Chapter 11:

Continuing Alone

Esposito immediately made the direct route to Castle's apartment upon departing from Kate's. Although he would never admit it out loud, his heart was breaking for the two of them. They both clearly cared deeply for one another. He just wished that they both would come to their senses and stop being so stubborn about seeing it. He had Castle to think about now, and a promise to fulfill.

Reaching the loft, he pulled out his phone and dialed Castle's number. After a few rings, Alexis answered.

"Hey, it's Esposito. Can you let me in?" he said quickly, ignoring Alexis's greeting.

"Sure, Detective. Where's Kate? She was supposed to be here this morning before she left for her appointment. She never showed, and Dad is really worried."

"I'm here to talk to him about it, actually. There's been a change of plans."

"Is she okay? Did something happen to her?"

"Nah, she's fine. Don't worry. I'll explain everything to your dad when I get inside."

It didn't take long for Esposito to make it up to Castle's doorstep, but Alexis was already waiting outside the door to greet him. Her arms were crossed, and she wore an anxious expression on her face.

"He won't calm down," she began, the worry she was feeling seeping through. "Beckett won't answer her phone, and he's all twisted. He refuses to leave without at least talking to her first and seeing if she really is all right. I told him she's fine, but he refuses to believe me."

"You have to know she'd be here if she could," he replied, trying to reassure her. "But Montgomery has every right to pull her for not showing up. You have to know we'll do everything we can to protect him."

Alexis sighed. "I do. I trust you. I just felt happier and more reassured when she was going to look after him."

Esposito scoffed. "And why is that? Are you afraid that he'll somehow get himself into trouble?"

Alexis shook her head. "No. I guess I'm more okay with her because she's so invested in him. He's invested in her as well. They kind of watch out for each other. I've never seen my dad so happy with anything before. Ever since he met Beckett, it's like a light switched on inside of him. He's focused. He seems happy to get up in the morning and go to the precinct because he enjoys being involved in something bigger than he is. I'm grateful for that. I'm just afraid that if something happens and she's not there to protect him, something inside him will break."

"Alexis, you've got to give your dad more credit than that. Look, Beckett's like a sister to me. You didn't get to see it this morning, but when we went to go get her, she was a wreck. She's been extremely worried about him and this case, making sure every detail is perfect so that he doesn't get hurt. She cares for him too, although she probably will never admit it. Look, I'll tell you the exact same thing I told Beckett this morning: I promise you that Ryan and I will do everything in our power to make sure he comes home safe."

"Is there a way that Beckett can still be involved in the case without really being involved in anything?"

"Not really. I would prefer to spare you the details, but your dad is going undercover as a stripper. The only way she'd even be able to get near him is by either coming to the club, or buying private dances."

Alexis held up a hand to stop him. "Okay, eww. Sorry I even asked."

"Yeah, sorry kiddo. We'll figure something out. Don't worry."

Alexis moved out of the way then, granting Esposito access to the apartment.

"I think he's in the study," she told him as she started up the stairs to her bedroom, "that's where I saw him last."

Esposito walked briskly to the study, bracing himself mentally for what he would find there. Castle stood at the window, staring out into the city.

"She won't answer her phone," he began, the tone in his voice almost broken. "I need to talk to her…hear her voice. I need to know she's all right. I can't do this without it."

"I know," Esposito responded softly, pulling out his phone and dialing Kate's number. "I'll see what I can do for you."

When Kate picked up, Esposito rushed to stop her from disconnecting the call. "Kate, please talk to him. He won't do this unless you talk to him first."

There was a heavy sigh on the other end before she answered. "Javier, I screwed up today. I'm supposed to be the one protecting him, not you or Ryan. I'm ashamed. I don't know what I'm supposed to tell him."

"Why don't you be completely honest for once in your life? Tell him how you feel."

"Because I don't really know how I feel about him? I guess I was using this case to help me figure that out."

Esposito sighed. "I'm going to hand over the phone now. Please talk to him."

Handing Castle the phone, he watched the writer hesitate before answering.

"Kate?" he asked softly. "What's wrong? Did I do something…?"

"No," she rushed to reassure him. "You didn't. You've been great this whole time."

"Then what's wrong? Esposito says you're no longer working this case with me. Did something happen?"

"Not really. I just had a lot of trouble going to sleep last night. This case is huge, and I guess that I was a little worried that we might not be able to pull this off. Listen, you'll be fine with Ryan and Esposito. They're going to be informing me about everything anyway."

"I know, I heard. I just wanted you to be here with me. I've never done this before. You're my partner. You're supposed to have my back. I want you."

I want you.

Those three little words sent chills down her spine. She knew he didn't mean it the way that it sounded, but she couldn't help thinking that way. Damn, this man had an effect on her. If he were here in person, she was sure she would jump his bones. Her mind flashed to their last kiss they shared, and she reveled in the passion for a moment. She could almost feel his lips on hers, body pressing as close as he dared…

"Kate? Are you still there?"

Shaking herself mentally, she rushed to answer, damning herself for how aroused she sounded. "Yeah, I'm still here. I'm busy with housework. I've been kind of neglecting it lately."

"Can I come see you later? After my audition, I mean? I'd really like to see you."

"Castle, you just saw me yesterday."

"I know, but I'm nervous. Being around you would help me calm down."

"All right then. Come by if you can. I'll be around. If I don't answer, you have my number. Good luck today."

"Thanks. And Kate?"

"Hmm?"

"I meant what I said earlier. I do want you."

After that, he hung up the phone, leaving Beckett to do nothing but stare at it. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest.

Oh shit, she cursed herself. What are we doing?

A/N: Another fantastic update before work! Thanks to all who have reviewed, favorited me or my story, or put this on alert. You guys all make me smile. Sorry if this chapter was kind of slow, but the next one involves his AUDITION! Hope he makes it…..