So, it took me a while to write this chapter since it's kind of an important one. Here you have the whole story before Stefan came down to Mystic Falls written in his own way.

I hope you get to enjoy it and of course it would mean a lot if you decide to share your opinion on it. Have a nice time reading. ((:

Elena's POV

Stefan gave me his black notebook on Wednesday next week. He still looked sad and pale but better than when I last saw him. He said he has no desire of talking about it after I read it and that he's apologizing for the way he wrote it. The words weren't coming easily to him when this matter was concerned. He didn't add anything, only held my hand tight, desperately, as if he was trying to say "Please understand me, it's hard for me". And I did. I knew he needed his time right now so I kissed him on the cheek after everyone else have already gone back to class and let him go. I watched his bended figure slowly disappear around the corner.

I couldn't wait until my last class was over and rushed back home. Jenna was a little surprised to see me in such a hurry and thought something was wrong but I cut her off, maybe a little to rudely and got up in my room, closed the door and jumped in bed with the notebook in my hands. It took me a few minutes before I opened it. I realized I was eager to read it but this wasn't a TV show-this was someone's life. A real person's experience that left him broken and full of scars just like I was. There was nothing to get excited about-it was only sadly serious. It was his reality.

I sighed and opened it, slowly, as if I was afraid I was opening a door without asking.

Dear diary,

I recently met a girl, who, in her desire to help me, advised me to write out whatever was going on inside me and because I do respect her as a person very much I'm gonna try and do that even though I'm not sure what would turn out of it. Talking or even writing about what happened to me is very hard and if you could see my room now you would notice that it's full of ripped out pages from this notebook and that would give you a pretty good idea of how I feel inside-my life is a mess, with thoughts thrown around in every corner of my simple and unsatisfying existence. Anyway, because of her, as I have already said, I'll try, so forgive me if there are some words which don't fit or if something doesn't make sense. I'm giving my best.

I should probably start by saying that my life got its meaning by discovering what love is and later got ruined by the exact same thing. I feel lucky and proud that I got to fall in love. That is one of the best things that could happen to us ever in life and I'm grateful I got to experience it at such a young age. I still have hope that it could maybe happen again.

I don't know how to describe the process of falling in love, though. When I go back and think about it I consider it to be an overnight thing. Something that doesn't require much thought. Other times I see it as the long process of letting this special feeling into your whole human being. Whatever it is, I only know it's complicated.

Anyway, I better start getting to the point before I bore you to death. My story isn't something extraordinary if I have to be completely honest. It's quite cliché actually. I met her at my best friend's Dylan birthday party. I was a very lonesome person and I didn't really like talking to other people. If I haven't known Dylan from the moment I could walk, I probably wouldn't have any friends at all. I liked being by myself, that has never bothered me. After my mother's death I have become even quieter and lost in thoughts. In other words: I wasn't a boy who girls would notice. Yeah, I have recently started playing for the high school basketball team, but I knew girls preferred the hot football quarterbacks. I was a simple poor not at all good looking guy so you can understand my amusement when she started talking to me. I was suddenly drown to her beauty-she looked simple, yet amazing. I don't recall very good what we started discussing, because I kept staring at her in the next hour or so and I only learned her name after we've decided to go out to the front porch since it was too noisy inside. I still can't figure out what happened to me back then. I only know it was fast and it hit me as a hurricane. When I got back home I couldn't say a word, which got even my brother suspicious.

Her name was Anna Williams. She was living a few blocks away from me, in the same bad neighborhood filled with angry and sick from life poor middle-class working people. I don't know why I haven't noticed her before, but then again, we didn't have any classes together and the only thing I was doing was play basketball for four-five hours after school and get home right after that. She said she spends most of her time in the library and read a lot since her dream was to become a doctor. There wasn't any chance we could've met each other before.

Anyway, after our nice talk that evening I couldn't help myself-I just wanted to see her and talk to her again. Dylan said I'm really a love-struck fool and something needed to be done about it. So he practically dragged me to the library a few days later, found out where she was sitting and pushed me over there. I was so shy that I turned red as soon as I saw her. At first she didn't notice me, but after forty minutes of me staring intensely she finally lift her look up. As she recognized me a big smile appeared on her face. If it was any possible I turned even more red and stuttered as I said her "Hi" . We talked a lot again and even got together on the bus back home.

That continued repeating for more than two weeks. I was perfectly ok with taking things slowly-she was the first girl I had real feelings for and I had no intentions of screwing it all up. She was very kind, extremely honest, bright and caring. I loved all of her character traits. I loved the person she was. Her beauty on the inside was incomparable. What I most appreciated in her was her compassion. She thought me to be like that too and I'm glad I kept this in myself, because it meant a part of her is still living somewhere inside me. She's not forgotten, nor completely gone, even though she left this earth more than an year ago.

Eventually I found the guts to ask her out. It was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. I remember waking up that morning all sweated up and worried. I probably combed my hair at least a dozen times and put my best shirt on. I wasn't used to feeling like that. I was usually very calm and kept my emotions to myself. She laughed a lot at my question and that got me even more concerned, but after that she hugged me and said yes. She added I looked so funny it was hard to resist herself. So, we went out on our first date and from there on everything between us only grew stronger.

I fell completely in love. What's there more to add? I was happy, I was satisfied. For the first time in forever grief didn't fill my whole existence. I started finding sense in life again. Moreover-I enjoyed it all.

I still believe it was the best part of my pathetic existence.

But happiness doesn't last forever. Life changes all the time and takes it all away. God, how much I wish we could stay like this forever. But I'm smart enough to know now that such thing doesn't exist.

Our lives got complicated. I had to start working because my brother couldn't keep supporting both of us. He was engaged and soon to be married, plus bills needed to be paid. I had this natural talent of carving things from wood and constructing stuff so Damon took me to a factory a little outside town where he had connections and got me the job. I started working every day after school and I had less time to see her. That didn't really matter because she got a job in a small diner in our neighborhood a few weeks after me. Her father has left them when she was very little and her mother has recently got sick so she had no other choice. I helped her whenever I could and in my free days I would go to the diner and work for her so she could study.

I realize now that this was the time we started really growing up. We took great responsibilities, for us, for our families. Other people relied on us, we couldn't be the little love-struck kids anymore. We carried a big weight upon our shoulders and we became part of the working-class society we were up until now observing with a hope for change and denial that we will be getting home at midnight tired as hell, unable to even more freely because our back would hurt.

It was a hard time for both of us and we desperately needed each other. The lack to time made our love even stronger, though. Every other minute we could spend was a precious gift. Each kiss had its special meaning, every night I slept next to her was as if a dream of mine has come true. We learned to appreciate the little things in life and that was enough for us.

But I've learned that in life whenever you seemed to have found ground under your feet, things change again, and turn you upside down.

Anna had a brother-Mark. He was the opposite of her-irresponsible, careless and harsh on people. Anna has done everything in her power to keep him out of troubles but a little after we started our junior year he started disappearing. He dropped out of school and continued coming home late or even not getting there at all for days, if not weeks. He was hanging out with some bad people, which resulted in him hitting rock bottom. Anna was very worried since in her family things were at the worst-her mother was getting sick every now and then and she had to maintain some kind of balance in her own life. Because she was going through hell I couldn't just leave things like that so I started trying to find ways and help her. Dylan and me- we would look everywhere for Mark. We even got ourselves in some bad situations while doing so, but in the end we found out he was selling drugs for one of the local "gangs" and has even started taking some.

When I told Anna she refused to believe me. We got into a very big fight and almost split up. After a week of not talking to each other she came to my backdoor crying, saying that Mark got home, obviously while not in his right mind, took all her money and disappeared when she tried to help him. They almost got into a fight. She was so sad that evening that it broke my heart. I took her to my room, made her tea, kissed her on the forehead and hugged her until she cried her soul out. I couldn't bear watching her like that so I made her a promise-I told her I'll find him and help him no matter what. Our lives were a whole. If she was hurting so was I. I had to do all I could. I made a promise not only to her that night, but also to myself-that I'll act strong when she was weak.

It took me more time than I expected though. Months passed away before we could even get a clue where he was. Dylan only managed to understand that Mark was out of town-where exactly we couldn't pinpoint. Anna kept losing herself very much and I tried with all my powers to help her. She used to say I was the only thing that prevented her from going insane, but I refused to accept that simply because she was a very strong person and even though she was going through an awful moment she never forgot to love me. She was giving me all her soul and I accepted it with a guilty heart, because I felt selfish.

Anyway, a little before we were to start our senior year Mark got back in town. It took me a week to track him down. I still remember that day-it was the last time I saw her. I got to their house early in the morning because we haven't seen each other the previous night since I was working late. I got to their backdoor, kissed her with all my heart, as if I knew it would be the last time. We talked a little and I explained her that I might find him today and if I really do I'll call her. She wanted to come with me and Dylan but I thought it wouldn't be safe for a girl to go out in all those dangerous places. She agreed.

If I have taken her with us she might as well still be alive.

We found Mark in one of the empty warehouses at the edge of town. He was inadequate, but violent. He has always hated me so he tried to hurt both me and Dylan but we managed to put him down and calm him a little bit, though I knew that the only person who could persuade him that he needs help was Anna.

I called her as promised.

And that was the biggest mistake I've ever done in my life.

She was so excited that she was going to see him so she left work and almost ran to get to the bus stop since we have taken her car, because Dylan's one was broken and Damon used ours to get to work. She was in such a rush she practically wasn't watching where she was going.

I guess she finally felt both happy and relieved-she was about to be reunited with her brother. Things were going to get better. It would all be fine.

But it wasn't.

She got hit by a car a few streets away from the bus stop.

As we continued waiting and she didn't show up I started getting worried so Dylan decided we should take Mark and go. On our way to the diner I kept calling her and she didn't respond. I had this pit in my stomach the whole day and it drove me insane. A little before we were about to arrive to her workplace I got a call from her mother and she told us what happened.

Before we could get to the hospital Anna was dead.

I don't know how to describe what happened after I heard the doctor's words. I got practically insane and almost unconscious. Dylan tried keeping me up but I my legs shook so hard he had to put me down in a chair.

I refused to believe she was gone and kept repeating " It's not true, it's not true". I must have said it at least a dozen times.

By that time Mark was already back on earth. As he let the information sink in he caught my collar and pressed me to the wall while repeating that this was all my fault and he'll kill me even if it's the last thing he has to do on earth.

I didn't really oppose him. I would lie if I say I didn't want to die right there, right then. I wished to escape it all, to run.

I lost all interest in living within a few minutes.

I was dead myself and the only thing left from me was a body with a beating heart.

I still wonder what death is? How do you just stop breathing? How do you leave this world without saying goodbye?

If death is so sudden why live at all? It doesn't have a meaning, it doesn't make sense.

Nothing has a purpose, nothing lasts.

The week after her death I spend locked in my room. I wouldn't talk, wouldn't eat-nothing. My brother barely got me ready for the funeral. It was all a blur back then-I can't really recall everything. I know he found me drunk the morning after we've buried her. I wasn't myself. I couldn't even stand up. I've lost all strength, hadn't eaten in days, I would only smoke or drink scotch. Damon couldn't keep looking me like that. He tried talking but I wouldn't even listen to him. The only thing I could think of was her and ask myself "Where is she?" , "Why isn't she coming?", "Why wasn't she calling?"

Another week passed like that and Damon tried convincing me I should start doing something and get myself together. We got into another fight and I went out angry and tired of it all. I wanted to die. Why wasn't I? Why couldn't I be with her? What kept me alive?

I guess my wish was almost to become true.

Mark kept his word-he wanted to kill me. So he found the right people to do it. I really wasn't supposed to survive this beating.

They left me barely breathing at the sidewalk a few blocks away from our house-stabbed in the stomach, with almost every bone of my body broken and with the blood from my head coloring the ground.

I remember seeing her in that moment before I lost conscious- she was right in front of me with the white knee-long dress she wore to my brother's wedding.

They found me smiling at the nothingness, barely alive.

I woke up a week later.

As soon as my brother saw me conscious he took me in his hands and gently caressed my back. I haven't seen tears in his eyes since we were little. He was so scared that I was going to die. The doctors told him the chance to wake up was very little and even if I do come back to this world I'll be crippled for life-which is what happened.

I spent almost two months in the hospital and that nearly broke us. By that time Bonnie was soon to give birth and my brother has turned all the attention to me instead of her. I couldn't eat or walk or do anything by myself. On top of that he had to go to work. I still can't figure out how he managed to do it all back then. I would never be able to repay him for what he did to me. It is beyond everything that a brother should do for a brother.

He has seen me at my worst, when I was beyond helpless. And he was scared to death that I was still so lost, so away from everything that was happening around me. Once I got home I wouldn't want to stand up, to do anything. Bonnie barely made me eat and I slept most of the time. Damon figured out what has happened with the help of Dylan and wanted me to talk to the police and explain who did it, but I refused. I didn't want to do it. First because I believed I deserved it and second because I couldn't recall how all of them looked. I only know Mark was there too, but I wasn't about to turn him in-he was her brother. I would never do something like this to her, even if she's no longer on earth.

At some point a few weeks after James was born I started dealing with the fact that Anna would never come back to me. I began realizing and accepting death and let all the grief into my heart. I needed to start dealing with this not for me, but for my brother. He was driven to an edge and looked very bad so I had to at least pretend I'm getting better. Because of him I began wanting to get up. Him and Dylan would support me while I try to take my first steps around the room, then the whole house. Slowly I started dealing with all the pain no matter how strong it was and I developed a high threshold for it because I didn't want my brother to see me bad and suffering all the time. He practically left his wife alone in her most important moments and I owed him big time and that is why I decided to put someone above myself because up until now I was acting very selfishly.

Once I was able to move by myself I started going out. I would wonder all day and visit the places Anna and me went to. At first it was very hard to make myself go the her grave, because it proved me that she is no longer here. I wanted to both get there and I was afraid. Afraid to accept it, to see it, to completely embrace the fact she could never hold my hand or kiss my lips or press her little body next to mine in the cold autumn nights again.

But one day I took the bus and went to the graveyard all by myself. I felt very dizzy that afternoon so I moved slowly, barely keeping myself straight with the crutches. I bought her flowers-white roses, her favorites. It took me a while to find the right gravestone. I guess I was so lost at the funeral that I didn't even remember exactly where we were standing.

As I touched the words on the stone I cried.

It was the second time after her death that I was doing it. I kept caressing the stone as if I was holding her hand and repeated that I loved her with all my heart and that I'm sorry. Not that it really mattered-she was gone. I couldn't fix that with any words or actions.

I kept going there almost every day and that made my brother worry. Even though I was doing better and seemed to smile when I was holding James he could sense the sadness killing me slowly from the inside and that scared him. Which is why he came up with the idea we should move to our father's hometown. First both me and Bonnie were against it. I even found myself work and started helping them and trying to pay them back for all the money they've spent in the past months. We almost got back to normal even though on the inside I still felt lost and empty.

Damon kept insisting until we finally all accepted that he wouldn't just change his mind and that maybe it was for the better. So here I am now. You know the rest, I'm sure.

With time it got both better and worse. The weight inside me grew and the guilt never left me. It was hard for me to figure out ways to survive every day, to find something to hold on to, something that will keep me above the water.

I still can't find answers to the questions that keep bugging me. I doubt I ever will and I it's hard to just accept things as other people tell me to do. I wake up in the middle of the night all sweated up, afraid and lost, after a nightmare where I see her dead, lying on the hospital bed-cold and pale.

Last Sunday she had birthday. I couldn't go up there and leave her flowers and and tell her how much I miss her because I had to work. I haven't felt so lost in a long time. Something inside me just broke again and left me more sad than usually. It left me helpless. It made me realize I don't mean a thing in this world, that I am nothing. I can't make changes, I can't really help people, I can't do anything for anyone because I'm small and insignificant and the world has bigger plans for all of us. It has many storms that wants to send our way, it has many waves that would want to turn us upside down and I don't know how much more I can withstand cause even now I'm barely keeping myself up.

I figured I needed more time with her. I wanted to just hold her once again and never let her go. In the months after her death I was desperately trying to define infinity. To understand what the time we spent together meant and most importantly to answer the question if it was enough or not.

I was afraid I will forget her. That I'll start making up things that were never like this. I found myself wondering how she used to smell or how long exactly her hair was or the way she was dressed that last morning and I was terrified that I can't say. That scared me to death and left me so empty. In some moments I lose myself so much I stop thinking or feeling or..doing anything at all.

I guess that sums up most of it. Forgive me for it came out longer than expected. I'm sure there are parts that I skipped or moments that maybe seemed unnecessary to you. I tried to let it all out and express myself exactly like I am feeling lately.

I hope I get to write soon again.

-The lost person that's been so badly putting his confused thoughts on your beautiful white sheets.

I realized that I was crying once I finished the last line and closed the notebook.

How could that even happen to someone? How could this be reality? Is life that cruel? How could he even survive that kind of thing? How was he able to keep going?

Oh God, where was he now? I had to find him, I had to talk to him. Why would he say he doesn't need to discuss it? Is he out of his mind-that kind of thing can kill you slowly and painfully if you only keep it in yourself. He did so much for me and all this time I knew there was something big behind this sad gaze and those barely smiling lips but I never could have imagined it was that big. First he lost his parents, then he lost the only girl he ever loved and after that he almost died and he even wished it has become true because it was that worse he couldn't keep living.

I didn't realize that it was almost dinner time and Jenna yelled at me while I slammed the front door behind her. I couldn't deal with her right now, there was something more important to be done.

I had to find him.

First I tried calling him but his phone was off . I guess he must be still at work so I went up there. By the time I parked the car in front of the factory the workers have started getting out. It was obviously the end of the shift so I hugged myself in my sweater- in the rush to come here and see him I have forgotten my jacket. I was sure he would be the last one to leave, he always was. It took him more time to get ready and even the thought of it made something inside me cringe.

It was snowing since yesterday. For the first time this year actually and it was beautiful. I liked winter no matter how cold it got sometimes so I paid attention to the slowly falling snowflakes while people surpassed me and rushed to get home to their families, to their kids, to their comfortable warm houses where they would be able to put down their clothes, wash their hands and eat dinner after a long day at this god's forsaken place. And me? I was waiting for the poor bended by the life limping boy who would come and patiently embrace my small figure and as usually would try to give me strength-to me. A person he knew for less than two months. He was up to giving his soul out for people who have just come into his life and he considered it to be the best he could do. The only thing he could do actually.

And so he came as I predicted and smiled at me as if I was the only thing he could see in front of himself. He tried looking good so I wouldn't worry or throw him a sad glance but I knew that inside he was at a breaking point no matter what mask he was trying to put. I knew the truth so I came closer and just looked at him, without saying a word. He understood me as well and let his smile fade away. He leaned a little and cupped my face, while kissing me gently on the forehead.

"You read it?" his voice barely audible as if he wished he has never given me this notebook and it made me wonder if I looked weak right now. He should see me supportive, not desperate. I was supposed to be there for him but I felt the tears streaming down my face as I was slowly nodding my head with his warm hands still on my cheeks.

Why was it all so unfair. Why did he had to go through this? Why was everything around us so oblivious?

"Stefan..I"

"Don't." he just let out and hugged me. I held him tight as if I was afraid that if I let him go I might lose him. We stayed like this for a while, just hugged into each other and I realized I have started trembling. He let me go and put his jacket down only to tug me with it.

"You're freezing. You have to go home." he said, still very calmly, patiently, as if he hasn't just told me half his life.

"No" I caught his hands and made him look at me. "I don't want to leave you." he tightened his grip as well.

"I'm not as fragile as you think. After all I'm here now, right?"

"You should have told me earlier."

"How does one say things like that, Elena?" he let out with his eyes closed as if he was afraid to look at my confused expression

"I don't want to say I'm sorry, Stefan. Because I've heard that a hundred times in the last few months and I know it means nothing, that it doesn't change anything, that it's just words we shout out into the nothingness and let them disappear fast, because they make this pit in our stomach. They make us think that we can feel regret and sympathy towards others but the truth is we just need to say them out loud so we can make this bad thing inside us go away and never let it back in. I don't want to say those words" I sigh and I realize he's looking at me and there are tears in his eyes which he's desperately trying to keep from falling "But then again I can't figure out what else to say?" I let out desperately "I'm still trying to accept the fact that this is your reality…I can't believe something like this can happen to another person and I ask myself why, you know? Why do we get to suffer like this? It's just like you wrote it-nothing lasts. And I wish it wasn't like that. I wish we could be something important. Something good and kind and at least a little bit more lasting?"

"Elena.." he shook his head.

"I want to help you! Do you understand me? I want to do something for you." I let out desperately and I realize I actually see my breath-that's how cold it is. I move my hands up to his face and cup it like he did with me just a few minutes ago. "I want and yet I don't see how." I admit honestly.

"Can't you get that you are helping me already?" he asks and before I know it he has lift me up and I instinctively embrace his back with my legs a little afraid that he is still unstable and I might hurt him. But he makes me forget that when he leans down and our noses touch gently, then he closes his eyes and I follow him because we're desperately trying not to face reality, we don't want it and so we push it with all the strength we are left inside and then our lips collide and it's nothing like the first time when it happened even though we were standing in this exact same place in this forgotten from the whole universe place where souls lost themselves in the everyday routine in which he silently took part too. I felt him eager, I felt him desperate to taste my lips. He was hungry for nothing else but love and he desperately wanted to feel something good inside him. But I couldn't blame him because that was the exact same thing I wanted too and no matter how much it scared me the lack of it in my life lately pushed me to admit how much I needed him with this kiss. When we parted we kept looking at each other, both surprised by it all for a minute until he almost lost his balance and we were about to fall but I was fast enough to literally come back to earth and stabilize him by holding his arms. "I'm sorry" he said and I realized he was blushing . "I know we're taking things slow but I don't know what pushed me to-"

"Shh" I put my index finger on his lips-It's fine, Stefan.-he smiled and looked away, clearly still feeling embarrassed. He was so sweet that I hardly prevented myself from laughing but I decided it would be too rude towards him. We intervened our fingers and slowly headed to the car but as we approached it he stopped abruptly.

"Let's walk for a while" he said and nodded right where the street lead to one of the small quarters in this part of town. I followed him a little bit worried that maybe he should get home since he looked tired but I selfishly followed that feeling inside me that just urged me to spent as much time as I could with him. As if I was afraid something might happen either to me or him and things can turn upside down. I had proof in my life that this is possible and so did he. So we held tightly to each other as if we were passing to a rough sea with its waves somewhere above us, impatiently trying to drown us back into reality when in fact we were slowly going down this street and embraced the silence of the cold winter evening. I looked at him and saw a the light smile on his face still present which made me grin too. I felt as if I was a kid, walking hand in hand with my best friend and it was like we both knew where we were going but were also aware that there might be something to drift us away from the path. I didn't feel scared right now though. The warmth of his hand gave me security as if there was a fire burning up between us. A fire of hope."Are you cold?" he asked concerned after we made a big turn and found ourselves in a noisier street.

"No, but you might get sick like that." he was wearing just a light green sweater which seemed too clean to me. I was used to seeing him in saw-dust after he leaves the factory, but I guess now he has taken a shower and dressed himself in clean clothes. He smiled and simply shook his head. We made another turn and we stopped in front something that looked like a diner. "Let's buy you something warm, huh?" he asked and he opened the door for me. The place was relatively full of workers either from the wood factory or other workplaces because they all wore some kind of work clothes with the names of their companies on the backs or the sleeves or the hats. As soon as we entered the place the man behind the bar smiled and Stefan greeted him from which I drew the conclusion that he must come often here. They exchanged a few polite lines and he ordered me a hot chocolate without even asking if that was what I would want. It really was, but I kept wondering how he guessed. As he was about to pay and searched for his wallet the man stopped him and said it's on the house. Stefan didn't really like that and tried to protest but the guy kept insisting and in the end we gave up and we headed to one of the tables in the corner. On our way there he greeted a few people and even one of the waitresses which made me a bit jealous. As we finally set down I didn't took off his jacket because I still felt cold, he noticed it, put his arm around me and drew me to himself.

"How did you know that was what I wanted?" I asked with my eyebrows furrowed and he laughed wholeheartedly.

"I just guessed and I'm glad I was right." he leaned and kissed my forehead as if he was trying to say "Don't get mad at me now, you can't know all my secrets" and I smiled too because I really found it nice that someone was brave enough to take a guess at what might be suitable for my preferences. We stood hugged in each other for a while and even though there was so much noise around us the only thing I was able to hear was the steady beating of his heart and that somehow calmed me down. I wasn't so nervous anymore, I felt relaxed in his embrace.

"So do you plan on going to Chicago soon?" I asked and watched him open his eyes, but avoiding to look at me. He took a sip of his coffee and a few minutes passed before he finally nodded his head and added

"Yes, probably next week if I manage to change my shifts somehow. My supervisor is being a pain in the ass."

"What about Damon? Will you tell him?"

"No, Peter will help me cover up. I don't want him to know, he might as well stop me."

"Are you sure you'll be fine by yourself up there?" I ask, trying desperately to hide the concern in my voice, he however senses it and rubs gently my arm in order to calm me down. I realize I have tensed again.

"Don't worry, Dylan will be with me." he hugged me even tighter and I snuggled in his embrace "We have some work to do together anyway."

"Good. Still promise that you'll call me at least once while you're there?" I lift my look up sounding serious while he smiled and whispered that he promises.

We stayed there for another hour or so until I caught myself feeling sleepy. He noticed it too so we left and he send me back to the car. I wanted to take him home, but he refused, saying there was something he needed to take care of before that. He opened the door for me, being the gentlemen he always was, kissed me on the cheek and even though I craved for his lips I released him unwillingly and watched him disappeared on the opposite side of the street while I turned the engine on.