"Well I don't think it's bad," Jen tried looking over my outfit, "It's cute. Sure it'll be weird to see you without the baggy pants but I honestly have to say it's an improvement." I groaned and flopped back on her bed.

"But I don't like 'cute'. I don't care about clothes," I grumbled.

"So it doesn't matter."

"What?" I sat up and looked at her, "Of course it matters." Was she insane? Did she not see the same thing I saw?

"You say you don't care so it shouldn't matter what you wear because clothes aren't important to you. And you don't bother with knowing what other people think of you." I blinked.

"I didn't think about it like that but you're right." I smiled glad to have Jen back or otherwise I would be back at home sulking over having no friends and new clothes.

"That's what I'm here for," she said smugly picking up her phone, pressing random buttons rapidly. Then I had the sudden urge to play with mines but when I reached for it I realized it was in my bag… downstairs.

"Hey I'm gonna go grab my bag and be right back," I told her before making my way out. I reached the stairs and took them two at a time. I reached the last bottom step and almost fell on my ass before I saw Jonesy holding my bag. I waited for my heart to start pounding in my chest but it didn't. It sped up a bit but not in a good way. Not even one butterfly in my stomach bothered to flutter.

"That's mines," I snapped crossing the room and snatching it from him.

"I knew that." I ignored him and dug through my bag making sure he didn't touch anything.

"You didn't open it did you?" I eyed him and he shook his head. I rolled my eyes, "Whatever," I huffed brushing hair out of my face trying to get over the fact how awkward this was.

"Nikki can we talk?" his voice sincere, it instantly made me suspicious.

"No."

"No?" he sounded surprised and I smirked.

"No Jonesy. And like you said no means no," I turned to go back upstairs when he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back. I was forced against his chest and I tried to squirm away with no success.

"Please?"

"No Jonesy I have nothing else to say to you. You made your deci-" he cut me off with his lips and I instantly thought of Jude and my heart dropped to my feet. I pounded against his chest and tried to push him off but his grip only tightened.

"Get off!" I tried to say against his lips. He took that as a chance to stick his tongue in my mouth. The way it use to make me feel was replaced with disgust and I bit down on it hard. He pulled away surprised.

"You fucking je-"

"Nikki?" I whirled around and my heart rose to my throat.

"Jude?" When I saw the look in his eyes my heart rose even higher only to plummet back down to my stomach. Why couldn't my heart just stay in my chest?

"Jude I didn't," I whispered approaching him but he wouldn't look at me. His eyes were glaring daggers at Jonesy.

"Nikki, get away from me," he growled and I realized that I was basically in front of him now, pleading.

"Jude, listen to me. I didn't kiss Jonesy." He turned his eyes to me but they didn't soften and I flinched. Did he really not believe me? How much did he even see?

"You don't trust me," I stated looking straight at him and somehow it didn't surprise me how true it felt. I always knew a part of Jude wasn't ever going to trust me. I just didn't think it was such a huge part.

"Who the hell am I suppose to believe when that scumbag is answering your phone?"

"You're supposed to believe me because I'm your girlfriend, unless you still think I still have feelings for Jonesy," I snapped at him when he didn't reply I knew what I threw at him was true.

"That is what you think of me, isn't it?" When he didn't answer I got angrier, "Isn't it?" I yelled at him. He just shrugged before looking away.

"Let me tell you something Jude I came over here to apologize to Jen for this whole stupid ordeal. I wanted nothing to do with Jonesy and I still don't but now," I paused because I was absolutely positive I was going to regret this, "But now I want nothing to do with you." He stared at me surprise but I already pushed passed him and was walking out the door. I waved at Jen who was standing in disbelief at the top of the stairs. I slammed the door behind me and stormed down the sidewalk. Surprisingly, I didn't want to cry. The tears that always came like waterfalls stayed away. Maybe I was all out of tears from crying too much or my thing with Jude was so short that I didn't feel the need to waste anymore waterworks on him. This was ridiculous. The guy I love doesn't trust me. The guy I once loved seems to want me back. Whoever dropped these problems on my shoulder is sick!

"Nikki wait," I heard Jen called I whirled around but only because it was her.

"Look Jen if you want answers I have none, okay? I really don't," I yelled frustrated my chest heaving from holding back my thoughts, everything that I wanted to get off my chest was just piling up unspoken and sooner or later I was going to blow up. Every little secret and every lie will probably spew out of me like blood and then I would have so much explaining to do and so much more things to mend that I would not be the same Nikki I am after everything was said and done. So I kept it to myself in hopes that I could dump it later when no one was around.

"Can I walk with you?" she asked brushing orange hair out her face her eyes soft. I hesitated but nodded my head.

"How about we go get Caitlin then head for the Groovy Smoothie? I heard their holding a poetry contest today," she suggested and I agreed. I appreciated Jen for not prying or demanding to know what just happened back there. I wasn't at all ready to talk about it. But the thought of being with Caitlin and knowing the feelings she also had for Jude wasn't that much more appealing then spilling my guts either. Still, hanging out with Jen and Caitlin would most likely remind me of the good old times which is exactly something I definitely need ASAP.

"Nikki?"

"Hmm?"

"I know we had some problems but you know you can talk to me right? I won't make that mistake again, I promise." I smiled slightly.

"I know, Jen." And I did know. Jen believed in that old saying, 'Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.' She never made the same mistake twice. Yet I still make the same mistakes over and over again.

Jonesy glared at Jude. Jude glared at Jonesy. The girls were gone and it was just them and every thought that Jude ever had about his ex-best friend bubbled on his tongue.

"I'm leaving," he mumbled instead, turning for the door.

"Sure do what you always do. Stick the knife in my back then walk away," Jonesy spat at him.

"Dude what are you talking about?" Jude forgot about leaving, "I backstabbed you?"

"Dude you stole my girl!"

"You told me you didn't give a damn about Nikki anymore. Sorry for thinking that meant you were over her."

"Yea it also meant back off!"

"You have Mia! Remember her, brah?"

"Nikki is still my ex, brah. And there's a rule stating that friends can't date their best friends' exes!"

"What about the rule about not betraying another friend's trust?"

"You're still on that? That was a year ago! Dude just get over it!" Jude didn't realize what he was doing until it already happened. He decked Jonesy.

"What the hell man?" Jonesy shouted grabbing his nose, "Fuck! I think you broke it."

"Consider us even, brah." Jude said walking out the door. He cut through the grass, pass his truck and was trudging on hard paved road. His thoughts swarm in his head fiercely making thinking clearly really difficult. But one thought stood out. Nikki. Her beautiful face in his mind was twisted into anger and her sweet voice repeated bitter spoken words.

'I want nothing to do with you!' Jude winced as if reliving the moment. What did he do? Why couldn't he trust her? This girl drove him crazy, made him think, do things, and say stuff he normally wouldn't. She was nothing like the girls he was with before. He never had to change for Starr or that Australian chick whose name he can't recall right now. He must admit he did a little transformation to match Starr's changing personality but he swore he'll never do that again. Instead Nikki was changing the inside of him not his clothes and styles. He wanted to do better when he was around Nikki; he wanted to be able to engage her in an intelligent conversation and not just one about stupid things like his skateboard, or his prized zamboni he use to ride around the mall. Really he just wanted to be able to talk about anything with her. Hear her laugh when he says something stupid, watch her tilt her head back and smile a smile saved just for him.

Jude had to stop and wonder what life would have been like if Nikki had fallen in love with Jude first instead of Jonesy. How much easier things would have been? No fights would have been caused because his eyes wouldn't wonder after any decent girls since they'll be glued to the most important and beautiful girl in his life. He would take her out every night whether to look at the stars or out to eat at her favorite restaurant because he knew she only deserved the best. The two of them would be completely in love. Nothing would ever come between them because they would have no reason to keep secrets.

Everything would be perfect.

(A/N)- UGH I HATE THIS CHAPTER! It sucks soooo much but I can't think of any an you guys really deserve an update! I promise to write waaaayyy better chapters in the future so please don't be mad at me for the looooonnnnnngg updates! I love you guys!