-

Bella had written those words - the ones she never intended to share - and meant every single one. She wasn't about to give in and be miserable. The decision was made. She was going to be strong and brave and capable and happy. And if Edward was going to be able to help her achieve that, well she wasn't about to let him go. She couldn't imagine anyone else would look at her that way he did or make her feel the way he did. That combination of content and giddy - the one she wished she could bottle and keep. Who wouldn't want to feel that way?

The sound of his voice was a soothing lullaby, and though she couldn't fulfill her wish of recording the mesmerising tones to play on her beloved hand-me-down iPod and use it to shut out the noise from the rest of the world , it lived in her internal playlist and she listened more often that she would like to admit.

The memory of his delicious smell - that mix of musky city and fresh suburb and clean showers - was as strong as if it had been absorbed onto a piece of cloth in her pocket.

And the feel of him; that safe and sound pressure of his arm around her shoulder, well she didn't want the replica or the memory. Bella wanted the real thing and it filled her dreams and fantasies as she lay in the dark on her narrow lumpy bed. Unfortunately, they weren't enough to alleviate the sting of the loose spring that had made it's home wedged into her back.

The best thing in her life were those shared moments in the train station and felt that it was the same for Edward. There was no mistaking the light in his eyes and the warmth in his voice during those encounters. It was as if they were the only people in the place. As clichéd as it sounds, the world and all it's hardships drifted away until there was nothing left but Edward and the way he made her feel.

Bella didn't want anything more than his company; the formality of a date would have made her uncomfortable. What would she wear? Who would pay? No, she didn't know how to be herself in those circumstances and hat was the point in him falling for a lie? She was happy with the routine they had fallen into - these carefully scheduled and highly anticipated meetings in the manic station.

There was no pretension or barriers, nothing to stop them being anything but themselves. Their talks were honest and raw. Jokes were spontaneous. Touches were given because they wanted to, not because it seemed to be conventional.

And even in silence, or in the light heartedness of their crossword puzzles, there was always the spark of something more. A balance was struck - Edward was the master of the cryptic clue, Bella rocked at general knowledge. They both detested suduko. He would make little references to the future - things they might do and the way his sister would act if she met her. She was fairly certain he was exaggerating about Alice, but there was something in the gently indulgent way he spoke about her, that warmed Bella's heart. So she told him that she couldn't wait to meet her and a joyous smile intensified the beauty of his rugged features.

The days passed that way and they soon turned into weeks. Winter forced itself upon them with an inconvenient habit of there not being enough hours in the day, not enough sunlight. They still found time for those cherished moments, the little things that broke the monotony and made it worthwhile.

Bella lived for them.

Edward was working hard. The treatment centre was looking to secure approval for some clinical trial so it was all hands on deck. He told Bella, with scorn and dismissal in his voice, that he mainly made coffee, ran errands and filed paperwork but she could tell he was enjoying the sense of purpose.

Bella was swamped with college work and hours at the restaurant and it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep on top of things. She viewed this as a good thing. It made her appreciate the Edward filled interludes all the more and there wasn't too much time to dwell on the negatives, which still existed in their multitudes.

She wouldn't focus on them. The lack of contact from her family or her struggles in her mandatory math class. Edward had made good on his promise to help her but neither of them could concentrate with all the noise and bustle around them. After a little while, they went back to talking about their favourite cartoons. A promise was made, to meet and do this in the library whenever they were both free, but they had yet to fulfil it. The day after the failed tutoring attempt, Bella had looked in her bag and found the completed worksheet and a note from Edward.

These were the good things worth focusing on. Good was unexpected gestures and saving money and hand-knitted winter gloves and hot chocolate on the bench with Edward. Great was the times when he opened up to her and made her laugh and she could see him relax in front of her eyes.

There were times when he felt almost too good. He never pressured, never intruded and while she did worry that it was his own demons holding him back, she appreciated the quiet comfort of him just being there. He made her feel special and at times, maybe even loved.

The temperature dropped steadily as Winter intensified. On more than one occasion, Bella had shivered through their time together, her light coat wrapped tightly around her. It was the perfect excuse for Edward to hold her even closer. Hell, it was almost worth the discomfort. But the times her teeth chattered as she walked home from work at night…they were not so good. He noticed her suffering; she got the impression he noticed everything. Bella felt his eyes assess her clothes and in that moment she wanted to burn his stupid wool coat.

The next morning that they saw each other - a blustery dawn that sent people and papers scattering through the station concourse - he was carrying a glossy carrier bag from a large department store. It was unlike him to carry even a laptop case, he didn't like the hassle, and curiosity made him ask what it was.

"Oh this," Edward said dismissively. "Esme bought it for Alice but it's a bit too big for the munchkin. She asked me to return it and get the smaller size."

"Oh," Bella echoed. How nice to have that luxury. She quickly squashed that thought before it turned jealous and bitter.

Edward was still carrying the bag that evening when they met up.

"Did you forget to run your errand?" she asked.

"No." He shook his head and feigned irritation. "The store won't give refunds on sale items and they didn't have an extra-small. We're stuck with it."

"Couldn't you have picked out something else for your sister?"

"I wouldn't even know where to start. Alice's taste is as changeable as the weather…" he trailed off. "This is probably your size. Try it on and see."

Bella didn't know how to reply to that. She began to shake her head but Edward ignored her. With confidant hands, he unzipped her worn jacket and pushed it off her shoulders. He pulled the new one from the bag, tags still dangled from the cuff. She did not move to take it and so, Edward took one cold hand in his and placed it into the sleeve. She felt like a child and in one way it frustrated her. In another way she very much liked the feeling of being taken care of. Bella let him pull the coat up her arm, along her back and she slipped her other arm in herself. His long fingers were steady but his breath was shaky as he buttoned it closed, thigh to chest.

"It suits you," he said as he stepped backwards.

She glanced down and saw that he was right. The coat looked smart and warm and luxurious, the kind of thing she would have fingered longingly in a store. The fabric was soft and rich and the colour warmed her pale complexion.

"Does it really?"

"You know it does," Edward teased.

Bella blushed and went to unbutton it before she got too attached.

"Don't." His hands stilled hers. "Keep it."

"I can't -" Her attempt at protesting was valiant but a little half-hearted. It fell on deaf ears.

"Otherwise it will end up at the bottom of Alice's closet. It's be a shame to let it go to waste. And if you say you don't like it, I'll tell Alice you insulted her taste and she'll hunt you down."

Bella smiled at his arguments, distracted by the fact he hadn't let go of her hand.

"But-"

"No buts." Edward ripped off the price tag off. She was a tad relieved, it was easier to accept if she didn't know the cost. "It's yours now. And you look gorgeous in it."

She blushed and looked down, admiring her much needed acquisition.

"Thank you."

Her words of gratitude were quiet and sincere and directed at much more than the coat itself. She knew as well as he did, that the excuse about Alice was a lie.

Bella was at work the following evening, in the place that felt more like home than her place of residence. The restaurant was homely and affordable, frequented by local working people who wanted home cooked food without the hassle of actually cooking. The menu was varied enough to appeal to the diverse range of ethnicities in the area. Haute cuisine was not in high demand here.

A married couple, Sam and Emily, owned and ran it. He had seemed scary at first but Bella soon learned his bark was worse than his bite. He wasn't fully confident in speaking English, though she could understand him fine, and she attributed that as the reason for his abrupt demeanour. Emily was warm and charitable, a mother to anyone who would let her.

She had told Bella how her and Sam emigrated to the US in the aftermath of the Balkan wars. He was a conscripted soldier, called to do his mandatory duty just days after their wedding, and while he was away a mortar bombs struck their village. A piece of shrapnel embedded into her stomach and her face suffered from severe burns. To be alive at all, was a miracle and she had the scars to prove it. She would never be able to bear children.

As soon as Sam heard the news he went AWOL and returned home to her. Once she was well enough they fled to the US on the grounds of political asylum. He still harboured misplaced guilt over his involvement in the war and returning to what was left of the home country was not an option.

Once settled in the city, they opened the restaurant and were not shy about hiring illegal workers or taking needy college girls into the fold. When the kitchen got hot and steamy, Emily's scars would grow itchy and uncomfortable but Bella never once heard her complain. She had taken to confiding in her, glad to have a substitute maternal figure, and told her about Edward and the coat before dinner rush that evening.

"Listen child," Emily said in thickly accented English. "You no need wealth to show gratitude. Come. I show you how make cake to cause any man to fall in love. In my village boys queued up for it. This cake make him worship ground you walk on. "

"I don't want to make him fall in love with me," Bella lied. "I just want to say thanks."

"Just thanks?" Emily raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Pssht. I suppose it work for that too."

Laughing and talking companionably, the two women made a rich chocolate Garash cake and Bella felt a little smug when her boss ordered the other workers to do her duties for the rest of her shift. Emily packed it into a colourful tin and wiped a smudge of chocolate off Bella's cheek before sending her off.

Bella walked toward the station with a spring in her step.

-

The celebration was in full swing and though the work day was over, it showed no sign of slowing down. The approval had been granted and the funding secured and Edward couldn't help but get caught up in the jovial atmosphere a little. Emmett's high school graduation party was the last time he'd been part of something so frivolous. He was still immensely more reserved that the rest of his colleagues.

But he did enjoy it, for a little while. The hard work and long hours had paid off and it was nice to be included. To be slapped on the back and have achieved something and for that senior doctor who only ever referred to him as Carlisle's kid to finally call him Edward.

Cigars were passed around and Glenfiddich was decanted from Waterford Crystal and Edward's thoughts kept drifting to their usual location - Bella.

He was missing her. The quiet way her voice carried over the din of the station. The way her smile lit up her face and made him react. How the soft brush of her skin sent tingles and ripples and stirrings all through his body.

He worried too - that she was working too hard and had dark circles under eyes and refused to acknowledge her hardships.

He thought about the pride and humility and gratitude in her expression when she accepted the coat from him. He wanted to do so much more and was already making plans for the future. Like Bella had said in her unsent letter…he knew. He just needed some time.

A glance at the clock from his seat in the corner sent him barrelling towards the door. How had he not realised the time? He pushed his way through the assembled crew of doctors and nerds and secretaries, ignoring the strange looks thrown his way.

Edward rushed through the streets, his mind going a mile a minute. It was time to emerge from the confines of the station. Time to go out. Nowhere fancy, mind you, they wouldn't be dressed for it and he didn't want to make Bella feel uncomfortable. They would go to one of those college hangouts that the interns at work mentioned. Somewhere casual and fun, where they'd talk above the strains of whiny rock songs and eat some greasy food. Maybe share and appetiser and have a beer or two if the place wasn't strict. That thought made him regret not paying better attention to Newton's ramblings about the best pick up joints. They would play some darts; he'd teach her if need be and that brought up a whole new realm of possibilities.

But mostly he would just enjoy her company and soak up the atmosphere. She worked too hard and never mentioned much about the social side of college. It would be good for her to interact more with her peers. She would enjoy it.
Perhaps he would too.

All the years of morning jogs, of pushing himself through the darkest mornings and harshest weather conditions, were finally paying off. He made it from work to the station in under seven minutes. The sky was dark and heavy with clouds and the air was still. By the time he got to the station, rush hour had died down and it was almost deserted. Please God, let her still be here.

Edward took the familiar route to their bench. In the distance he could see a figure on the bench and rejoiced. Another step and he realised she was not alone. Two men, loomed over Bella. She cowered small and alone as one stood behind her and the other touched her ponytail.

The half jog he had began in his haste to see her became a full on sprint, his footsteps slipping and sliding on the recently mopped tiles.

"Hey!" he shouted, just for something to do. The shout died in the rumble of an incoming train.

Bella was struggling, reaching for something in her bag and raising her chin defiantly. He could not hear what she said but saw the men tense in reaction. One grabbed her arm, leaned over and Edward ran faster. The pillar was blocking his view.

Then they ran off, towards the waiting train and it pulled away just as he reached the bench. It would have been pointless for him to chase after the excuses for men, they were gone and he was outnumbered and couldn't afford to get into trouble again, but his instincts still screamed at him to hunt them down.

But one look at Bella and he knew he would not be able to leave her side. Her body was trembling and her eyes were blank. A glob of saliva dripped on the side of her face.

"I waited," she said. "I waited for you."

Thanks for reading! And thanks again for all the kind and helpful reviews for the last chapter. I appreciate them all more than I can say. Apologies for any typos/mistakes above.
I'm hoping you all will be as forthcoming in your thoughts on this chapter.