*A/N: Sorry everyone! For some reason, whenever I directly upload an html doc from my comp, it removes all the quotations and italics and such! I'm not sure why that happens, and in my hurry to post I didn't catch it for this chapter! (Since the numerous other places I post this fic don't give me the same problems). Here's the corrected chapter, sorry for the inconvenience!

Chapter 11

He buzzed in as soon as he got to Spock's door, and he didn't get an immediate answer, so this got him a bit more worried, "Spock, are you in there?"

Finally her voice came on the intercom, sounding a bit less even than usual, "This would not be the best time for a visit, Captain."

"I need to talk to you, Spock." Kirk insisted, "From what Bones told me, I need to know more."

Kirk waited for her answer, but none came. He was about to try convincing her some more, but suddenly the door slid open. Before she changed her mind, he hurried inside. When he saw the state of the room, he was in shock. The place was far from the almost immaculate neatness it usually was. Maybe it didn't look so bad by a human's standards, but this wasn't a human. This was Spock.

The only sign of something really amiss was the broken incense holder that was by his feet as he stepped into the room. This must have been the object that Uhura had mentioned to him earlier, and seeing a physical example of Spock's loss of control really did put him on guard now, it somehow feeling more real with this sight. He was made even more wary with the way Spock barely seemed to be holding herself together, her body extremely tense and taut, her hands trembling slightly, her mouth pressed into a thin line, and her eyes…they made Kirk shiver with the storm that was brewing in them.

"We really need to talk about all of this." Kirk said, carefully getting closer to her like she was a ferocious animal, "Bones told me that your body is under a lot of strain."

"It is nothing that I am not handling with rest and meditation." Spock practically growled as Kirk got near to her.

Anyone could easily tell that was a lie, and Kirk quietly replied, "If not corrected, Bones said you could die."

Then she locked on Kirk with a fiery glare that almost made him flinch, "This is a private matter I wish to deal with alone, Captain."

Kirk shook his head and softly put his hands on her shoulders, "Let me help you."

He felt Spock's whole body shudder under his hands and she suddenly pushed him away with far more force than was necessary, sending him tumbling backwards and almost falling over, rasping at him, "Do not touch me!"

Even if Kirk knew that Spock wasn't being herself, this refusal hurt him slightly, but he tried not to let that show as he regained his bearings and resolutely got closer to her again, "Tell me what's happening with you."

Spock seemed to push herself back under whatever shaky control she had left of herself and she gave him a downright tortured look as she said, "I cannot. Vulcans never speak of this time out loud."

Kirk felt his heart clench at the way she was suffering, and he knew that there was no way he was leaving this room without helping her.

"This is about your…mating time, right?" he said, feeling slightly embarrassed at speaking about this so plainly with Spock, but there was no time for niceties with how desperate the situation was getting, "Do you need us to go back to the Vulcan colony to find someone to help?"

For a moment, Spock's eyes widened in surprise and anger at Kirk's gall of mentioning this extremely private time with Vulcans aloud, and coldly replied, "I will find no one to help me there."

"Then what do you need, Spock? Let me help you." Kirk said, reaching out to touch her face.

"You cannot!" She said, backing away from his hand as if she feared that simple touch would be her undoing.

Then a very stubborn determination came to his face as he returned, "You could die! If you think that I'm just going to stand by and let that happen, you are crazy!"

Spock looked away from him for a long time, finally speaking in an uncontrolled tone, now filled with sorrow, "This is something that I must deal with alone. I have no other choice."

"What do you mean, you don't have a choice? I want to help you!" Kirk said, his eyes so genuinely honest that Spock's eyes teared up.

After being silent another long moment, she spoke in defeat, "I must show you something, Jim."

She stepped toward him and extended a hand toward his face, and he knew what she intended to do. He nodded when she asked permission with her eyes, and then she placed her hand on his pressure points a little roughly, but that was the last thing on his mind as he suddenly was watching an interaction between Spock and Uhura, realizing that it was what had happened earlier that day.


'What is it Spock?' Nyota was looking at her in worry, especially with the sudden way he'd brought her here from the bridge.


'I had hoped that it would not come to this, but my situation is turning…rather urgent.' Spock said, not meeting eyes with her, staring at the floor, 'My time…has come much sooner than I had been expecting.'


'Your time? You don't mean…the mating time thing you mentioned to me some time ago? Pon Farr?' Nyota spoke in shock.


Spock saw Nyota shiver at the intense look she gave her, but she couldn't help it. She kept looking at the Communications Lieutenant for a long moment and decided that she did desire her, as she was quite beautiful, but something important was missing.


She nodded at Nyota's question, and continued, 'I had hoped, that since I was part human, I would be spared from this time. And…for it to have happened during such an inopportune time for me…


Spock tried to gage Nyota's reaction to this news, and she found that, especially in this state, the complexities of human emotion were escaping her, and when the other seemed only to be silently absorbing what she was saying, she was forced to continue speaking.


'I would never have asked you this suddenly or abruptly had my situation not become this desperate, but I…I require a mate. Not only had my intended mate lost her life on Vulcan, my father informed me that it would be ill advised to attempt bonding me at this time to a Vulcan male, since there is the possibility that I may still return to being a male myself.' Spock said, trying to sound even, but failing miserably as her words were touched with something dark and hungry.


Her blood fever was slowly taking over to her, and she wasn't certain how much longer she could hold her madness at bay. She was breathing much heavier than was normal, and she felt her heart beat out of control as she waited for a response from Nyota. Her hands trembled. She wanted, needed to touch.


'Spock…' Nyota finally spoke softly, 'I'll try to help you in any way I can.'


Spock relaxed a little when she heard the words she needed to hear, but there was still that niggling feeling that something was missing or not right. But, she ignored this since her blood fever had little concern with feelings.


'All right, I will attempt to meld with you before the…the mating.'


Spock saw her nodding her head, but her eyes were still irritatingly difficult to read. She got close to Nyota and raised her hand up to begin a meld with her to start the bonding process. Her mind…it was a beautiful thing, but…it did not match, it did not mix, and…Spock found hesitance, great hesitance.


Spock sucked in a sharp breath as she realized that Nyota only wanted to do this to save her life, and seemed to be reluctant to share what really was necessary in this process of bonding their souls together. Spock could see she was unsure of her feelings for herself, and wasn't sure this would change as long as she was a female.


Spock knew now that this was a mistake. With a gasp, Spock drew out of the meld and staggered backwards from Nyota, her eyes wide with shock. All the hesitance that Nyota had been feeling lately had not been because she was taking time to get used to her new form, but had been because she was no longer physically attracted to her.


'Nyota…' Spock said softly, sounding hurt, but her blood still burned.

She needed more, and it frustrated her to no end that Nyota couldn't give her what she needed.


'Spock, I'm sorry.' She said, her eyes getting a little teary at the way she'd realized she'd hurt her.


Spock just growled back at that. How dare she say sorry for rejecting her this way when she would not even have any pause were she a male in this moment? Spock's madness made her reach out to the near by incense holder and throw that against the wall by the entrance to her quarters, and she saw that sudden violence made Nyota jump.


'Just…leave.' Spock said, her tone barely controlled, the look in her eyes dangerous.


'Spock…' Nyota's eyes were a little scared, but she didn't want to leave just like that.


'Get out!' her tone was very angry now, and this time Nyota didn't hesitate to comply, just getting out of that room as quickly as she could.

With a broken gasp, Spock pulled back from Kirk, and he noticed now that there were tears running down her face. He realized he was breathing a little brokenly himself, touching his cheek and finding he was similarly crying. He realized that Spock's feelings over the event with Nyota transferred over to him, and let him feel just how upset she was over being rejected due to the gender swap.

"This is why you cannot help me, Jim." He could see her body trembling under the strain of keeping herself under control, "You will no longer want me when I eventually go back to my original gender. We would be bonded from this point on, for the rest of our lives."

Kirk narrowed his eyes at her and put his hands on his hips, "And just why do you think I won't want you when you change back? I will want you no matter what."

Kirk could see Spock wanting to believe his words desperately, and she was breathing heavily as she moved closer to him again, the words sounding more seductive than they probably should have, "Can you always be mine? Even if…I was not of the female persuasion?"

Her tone and the way her eyes roved over him made him shiver, and he softly replied, "I could never be anyone else's."

Kirk could see that Spock's control was slipping and could be broken at any second. He wanted to be cautious, knowing that an angry, out of control Vulcan could easily snap him in half, but his crazy, danger loving side just wanted to dive in blind, just to see what would happen. He settled for the middle ground, not moving when Spock got near him again.

She was so beautiful and her eyes were so enticing and wild. Kirk could hardly believe that she was actually giving him a 'come hither' kind of look, and he was starting to feel like his blood was on fire himself.

"I can't hold myself back any more, Jim." She growled and then walked up to him like she's stalking some prey, her body so taut, so tense, so…ready, "This would be your last chance to leave, because if you don't, I will take you, and I won't stop."

Kirk felt like there wasn't a time that Spock looked quite this good as he felt his breath hitch as he said, "I'm not going anywhere."

Her eyes looked so hungry at his words that Kirk felt as though she just might devour him alive. His heart beat out of control as she stalked closer. Before she could reach him though, he realized that he was by the communicator panel on the wall, and he jammed on the button that connected him to Engineering.

"Scotty, get your ass up to the bridge. I'm otherwise…occupied." Kirk spoke quickly and a little frantically.

"Aye, Captain, but what – ?"

Kirk didn't wait for the question, just hanging up the comm. Spock then finally reached him, grabbing his shirt with a vice grip, forcefully turning him to walk backwards toward her bed, and then she shoved him down so hard that he actually bounced back up slightly.

"I will first bond our minds and then I will take your body and make it mine." Spock growled at him a matter-of-factly, causing Kirk to gasp.

Spock then got on top of him with no warning, holding his body down hard with hers, pinning his hands above his head to leave him in a rather prone position, and then she joined their lips, finally, in a searing kiss.

Kirk felt Spock's mind suddenly flow into his and he called out to her, wanting her all around him, wanting to be one with her, the new presence in his mind overwhelming him with all the warmth, love, adoration, and desire it emanated. Kirk tried to convey all the same things as Spock's mind began to mix with his.

It was so perfect, so seamless…Kirk finally couldn't tell where he ended and where Spock began.


We are now one, t'hy'la. Spock's voice was calm in his head, and Kirk felt another wave of affection from her.


This is the most amazing thing I've felt, Kirk thought back to her in joy, And we'll be like this forever?


Yes, Jim. We will forever be one. Kirk suddenly got the sensation that he was being embraced from the inside out.

Spock then carefully pulled out of the meld, but the bond she had forged was still there, and Kirk could still sense her thoughts and feel everything she felt, in addition to his own sensations. It was amazing and overwhelming to suddenly get used to this.

"We will mate now." She said in a harsh and dark tone when she parted their lips from their hot, bonding kiss.

He could see that even if she sounded calm in the mind meld, her blood fever was still consuming her. Kirk wasn't quite sure what Spock was going through before they melded, but now he felt acutely the way her blood burned for him and his body.

Her hands began to roughly rip his clothes off of him, sometimes literally, as she forced her tongue in his mouth in a deep, claiming kiss. Kirk felt himself getting very aroused, his own feelings getting combined with Spock's, his body arching helplessly against her onslaught, as his arms were still being pinned by her.

When every last bit of his clothing was removed from him, only the sound of their harsh breaths punctuated the air for a moment as she surveyed him carefully with her dark eyes. Kirk wriggled a little at the intensity and his eyes pleaded with her. With everything happening at this time and everything that had happened between them up to this point, Spock wasn't the only one desperate for this.

"Please…please, Spock…I need you." Kirk begged shamelessly, his pride could be damned at this point.

She just growled and finally let his hands go so that she could quickly take off her clothes as well. She showed just about the same care for her own clothes as she did Kirk's, as soon they were strewn haplessly around the room in pieces, since they could not be removed quick enough for her liking.

Seeing her staring him down that way in the nude made Kirk even more hopelessly aroused, and he closed his eyes and moaned, his cock twitching and hardening even further. She had to be the most beautiful, sexy woman he'd ever seen. He wanted to get up and touch her, but something told him to stay put. This was Spock's time, and he was hers to do with as she pleased.

"You are eager, t'hy'la…" her voice husky with her desire, "This pleases me…"

And then she practically pounced on him, taking his lips again, their bodies rubbing together intimately as her hands raked roughly over his skin. Kirk knew there were going to be bruises the next day, but he was so far beyond caring at this point. Everywhere she touched him burned, and soon he found his hips bucking slightly in desperation.

Spock appeared to finally reach the end of her rope as well, releasing her mouth from his neck and licking over the bruise that was already forming there, and growling at him, "I will take you now."

Kirk moaned his approval as she positioned herself on top of him, but then a thought shot into Kirk's mind.

"Wait, Spock…aren't you a vir—?" Kirk started asking in a bit of concern, not wanting her to be in any pain, but he cut off with a deep groan as he felt himself being completely enveloped in her hot, tight, heat.

His eyes were clouded with lust and he was completely at her mercy now. As she began to move, Kirk moaned at the feeling of her around him, feeling just how wet…oh, god, so wet just for him…his hands held her tight as their rhythm got hurried.

Feeling her around him at the same time as he felt himself in her through their bond was driving him insane. He thought sex before was fantastic, but he could never go back to that after experiencing sex like this. Her hands were moving over his body again, her nails scratching his nipples and his chest as he moaned desperately and held tight to her hips.

His body and mind begged for her to buck harder against him, to find a way to let him get even deeper somehow and his hand suddenly reached forward to rub her clit with practiced precision. She was close, they both were, and he needed her to come…they both needed to come.

He finally felt her stiffen above him as her orgasm burst through his mind. She squeezed his cock impossibly tight, and under all the physical and mental stimulation, he couldn't hope to last a moment longer as he was coming too.

When they were both spent, Kirk felt an unbelievable feeling of calm washing over him, along with unadulterated love and affection as Spock moved to settle against his side. He held Spock tightly in his arms as the both of them caught their breaths, and he thought through their bond, I love you, Spock, I love you.


I love you, too, my t'hy'la…Spock thought back to Kirk and this caused him to smile and place a lazy kiss on her forehead.

Finally the two of them felt their breathing and heart rates coming back to normal, and this is when Kirk spoke with a little smirk on his face, "Spock…I think that's the best sex I've ever had."

Spock was silent for a moment, giving Kirk another in mind embrace, "I am pleased. I, myself, felt it was satisfactory."

Kirk looked at her in surprise with his eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Just satisfactory? Oh, you have got to be – " Kirk stopped on his tirade when he saw the little smirk touching the edge of Spock's lips.

She was joking, and when he realized this as he felt her amusement through their bond, he laughed and said teasingly and suggestively, "Fine, if you thought that was just 'satisfactory,' the next time I'll have you screaming my name and thinking it's exemplary."

"I look forward to this, Jim." she said with a sigh, then allowing herself to relax completely against him.

A genuine smile was on Kirk's face as he began to drift off and he murmured, "So do I…"