'Katy? Katy! What on earth . . .?'

'You recognise me then, Beth.'

'Of course I do, Katy, we've been neighbours for three years.'

'Ah yes, you know me as Katy, these two know me as the High Priestess Magistra.'

'But . . . where's Gwaine? Where's Arthur? And who are "these two"?'

'So many questions, Beth, but not the right ones.'

I was starting to get VERY annoyed. 'Where . . . is . . . Gwaine . . . and . . . where . . . is . . . Arthur?'

'Beth! This isn't like you.'

She looked very different in this world, wearing a long black tightly corsetted dress, her hair cascading in snaky ringlets either side of her face. Although nowhere near as tall as her shadowy companions, she certainly had more presence than when I saw her in her nurse's outfit, hair scraped back into an untidy bun.

'How about, why the hell have you just put me through all that? I thought you were my friend!'

'Oh I am, back there. And anyway, your arm will heal.'

'It's not my arm I'm worried about.'

Katy had the decency to look slightly ashamed. 'It's this place. It really does bring out the very worst in people.'

'Well if you've quite finished, you can release Gwaine and Arthur and we'll leave you to . . . whatever it is you normally do when you're not working at St Clements.'

Katy laughed. 'Oh I only go there for the drugs and the portal to the Shire.'

'There's a portal to the Shire in St Clements?' I asked, astounded.

'Oh yes. You know where the old smoking room was?'

'Well, I never went there, the whole corridor stank. But they closed it down, didn't they?'

'Of course. But there's a cupboard in that room, and that's a portal to the Shire. As you know, time stands still in our world when we're in this one, so I could pretty much come and go as I pleased and stay here as long as I liked. I assumed you'd found it too when I saw you with Gwaine and Aragorn.'

'No, that was a different route. Just temporary. So how did you find the portal in the hospital?'

'Oh, going back the other way from one of the smials in Hobbiton. I first came through the veil into Camelot, but that first time was not a good experience. Fortunately I found the Shire.'

'So why not just stay in the Shire?'

'Oh I wanted to! I discovered I had some mild healing powers, admittedly not as strong as yours, but what I couldn't heal with my own hands, I could get drugs for from the hospital. I was worshipped by the Hobbits. They loved me.' She was starting to sound slightly manic. 'Beth, I was TALL in the Shire, I tell you, I was their queen! Until HE came along.'

'Who?'

'Gandalf!' She spat out the word.

'Gandalf?'

'Yes! He turned up with his spells and his fireworks - God how I hated his fireworks - and the hobbits all went flocking to him. Didn't want ME any more, I wasn't good enough now they had Gandalf and his fireworks, so I decided to leave the Shire. And that's when I met these two.'

She summoned the two men out of the shadows who obediently joined her, one on either side and then kissed them both fiercely.

'Merlin? Mordred! What the . . .?' I asked. These were the LAST people I was expecting to see.

Katy grinned. 'Well, you didn't think you were the only one who could pull in this world, did you?'

'But BOTH of them? Katy, I really don't understand all this.'

'I never expected you to. I never expected you to understand that being evil is SO much more fun than being nice.'

'Katy!'

'It's true! Ask these guys!' Merlin and Mordred were standing either side of Katy, each with an arm around her waist. It was Mordred who spoke first.

'It's true. Once I'd been banished from Camelot, although they said it was to look after Kilgharrah, but he hated me, there wasn't much of interest for me. Not until I met Katy.'

Then Merlin spoke. 'After Camlann when peace was declared, there was no need for me and my good magic. I was cast aside, not needed, surplus to requirements, a man without a role. Until I joined up with Katy.'

'Katy, these were not evil men!'

'They are now,' and she laughed.

'But why?' I asked, getting a bit tetchy, which was probably not a good idea.

'Because being good is dull, dull, dull.' Mordred and Merlin both nodded. 'Can you imagine how much fun we've had plotting these little tests? It's just a shame you passed them, really. Still, that hardly matters.'

'Hardly matters?' I wrenched against the clasps. 'You had us shot, and what you did to Gwaine-'

'That was just your worst nightmares coming true. We did nothing to your precious Gwaine, even if he was the most . . . interesting of the knights.'

'So where is he then?'

Katy looked slightly shifty. 'As I said, he's safe.'

'You don't know where he is, do you?' Katy refused to reply. 'And they've freed Arthur, haven't they?'

'Well, I'll be glad to see him go, to be honest. He was a bit whiny and couldn't even dress himself properly.'

'And I wasn't going to help him,' Merlin added. 'Not any more. No siree.'

'So what are you going to do now you've lost Arthur?'

'We've still got you.'

'And?'

'You don't think your beloved Gwaine will come back for you? Try to rescue his maid in a tower, his damsel in distress? Wasn't that what he was born for? Well, he can try . . .'

She was mocking me now, but it did make me think. What if Gwaine did come back to try and rescue me? Back into another trap.

Katy looked at me smugly. 'He won't succeed. This tower is invisible to any man. Not even the great Gandalf will be able to find it.'

She had a horrible air of certainty about her.

'So if he doesn't come back-'

'He can't.'

'If he can't come back, what are you going to do with me?'

'Well, to be honest, we didn't think you'd make it this far.

Methinks a fairy you did meet

Whose clues she gave the tasks to beat.

Queen Mab was one for aiding quests

No doubt she helped you beat those tests.

Damn! Why does she make you DO that?' and she folded her arms crossly.

'So you could just let me go,' I suggested hopefully.

'Well, we could, yes, but . . .' she glanced to either side of her, 'But we're not going to do that, are we?'

Merlin and Mordred shook their heads.

I sat back in the chair and waited.

The door burst open and we all turned. A woman was standing there, sword in hand, long blonde hair streaming down her back.

'How did YOU get in? Katy asked.

'I opened the door,' the woman replied.

Katy turned to Merlin and Mordred. 'Which one of you set this spell? Did you specifically say "Man"? Idiots!'

'It was him,' Merlin said, pointing at Mordred.

'It was NOT!' Mordred replied.

As Katy turned her back on Beth and the blonde woman to castigate the two men, the woman took out a dagger and slit the leather bonds.

'Come on,' she hissed, and I followed her down the stairs and out of the tower, clutching my arm as we started to run across the plain.

As no one seemed to be pursuing us, we slowed.

'Thank you,' I said.

'Amateurs,' she muttered. 'Anyway, hello. I'm Éowyn.'

'Éowyn! Of course! I'm Beth,' and we smiled at each other and then continued across the plain towards the forest. 'How did you know I was there?' I asked.

'I take it you were part of a group when you arrived?'

'Yes, Legolas and Aragorn, you know them, don't you?'

'Oh yes.'

'And Gwaine and Percival from Camelot? Do you know them?'

'I certainly do. Percival and I . . .'

'Of course! He said you were called Wyn, I should have worked it out.'

'He spoke of me?' she was blushing.

'He is missing you.'

'A shame I missed them, although I didn't realise it was them that I saw.'

'You saw them? All four?'

'I saw five.'

'Of course, they found Arthur!'

'I should have recognised Percy. You won't tell him, will you?' she laughed. 'Seeing him with Legolas confused me. I do hope he remembered his socks, he does suffer from blisters. Anyway, it was quite odd. They were wandering around aimlessly. Of course, now I know they couldn't see the tower, that makes more sense. One of them, judging by his hair, it must have been Gwaine,' which was reassuring, 'seemed to be refusing to leave at all, but the others dragged him away. So I thought I'd have a quick look in the tower . . . and here we are! Water?' and she offered me a drink from her flask.

As we reached the edge of the plain, we turned. The argument between Katy, Merlin and Mordred seemed to have escalated more than we could possibly have imagined. As we watched, the top of the tower burst into flames and a few moments later three figures ran from the base in the opposite direction to us. The flames started to take on a strange outline and as it turned towards us, we could see it was the shape of an enormous golden eye.

'The eye of Sauron,' she muttered, and then pulled me back into the protection of the forest.