Robin was sitting in the dark crying while drinking a bottle of whisky. He had needed to be alone after Cyborg had died saving him, so he had left Starfire and Raven to find them a temporary residence while he went out to drown his sorrows in alcohol. He knew he was underage, and he didn't care. He had had his life, friends, and family destroyed; why shouldn't he loose his morals too? He at first had not planned on killing Red X, but in light of every thing that has happened he wasn't sure he wouldn't any more. He had witnessed the deaths of two of his closest friends, the deaths of his family, and had seen the gruesome scene left behind after the death of five other friends. He wanted revenge on SAW, for everything he had done, for everything he had put him through, for everything. He remembered Batman had once told him that revenge was for the foolish and weak, well Robin decided he would rather be foolish and weak than wise and strong if it meant avenging his friends. He was reaching for another bottle when the door opened and he heard

"Robin, are you in here?" He quickly hid the bottles with an old coat that was on the floor before he turned and looked at Starfire.

"I'm in here, what do you want Star," he asked with a scratchy voice. He looked into her glowing green eyes and felt the whisky affecting his vision and coordination because when he tried to stand up he stumbled and his world went fuzzy. Starfire caught him and saw the tip of a bottle sticking out from under the coat. She bent down and moved it and gasped at the three empty bottles and two full ones lying on the ground.

"Oh Robin, what have you done to yourself," She asked concerned. She knew he must be in serious pain if he would resort to drinking.

"I don't want to talk about it Star, just help me to my bed," he slurred slowly. With the help of Starfire he was able to leave the closet and walk down the dirty red hallway of their small apartment to his room at the end of the hall. His room had nothing on the wall and had only his clothes and bed in it. She laid him down and covered him up with a gentleness that was motherly. When she reached the door way on her way out she gave him one last, sad look before closing the door behind her.

It was near ten in the mourning when Robin woke up with a massive head ache. He crawled slowly out of his bed before he remembered what had happened the night before, and what had happened only a few days prior. He dressed in silence before he stumbled out of his room and into the kitchen for breakfast. When he reached the kitchen he noticed Raven was waiting for him with the whisky bottles laid out on the table, and she did not look happy. He knew that Star had told her but he really didn't care, nor did he care that Raven was mad.

"Well look who's finally up," she deadpanned. "Maybe you would like to explain why you were drinking?" She gave him a stare that seamed to bore into his very soul, and it didn't work.

"No mother, I don't want to explain, and I don't have to either. Because you're not my mom and you are not the boss of me, so drop it and leave me alone." He snapped; he did not want to hear what she had to say. He was glad it wasn't Star sitting there asking him these questions because he knew he would feel compelled to answer her. She just had this way of drawing answers out of him. Raven did not have that power and Robin knew that she never would, it just wasn't in her nature. Raven was still sitting there dumbfounded when Robin grabbed one of the bottles and left the building.

Robin was ridding his motorcycle to his special spot that over looked the city, the sight calmed him when he was there, and right now he needed to calm down. When he reached the spot where his hammock was hung he parked his bike and pulled out the whisky. He lay down and took a swig from the glass. He felt the sweat relief of the whisky burning his throat and dulling the pain of his loss. He felt untouchable right now, he missed the time when he always felt like that instead of feeling vulnerable and week all the time. Feeling like he was nothing and had no reason to live. Raven had stopped him from committing suicide the day before, so instead of killing himself he decided he would wash his worries away with alcohol. He had found a shop that was selling to minors and had threatened to turn in the workers and owner unless they had agreed to give him free alcohol when ever he wanted it. He had chosen whisky for its burning sensation; at least that pain went away.

When the bottle was empty he just lay there with his throat burning and head hurting, yet feeling better. He could no longer remember why he had been so sad clearly any more. He knew it had some thing to do with his friends, but he couldn't remember what exactly it was. In the back of his mind he knew that this was just a temporary solution; when the pain came back and he would crave more alcohol and it would just become a vicious cycle. Yet right now it worked, and that's all that mattered to him. He wasn't worrying about Red X, his friends, nothing. It was just him, this hammock, and the scenery around him. The soothing smell of the trees and the flowers, the sound of the birds singing, the mountain spring trickling behind him, and the feel of the warm sun on his face. Robin drifted off into a deep, whisky induced sleep.

(Dream)

He was standing in the living room at Titans Tower. It was still above water and wasn't destroyed by Red X's missiles. He wasn't sure what was happening until he heard a voice from behind him.

"Yo spiky, what up?" Robin turned around and found Beast Boy, Bee, Speedy, Mas y Menos, Aqua lad, and Cyborg sitting around him in a somehow enlarged couch. He couldn't believe what he was seeing, he knew he was dreaming; but this was different than his usual dreams of late. Most of them had been where he lost both Raven and Starfire to Red X in many horrific ways. This was a happy dream, some thing he had not experienced in a while. He had been standing there with his mouth open for a few minutes when Bee said

"You gona just stand there and catch flies, or are you gona give us a hug?" This brought Robin back to "reality" and he hugged all of them.

"I've missed all of you guys so much," he said, fighting back the tears. "I've been doing stuff I'm not proud of, but I bet you know that all ready." He hung his head glumly, how could he have done that to his friends. How could he have tried to forget them, especially Cyborg after the sacrifice he made for him.

"We know, that why were here," Cyborg told him.

"Ya dude, were worried about you. This is not how hero's are supposed to act, especially you," Beast Boy added, earning him glares from the rest of the Titans except Robin, who looked even more ashamed.

"What he's trying to say," Aqua lad added, "Is that you're not acting like yourself. The Robin we knew wouldn't drink, lie, or shout at his friends like you did to Raven. And we want to know why you're doing it." They were all stareing at him expectantly. He knew he had to answer them, he owed it to them. He took a deep breath and began.

"I just wanted to forget. I don't want to feel the pain, because loosing you guys hurt. I can't describe the pain with words because there are certain levels of pain that have none. When you have lost all hope, see no way or reason to live, when your life is crumbling before your eyes and there is nothing you can do to stop it. When you feel like the only way out is death, and then you are where I am." A knot was forming in Robin's throat, making it hard to speak. But he had to answer his friends, he owed them everything. "That's why I've done all this stuff to myself, because I see no way out but death. Raven stopped that so I turned to the next best thing, forgetting." Robin hung his head and started to cry. He heard his reasons and realized how pathetic they really were. He still had friends who cared and wanted to help him, he still had a reason to live, so he had no excuses why he should hurt himself. His friends saw this and smiled.

"I think he finally gets it," Speedy smirked. Mas and Menos rambled some thing off in Spanish that had Robin asking

"What did they say?" While Cyborg, Bee, Mas, and Menos were laughing so hard they couldn't breath. Cyborg activated the translator on his arm and what the twins just said came out in English.

"Now maybe he can pull his head out of his ass and start thinking straight." The rest of them started laughing, even Robin. He knew what they had said was true and that this little talk had helped him realize that. When they all stopped laughing Cyborg checked the clock on his arm, he looked a little worried.

"Hey guys, it's time to go." He told every one and then he looked at Robin "And its time for you to wake up." Robin looked confused.

"What do you mean its time to go? Where are you going?" He didn't understand what that meant and why he had to wake up. Cyborg looked at him and gave him a simple answer.

"Paradise." They all smiled and waved as they disappeared in a soft glow of sparkling light.

(End Dream)

Robin woke up and fell out of his hammock. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and realized that the sun was setting; it hadn't even been noon when he had come up here. He remembered what had happened in his dream, though he wasn't sure if it was a dream. It had felt so real and the fact that the twins spoke in Spanish instead of English in his dream had been weird since he didn't even know Spanish. But he knew what he had to do, and who he had to see. He put on his helmet and raced back to his apartment.