Author's Note--duh, duh duh duh, duh duh duh duh duh duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Author's Note--duh, duh duh duh, duh duh duh duh duh duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. . .i am finally finished with A Moment of Pain, of Freedom. . .i am so sorry for the long wait and I hope you don't hate me. . .i know that I probably should have finished a lot sooner but I hope, somewhere I have some readers still. . .i am working on a new story, I am already writing it, but I wont update very fast because I actually got a job for the summer so sorry. . .please read my new and future stories. . .also, please R&R and tell me what you want to happen in the alternate ending and what you didn't like in this and how I can improve. . .please enjoy. . .the ending alone was 27 pages on when typed up. . .

Disclaimer- - -sadly, I don't own Twilight or any of he characters, but I do own this plot. . .only the wonderful Ms. Stephanie Meyer owns Edward, Bella, and the rest. . .

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Edward's POV

Bella's arm fell straight for her heart. Must save Bella, Must save Bella… The thought repeated over and over in my head. I ran towards her at my full speed. The knife struck her, yet she didn't seem to feel the pain at all. I tackled her to the ground, maybe too harshly. I screamed to her trying to make her conscious again, praying she wasn't dead. I smelt her mouthwatering blood. The monster in me screamed to taste it, to kill her myself, but I loved her too much, I pushed the monster down and kept it quiet. "Bella, Bella, Bella love!" I screamed at her, praying she would answer. Then, she lost all conciseness.

Her pulse was slowing as I picked up my love and ran faster than I ever have straight to Carlisle. In mere seconds, I was in Carlisle's office. As Carlisle started working, I smelt her blood more powerfully. My family burst in. They were all hungry but they were trying to control themselves. All of them looked at Bella and their mouths dropped open. I knew Charlie must be going crazy so in a voice I didn't recognize, I said, "Go talk to Charlie, tell him what happened."

Esme did it, Jasper was going crazy from the pain and the smell of blood. All the emotions weren't helping and Alice was trying to calm him down. Bella's blood was so sweet, I needed it, wanted it, craved it, but I couldn't have it. The monster inside me was clawing at my insides, trying to get out. But, I couldn't get her blood, she was Bella, my Bella. Finally, Jasper snapped and tried to attack Bella. Emmett, Alice, and Jasper left. Emmett looked sadly at me and thought, "Sorry man, I just can't stand seeing my little sis like that." Everyone left (except Carlisle, who was still working) yet, Rosalie stayed. Rosalie whispered in Bella's ear, "Bella, I'm so sorry. You never did anything wrong, I am jealous of your humanity, that's it. I love you, little sister. Please make it through; it'll kill Edward if you don't. He loves you with all his heart, he needs you, and we all do."

Now, I grabbed Bella's right hand and held on tightly. Rosalie held Bella's other hand. I watched my beautiful Bella, and listened to her weak heartbeat. As Carlisle worked, I though of all the things I should be saying to Bella and what I never should have said to her. I also thought of the things I never got a chance to tell her and ask her. Then, bella's face flashed in my mind, right after I told her the lie. The pain in her eyes, she actually believed I didn't want her, her the most wonderful creature I'd ever met, or ever would meet.

My insides were tearing each other apart. If I hadn't told her the lie then this would never have happened. That last look on Bell's face was my last memory of her. I should be telling my love what she means to me and how much I need her. How much I love her and how I lied to her to save her from my life but failed. I should be saying this but I couldn't get my mouth to move. All I could do was stare at my beautiful angel and listen to her weak heartbeat.

I don't know how long it had been: weeks, days, seconds, hours, even still I never left bella's side and Rosalie never left my side. I don't know if she was really sad for Bella or if she was just feeling guilty about bella's final note to her, either way, she stayed. Rosalie kept assuring me that Bella would pull through but I didn't listen. What if she was wrong, Bella had been through so much with me. First, I nearly kill her, then she's almost attacked by James then, jasper attacks her. She's seen two people killed in front of her, oh Bella. Why you, why did all of this happen to you. You are so perfect. Why you my angel, my love.

Then, I realized I had been mumbling," Bella. . .Bella. . .love. . .why. . .please. . ." this whole time in a soft, pleading voice. Finally, Carlisle spoke. "Edward. Umm, I'm sorry but I can't do anything for Bella. She pierced the middle of her heart. She just lost too much blood. It isn't your fault, you were just trying to give her a clean break.

As I heard Carlisle say those words my entire universe shattered. I must be able to save my love, to save Bella. Rosalie stopped breathing, Carlisle's eyes showed nothing but regret and sympathy.

"Is there no way to save her? Can I do nothing? I'll do anything!" I begged. Rosalie turned and started to sob tearlessly. Carlisle cautiously said," Well, the only thing that can save her is if you change her. It's your choice Edward. I can't do it. You must make your decision fast, she doesn't have much time left." I knew he was right. I could hear her weak heart beat slowing. What should I do. . .save Bella's life but damn her soul or let her die. I couldn't let Bella die but I couldn't damn her soul. God, please help me, what should I do? "Bella, please know that I love you, with all my heart. I only left to give you a chance at a normal life. You are my life, you are the reason for my existence. Please, I know what you've been through, I know that I'm the reason you're here but please, please pull through. I am nothing without you!" Bella's eyelids fluttered a little, she was trying to pull through.

As she tried to speak, her heart slowed even more. What to do? Bella, love, I can't live without you. "Forgive me, I love you Bella." I said regretfully as I bent down and bit her soft neck. Her blood was so sweet, it was even better than it smelled and how I remembered it, much, much, much better. The venom from my teeth spurted into her blood stream. However, I could not stop drinking her blood was too perfect, I had to stop. I reluctantly pulled away and then the pain was too much for Bella, she finally felt the pain.

Bella's eyes fluttered open and she began panting. Bella's desperate eyes found me and her eyes filled with pain, love, and sorrow. I knew I was the reason for all of those things. I hated myself for causing her all of these things and for damning her soul. I grabbed her hand and held on tightly. "Edward. . .love. . .you. . .don't. . .hate me. . .continue. . .living. . ." Bella said between pants in a desperate, yet beautiful voice. I was so happy that she was awake that I didn't pay attention to her heart rate. She took a couple more breaths and smiled slightly. She closed her eyes and her heart stopped. The life left her and she was no more

No, not my Bella. She couldn't be dead. I listened again for the beautiful music that was her heartbeat; it was gone. I would never hear it again.

"No! Bella please, love, Bella wake up. Bella!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I grabbed her body and held her close to me. I wouldn't except it, Bella couldn't be. . .I couldn't say the evil word.