First, I am sorry for the delay. Real life got a little crazy, but it is calming down again. I still don't own Marvel.

Steve took Natasha's hand as they walked out of the Italian restaurant. "Still want to go dancing?" he whispered into her ear.

"I don't think I want to share you. Maybe we should dance at home," Natasha replied.

"Home sounds good," Steve said as he pulled her into an embrace. "I have a feeling we should probably enjoy being alone at home this week. Once our son gets back, time alone will get complicated."

Natasha frowned. "We really have done this completely backwards."

"In fairness, we must have done things in the right order at some point to have James in the first place."

"Yeah, but I doubt we realized we were making a baby the first time around. Now, we know the possibility is there. We should probably stop at the pharmacy on the way home," Natasha replied, nervously biting her lip. "I mean, this is so new and a baby along with James could be complicated. Should we be discussing birth control? You're Catholic. You probably don't-"

"Nat, it's fine. Don't be nervous. I agree with you. James needs us to himself right now. If and when the time is right, we'll discuss having a baby. For tonight, we don't have to go anywhere but home."

Natasha laughed. "I realize you come from a different time, but unprotected sex at this particular time of my cycle would be a really bad idea, and we both know what's going to happen when we get home."

"Let me put this another way, I have the protection covered."

"Oh," Natasha replied.

"Does it bother you that I have prophylactics?"

"Well, that depends, I guess. Why does Captain America have condoms, hmm? You weren't exactly willing to let me set you up with anyone." She paused, "That really wasn't your first kiss since 1945. Do I even want to know?"

Steve laughed. "Of course, it wasn't my first kiss since 45, but I bought the box a few weeks ago. It's unopened, for the record. I just knew eventually things might boil over for us and I didn't want to be caught unprepared."

"Always the boy scout," Natasha grinned, "let's go put your preparations to good use."

"Just so you know, this is for keeps, Romanoff. If you're not completely sure, now is your time to speak up."

"I think I know what I'm signing on for Rogers. Home, now."

They barely made it through the front door when Steve's phone rang. Steve pressed decline and went back to kissing Natasha. Natasha's own phone rang immediately afterward, and she tossed it towards the couch. When the home phone rang, they finally parted breathlessly. Natasha grabbed the phone, "This better be good." Steve watched Natasha's face fall as the person on the other line spoke. "We're on our way," she said before putting the phone back on the hook.

"What's going on?" Steve asked.

"There's a problem with Barnes. We have to get back to the compound," Natasha sighed.

Avengers Compound

"He put himself in the Hulk containment cell," Sam sighed as he greeted his friends. "Says he's too dangerous."

"I'll talk to him," Steve replied tersely.

"Yeah, about that, he wants to talk to Widow and only Widow," Sam added, giving Natasha an odd look that made her extremely uncomfortable.

"I'll talk to him," she replied with much more bravado than she actually felt. "Go make us some tea, soldier. Sam, keep him company."

"Don't you think we should go with you?" Steve asked.

"He said he wanted to talk to me alone. I think we should respect his right to privacy. He voluntarily locked himself up, Steve. It'll be fine."

Steve nodded, and Natasha quickly left the room. She desperately hoped her gut was wrong for once. If Barnes truly remembered everything then it wasn't going to be easy to help him overcome all Hydra had used him to do. If he remembered her, things were going to get complicated. She hadn't been lying when she warned Steve about pulling this particular string.

Bucky was sitting on the floor of the cell when she arrived. "Natalia," He whispered.

"Not Natalia any more, Barnes. You need to stay with me in the present and let us help you."

"I don't deserve help. The things I've done-"

"Were not done of your own free will. Let it go, Barnes. James, what do you remember?"

"Everything. I remember everything. I need your help, Natalia. I need you to kill me."

"That's not going to happen. Let me get Sam in here. This is PTSD. He can help you work through it. You can tell him whatever you need to tell him."

"Even what I did to you? What will Steve say when he finds out I shot the mother of his child?"

"He knows."

"Does he know everything? Does he know what I did to you and Alexi?"

Natasha cringed a little at the name of her ex husband. "No, but if you need to talk about it, do it. It's in the past. I've let it go."

"I helped them coerce you into marrying the man then I helped turn him into a monster, Natalia!"

"You said it yourself. I didn't love Alexi, not like I should, and he is a monster. It's over. I'm with Steve. We have a son who is named after you. Do you honestly think I would have given my son your name if I hadn't forgiven you?"

"What about Stark? Do you think he will be so forgiving when he finds out what I've done, huh? Do you even know what I did to Howard Stark?"

"I know we've both done terrible things, but neither of us are those people anymore. That's what matters. We can't change the past."

"I killed Tony's parents!"

Natasha closed her eyes and shook her head. This was a disaster. "He won't be able to forgive you."

"I know."

"I'm calling Steve and Sam in now. We need to do damage control." She paused, "We also need to figure out how to help you deal with these memories. They'll eat you alive otherwise," Natasha added.

"How do you do it? How do you justify all the things you've done?" Bucky asked.

"I don't. I never try to justify them. I just try to do as much good as I can to try and make up for some of the red."

When Steve and Sam arrived, Natasha had Bucky recount the memories. Natasha kept her face unreadable as Bucky told Steve about Alexi and their short marriage. She didn't look Steve in the eye when Bucky told them about Alexi's run as the Red Guardian. When he finally moved on to the deaths of Howard and Maria Stark, Natasha chanced a glance Steve's direction. He was broken.

"Stark isn't going to do well with this information," Sam admitted. "We need to be careful how we tell him."

"Or, maybe we shouldn't tell him," Natasha half-whispered.

"It would cause him a lot of unnecessary pain," Sam replied.

Steve was silent for a minute longer before replying. "Tony raised our kid and other Avenger's kids after we fell in battle in the other timeline. He deserves to know the truth. I think it would be best if it came from me."

"Are you sure about that, soldier?" Natasha asked.

"No, not even a little bit, but it's the right call." He turned to Sam and frowned. "Do you think Bucky is stable enough to be out of that cell?"

"He put himself in there. I don't think there's any real reason for him to stay inside," Sam replied.

"Do you think you can help him?"

"I can try."

Steve nodded. "Take Bucky back to D.C. with you for now. I'll be in touch with you as soon as Tony has had time to think things through."

"I'm on it, Cap. I'll take care of him," Sam replied.

It was extremely late when Steve and Natasha finally made it home. Steve hadn't spoken during the drive, and Natasha knew they were going to have to clear the air. "Just ask the question already, Steve. The silence isn't helping anyone."

"Which question, Nat? Do you want me to ask how close you were to my best friend or should I ask about your husband, huh? Just how many secrets are you still hiding from me? I trusted you."

"You could have read my file at any point and learned all about Alexi. I handed it to you personally in D.C. As for my relationship with the Winter Soldier, well, I didn't feel like I had to the right to tell you anything when he didn't remember it himself."

"Relationship?"

"Barnes trained me. After I graduated from the program, I still needed certain skills. They brought in an expert, someone who never failed, and he became my mentor. When he decided I was ready, he gave me an assignment. I was to woo and marry a mark. I wasn't given a reason and I didn't ask any questions. I married Alexi and we lived together for a few months. It was not a bad time for me-my first taste of normal. It didn't last long. They faked his death and turned him into the Red Guardian. I didn't see him again until after I went straight. Clint and I were in Budapest. When I saw him, I froze. He was my husband and he was supposed to be dead. By the time we left Budapest, he was."

"I'm sorry. It couldn't have been easy," Steve replied, softening slightly.

"It wasn't."

"Did you love him?"

"I thought I did, but no. Alexi was a decent man before they changed him. He's just a little more red in my leger."

"And, Bucky? You said he trained you. Were you involved with him?"

"I can honestly say I was not involved with Bucky Barnes. I was involved with the Winter Soldier. It was part of the training. It wasn't romance. It was manipulation."

"This is the kind of thing I needed to know, Natasha. Even if we weren't involved, you're my partner. You are supposed to be helping me train these guys-"

"I have never let my feelings for the Winter Soldier affect my opinion of James Barnes. I'm a professional."

"Your feelings for the Winter Soldier? And, what exactly were those?"

"I hated him. You're trying to make this some kind of love affair, but it wasn't. Maybe eighteen year old me thought it was love, but when he was pushing me off on Alexi as if I were nothing to him, I learned my lesson," Natasha shouted. "You know what, I was wrong. Talking about this tonight isn't a good idea. I'm going to bed."

Natasha made it to the bathroom before the tears began to fall. She was naïve to think she and Steve might actually have a chance. They were just going to have to figure out a way to make James comfortable without complicating things between them any further. By the time Natasha had calmed down enough to finish getting undressed and go back to the bedroom, Steve was already on his side of the bed.

"You've got to be kidding me, Rogers. We are not continuing this conversation tonight," she grimaced.

"I agree. We should talk tomorrow. Let's get some sleep," Steve replied, pulling the covers back slightly on her side of the bed. Natasha just raised an eyebrow. "I think we both know me sleeping in the other room is a step in the wrong direction. We have things to work through, but my feelings for you haven't changed. I don't believe yours have either. I told you this was for keeps, Nat. We'll get through this together."

"You seem awfully confident about that."

"I figure we probably had this fight in the other timeline. It was probably a little less intense since we weren't together yet, but we still got together eventually. We named our son after Bucky, Nat. If either of us had any doubts about your feelings, that wouldn't have happened."

Natasha crawled into the bed and just stared at Steve for a moment. "It isn't that I didn't want to tell you, it just didn't seem fair since he didn't remember."

"I think I get that. You said no to marriage when we were talking about the future. I'm guessing it was because you were married before."

"No, I just don't want to ever get married for the wrong reason again. I wouldn't marry you just to have the baby James Tony thinks we may need. I would only marry you because I love you."

"So, if I were to ask-"

"At the right time and for the right reason, I would say yes. But, this is definitely not the right time."

"I do love you, you know," Steve whispered into her hair.

"Good, because I think I might love you, too," Natasha replied, "but I promise there are still many things you don't know about me."

"Maybe we should just agree to leave the past in the past. I'm sorry I panicked over Bucky. I guess knowing you were with Bucky made me feel like that sickly, scrawny kid from Brooklyn. I shouldn't have taken that out on you. Add in the conversation I'm going to have to have with Tony, and I guess I just lost it."

"The conversation we are going to have with Tony," Natasha corrected. "If you really believe telling him is the right play, I'll help you do it."

Steve didn't speak again, but he pulled Natasha into his arms and kissed her cheek. Natasha feel asleep in his arms. They were going to be okay.