Ben spent the rest of the day watching some trashy holo series. Rey sat on her end of the couch with her legs once again in Ben's lap. He didn't push his luck with that, but did admit to himself that he enjoyed the casual intimacy.
He knew that they were wasting time. They should've been planning battle strategies or hunting down Luke or at the very least ordering around Stormtroopers.
Somehow, this fact didn't bother him as much as it should have.
They watched every part in the series through the day and into the night, and Ben was surprised at how much commentary Rey enjoyed throwing at the screen. Ben found himself laughing often, at which point Rey would smile at him, and he'd quickly look back to the screen to avoid a blush creeping onto his cheeks.
Her response earlier to Ava's implication that they were involved didn't give Ben a clear answer, but he had started to think of everything that had happened in the past few days and put together his own answer.
After all, she hadn't looked disgusted at the idea. She hadn't even looked embarrassed. In fact, Ben thought she looked downright smug. It was the same face she'd make whenever her predictions on the obvious plot twist on the holo would come true. He didn't know what that meant, but he swore it meant something.
And invading Rey's mind for the answer wasn't an option.
He'd never do that to her again.
It was nighttime when they finished their holo marathon and Rey hopped up from the couch. She stretched and made a satisfied noise before trying to slip out of Ben's coat.
"You can keep it," Ben said. She didn't even have one arm free.
"It's your coat," Rey said.
"I have more," Ben said, shrugging.
"Why do you have more of the same coat?"
Ben didn't know how to respond to that. It had never occurred to him that it was odd.
"What was it like to grow up on Jakku?" Ben asked. Rey pulled the jacket back over her shoulders.
"Difficult. I didn't have multiple coats," Rey said with a cheeky smile. Ben didn't return it in time and she looked away to the mural on the wall.
"It could've been worse. When I was young, the old women took care of me. Gave me food, shared their parts. And then I got older and didn't have anyone. I was on my own but I was far enough away from everyone that I could sleep at night," Rey said. "If the sky was clear I could lay in the sand and imagine every star I'd like to travel to."
"We could go to them," Ben offered, and Rey looked surprised. Ben had offered her the whole galaxy— he figured there was no reason for her to be shocked.
"I never learned their names," Rey said. "No one ever taught me."
"Were you ever scared?" Ben asked. Rey wrapped his coat tighter around herself.
"Of course. All the time. But I didn't have a choice, it was my life," Rey said.
"I'm glad that it isn't, anymore," Ben said, and Rey smiled a little.
"Me too. I'll see you in the morning."
And she slipped into her room without looking back at Ben. He sat still for a few moments, just in case she opened her door with something else to say. He wished that she did.
He had felt her loneliness before, in that interrogation room on Starkiller Base. And then he had reached into her mind just a few days ago, when they were worlds apart, and he had felt it again.
It was something he knew well.
Ben lay in his bed that night and thought of Rey on Jakku, staring up at the sky.
She was awake before Ben the next morning. When he walked out into their common area, she was sitting cross legged on the floor in front of the mural, directly under the spot where light spilled out from clasped hands. A holo was sitting in front of her, and she was focusing on the projection.
"What is that?" Ben asked. Rey didn't look away from the projection, and Ben crossed to a counter and began brewing caf.
"One of the engines on the Supremacy. Ava sent it over a while ago," Rey said, magnifying a tiny detail.
"Can you analyze an engine like that?" Ben asked.
"All tech is the same when you get down to it. I learned everything from the old Star Destroyers on Jakku," Rey said, a little more focused on the projection than Ben. She was quiet, and Ben didn't feel the need to fill that silence.
Ben took a mug of caf and sat on a nearby couch, and Rey's eyes clicked over to him.
"Do you know anything about engines?" Rey asked. Some part of Ben was embarrassed and he focused on his mug.
"I don't. Han never taught me anything besides how to keep the Falcon flying," Ben said. He wished that Han had taught him more so at the very least he could keep up with Rey.
Rey shut down the holo and levitated it over to the table in front of Ben. She leaned back against the wall and looked at him. Her expression was impossible for Ben to understand, but that didn't bother him.
It hadn't even been three weeks and a lot of things didn't seem to bother him anymore.
"I think we should go to the Supremacy tomorrow," Rey said.
"Is there a reason why we wait until tomorrow?" Ben asked.
We. He was calling them a 'we'. At what point had they merged into one unit in his mind?
"Ava mentioned that they're preparing Snoke's body to be burned. Even if we don't want it to be public, we should at least be there," Rey said. Ben made a face of disgust as he drank more caf.
Ben wanted to be done with Snoke already. He thought killing him would've been it, but apparently he still held onto a part of the Force and decided to use it to continue haunting Ben.
"What?" Rey asked, standing up and moving over to the couch, to her spot.
"It's nothing," Ben said, and Rey rolled her eyes.
"Ben."
"I said, it's nothing."
"You're not a good liar," Rey said. "No wonder you needed that hideous helmet."
"It wasn't…hideous. It was intimidating," Ben insisted halfheartedly. Rey didn't say anything but gave him a look that got her point across.
"You can tell me, you know. We're in this together," Rey said, and Ben felt some unknown emotion ripple through the Force. They were sitting how they were just a few nights ago, when Ben had felt a pull toward her. He wondered if they would ever get there again.
Rey was right, though. They were in this together.
"I hate that man," Ben said.
"Right."
Ben understood that she knew that, but didn't fully know the story.
"He's been in my head for as long as I remember. Influencing me. Leia always knew but wasn't sure how to stop it. Even when I trained under Luke, I could hear him beckoning me to him. He promised me glory and a place where I would reach my potential," Ben said.
"So that's the darkness Luke felt building in you," Rey said.
"Yes. And it was all of my worst fears. Snoke had always told me that I'd meet my doom at the hands of someone I…."
"Someone you loved," Rey finished. Ben nodded and looked down into his empty mug.
"I wonder sometimes if maybe things would be different if Snoke had never been in my head," Ben admitted. It was a thought he'd never said aloud before. He'd never had anyone he trusted enough.
Rey grabbed Ben's mug suddenly, set it on the table in front of the couch, and hugged him. Ben's hands hovered for a moment, unsure of where to go, before he wrapped his arms around her back and let her hold him close.
"Let the past die," Rey said. Ben let out half of a laugh.
"Kill it if you have to."
They were silent for a moment while they hugged. Ben felt their connection through the Force become amplified and their hearts beat in sync.
It was overwhelming, it was frightening, but Ben felt drunk every second they let it go on.
He wondered if she felt it too.
Rey settled back on her side when she let go of him, and Ben wished she was back in his arms immediately.
"You can be the one to light his pyre," Rey said.
"I was already the one to kill him."
"Right but now you can imagine you're killing him again," Rey said, and Ben made a face.
"Since when are you so ready to indulge murder fantasies?" Ben asked, and Rey laughed as she got off the couch.
"What's the right thing to wear to a funeral like this?" Rey asked.
"Most people wear their finest black clothes," Ben said.
"So just dress normally."
"One of the advantages of being a Supreme Leader."
True to her word, Rey let him be the one to light the pyre. It was a small ceremony as the sun set over the false ocean. It was Rey, Ben, Hux, and a handful of higher ups for the First Order. The GravStar Corporation had arranged his corpse as best as they could, but his face was still contorted with his tongue sticking out.
Ben hated the smell of burst flesh, but he kept his stomach steady as Snoke caught ablaze. Some part of Ben's mind was loosened as the smoke rose, and Rey bumped her shoulder into his arm. It was as if she knew that some part of Ben was finally disappearing.
Hux, on the other hand, glared at Ben and Rey the entire time. Ben was tempted to glare back, but the feeling of freedom was too much and he couldn't be bothered by anything.
As Snoke turned to ash, Ben felt like he was finally, truly free of Snoke and the hold he had over him.
Ben slept easy that night, after he and Rey had a late dinner as they sat comfortably on their couch.
Rey was close to bouncing off the walls when Ben left him room the next morning.
"Ava is sending a transport so we can go to the Supremacy," Rey said.
"Right now?"
"Yeah. You can take your caf with you," Rey said, and Ben made a face. Rey's smile radiating in return.
They were in their transport not even a half hour later, and Ben was drinking his caf from a portable mug. No officers had ever made small talk with him, and they seemed less inclined to do so now that he was Supreme Leader, but they knew to not bother him while he was still waking up. Hux had decided to not join them on this trip, and Ben thanked the stars for that small blessing.
Rey's bubbly demeanor had once again been hidden behind the cold mask of Supreme Leader Rey, and Ben was impressed. It seemed that she could do it at a moment's notice. She regarded the Stormtroopers with a cold expression and the officers with something close to disgust.
Much to GravStar's credit, the Supremacy's repairs were coming along well. The chunk of the ship that had been sent adrift was attached once more, though only by metal bridges at the moment. Ava was right, such repairs would take time, but it seemed that she was using it wisely.
When they docked, droids and human workers alive hustled throughout the hangar, hastily working to repair parts of the floor that was open to the floors below.
"How many did Guyai say are working on the repairs?" Rey asked.
"A hundred thousand, Supreme Leader," one of the officers said as he punched in the landing commands.
"A small army," Rey said.
"Larger than the Resistance," Ben said, and Rey's face remained unreadable. Ben knew that some sort of defense has just been put up between them, and he supposed that it was still too soon to take jabs at the group her friends were hiding out with.
Ex-friends.
Ben had never really bothered to ask where she stood with them.
Rey was fascinated with the Supremacy the moment they stepped into the hangar. Supervisors to the repairs rushed over and tried to speak with her, but Rey didn't acknowledge them. She didn't even have on her cold mask, just genuine intrigue at the way the repairs were underway.
"Supreme Leader, it's an honor," a droid said, appearing at Ben's side. It was humanoid, similar to a C3 unit. It had a professional way of speaking, and Ben couldn't help but imagine C3PO in this hanger, panicking about every little thing.
"Have there been any sort of concerns with the repairs?" Ben asked.
"No, sir. Everything has been going as planned."
Ben nodded and walked next to Rey. She was looking up at the ceiling of the hangar, where droids worked at replacing the steel that had been scorched.
He had seen her focus on plenty of occasions, but this was something new. Ben could practically see the scavenger in her mind picking apart the ship. He had been raised aboard ships, but Rey had raised herself inside of ships like this.
"I want to see the third engine," Rey said, not looking away from the ceiling.
"Any reason why?" Ben asked.
"I can explain when we're there," Rey said, looking at the humans and droids watching them from the corner of their eyes. They knew better than to look at them directly or interact with them, but Ben knew that being a leader in any capacity usually attracted a lot of attention.
And so, Ben asked the droid to escort them to the third engine. The entire time, Rey was noting all sorts of details, sometime drawing them to Ben's attention, sometimes just humming and running her hand over the spot.
Ben remembered that just a week before, he had led Rey down these corridors as a prisoner. She was in restraints, with Ben's hand on the small of her back, but still walked with her chin held high and proud.
Now, there were equals.
Ben wondered if he could call them friends, too.
The path to the engine room took them through most of the ship. The droid led them down countless corridors and into several elevators. When they finally reached the engine room, the droid unlocked the door and scurried away at Ben's order.
"So, why are we down here?" Ben asked. The engine was easily the size of a modest ship, and when Rey began to walk toward it, her footsteps echoed. The engine was off, and Ben took a moment to truly appreciate that this was one of numerous engines that kept the capital of the First Order running.
"I grew up picking apart engines like these. I know every tiny part that makes it work," Rey said. She put her finger on the cold metal like she was petting an animal.
"You saw something wrong in the scans that Ava sent," Ben said. Rey nodded and walked a little further, her eyebrows pinched as she prodded different panels.
"This engine wasn't damaged, so why would they think to check it? I just figured I'd do it," Rey said, stopping suddenly and pounding her fist on the engine. This seemed to be what she was looking for, because she found a lever and opened the engine up.
"You're brilliant," Ben said as she stepped inside.
"Thank you," Rey said. "This feels like second nature to me." Her voice echoed from inside the engine, and Ben leaned back against the metal. He didn't want to go inside and distract her from what she was doing, though he also realized that he was too tall to go inside.
"This is where you feel most like yourself?" Metal clanging answered Ben. "What was that?"
"I had to get a panel off to reach deeper," Rey said. "And I guess you could say so. I like swinging around a lightsaber, but this is what I've always done. It's almost comforting."
Ben was silent. He was trying to think of something that made him feel that way. He hadn't had a hobby since he was young. Leia and Han had gifted him a calligraphy set, and Ben had always taken pride in showing how lovely he could make the headings of Leia's official documents.
"Ben?" Rey called.
"I'm here. Just remembering something," Ben said. He could remember how Leia would always show the papers to Han, who'd sling his arm over his son's shoulder and say that he could never make something so fancy.
He hadn't thought of it in ages.
There was a distinct pop noise from inside the engine and Rey let out a satisfied yell.
"Found the part that you were looking for?" Ben asked, glancing back at the entrance.
"Yes!"
"You sound like you missed doing this," Ben remarked.
"It's something familiar. This was my whole life up until… two weeks ago? Less?" Rey said, her voice sounding strained. "And now it's all new."
Ben could almost remember the feeling. After running away from Luke and stealing a ship, he had raced to the planet that would eventually become Starkiller Base. Everything was so different after that.
"I have to pretend around everyone now. This is something I know" Rey said. There was a clicking noise.
"You don't have to pretend around me," Ben said.
"And you don't have to, either," Rey said, and Ben felt like something broke inside of him.
Rey was the first person in years to really know him. Did he even know himself? Every part of his life from the moment he left Luke's academy until the past week had been centered around earning Snoke's approval and trying to come closer and closer to the Dark side. It was a constant push, and Ben was so tired of it.
Why struggle with that anymore? Rey was by his side. She didn't judge him for who he was or what he'd done.
It was time to let go.
So he did.
It felt like Ben's mind had let go of a weight that he'd held for so long that he'd grown accustomed to it. His shoulder's sagged and he breathed in his nose, out his mouth. Something had just changed, but he wasn't sure what.
That's when he felt it. It was so subtle, like a ray of sunshine warming him through a window.
He wasn't sure that it was, but it felt like some part of the Force was reaching out to him.
The Light.
Ben heard Rey's footsteps as she made her way out of the engine. Ben walked to the entrance, feeling a little lighter.
Rey emerged covered in grease with her hair pulled back with a makeshift bun.
Ben thought she looked beautiful.
"All taken care of. Ava can thank me later," Rey said triumphantly. Maybe it was the feeling of the Light finally reaching him after all of these years, maybe it was just Ben's own feelings, but he couldn't help but smile at Rey and reach out to clean a grease mark off of her face with his thumb.
He didn't miss her blush, but he didn't know what to make of it. He cupped her cheek and kept rubbing the spot where the grease had been.
"I don't think this is the look of a Supreme Leader," Rey said, still smiling. Ben knew then that he had feelings for her. He didn't know how deep they ran or when they started. But they were there and they were real.
Rey was searching his face for something, and Ben again cursed the fact that he no longer had a mask to hide his expressions. He tried to settle his face into something that didn't scream that he wanted to kiss her.
"A Supreme Leader looks however they want to," Ben said, and Rey's smile became cocky.
"You're right," she said, brushing his hand off of her face. Ben wasn't sad about it, not when she kept smiling at him.
Ben wasn't afraid.
"Hux will have a stroke if you show him your face like this," Ben said.
"Promise?" Rey responded, her smile completely wicked.
Stars above, Ben thought, I'm a dead man.
A/N: We're still out here, still writing. Thanks everyone for you patience. Between school and work, it's hard to find time to write. But I don't like leaving things unfinished. Thanks as always to Kat for her proofreading.