The night before the big trial in slash court was set to occur, Wendy was seated in a dark room. She had been patiently developing and copying the steamy photos of Stan and Kyle ever since school let out a few hours ago. Once they were finally finished, she took them to the slash club meeting room for distributional purposes. The members would get a huge surprise the next day, and Wendy would be treated with power and respect. The way she deserved.
She opened the door to the classroom and was shocked to find Eric Cartman already inside, pacing around the various desks. Wendy rolled her eyes. The last thing she needed after a hard day's work was Cartman bothering her.
"what are you doing here?" she asked. The annoyance was already apparent in her voice.
Cartman turned around quickly upon hearing the sound of her voice. He was just as surprised to see her as she was to see him.
"Hey ho," Cartman greeted casually. "I'm going over my speech for the trial tomorrow. You?"
"Cartman you have to leave," Wendy insisted. "I'm about to lay out some photos and there's no way in hell I trust you alone in a room with them."
"I'll go when I'm ready," he stated firmly. "What photos?"
"If you really want to know, the slash club finally got what we wanted. I have pictures of Kyle and stan topless and making out!" she announced excitedly.
Cartman blinked, failing to see the big deal. "What, like an anime drawing?"
"No, real ones! Look."
Wendy held the picture under Cartman's nose. He looked downward out of reflex, and quickly had to hold back the bile forming in his throat.
"...Eewwww!!" he finally remarked. His hand touched the stack of pictures, shoving them away from his eyes and back toward Wendy's body. His hand quickly retracted, as though touching the images had burned his palm.
Wendy frowned at the response. She certainly hoped the other club members wouldn't react so negatively when they viewed the photographic evidence tomorrow.
"Well, the rest of the club will love it," she said defensively.
Cartman shrugged his shoulders. "Probably."
Wendy began walking around the room, placing the pictures face down on each club member's desk. She counted in her head to make sure each student would have a copy. She subtracted by one when she got to Cartman's seat. In the background, she heard Cartman continuing to pace and talk to himself.
"Which is why Kenny has to go," he said, making sure to look around at the sea of empty desks in front of him as he spoke. Had students been present, he would've been making eye contact with all of them. No doubt a ploy for sympathy.
"Why are you working on your trial speech?" Wendy asked. "Are you trying to get your story straight?"
Cartman glared, not appreciating the remark even if it was true.
"For your information bitch, I wanted to get a feel for the room. You know, which students are where. Which ones are most likely going to side with me. Make sure they can all hear me when I talk. I'm taking this whole thing very seriously."
Floored by the legitamite response, Wendy once again tried to get Cartman to leave.
"Well hurry up. I'm tired and I want to go home," Wendy said.
"Yeah, yeah," Cartman replied. He gave the girl an exasperated scowl before dismissed Wendy and continuing to scope out the room. He tried to remember in his head just why exactly he secretly liked Wendy so much.
"You'll probably lose you know." Wendy commented. "Even if Kenny did cheat on you, keeping a gay couple together is far more appealing to slashers."
"Maybe. But I have sympathy and a surprise witness on my side."
Wendy quirked her eyebrow. "Oh really? And who might that be?"
"You'll find out tomorrow," Cartman teased. "Who decides this thing anyway?"
Wendy shrugged. "I suppose we'll all vote on it."
Cartman nodded. "That's what I figured. I also figure you'll be voting against me no matter what."
"Probably" Wendy admitted without shame. "Which is why everyone will vote: To keep it fair."
Cartman scoffed at the notion of fair play. This whole thing would have already been over with if Wendy didn't insist on having a fair trial. Cartman asked himself why people couldn't just learn to blindly follow whatever he said the way they did for a politician or a prominnent religious figure. Surely he was just as cool and important as any of them.
"God dammit, people should just vote for me. Fairness is gay," Eric complained.
Wendy glared at him. "Why do you people do that to each other?"
"Do what?" Cartman asked.
"You're as bad as the black community using the 'N' word. A homosexual negatively referring to something as 'gay' is demeaning to your people."
"Pff, like I'm a flaming fa-"
Luckily Cartman caught himself mid-sentence. Damn! He hated being caught in a web of his own lies. Not that that ever stopped him from lying.
"Uh, I mean yeah...Yeah you're right," he stammered. "I should watch that huh?"
"I'll just be glad when this whole thing's over with," Wendy admtited, seeming to believe that Cartman's slip of the tongue was a self-depricating one.
"Why's that?" Cartman asked. He was all too happy to turn the subject away from himself.
"With Stan and Kyle together, we'll have to find a new goal to meet once we sort this thing out."
"Why not just keep spying on them?"
"Because eventually seeing the same pairing together all the time gets boring. As a club we have to evolve and look at all the possibilities."
"No matter what you want, the guys in this school aren't just going to up and have a big man orgy."
"Well Cartman, if you ever had a girlfriend, you'd know that women have a sixth sense about these things. In this case, our club knows what the men at this school want before they do. We can tell when a guy's gay."
Cartman grinned. The temptation to put this girl in her place was too alluring. "Is that right?" he said.
"Yes."
"Well then, I bet you can tell what I want."
It was Wendy's turn to scoff. "You want a lot of things. All for your own benefit."
Cartman shrugged. "True. Sex benefits two people though. You know what I mean?" He winked at her, slowly approaching the girl.
Wendy stared at him for a moment, confused by his meaning.
"...Um, yes. Which is why you had sex with Kenny, right?"
Fuck! Cartman had fooled her all right. All too well. He could never get with Wendy if she honestly believed him to be a homo. In Eric's mind, there was only one way out of a really good lie. An even bigger, more belivable lie!
"...R-right, yeah." Cartman nodded, covering the tracks of his backstory. "But you know, um, we weren't always like that. There was a time when me and Kenny totally liked girls too. I haven't been with one in so long..." He sighed. "I haven't...had anyone since Kenny left. It gets lonely sometimes..."
At this point, Cartman made sure to take on the facial expression of a boy who had just lost his puppy on Christmas morning.
"I'm sure you'll find someone else," Wendy said. She didn't sound sympathetic, but she didn't sound sarcastic in her remark either. Cartman took that as a good sign and continued. It was time to make his move. To let Wendy know she could have him if she wanted to. If being the key word. Cartman took a deep breath and threw it out there.
"I think...I think maybe it's about time I...gave women another shot."
Wendy placed the last of the Stan/Kyle pictures on the desks. The one normally meant for Cartman she stuck into her purse for her own personal viewing.
"You really don't like these?" she asked with surprise.
Cartman shook his head vigorously. "They're fucking ga-" He paused, catching himself for the second time tonight. "...They're fucking straight!" he exclaimed.
Cartman's substitute word for the gay insult forced an eye roll from Wendy. At the same time though, she couldn't help but laugh ever so slightly. She tried to fight it. She really did. BUt even Eric Cartman was cute sometimes.
"I'm done here," Wendy announced. "Do what you want with girls, but know that it won't make you very popular with the club."
"Huh? Why not?"
"It's a slash club," she said simply.
"So? You can support slash and not be gay."
"Yes, but the members prefer it if you are."
Wendy walked past Cartman, heading for the door. Eric hesitated, but called out to her with what in his mind was a very important question that required an immediate answer.
"Are you a dyke?"
Wendy's eyes widened in shock. Her jaw dropped. She spun back around to face Cartman.
"No!" she exclaimed, glaring at him for asking such a thing. Cartman offered no apologies for the remark.
"What?" he asked innocently as he stared back into her glaring face. "You said they like it more when you're gay, and you -did- start this club. I figured it meant you munched Bebe's carpet."
"Not that there's anything wrong with that, but no I don't," she repeated. "Just because I started the club, it doesn't make me a lesbian."
Cartman breathed a small sigh of relief. A lesbo Wendy would definitely guarantee they'd never get together. Feeling thirsty, Cartman walked toward the exit himself. He got closer to Wendy as a result.
"Who knows?" Wendy questioned out loud. "Maybe if I were I'd get some more respect around here."
"What do you mean?"
"It's why I had to take these pictures. None of the members seem to care what I think. They constantly question me and defy my authority as a leader."
"Now you know how I feel."
The two stood there, staring at each other for what seemed like too long of a moment. Cartman smiled at her. Wendy smiled back warmly.
"Hey Wendy..." Cartman began.
"Yeah?"
"For what it's worth, ...-I- respect your authoritah."
"Maybe that's because I slapped you on your first day here," she reminded him. Wendy was now flashing an even bigger smile.
Cartman laughed, knowing full well he deserved the hit that day. "Oh yeah."
More silence filled the room. It made no sense. They both wanted to leave, so why were they both standing around smiling like idiots? The tension was thick to say the least, but it also seemed rather inviting. Cartman knew he made it clear to Wendy that he had straight 'tendancies.' Now he needed to seize this moment. But how?
"...Are you -sure- you're not a dyke?"
Wendy rolled her eyes. "I'm sure!"
"I don't know," Cartman teased. "I'm pretty sure I smell vagina on your breath. You should get some tic-tacs," he rudely advised.
Wendy's hands suddenly gripped the front of Eric's shirt.
"I'll show you how gay I am!"
Her lips slammed against Cartman's with almost enough impact to leave a small bruise. The boy made no moves to stop her and gladly returned the kiss he had been longing for since God knows when. His taunting had worked to perfection.
Their eyes closed as the smooch deepened, drawing moans from both participants. Cartman's large hands crept around Wendy's slender waist, pulling her closer to his body. Wendy's arms snaked around Cartman's neck in response, her fingers running through his hair. When she felt a hand making contact with her behind, she opened her mouth. Whether it was to protest or beg for more, no one would ever know for certain. As it turned out, Wendy didn't have time to do either. Cartman felt her mouth open and took it as a chance for a tongue kiss. This time it was Wendy not resisting the oral play.
Wendy and Cartman both shuddered as their crotches pressed together, heating up in unison. They started to pant, their hot breath hitting each other's faces. Feeling braver, Cartman's hand left Wendy's ass. He moved it upward, ran it over her hip, and stopped his movement at her breast, feeling her up through her shirt. His other hand cupped her other bussom, drawing a hiss of pleasure from deep within the girl. Feeling Cartman undo the buttons of her top, Wendy decided that two could play at this game. Her hand reached out and teasingly fondled the button on Cartman's pants. He gasped when he felt the girl unhook it, then slowly pull the zipper of his jeans downward, brushing her hand along his penis on the way down. He yanked Wendy's shirt over her head and ravenously began kissing at her neck.
They continued stripping each other of their clothes, letting them fall to the floor in a heap. Eric growled primatively as Wendy stroked his male member to a fully aroused state. After unhooking her bra, Cartman took his teasing fingers and pushed Wendy away from him so that he could speak.
"D-do you wanna...?" Eric suggested, not needing to finish the sentence.
Wendy nodded. "On the desk or on the floor?"
"Desk" Cartman decided quickly.
The two raced to the teacher's desk, the largest one in the room. They knocked over all the stupid papers and climbed up on the sturdy wood surface. Wendy eagerly straddled Cartman's waist. She rocked her hips back and forth, grinding against Cartman. He bucked his hips back, then leaned his head up to kiss Wendy's mouth one more time. The two groaned, their sex organs only separated by their underwear.
Wendy broke the kiss, her face flushed. "Wait!!" she exclaimed.
"What? What's wrong?" Cartman asked.
Wendy shook her head. 'W-we can't do this..."
"WHAT?!"
Still short of breath, Wendy was unable to immediately explain why. Cartman glared up at her, figuring it out for himself. His face turned red as well, only with anger. He forced his breathing to return to normal so that he could give her what she deserved.
"Oh. I see how it is," Cartman remarked. "Get me all hot and then just stop. That's fine! That's FINE! You whore! You tease! You-"
Wendy cut him off with another slap.
"I was GOING to say 'We can't do this YET because we don't have a condom,' asshole!!"
"...Oh..."
Cartman's face remained red, now with embarrassment. Wendy sighed and removed herself from Cartman's lap. The mood was good and dead, but Cartman's hardon was not. Trying to salvage a shread of dignity, Cartman sat up on the desk.
"Well, I guess I'll be going now," he announced.
Wendy didn't reply, trying to gather up her discarded clothing.
Cartman stood up and searched for his own clothes, finding his shirt. He once again began walking toward the exit.
"Aren't you going to finish your stupid rehearsal?" Wendy asked. Her wits about her, she wanted to make sure Cartman wouldn't sneak back into the room after she'd left it.
"Yes" he said. "But I need two minutes alone in the mens room first."
Wendy's eyebrows rose in disgust. "Gross!"
Not caring that he disgusted her, Cartman stuck a leg through his pants. Once those were on, he could finally leave the room of his humiliation.
"...Two minutes?" Wendy suddenly questioned with a smirk. "I'm glad I didn't waste my time."
The fat boy glared at her. "Well it'd take longer with another person involved!" he said in defense of his manhood.
"Not with you," she spat. "You'd probably finish up and then not tend to my needs because you're a selfish bastard!"
"I would too!" he barked. "I could give you multiple organisms like you wouldn't believe!"
Wendy rolled her eyes. "Multiple 'organisms' huh?"
"Yeah, and I can prove it!" he challenged.
His voice lowered as he spoke the next few words, emphasizing them as he stood, still hard, in front of the still topless Wendy.
"And deep down, you -want- me to prove it. You want this just as badly as I do."
Wendy growled, her face contorting into a mixture of lust and rage.
"Even IF that were true, we STILL don't have a fucking condom!"
Cartman smiled and walked away from Wendy. He moved toward the center of the desks in the middle of the room. He reached the seat of Heidi Turner and flipped the desktop open. Sure enough, she still had some condoms available. Apparently it was true what was said about her in the boys locker room.
"We do now."
Cartman took out one of the condoms from the girl's private stash, waving it teasingly in his hand at Wendy.
When Wendy tackled the much larger boy, they both knew it was going to be a long night.
TBC