Chapter 11:

He wanted to beat himself up about it, he really did. What he had done had innumerable repercussions on so many levels. He didn't want to fuck up or complicate things with the only person he could count on now. And he really shouldn't kiss his best friend's girlfriend… but then again, he had screwed up things with Matt in so many ways that it was a miracle that Matt hadn't gotten a restraining order against him. Above all, he couldn't trust himself right now. Nothing he felt could be trusted, and yet he had kissed her…

He felt remorseful, yet he knew the emotion was not sincere because there was no piercing pain inside his head. Instead, his head felt lighter than it had all week. But his body… that was another matter. He shouldn't have done anything to further incite it. But, now it was too late to bemoan what he had done in the heat of the moment. Moving on and forgetting was really the only option.

That option was successful for three whole days. For three whole days, he avoided her completely. She didn't seem all that eager to seek him out either; he was thankful to her for making it easier for him to stay away from her. His headaches came at irregular intervals still, but somehow the pain was duller, more manageable.

All in all, it should have continued to be successful in the days ahead as well… except… he found himself climbing up the side of her house to the second floor deck a quarter past one in the morning on the fourth day. He sat on the railing and leaned over the side to knock on her window. Knowing the sheriff, her mother, the house had to be alarmed to the hilt. He knocked a second time and finally saw the lamp turn on inside the room. She looked more groggy than alarmed as she approached the window, although her eyes widened when she saw him.

She raised the window pane and looked out below and then around before giving him a hand so that he could climb over the edge of the house and onto her window ledge and into her room.

"Tyler, what are you doing here?" she whispered in agitation before leaning over to scan the surroundings once more before closing the window.

"It's past one in the morning!" she whispered again, but then her eyes widened in alarm as she came up to him and touched his forehead.

"Are you ill? In pain?"

His breathing accelerated automatically at her nearness and he could hear his heart start to pound like a jackhammer.

"Don't touch me, Caroline." It came out more harshly that he intended as he removed her hand and walked back to the window. "And put some clothes on." He added.

When he turned around, he saw her look down at her night-gown in confusion. It was one of those long frilly things with thin straps that was somehow chaste enough that it should have made her look like Madonna on the Rocks. Instead, the light of the lamp or the light of the moon or maybe a suddenly developed x-ray vision – whatever was to blame, he swore he could see every detail of her silhouette through the gown. It was distracting.

She walked around the bed and got a wrapper and put it on before standing by her bed, looking at him questioningly. She was taking his request to not touch him to heart.

"Why are you here?" she asked again.

He didn't know what to say. He didn't know why he had come.

And after getting her out of bed and rebuffing her touch and insulting her choice of night-dress, he didn't particularly feel that it would be well received if he expressed any confusion or ambivalence.

And thus he asked something else entirely, which had also been weighing heavily on his mind.

"Someone named Jules called home today. She was looking for uncle Mason."

Caroline tilted her head at this news.

"She said that uncle Mason never made it back to Florida. Where could he be?"

"Has he done that before? Taken off just like that?" she asked, walking around the bed to the other end to start making the bed. He wanted to ask her why she bothered as she would be climbing back into it anyways.

That didn't really help his focus and thus he turned to face the window ledge while she continued.

"I don't know. He's always been a wanderer, but had settled in Florida for some time now. She wants to meet up with me."

"Who?" Caroline asked him almost absently and he turned around in surprise at her inattention.

"This woman, Jules!" He answered.

"Oh." that was all she said as she returned to tucking the sheets.

It was driving him insane. Even though he couldn't move as quickly as she did, he was still fast as he came near her and pulled her away from the sheets.

"Stop! You are going to go back to sleep. Why are you making your bed?"

She appeared surprised to see her wrists in his and looked up at him before shaking off his hold.

"You told me to not touch you. The same rule applies to you too."

She turned her back on him and he felt an unaccountable anger well up. Why couldn't she understand?

He turned her around to face him.

"It's another week and a half until the next full moon. I can't have you anywhere near me then. Do you understand?"

Her face softened immediately and he wished he hadn't come when she said, "Tyler…" in that sweet way of hers.

"No… No… have some self-preservation instinct, Caroline. It must be stronger now that you are a vampire." He said, pulling her closer to him without realizing it.

"However we were during our human life, it's just much more heightened when we are vampires. At least that's how I feel. So, it just means that I am extra neurotic, extra bitchy, extra insecure, extra twitty…" she grinned.

The urge to kiss her again was so bad that he let go of her hand and turned away.

"You can't help me anymore. I will have to do it myself."

"You can't do it yourself, Tyler. No one should be alone during something like that."

Selfishly enough, there was such relief in hearing her say that, but he knew he had to figure something else out. He wouldn't voluntarily put her in danger.

He sat on the edge of her bed and she sat down next to him.

"Do Vampires have healing powers?" he asked suddenly.

"I don't know. I have never heard of something like that." She answered.

"I have been researching it online. I can't find anything on it. And it's not like there are other vampires floating around that I could ask."

He looked over at her when she didn't reply. She was fidgeting with that ring of hers again. It was enormous.

"What is that? It looks like some sort of Gothic heirloom." He took her hand in his to look.

"Nothing… just a ring…"

He didn't realize that he was holding onto her hand until several minutes passed and she pulled on it gently to get him to release his hold.

He let go and looked up in surprise.

There was a flush climbing up her neck and her skin glistened from the heat in the room in the soft light of the lamp.

He had known the girl since they were toddlers and had never found himself even accidentally noticing anything about her skin or how it looked like when she was flushed. Hell, he couldn't remember noticing something so corny about any girls before. They had to be in his face to get his attention and given that there had never been a lack of in-your-face girls before, he had never had the chance to notice subtleties. Now all he noticed were subtleties, like how she bit her lower lip when she was nervous, or how she gestured a lot with her hands when she talked, or… how she looked at his best friend.

He got up abruptly and was at her window before he looked back at her. She remained by the bed, although standing now.

He thought of what to say as he held her gaze.

There was nothing to say, really. And thus he climbed out her window as abruptly as he had come in, feeling equal measures of relief and restlessness.

He looked back at her window when he was down, but the light in her room had been turned off already. Wolves had good vision, though. He noticed her standing by the side of the window, trying to be inconspicuous as she watched him leave.

He found himself smiling as he started jogging back home.