Hello everyone! Once again, I'm sorry that I'm only updating now... It's late, I know and I haven't posted anything in weeks. Considering this story will be very long and that I'm rather busy with school, I can't write all the time but I can promise you that I will finish this story, no matter what! I don't know how long it will take and how many chapters it will have, but I can assure you that I'm not giving up on it.
Anyway, time to thank people! First of all, I want to thank my amazing beta, Nevermoreheaven, who corrected this chapter as soon as she got her hands on it. You're amazing! Then, I want to thank everyone who leaves a review, particularly yourslytherin2 and TheCandyChild. Your comments really help me find the courage to write even when I can't find my motivation. Thank you so much.
Also, I want to thank everyone who favorites or follows my story. It means the world to me.
This story reached 2500 views, which is more than I ever thought it would have. I love you all so much.

So here you go for chapter 11! I'll try to write the 12th faster, I promise.

Enjoy!

Cas stared at the woman in horror. Her expression was scary and she was excessively appalling.

When she made a move on them, Dean reacted quickly, reaching back for a knife in the tent. He rushed her. Cas wondered if he knew what kind of creature she was. The angel wanted to help, but he didn't know how. He had no idea how to get rid of the woman. Besides, her human appearance made it harder for him to think about killing her.

It did not seem to bother Dean, who jumped on her. She avoided the blow nimbly and snarled. She reminded Cas of a snake, testing its prey and waiting for the right moment to attack.

Dean didn't dare trying to stab her again, she was expecting him this time, and it could go as bad for him as it could for her.

Cas was scared to interfere, knowing he could only make it worse. Dean could lose the advantage, Cas would be in danger, making Dean want to protect him.

Interfering definitely was a bad idea.

Dean and the woman kept staring at each other, barely moving, waiting for an opening, a sign of distraction from the other. They both knew only one of them would come out alive, and neither of them seemed ready to give up yet.

Cas would have rathered die than let Dean get hurt.

But the angel wasn't expecting the woman to glance at him with her red, lifeless eyes. Her face was twisted, but she wasn't smiling, she was glaring, and she looked about to bounce him.

Dean hurriedly tried to stab her again, as soon as he saw her target had changed. Except, she knew he was coming this time, only pretending to turn her interest on Castiel to be able to surprise Dean. She knew he would try to help his partner and let his guard down.

She squatted and very quickly maneuvered around Dean, grabbing both his arms and pinning them to his sides with a surprising strength.

Before Dean could make any move to push her away, she sank her teeth in the skin of his neck.

Cas opened wide eyes and rushed out of the tent. "No!"

Dean winced and tried to get away, but wiggling only caused him more pain. He groaned and looked at Cas.

Dean's face was even paler than before and Cas could read in his eyes all the fear and exhaustion he felt. The angel couldn't tolerate this. Dean being in pain was one of the things he feared the most. All he had ever wanted was for him to be fine. This woman was killing him and Cas was just standing, staring, dumbstruck.

That was before he let rage take over.

He frowned and growled deeply. "Get away from him..."

The woman didn't even deign looking at him and kept sucking Dean's blood. She completely ignored him.

Cas let his instinct do the rest. For a moment, he felt like his body didn't even belong to him anymore.

Images of death and destruction flashed before his eyes. He saw his village being burned to the ground, his brother telling him to run, giving his life so he and his sister could get out alive. He saw Anna laying lifeless on the ground, with glassy, empty eyes gazing listlessly. He saw the woman on the scaffold, every innocent angel they had killed. He saw Dean dying.

Before he even knew it, he was yelling, his voice firm and steady. "I said get away from him!"

Despite how busy she was with drinking Dean's blood, the woman froze.

Cas raised a hand, his palm facing the woman. If anyone had asked him why he was doing this, he would have been unable to give a proper answer. He didn't really think anymore. Not when Dean's life was at stake. All he knew was that every part of his body was screaming that he had to do something, and his brain felt like it was on fire.

All it took was an impulse of anger, a urge to protect the person he loved, and the woman went flying against the closest tree, with so much force that the bark broke under her weight.

Cas couldn't have stopped here, even if he had wanted to. He couldn't control his body, or his emotions. He got closer to the woman, who was still pinned to the tree, letting out whines of agony.

"I warned you. I told you to leave him alone..." Cas said darkly, his body trembling with rage and hatred towards the creature.

She didn't even answer. She snarled at him again. If she had begged for mercy, maybe he would have granted her. Yet, she chose to act like an animal.

It made it easier for Castiel to break her neck with a snap of his fingers.

She let out one last choked, raspy gasp, and fell limply on the floor. Cas stared at her for a moment, the realization of what he had just done starting to sink in.

"Cas?" Dean's voice said, sounding hesitant.

Cas was breathing a bit faster now that he understood he had just murdered someone in cold blood and that it had felt like the most natural thing ever. He couldn't look at Dean. Not after that. He wasn't worthy.

"Cas..." Dean pressed again, sounding a little steadier. "Is she dead?"

Did Castiel really want to answer this question? He guessed he couldn't hide it forever anyway, but he didn't want Dean to be scared of him, repulsed by what he had done, so Cas turned around slowly, looking pitiful.

"Yes Dean, she is..." He whispered and looked down. He would not stand to see fear in Dean's eyes, especially if it was directed at him.

"Did you cut her hea-..." Dean started but he was cut off by something.

Cas needed to see what, so he looked up at him. His heart went crashing down. Dean's eyes really were full of fright and surprise.

However, it wasn't directed at him.

"Watch out!" The hunter warned, quickly grabbing his knife again and running to Cas.

For a minute, the angel thought he was going to kill him. If it was what Dean wanted to do, Cas would let him.

Dean didn't kill him. Instead he pushed Cas out of the way and pushed his knife in the woman's throat, who had gotten back up and had positioned herself, ready to jump on Cas from behind.

The angel watched as Dean cut off her head in what was supposed to be a swift movement. Yet, his knife was too short and he had to make several tries.

Cas thought he was going to be sick.

It was something to know that she wasn't human. It was something else to see someone who looked very human get beheaded.

Blood was staining Dean's clothes, most of it wasn't his own. Cas felt dirty too, and not only because his coat had been splashed as well. Killing like that, so savagely, felt impure. This whole place made him feel insecure and filthy.

Cas' hands were shaking and his head was spinning. It was almost as if using his powers had taken a part of him and drained his energy. Even now, it was asking for more.

The angel stared as Dean finished with the woman. He was panting and the wound on his neck was bleeding abundantly. Cas was getting worried.

When Dean turned to him though, Cas immediately looked down, unable to stand his gaze.

"Hey..." The hunter started, taking a step forward. "Cas, you were amazing. I should have told you though, we need to cut their head off for them to properly die. They're called vampires. Bastards."

Cas looked up at Dean, surprised. He didn't sound scared anymore, he didn't even remotely seem surprised. He was looking at him like he always had, as if nothing had changed.

"Dean I... I'm not sure what happened." Cas said quietly.

Dean grinned, but it looked more like a wince of pain. "Dunno, but damn, it was amazing."

"It was scary. I couldn't control it." Cas whispered pitifully.

"Like hell you couldn't control it, you saved my life!" Dean exclaimed.

Cas nodded although he was still unconvinced. It only made Dean walk to him and touch his arm gently. "Hey Cas, it's fine."

The angel sighed and Dean pulled him into his arms. "What is it? C'mon Cas, I know you think you did something wrong, I can see it on your face..."

"I... I did. Dean, I snapped that woman's neck and I didn't even feel anything!"

"Baby, you killed a monster, it doesn't make you bad."

"I'm not sure it would have changed anything if she hadn't been a vampire..."

"Why?"

"Because she attacked you."

Dean smiled. "Aw, that's cute."

Cas frowned. "No, Dean. That's not cute." He pulled away from the hunter and looked at the wound on his neck. There wasn't any hunger left in Cas' heart. It had been replaced by care and concern.

Once again, he acted instinctively and delicately pressed his hand to Dean's neck. The green eyed man winced but relaxed suddenly.

"What are you-..." Dean gasped.

Cas' palm was glowing, sending a comforting warmth that spread through Dean's body. When the angel took his hand away, the wound was gone, there wasn't even a drop of blood left on his skin.

"The hell?!" Dean exclaimed, lightly touching his neck with his fingers, staring at them with shock when they came back clean. His neck didn't hurt anymore.

Cas took a step back, wondering if Dean thought he was abnormal, if he started to fear him.

Instead, he looked at him with incredulity mixed with amazement. "Wow Cas, you're... How did you do that?"

Cas shook his head. "I don't know... I just didn't want you to be in pain."

"Damn you weren't kidding about your powers! First that badass move with the vamp and now magical healing? Fuck, you're amazing!" Dean grinned happily.

Cas frowned slightly and cocked his head to the side. "So it doesn't... disturb you?"

Dean chuckled. "Man, you can save lives, there's nothing disturbing about that!"

"But I killed that woman..." Cas protested, feeling worse and worse about himself.

Dean rolled his eyes. "God, that's what's bothering you? So first of all, you did it to save my sorry ass, I would have done the exact same thing for you without hesitation. Second, she wasn't even human. Finally, I cut her head off, technically I killed her."

The angel couldn't help but smile a little at Dean's attempt to make him feel less guilty.

Dean grinned when he noticed his words had some effect after all. "See, this is something I like to see." He cupped Cas' face with one hand and rubbed his thumb on his cheek.

"You have to stop worrying so much." Dean said. "We're surrounded by bad things lately and you are... You are doing miracles. Your powers are one of the only good things that happened to us in a long time. Let's not complain, alright?"

Cas nodded. He had to admit that Dean was right in a way.

"I hate to break it to you but I think we should get going. I am not spending another night in that fucking place." The hunter added after a moment, letting go of Cas' cheek.

They hurried to gather their stuff, to dismantle the tent and to get back on their horses. Dean and Cas both knew that if they wasted time, they were done for. The few monsters that hadn't been able to cross their protecting spells last night had had time to study them at least. There was no doubt there wouldn't be much left of their tent -or their bodies for that matter- to find in the morning if they happened to spend another night in the woods.

Once they started walking, Cas finally took some time to look around.

It was still pretty dark, the sun was just rising in the distance, painting the sky with light orange. It was beautiful. The shapes of the mountains afar, shadows contrasting with the warm light of the rising day.

Above their heads, the moon was still bright. The polar star the only star left in the sky. The clouds, dark and in very little number were giving Castiel the impression the world was suddenly in two dimensions. Only shadows and light, landscapes and shapes.

Castiel was glad such a sight was offered to them in the morning. After such a tough night, they deserved to see something like that.

The wind was still cool and no matter how tight Cas tried to wrap himself in his coat, the cold seemed to get right through his clothes, freezing him to the core.

He shivered, wishing he could snuggle against Dean to warm up. Athena was already sharing some of her body heat with him, but the air was too cold for it to be enough. Cas sighed, his breath creating a little cloud of mist. It was going to be a long day and they absolutely had to get out of those woods.

Cas hadn't said anything to Dean, but he felt exhausted. They had just woken up and yet, he felt like he could sleep for a week. He thought he knew the reason of his tiredness and if he was right, he could definitely not tell Dean about it. Using his powers apparently came with a price.

They rode quietly for a while. Dean was unusually silent and looked tense. Cas wanted to ask if something was wrong but he knew he wouldn't really get an answer.

Around them, the forest was slowly waking up. The frightening whispers of the night replaced by soft rustling of leaves. The Woods of Mirages were always characteristically soundless except for the wind and creatures living in them. There was no bird song, no calming buzz of running water, no flap of wings above their heads.

The floor was covered of a thin, white fog, snaking through the trees like a predator tightening its grip on its prey, squeezing to choke it. Castiel felt oppressed and insecure. The trees roots were barely visible anymore. Fuego's legs, walking in front of Athena were slowly swallowed by the mist. It was rising and Cas really did not want to think about how this place would look with thick and dense fog, making it impossible to see, hiding the path beneath them and all the monsters between the trees.

They had to get out of here as soon as possible.

Dean seemed to have come up with the same decision.

"We should hurry." He said, pushing his heels into Fuego's flanks to make him jog.

Breaking into a canter here was too dangerous. The visibility was far from good and the path was narrowed.

Cas internally prayed that Athena wouldn't stumble on a rock hidden by the mist. He tried to sit in his saddle in rhythm with Athena's pace but it was rather uncomfortable. Athena herself didn't seem to want to go too fast without knowing where she laid her hooves.

Cas felt like they were walking on a cloud. Except this cloud was rising and had now reached the horses' knees.

The angel wondered what would be left of them if the fog ultimately managed to swallow them whole. He had no doubt all the creatures lurking in the dark would not miss such an occasion to slaughter them.

Dean seemed to grow nervous as well and kept looking around.

Soon, the fog got so high, Athena's head was the only part of her body left to see. If Cas' legs had disappeared too, his anxiousness hadn't.

He focused on his mare's pace, trying not to get too nervous. Beside him, Dean suddenly straightened up on his saddle. "Look!" He exclaimed, pointing right in front of them. "We're almost there! I can see fields in the distance! We're almost out!"

Cas' heart started to race in his chest in hope. They were almost out. Yet, this temporary relief didn't last very long.

As soon as Dean had finished talking, almost as if the woods had heard him, things started to move around them. The branches whispered, closing in on them. The forest was trying to keep them in.

Cas really thought he was going to have another panic attack at the thought. What if they could never leave this place? What if it kept them here forever?

He didn't have much time to think though, because a lot of things happened really fast. He saw Dean pull out a rifle the moment he noticed something jump above them.

"Wendigos!" Dean warned, now holding the reins with one hand, trusting Fuego to run away from danger.

Cas tensed, knowing how dangerous they were. For now, all he could see were blurry shapes jumping from one tree to the other at impressive speed. The trees shuddered under their weight and the branches clashed against each other and broke with a sinister noise.

The angel reflexively pressed Athena's flanks a little more. The horse, ears back and flat on her head, hurried to comply and sped up.

Suddenly, Fuego swerved brutally in front of Athena, almost knocking Dean over his back. Cas gasped when he saw what had caused that reaction.

In front of him, staring at them with red and bloody eyes, stood something that barely looked human. It wasn't standing upright and was so scrawny its skin seemed to lay directly on its bones. Cas could have sworn there wasn't even any skin on some of the bones of its torso, the wounds gaping but barely bleeding, as if it were already long dead and had been resurrected by very dark and dreadful witchcraft. Its arms were way too long to be proportional to the rest of its body. It had claws instead of nails, and blood was trickling from them. It looked too much like a disarticulated body for Castiel's liking.

Its head was terrifying. Its nose looked like it had been teared out of its face. It was almost hairless, and was covered in scars. Some wounds were still opened, rotting and looked in no haste to heal. Cas was sure they couldn't heal anymore, similar to dead mens injuries, staying open until the skin slowly starts to decay.

Mouth hanging open, revealing two ranks of ghoulish, dark teeth, it let out an otherworldly shriek. It send a putrid smell in Cas' direction although he was standing a few feet away from it. The flesh of its cheeks was ripped and tattered. Its jaw opened too wide, as if the bones were broken and the creature was no longer following any natural rule. It was alive when it was supposed to be long dead. The bones of its neck creaked when it turned its head to look at Castiel, freezing him in indescribable fear.

Frozen in a gruesome rictus, the monster's lips were stretched around its teeth, unable to close its mouth anymore. Castiel couldn't help but think that the wendigo looked a lot like an even more foetid version of a walking and putrefying carrion.

Its eyes, glassy and empty, focused on Castiel for what felt like ages. It was like looking straight into a black hole, where you could see nothing but desolation and misery. Cas could have sworn he heard hair-raising screams of its last victims, that he could see all the horrors it had done during its unnaturally long life and the angel knew that very few people came out of those woods alive after crossing paths with a wendigo. He at least knew that the memory of this vision would haunt his nights for quite a while.

If Dean hadn't shot the beast in the neck, Castiel would probably have been ripped apart.

"Run!" Dean yelled, kicking his horse into a canter.

The creature screeched and disappeared in a second, jumping back in a tree. How it did not die after Dean's attack, Castiel didn't know, but it looked very much alive when it tried to swipe Dean off his horse.

Cas reacted on instinct, once again. He raised his hand and shouted, "No!" before using his grace and sending the wendigo crash against the nearest tree. The angel's ears started to ring immediately after that and his eyelids felt heavy, but he did his best to stay concentrated. Dean was shouting at him to go faster.

The closer they got to the forest's edge, the louder were the screeches and the more numerous were the creatures. The wendigo Cas had pushed away had unsteadily gotten back up and had disappeared again in a few seconds.

It didn't take long for Cas to understand that there was more than one wendigo around. It was hard to determine exactly how many they were, but the angel counted at least three. They were moving so fast, it looked like there were dozens of them.

Cas knew that if they let their guard down for a second they would die. Panic seized him at the thought. He didn't want to die. Not like that. More importantly, he did not want Dean to die.

The wendigos, even in small number, were surrounding them, observing, waiting for an opportunity to eat them alive. Cas was terrified and he knew he would have given anything in exchange for a way out of this place.

When an unusually close shriek resounded next to them, Cas saw Fuego rear with a neigh of fear. Dean yelped and fell off his back.

"Dean!" Cas cried, paralysed in horror.

The angel didn't think and stopped Athena. The mare snorted, flapping her tail nervously, visibly reluctant to follow Cas' order. She stopped anyway and turned around when Cas made her.

He stared at the spot he had last seen Dean. He was gone.

Or he couldn't see him anymore. The fog was so thick now, he wouldn't even have known if Dean had been laying on the floor right in front of him.

He couldn't see anything anymore. The trees around him were nothing but scary shadows and branches didn't seem to be moving no more.

That's when he noticed it. The silence. Even thicker than the fog.

The rustling of the leaves had ceased. The screeches could not be heard anymore. Even the wind had stopped blowing.

It was as if the world had stopped and time was frozen. Castiel was trapped in a white, sealed Hell.

And he had just lost everything.

Now that he was here, stuck in this horrible situation, he realized that the silence was the worst noise of them all. It was a faithful representation of his feelings though. Quiet and empty.

Almost as if everything had been erased in a second. All it had taken was a startled horse and a fall.

Dean had been here to catch Castiel when he had fallen and Castiel had just let Dean crash.

He felt like nothing was worth it anymore, like even the forest had decided to turn its back on him, leaving him alone with his remorses and crushed feelings.

"Dean?" He called hesitantly, his voice shaking.

Nothing answered but the overwhelming and deafening sound of his heart, hammering in his chest. He felt like crying and giving up all at once.

"Dean!" Cas tried again, yelling this time.

Nothing.

The angel's breath quickened as panic took entire possession of him.

He heard something creak next to him. He turned around and was met with a face, so hideous and close to his, he couldn't help but scream in pure terror.

Looking into the wendigo's eyes was like diving in a lake of horrors. He could see madness, he could see violence and blood. He could see hunger.

The creature opened its disproportionate mouth and howled again. There was blood on its teeth. It looked fresh. Was it Dean's?

Castiel was going to be sick.

He didn't notice when tears started to roll on his cheeks, almost freezing as soon as they left his eyes because of the cool air.

He supposed it was the end.

He was going to die, with pictures of death as the last thing he ever saw. The smell of hundreds of cadavers as the last thing he smelled. His worst failure as the last thing he did.

Castiel was willing to let himself die. Without Dean, nothing made sense anymore. Nothing mattered.

He saw the wendigo bounce him and closed his eyes tight. He couldn't help but cry out at the sharp pain he felt when the creature bit him, strong jaw closing tightly around his arm.

Nobody was coming to help. Nobody would find their bodies. Nobody would ever know.

Cas let his thoughts drift off to Dean.

Dean and his warm smile, his green, sparkling eyes, his arms holding him close at night. He thought about how good he felt when he was with him. How safe. Warmth spread through the angel's body, tears streaming down his cheeks as the memory of the man he loved helped him forget the pain.

Castiel gave up.

So, any thoughts? Don't hesitate to tell me your opinion about the chapter or the story in general in the comments!