a crazy world that seems to be filled with so much pain and death," she says looking away from me. "Not everyone can get help, nor does everyone think others need it. I just wished there was a better way … a way to know if someone really belonged in jail, or if they just need help to get out of the hard life they are living." She stops and looks at me sadly. "Then innocent people like you wouldn't need to spend even a second incarcerated."
"In a perfect world," I say.
"Yeah, it would be, but I don't think we'll ever get there," she sighs.
I shake my head at her. "We're a long way from it," I agree, looking at the CCTV to see the halls are still quiet.
"My Dad believes that we shouldn't aim for the world to be perfect but settle on our how we treat others, and how they treat us," she stops and smiles. "He's one of those people that think if you can make someone's day better then that's something to be proud of."
"He sounds like he's a good Dad."
Bella's face lights up.
"He is. He's always been there for me, and he knows how to balance work and home life well. I know I am very lucky to have him," Bella clears her throat.
"What was your dad like?"
I just look at her, as I contemplate whether to talk about him or not.
"I'm sorry," she says.
I shake my head at her.
"No, it's okay. It's just that he just left," I stop shaking my head. "I thought my parents were great, and in love. We didn't have loads of money but we got by. We never worried about money and I had what I needed. Then my mom became sick. At first he was there. Helping her, but … it wasn't long after she received the diagnosis that it was incurable … and he just left."
I stop and hold back my want to yell. I feel Bella's hand in mine making me look at her.
"He didn't even say goodbye – he just left us like he was going to the shop for something. When the hours passed she called to report him missing, but they said it was too early; that it had to be a longer period of time. My mom kept waiting for him to come back. When three days passed, we received a letter from him saying he couldn't cope and that he was sorry. No 'I love you', just nothing. They were married for years and he gave her nothing."
I snort.
"A year later he sent divorce papers with no return address, just a post office box." I stop and clear my throat. "The worries about money started around then. I was a teenage boy and I had to help my mom with everything. I was helping her shower, get dressed, use the toilet … all the things no mother wants to ask her child, much less a teenage boy. I went to school and then home to help her. When money became too tight, I had to get a part-time job, but no matter what I did, nothing helped."
"That was a lot to deal with. Has he ever come back?"
I shake my head at her. "I don't even know if he knows she's dead, or that I was in prison," I snort again. "I don't think he cares."
"Would you talk to him again, if he showed up?"
I shake my head a little but stop. "I think I would hit him, not for leaving me, but for hurting her. She loved him, and still did right up until the end."
Bella just takes my hand in hers.
I turn my hand around and we interlock our fingers. We don't talk for a few minutes but I am grateful for her just being here.
"Can you help me prank my dad?" she asks.
I tilt my head a little thankful for the change in topic.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"Prank him, please, no one manages to get him, and how epic would it be for his daughter to be the one that gets him?"
"I think the Giant would be more help to you than me," I tell her.
Bella shakes her head at me. "He tries and fails every year, with the rest of them. Please?" she pleads with me.
"I don't think I'll be any help. I've never pranked anyone before," I confess.
"Neither have I," she says and bites her lip as she stares at me still pleading.
"If he arrests anyone then it should be you. I'll tell him you led me astray," I joke as I come around to the idea.
She nods as she moves in to me and gives me a hug.
"Thank you, Edward, you won't regret it," she whispers against my ear.
I hug her back feeling her warmth.
"I am sure I will, but I have a feeling I am going to enjoy the ride. Do you have anything in mind?" I ask after she pulls back.
She shakes her head. "No, I don't want a prank that involves him thinking someone is hurt, that's cruel."
I nod agreeing with her.
"We have some time to give it thought," I clear my throat and smile. "I am helping the Elf cast the play, got any advice for me?"
"Love many, trust a few. Always paddle your own canoe," she giggles making me roll my eyes at her.
"This is big for me. I was never in any school plays, nor was I even considered to play a role. I've also never been asked to judge another person's ability or talent."
She hums and shrugs a little. "Trust yourself, if you think someone's not cut out for the role, and then tell Alice. It's the same if you think she should cast someone that she doesn't pick."
I raise my brow a little, feeling there is more to what she is saying.
"Sometimes, it's hard to bypass what we feel for someone."
"Are you trying out a part?"
Bella shakes her head at me.
"No way, are you or anyone for that matter, getting me up on the stage … to have everyone look at me? Nope, no way, no how. I'll stick to the background and help behind the scenes."
I just hum out, but listen as she goes on to tell me about the past plays the school has produced which all sound good.
~WDYWFM~
I wait in the car park for the Elf. When she arrives, I walk to her car.
"Evening," I say as she steps out. "I have unlocked the door, and turned the heat on for the auditorium. Do you need anything else?"
"That's more than enough, Edward," she says as she opens her trunk. She takes out a large box, which I in turn take from her. "Is that other box coming, too?" I ask with a motion of my head.
"Yeah, I can get it—"
I shake my head, cutting her off.
"No, just stick it on top, and get the doors."
She just looks at me making me swallow.
"Unless you don't like people helping you?" I say hoping that I haven't offended her.
"What no," she states picking up the other box. "Hey, if you want to carry heavy boxes for me then please do so." She grins. "I'm just not used to seeing you so cheerful," she says closing the trunk.
"Oh," I hum.
The Elf walks with me into the school as I think over what she said. I know I have been feeling a little more relaxed. I also have been looking forward to going to work, my runs, and going to the cabin, but I didn't think it was so noticeable.
"Edward, there is nothing wrong with looking happy. This town has a way of getting under people's skin, and making them feel as if they can call it home."
"Yeah, the town does appear to be nice," I agree as I place her boxes on a table.
"Even the problem with Lauren—which was bad—hasn't been an issue," I tell her knowing that Lauren has thankfully stayed away from me. "Though, her mom did invite me to her home for dinner one night."
"Tanya is," Alice sighs, "I shouldn't really talk bad about her, and she's a single mom. They've only been here a few years, but it would be easier if they would stop thinking everyone wants them. Then there is the fact that they lie, which needs to stop. Lastly, Tanya needs to start making Lauren realize that she can't have everything she wants. Sometimes money and demanding things doesn't get you what you want."
"I was surprised that Tanya was her mom. I'm not sure what I expected, but she wasn't it. Does she hit on the Silent Assassin?"
The Elf just looks at me. "Are you calling my Jazzy the Silent Assassin?"
"Um, yeah, sorry … sometimes it is easier for me to think of what people remind me of and call them that in my head to keep them straight." I nod at her, making her chuckle.
"Fitting as his favorite character is Agent-47 from the video game Hitman," she stops talking and just looks up at me. "Wait … what is my name?"
"Eh …" I stutter
"The one you call me. What do you call me in your head?"
I bite my lip. "Elf," I confess making her giggle again.
"That's a good one. Now this means I may have to think of one for you."
My smile drops as I look at her.
"I do it because I am bad with remembering names."
She just grins at me. "Coffee?"
I nod at her.
"What is your name again?" I ask making her turn her head to me.
"Alice."
I give her a nod trying harder to remember it.
"But feel free to call me Elf," she grins.
I snort letting out a breath knowing she's not upset.
"I should tell you I let it slip at my last meeting with your husband; I think he may use it against you."
She looks at me and huffs. "Yeah, he would. Emmett and he haven't grown out of their teenage years yet."
She takes a seat at the table.
"Come on, I'll show you what we are doing."
Alice sits with me as Bella and the other students arrive. She tells them what the play is about, and a little about each character. It turns out the play is a known story, but she encouraged the English students to help make it their own. They will all meet with her weekly and make the changes they discuss. She'll cast the parts in November based on how well they do, and how much they help in the upcoming weeks.
"Bella, is the Chief coming for you?" I ask as I help Alice pack up.
"He's working late."
"I'll drop you off," I tell her. "Stay here while I walk the El … Alice to her car."
She nods at me and I walk Alice to her car. I walk back in and Bella helps me lock up before I drive her home. The whole time we talk about the play.
A/N: So what do you think of how things are going so far? What are your thoughts?