Chapter Eleven
Disclaimer
I don't own Mabinogi nor any NPC's connected. Either Devcat or Nexon does.
A/N
So in the last chapter Nao states that Jack is what – some kind of ghost? Maybe but she also reluctantly is admitting to loving him but knows it cannot be for he will surely have to leave for a higher plain of existence. Now I will switch things back to first person perspective from Jack's point of view again.
I woke up in what looks like a small clinic with a huge headache and my side hurting like hell. Recently I have been wondering if I am alive or not since my real body on Earth is very much dead. Hurting like this must mean I'm alive, right?
I soon realized where I was by looking out the window. I was inside the Emain clinic. If I were not too amazed by this, I would be freaking out. A regular player could not hope to go inside this building. I struggled to get up which alerted Agnes outside somehow for she rushed inside.
"You should not be getting up for at least another day. I have sent word to Nao about your recovery and she should be here soon."
"Agnes, I need some time alone from her. Is there a way for you to delay her?"
She looked at me funny, "If I could see her I would try but ever since she dropped you off I could not see her anymore."
"Oh. Look, if I promise to stay in bed in my own homestead, will you let me go?" I asked Agnes.
"Only on the condition that you let me on your homestead once a day to check on your progress," replied Agnes.
"NPC's can enter players homesteads?" I wondered aloud.
"Normally no but you are not normal are you Jack? I'll be there after the clinic closes to the normal populace late tonight."
I gathered my stuff and went outside to the normal area militants can access then teleported to my homestead. I then lied down on the ground and called Juni, "Juni, I need to talk to you."
Her astral form soon appeared, "Yes Jack?"
"Answer me this, am I alive or dead?"
"That is debatable and a question I had hoped you never ask me. Your body died on Earth right?"
"As I have been told but I have not been able to confirm that or not. I have thought of asking Dan to check on it for me but been afraid of freaking him out if it turns out I am dead over there. It would mean to him he was talking to some kind of ghost."
"I thought you already told Dan your body in the real world is dead. If so then he knows it to be true. Have you described in complete detail how you supposedly died in the real world. Think about it, such a death would instantly get worldwide recognition. You can just ask Dan if what you said is true and he can confirm it. He is not treating you any differently so his views must be a little more progressive than the normal persons. If you ask me you are alive here so live and stop thinking about death so much."
Juni had a point. I noticed Dan was online. "Thanks Juni. You are dismissed." I punched up Dan on the instant message.
Me: Dan, are there buddy?
Dan: yep I am here. What do you need? Want to do the Daily SM's with me?"
Me: Unfortunately, I can't. Doctor's orders. I must rest until I am fully healed.
Dan: Yeah I heard the crack as Glas hit your side the other night. On a normal militant, such an injury could be easily treated but since this world is now your reality it stands to reason you can get hurt if stuck hard enough. Well what do you need?
Me: I really need to talk to you but not over the instant message board. Can you come to my homestead for a few minutes?
Dan: Sure can. I will be right there before I do the SM's okay.
Me: Thx Bud :)
Dan: NP
A minute later, Dan was standing before me. "Geez, you are hurt worse than I thought."
"Yeah. Agnes had to perform about 10 hours of magical surgery on me yesterday. I just woke about two hours ago and had to fight her to get released to my homestead. Listen, I need to know if you looked at all into what I told you about my death in the real world."
Dan got quiet then reluctantly he started back, "Your real name was Kevin O'Leary. You were 52 yrs old living in Birmingham Alabama in your family's ancestral home at the time. You were unemployed, had already expended all five tiers of your unemployment, and faced having your home taken away from you due to back taxes. How am I doing so far?"
Sadly, I said, "Right on the money. Since I am dead over there you know what that makes me right?"
"A ghost on the web? Yeah I know but you are also alive from what I can tell. Dead people can't hurt like you do or love for that matter. To me, you are my friend Jack. Just because one body is dead does not mean you are any less alive. Does that answer your question?" asked Danster, the leader of the Hellcats guild. "You are just scared to experience the ultimate expression of being alive my friend. You are scared to experience love."
"Love? What are you talking about?"
"Jack, I am not stupid. You face lights up every time she is mentioned by anyone. It always has. You are in love with Nao. Hell it was the silent secret of the Hellcats for a long time. Everyone in the guild knew it. Why do think she kept get mentioned so much whenever you were around. It amused us how much in love with her you actually was."
"I … I … I …" I stuttered not knowing what to say.
Dan chosen to continue, "Now that you are like this and the NPC's are free flowing to you only, Nao is spending more time with you than ever before. I bet she is with you daily even though you really do not need her assistance. Why do think that is? I think you already know the reason why don't you. I need to go now. As long as I am here, Nao cannot come here. You said it yourself that when you are with normal Militants the NPC's go back to being just programmed entities. When you are well enough my friend I like to go riding with on our thoroughbreds. That ought to cheer you up a little since it's been a while since we done that."
Dan left my homestead. Two seconds after he left, I received another visitor. This time from an NPC but it was not Nao nor was it Agnes checking up on me. Morrighan was there.
"What Dan said about how you feel about Nao applies to how she feels about you, Jack. Whenever your name is brought up her face lights up as well. You know I actually did not want her to visit you during the maintenance cycle but she went anyways each day to see how you were doing. She is afraid to admit how she truly feels about you for it will cause a huge glitch in the very fabric of Erinn," declared Morrighan.
"You came to tell me what her love will cost didn't you?"
"You are as sharp as ever Jack. There will two major glitches to care when she finally admits how she feels to herself and you. The first is the most tedious for you take care of - Nao herself will be glitched. To take care of that glitch you will have to cleanse her of the glitch rather than destroy her. After that, she will be free to admit how much she loves you. The second glitch concerns you two being able to be together after that and it happens simultaneously. You know the dragon in G3,Cromm Cruaich?"
I nod my head remembering how during most of the battle I spent it being dead on the ground. My other two companions decided to leave me like that since I was less than useless during that battle. Then it hit me what Morrighan was getting at, "That dragon will be glitched"
Morrighan nodded her head, "Allow me to replay a conversation that took place on this homestead while Agnes was operating on you in Emain." She waved her hand and I say the argument between Nao and Juni. They confirmed what Dan had inferred. I willed myself to Erinn so I can be with Nao.
"Morrighan, is all this just a game still?"
"It's not just a game to the rest of the people of Erinn. It never has. True to the players, the NPC's only have programmed responses to certain stimuli based upon on what section of the overall storyline they are in but that is all. When the militants are not around the NPC's has always had the ability to move freely. You are the only militant that is able to see the NPC's in their normal stances."
"So this world existed before the programmers and engineers designed it?"
"No Jack. This world never existed until that happened but once it did, it took on a life on its own. It was some time after the beta test that life sprouted in the game that the programmers did not create. It happened around the time you first started to playing Mabinogi. I think you always affected the game and did not realize it. I can't explain it. No one can. All we know is when you first arrived in Erinn life took new meaning for the NPC's especially for Nao. It was started slowly until you decided to get membership. Then when you became eligible for G1 which back then was for members only is when life really sprouted in Erinn."
"Morrighan, that really does not make any sense. How can I affect life here when I am not even close to being a programmer or a hacker for that matter," I asked.
"Love rarely makes sense, Jack. Your world's philosophy states it's the most powerful force in the universe. Tell me the truth, when did you first fell in love with Nao?"
"The first time I saw her on my screen. I could not get a grip for days wrapping my head around falling in love with a computer program yet I had. The last time I felt like that was back in High School some 35 years ago." As I stated that, I began to think of my actions in the game.
"Tell me your thoughts Jack."
Damn, did she read my mind? "All my life I kept myself closed off afraid of getting hurt again like I was hurt when my high school love was lost to me. I opened up greatly while playing Mabinogi. I made tons of friends in the beginning by doing so. I became outgoing. Sure I am a solo player but I am not afraid of playing in a group when need be. I joined a guild because I wanted to not because I had to. I wonder if that was because I was secure in my love for a change or if I was willing to take a risk on love for once."
"Who knows Jack? But I think you know what you need to do from here. I need to go. The only time I ever supposed to directly be involved with a player is like being a deity to them and not a friend. This is the last time we will ever talk like this Jack. Take care of yourself and Nao too."
After she left Juni popped out of the mace in astral form, "Jack?"
"Why didn't you tell me of your conversation with Nao?"
"You seen the conversation and Morrighan told you what Nao should have told you. It was not my place to tell you but Nao's responsibility."
Just then, Nao phased in front of me. "Jack, I seen everything before I arrived. I was helping with an RB but I caught everything while the player chosen his new look and job skills. I was hoping to spare you the pain of what was to come. You nearly died in that Glas fight Jack. Had you fought in Erinn then it would not have happened. However, that Glas was in the other world. You are vulnerable there meaning you can be hurt or killed. Here I can resurrect you. Over there you don't have the same protection plus you have the added difficulty of actually being hurt. Did you know you had five very smashed up ribs due to your fight with Glas? What would you think might happen with the fight with Cromm Cruaich, which is in the other world? Not to mention me being glitched, this scares the hell out of me. What if you can't cleanse the glitch out of me? What would you have to do then? Kill me?"
I looked at her sadly. Clearly, she does not fully trust me yet. That may or may not come. For now, I will take things on day at a time. One thing for sure, I been wrapped up in self-pity for far too long. I need to get back to serious gaming and restart enjoying my life in Erinn.