Part 10
Jason has had many people pass in and out of his room. He's had as much pass in and out of his dreams. Towards the beginning of December, he was having dreams within dreams. Jason walks into Dr. Collins office. They knew each other only in passing and from reputation. Kevin had arrived in PC shortly before Karen's death. Jason had spoken briefly with him then. Jason tells his story to Kevin and about his dreams.
Kevin wants to know about the people in his dreams and how he feels about each one of them. "Do you dream about Karen?"
Jason replies, "no, not really."
"Why"
"Karen was a long time ago and she died saving AJ which made him so different."
"AJ"?
"Well, yes. He's still alive and maybe I could have stopped him from wrecking his life. Maybe if I'd have been there it would have been me instead and Karen would be here."
"These last dreams you are having, are you envisioning yourself as if you were AJ instead?"
"Well, I guess you could say so, but I'm not really sure why."
"Do you wish you had that life?"
"Maybe, I don't know. I found an adrenaline rush with the danger but was terrified by the loss of loved ones in my life. I don't want to be cold and unfeeling."
"What about Courtney?"
"She's AJ's wife."
"Do you want her? Why is it you saved her, and the others ended up saving you?"
"Wow, I don't know. So many questions, I have to think about all of this."
"Well, I think its best we end this for today."
Jason returns home and visits everyone at the mansion. Back at the gatehouse he takes Elizabeth aside and says, "I need more time, but I love you and I am doing this for you and the children, but I think it's best for you to stay with your grandmother until I get this all worked out." He kisses her and the children.
Michael comes to visit Uncle Jason. Carly is there outside watching, talking to Sonny. Jason's eyes flutter a little. Michael screams, "he's waking up!" Carly rushes in and Sonny gets Tony. Sonny follows Tony in, and Tony examines Jason. "Sorry, but he's not responsive."
Jason goes back to the gatehouse and this time instead of wine he grabs the case of beer he brought home with him, takes one out and downs it. He watches the CD Elizabeth made for him, takes the urn again moving it from one hand to the other. He drinks another beer. Soon he is asleep in the chair.
Jason is back at the PH. Sonny is raging, but this time it is not about Faith. "That brother of yours is after our child. I am sick and tired of his games. I want him taken care of! Today!"
"I'll take care of him, Sonny." He goes to ELQ Headquarters and waits. His brother exits the building and heads to his car. He calls out to him and three shots go off. He goes to check, turns the body over and suddenly he's looking at himself! Jason practically falls out of the chair. He is afraid of falling asleep. He takes out a pad of paper and starts writing. He makes out a list, some of it is about what Kevin said today.
1. Why does he keep losing the ones he loves?
2. Who does he want to be? A Dr? Working for Sonny? The docks? ELQ?
3. What is it about this Courtney? Does he want her?
4. Are his children safe?
5. The killings?
6. Is this who he is? What does he want? He's not sure but needs to see Kevin again.
He opens the door to Kevin's office. He brings his list of questions.
Jason goes back to see Kevin. He brings his list of questions. Kevin says he is not sure if all these questions can be addressed today.
1. Are you afraid of love? Do you push people away before you can love too much?
2. Are you still practicing medicine? Do you feel the need to save lives since you can't save your loved ones? How do you feel about being second banana? Does eliminating those who do you wrong make you feel empowered? Does being a common man working on the docks let you feel invisible and be yourself? Would you rather work at ELQ and be your own boss? Do you want to do something entirely different to start anew?
3. Why are you dreaming about Courtney when Elizabeth is still alive? In your dreams you lose three people in your life; two of which are dead. Is Elizabeth dead to you, do you feel as if you have already lost her or are you pushing her away to save her from what she did for you in your dreams? Do you love Courtney or are you envisioning yourself in her life as maybe you don't care about her and her dying as that would be less painful?"
4. Kevin is not sure how to handle Jason's fear about his children. What would you do to keep them safe? Stay here and find a job that makes your family (and hopefully yourself) happy or risk something you'd rather do to make you happy (and face your family dealing with it; or leave with Elizabeth and the children abandoning the rest of your family all over again?
5. Are these killings a feeling you want to do or are you afraid of it? Or does this focus more on losing those you love?
Kevin says, "this last one you are the only one who can provide the answer for that. Once you can decipher your five questions, that should give you the answer to the rest of your life." Jason feels exhausted leaving Kevin's office.