A/N-Somebody asked me if Fin really gets shot in a review. Yes, he does, in the Season 6 episode "Haunted." It's a pretty good episode, I think the first one where we meet Fin's son. Another person asked me how old Alexandra is. She's seven months old, thereabouts, in the last chapters. Thanks to my beta!
Disclaimer- I don't own them. Duh!
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Summary- One night, Olivia finds a gift that can only be described as a blessing and a curse. Developing E/O…
Chapter Ten-Building Up
Wake up.
Feed Alexandra.
Change Alexandra.
Play movie for Alexandra.
Shower.
Dress for work.
She follows a routine that seems old as time the next morning. It was how she always was after the nightmare.
If you pretend that it didn't happen, that it's not real, then maybe, just maybe, you can forget about it for a while.
She consciously avoids Elliot in her apartment. She can hear him entertaining her daughter as she dries her hair and sees his breakfast dishes neatly piled by the sink.
But she won't talk to him about her breakdown.
Pack up Alexandra.
Leave.
She has managed to avoid his questioning gaze and lets her hand fall loosely at her side as she walks to the precinct.
She couldn't help but smile when she feels his hand taking her own and giving it a soft squeeze.
She allows him to hold on, because maybe she wants to hold on, too.
And she squeezes it back before dropping his hand at the doors to the station.
It's the only romantic gesture she's allowed him since kissing him in her kitchen the previous morning.
Truth be told, she knows exactly what she's doing and why she's doing it.
She's turning away from him, not letting him in.
She wants to, desperately, but every sensible bone in her body is screaming for her to stop, turn back, and run away. But she won't let him in, and she won't run away, so she's caught half-way.
She's loving him, hating him, needing him, and hurting him all at once.
He knows precisely what's going on with his partner.
He's known her for almost nine years now. He could tell when it was her time of the month, when a case was getting to her, and when she had slept with a coworker.
In close-knit conditions such as the Special Victims Unit, everyone knows too much about everyone else.
He knows that she's fighting a battle with herself and he's the cause.
He wants to be let in. He wants her. He wants her to trust him enough to confide in him.
Tonight, she'll confess. He'll see to it.
"Captain, a moment?" Elliot asked, watching as Olivia made her way to the bathroom during a slow moment.
"Of course, Elliot. What's up?" Cragen shut the door behind his detective and watched with wary eyes. "Wait, is this work or personal?"
"Both. I'm going to try something with Olivia tonight," he began and Cragen visibly winced. "And I need to leave work early. Can I?"
"Just this once, Stabler," Cragen warned, "But yeah. Anything else?"
"Uhh…can you and Casey maybe work out a babysitting thing for tonight?"
"Do I want to hear about what you're going to do?"
"It's nothing like that, Captain," Elliot said respectfully. "It's just I want her to open up to me and I don't want her to have to worry about being strong for anyone."
"Just because her child won't physically be there with you won't stop her worrying, but I'll call Novak. Maybe we can order in pizza and set up a movie and sleep in the crib or something. Just this once, and then you have to find some other babysitting service." Cragen offered him a ghost of a smile before turning back to work. "Now go find a rapist."
"Every day, Captain. Every day."
At four o'clock, after making several successful phone calls, Elliot stood up and grabbed Olivia's coat from the rack.
"C'mon, we're getting out of here," he told her.
"What?" she asked, shrugging on her coat and hesitating at her desk.
"I've talked with Cragen. He's babysitting with Casey for the night, and I'm going to take you out somewhere."
"Why?"
"Because I care about you," he whispered.
"Okay."
He informed her that the evening would be slightly formal, so she picked out a shimmery bronze knee-length dress and a matching wrap. He was busy fixing his suit and tie.
Her hair was cleaned, dried, and curled into loose ringlets. Her bangs were carefully arranged around her face. Her make-up was light and sparkling.
Even with a look of careful confusion decorating her face, Elliot thought she couldn't look more beautiful.
He drove, telling her that their destination was meant to be a surprise.
"I don't like surprises," she told him, legs crossed and hands in lap. Polite, tactful, and wary.
"You'll like this."
They drove for maybe thirty minutes, mostly silent. He was concentrating on the road and the events he hoped would happen tonight, and she was trying to determine where they were headed.
Eventually Elliot pulled up to a rickety old building that was lit up by candles and dulled spotlights.
"The Lighthouse Inn?" Olivia asked, reading a faded sign hanging from the roof. Elliot nodded, opening the car door for her. A powerful wave of salty sea air hit her.
"We're by the ocean?"
"Rockaway Beach, where I used to spend my summers. This was always the best and fanciest place to go." Courteously, he offered her his hand and she took it gently.
"But why are we here?"
"Because I wanted to take you somewhere nice, somewhere far away. This is as far as I could get on short notice."
As if it was the only explanation in the world.
"Elliot! Good to see you, really good. How are you?" the man at the desk asked as he warmly shook Elliot's hand.
"Just fine, Pete. Reservations for two, under Stabler?"
"Here we are," Pete said, pointing to a spot in the book. "Donna's setting up the table now, it'll only be a moment. Who's the lovely lady accompanying you this evening, you old hound?"
"This is my…Olivia. Liv, this is Pete. His dad owned this place when we were kids and now he manages it."
"Mr. Stabler? Your table is ready. Follow me, please," a teenage brunette said, and the two fell in line behind her as she made her way to their table.
"Don't be worried," Elliot said, once Pete had taken their orders.
"Why would I be worried?"
"Because you left your baby daughter alone with two family members who care about her and you're still feeling the separation."
He offered her a kind smile and she relaxed just a little bit.
"You look great, Liv," he complimented.
"Flattery, Elliot? What's the catch?"
She was suspicious and rightly so. This was a different person sitting in front of her. He was romantic and caring and selfless and confident.
"We're taking things slow, right?" He paused, allowing her to nod her approval. "So this is what we've moved on to. This, my dear Olivia, is a first date-of-sorts, and the flattery is because I want to get to know you better."
Whatever she was expecting, his answer wasn't it. He was serious and his hand was resting gently on hers.
"You've known me for the past nine years, we've been partners for the past nine years. You already know me," she told him.
"I know Detective Benson the cop. I know how the Special Victims Unit has influenced Olivia Benson, my best friend. I know the SVU-Olivia, what it does to her and how she connects. I want to know what made you the way you are before walking into the squad-room, before you walked into my life and the lives of everyone around us. I want to know, and I want for you to tell me. Please, Liv, will you tell me?" he asked.
She was quiet for a long moment, her smile gone from her face. After a moment of thought, she spoke again, so quietly that he had to strain to hear her.
"My life…it hasn't been the best. Some parts are happy, some definitely aren't dinner conversation. Some parts I'd rather just forget about. Nobody else, besides me, knows my whole story. But, if you really want to know, I'll tell you. In time. I'll tell you everything in time."
She took a deep breath and a long sip of her drink and for the first time Elliot realized exactly how much he was asking of her. She had agreed to tell him, though, and that was all that mattered.
Salads arrived and Eliot and Olivia ate in somber silence. Once the plates had been cleared away, Olivia cleared her throat and Elliot turned his attention to her.
"Happy parts first." He understood it to mean the happy parts of her life and her willingness to talk to him about them.
"Okay. Aside from working with me the past nine years," he began but she cut in.
"Of course, Stabler, because working with you is always such a joy," she chuckled.
"What other parts of your life made you truly happy?" he finished.
Her face became devoid of emotion as she thought for a moment.
"I've never been as happy as I have been the past month," she decided.
"Because of Alexandra?"
"Because of everything. Alexandra is the one who was adopted, but I feel as though I've gotten the family. I have a daughter now, and a father. Munch, Fin, and Casey and I have never been closer. You're there all the time now, and it's comforting and…right. It's the stupid little things, too. I change diapers and I dusted the cobwebs off my pots and pans. I had a Christmas tree and an actual celebration this year, something I haven't done in a long time," she admitted.
"You deserve to be happy all the time. You deserve the family and the little things that make your heart smile. You deserve so much, Liv, it's a wonder it took so long."