Chapter 11

Hermione woke up in her childhood bedroom for the first time in months, as she took a moment to collect herself.

It was easy to be absorbed in the memories she had growing up as a Potter, and how could it not be? They were as realistic in her mind as the memories she held from her past life as a Granger. It was easy remembering James teach her how to ride a broom for the first time, and being so terrified, that he had gotten on the broom with her, insisting that he wouldn't let her go and that she had nothing to fear. It was easy to remember all those moments. All those moments she had shared with her family, even if they had never actually happened, or at least, they never should have happened.

She looked around the room, filled with love and with joy, and she wondered if Harry would have grown up in the same house she had in his time if Voldemort had not been after his parents. If Voldemort was not obsessed with killing him.

It was easy to wonder all the scenarios of Harry's possible life with her brother raising him when she thought about it. It was easy to miss him and wonder what his life would be like years from now if she succeeded. Of how he would grow up and how his life with his own parents could have been like.

He had suffered so much in his life, thrown into scenarios time and time again designed to lead to his death, and time and time again he had come out on top. But in the end, it hadn't been enough. None of them had been enough to save them all from the life Voldemort's reign had thrown them into.

She sighed to herself. It wouldn't do her any good to keep dwelling on the what ifs and the what used to have been's. This was her time now, and it was time to accept that. Her life now was in the 1970's, and as odd as it felt to be back in time with so many of the people she had known while she was a teenager as her elders, she would just need to get used to it.

And with Voldemort moving and gathering troops, it was a matter of time before it became a regular occurrence for him to attack. Before Hogwarts became divided by those who believed in his messages, and those who knew it was wrong.

It was only a matter of time before his name brought fear to those who uttered it.

It was only a matter of time before the people she loved started dying.

And it broke her heart, knowing her parents would die of Dragon Pox in a few years. And it might not be something she would be able to prevent. How could it not hurt any less, knowing that the people who raised her in this life would be dead in a decade?

She felt her throat close as she blinked back tears.

"Are you still in bed?" James said, as he opened her door, eyes widening at the sight of her. "You're usually the first one up! Merlin, Hermione, it's Christmas!"

She smiled at her brother, who looked so personally offended that she hadn't bothered getting out of bed just yet, that she threw her blankets off of herself and threw on her house robes and shoes.

Her brother smiled as she grabbed her wand and tailed behind him, and she couldn't help but feel slightly excited. Christmas had always been one of her favourite holidays, and even though she was spending it with a different family this time around, they were still people she loved, and people she cared for.

She saw her father sitting in his arm chair, and her mother sitting on the chaise sipping a cup of tea.

"Merry Christmas, Darlings," her mother greeted her brightly as she sat down on the floor beside her brother.

"Merry Christmas Mum, Dad," Hermione said grinning, and James took a cup of hot cocoa that their father handed him and passed one to her.

She inhaled a breath, taking in the warm chocolatey smell, before taking a sip to wake herself up. While she did prefer tea in the morning, she knew today was an exception that she was more than happy to make.

"This one is for you," James grinned as he tossed her a present, "Oh it's from Rems!"

She smiled at the fact that James' friends had bothered buying her gifts, feeling warm at the thought.

She unwrapped it carefully and found that he had given her a box of chocolate and had written a note.

"Merry Christmas, Hermione! Hope you have a wonderful holiday with your family. See you next term! -Remus"

She grinned brightly, as James unwrapped a present from Sirius containing a set of products from Zonkos.

"Brilliant!" James exclaimed as he saw them, and she could see his mind racing already, thinking of the different pranks he could pull.

"I hope you don't plan on using those at school," her mother warned him, "Poor Minerva sounds absolutely irritated having to write to me every other day about your antics."

"Let the boy be, 'Phe," her father said laughing, "He'll only be young once, and have this time to be able to do so."

Her mother shook her head, but she knew from her mother's smiling face that she wasn't all that annoyed with her son.

James grabbed her present, and his eyes widened when he opened it up to find Dragon-hide Quidditch gloves. He had tried out for the Gryffindor team this year and she had been so proud of her brother for making it through. So much so that she had gone to ever game, despite still hating the sport. She knew that if Harry made the team in his first year again this time around that her brother would be so proud of his son.

She took another present from the pile, opening it, and was confused to see a copy of the first-year potions book they were using that year, only it looked more worn out than regular copies, as if it had been used by several students.

"I know you like studying and I thought my notes would be helpful for you. -SS"

Snape had sent her a present for Christmas. And more than that, he had sent her his copy of his potions book from his first year, which she knew from studying with him, would contain his own notes written in the margins of each page. With his own notes of things to do differently in order to be able to make the same potions but easier and to be more potent.

She was shocked, for even after their confrontation, he hadn't bothered to say one word to her. Maybe this was him apologizing to her. Him saying that he wanted to move past their initial false start, and try to truly be friends for real, and instead of with a guarded notion that she was out to get him and secretly was waiting to cast some sort of prank on him while he remained unaware.

She felt herself smile softly, knowing that she was making a difference, no matter how slowly.

She opened her next present, from Lily, containing a textbook on advanced defense spells, and she couldn't help but smile brightly at the girl's awareness of what she would like. And thankfully, it was a book she had never read in her old time, meaning that she would be able to properly utilize the gift for all it was worth, and truly learn something. And by the size of it, she knew it would most likely take her several days to get through, even at her pace.

"Advanced Defense?" James asked, peering over. "Merlin, I almost wish I had gotten you that instead."

"What did you get me?" she asked, sitting up as he grabbed a present from the stack and handed it to her. She could see him watching her nervously, as she unwrapped the present he had given her.

She opened it up to see an album, with golden text on the front.

Hermione Potter: Hogwarts Years

Speechlessly, she turned through the first few pages, and found them filled with pictures of her and her friends throughout the last few months.

"I have no doubts that you'll one day do great things, Hermione," James told her softly. "Whatever it is that you choose to do, I can see you succeeding at it. You're absolutely brilliant, so much so that I forget that we're related at times. And one day, I want you to be able to look back to these years and remember your life and your teenage years. I want you to be able to remember the times you had with your friends and your family. I want you to be able to capture every moment of your life, no matter how small, so that you can look back on them fondly. And I want you to remember that there are so many people in your life who love you and support you."

She felt her eyes well up as she threw her arms around James. It was easy to feel lost through her anxiety of not belonging that had haunted her, her entire life. She had felt that way when she was in grade school, when she first started Hogwarts, and even now, with a new life and identity, it still remained.

But flipping through the pages, one by one, and seeing that they were filled with pictures of her friends, of her brother, and of her parents, she felt her heart warm up. And despite still feeling worried, like she had after Snape telling her she only had friends out of their pity, she couldn't help but feel truly loved. Like her friends cared about her and wanted to be in her life, not out of pity but because they did truly love her, they truly did care for her.

"Do you like it?" he asked her softly, and she nodded, still holding him tightly, unable to speak just yet.

"Thank you, Jamie," she said softly after a moment. "It's perfect. I love it so much."

"I'm glad," he said smiling brightly, and when she pulled away, she saw her parents smiling brightly at the both of them.

In all honestly, she missed the Grangers. She missed being Hermione Granger so much that it hurt sometimes. And there were nights she'd spend in her dorm room, lying in bed awake as she replayed memories with Harry and Ron, sobbing as she remembered she would never be able to see them ever again, and that life was long over. That there was no getting it back, no matter how badly she wished she could. Because that life would have led to her inevitable death, one way or another, by the hands of a society that had no place for her in their world.

But here, with Euphemia and Fleamont Potter raising her, she felt loved. She felt loved with James, who cared about her so strongly, and she knew would do anything for her, to keep her safe and make sure that she was happy. And even though it was strange for her to think about in the beginning, they were her family, one way or another, even if she shouldn't have belonged in this time. They were her family and she loved them more than anything.

And for the first time in the months since she had come back, she could see herself truly belonging in this time. She could see herself truly having a life in this time and living here with the people she had only heard stories about. She could see herself in this time, surrounded by friends and family whom she loved and vowed to protect, regardless of the cost.

Hermione finished putting in her earrings as she stared at herself in the mirror. She hadn't had many chances in her old life to dress up for special occasions, other than the odd time, such as the Yule Ball at Hogwarts.

It wasn't often she spent time in her appearance, and even now all she had done was put on some formal robes, some jewelry, and some shoes her mother had picked up for her during her last drip to Diagon Alley.

To say she was hardly excited about their outing would be an understatement. When her mother had told them a few days ago that they would be going to the Malfoy's Yule Ball celebration, she had hardly been pleased. Godric, the last time she had been at Malfoy Manor, she had been tortured mercilessly by Draco's now older sister, left with a scar on her arm for all to see just how impure she was.

But her mother refused to listen to her and James' claims of not wanting to go due to their own different reasoning. Hers, because she wouldn't know anyone there, as she could hardly tell her mother the truth of why she didn't want to go to the event, and James' because he thought it would be an utter waste of time.

But it seemed Euphemia was prepared for their arguments, stating that the Blacks would be there, meaning James and Sirius would be able to keep each other occupied, and she had known from the way that James' face lit up at that, that he was sold on the argument. For her, Euphemia had tried to placate her using Draco's presence there, and she could hardly tell her mother that it wasn't helping. Because Draco had been there that day when she was tortured and had seen her at the moment in her life that she hated the most. The moment when more than any other in her entire life, she was absolutely certain she was going to die.

She supposed in a way it would help that he had known, for if anything happened tonight, he would understand just why she was as terrified as she was. But at the same time, it didn't change the fact that she hardly wanted to go. And she didn't understand why she needed to. It was hardly as if the Potters cared about being in proper Pureblood society and attending such events.

She supposed her parents wanted her and James to try and make more connections with their peers outside of school. As the eldest, one day James would be in the Wizengamot and make important decisions concerning legislation. And even if it wasn't something he cared for now, one day he would need to, whenever their father decided to step down from his own seat. And unless he wanted to pass the seat onto someone else, such as another family member, no matter how distantly related, it would be him who held it.

As for her, she supposed her mother thought she could stand to make a few more friends from other families. She knew her parents didn't get along so well with other pureblood families, especially the Malfoys, but there would be those in attendance that the Potters considered allies. For one, the Longbottoms would be there, as well as several other students she knew from school, but never befriended.

So here she found herself, getting dressed, slightly wary of the night in front of her. She supposed if things got bad, she could always find a corner of the Ball to read in. Her parents could hardly fault her for not trying, if she did give it a decent chance after all.

"Hermione?" Her mother asked, as she knocked on the door, before opening it. She saw Euphemia wearing bright gold robes and had her hair up in a formal bun.

"You look really nice, Mum," Hermione said, smiling at her. Her own robes were a deep Gryffindor red, and she was grateful to her mum for having bought them for her. It was hardly as if she would go and buy herself robes for such occasions.

"As do you, Darling," Euphemia said with a smile, as she stood behind Hermione in the mirror. "Would you like me to cast a charm on your hair for you? Nothing too special, but it'll smooth out your lovely curls for the night. Merlin knows the two of you got Fleamont's hair."

She nodded, as her mother took her hair in her hands and cast a charm on them. It wasn't the same result as when she used the Sleekeazy on her hair, a potion she knew her father had invented a few years back, but it made her hair look nice nonetheless.

"I know you are worried about tonight, Hermione," her mum said softly, "But I'm glad you are coming. It'll be good for you and James to make more friends your own age. I wish I could have given you those friendships when you were younger, but we couldn't."

She knew it was hard on her mother, having had them both later in life, to be quite older than the average age of her peer's parents.

"It's okay, Mum," Hermione smiled up at her, "You gave me a childhood that I can cherish for my entire life. I wouldn't trade any part of it."

Her mum smiled at her and Hermione stood up as she placed her wand in bag, ready to leave.

Her brother and father were waiting for them in the floo room, and she saw James wearing formal robes, and she knew it was one of the few times he had done so in his entire life. His hair, unlike hers, remained a mess, and she couldn't help but grin at her brother. At least he kept things consistent.

"Shall we go?" Her father asked, smiling at them both, and she took some floo powder in her hands, following after her mother.

If Malfoy Manor had been dreary during Voldemort's reign, it was anything but that tonight.

The entire hall had been brightly decorated with winter décor, with crystal snowflakes floating high above them. She almost forgot where she was for a moment as she took in the decorations in front of her.

"Sirius!" James exclaimed as the Black boys came over to where they were.

"James," Sirius grinned, "Hermione. Happy Yule to you both."

"And you," Hermione said, smiling at the older boy. "Draco, Regulus, I hope your holidays have been well."

Regulus was silent, and she could tell from the way both Regulus and Sirius were avoiding each other's gazes, that they were still not talking together. And part of her wanted to scold them both there and then and tell them both to stop being stubborn. It was clear that they both missed each other, and if they could get their heads out of their arses, then they would be able to see that the other felt the exact same way. Boys; honestly.

"They've been well," Draco responded for them both. She watched as James and Sirius began talking and she knew that they would most likely sneak out to try and charm some elves into letting them have firewhisky.

Regulus spotted some of his fellow Slytherins just then and before she knew it she was left alone with Draco.

"I'm glad he's making more friends," Hermione commented, as she saw him with some boys from families she didn't recognize.

"As am I," Draco commented, looking at his cousin. "Are you alright, Hermione?" he said, addressing her by her first name. "I know it mustn't be easy for you to be back here, in this place, especially given what happened the last time you were here."

"I am," she said, smiling. "It helps that it's different this time. That I'm not here as a prisoner, and that I'm not about to die. That I'm not in danger this time around. Because I don't think I could take it if I was."

He nodded at her, "Let me know if it gets to be too much. I can take you somewhere else. I grew up on these grounds, before. I know some good places to escape to, if you need a moment."

"Thanks," she said, smiling genuinely at his concern.

"Any time," he said softly.

It was an hour later when Sirius and James returned, looking slightly disappointed, and she assumed it meant that they were unable to charm any elves into giving them the firewhisky.

"Hermione, just who I was looking for," Sirius said, looking behind him, and she looked past to see Walburga making her way over to them. "Dance with me, please."

"Why?" Hermione asked confused.

"Mother thinks I need to start socializing with eligible girls who would be worthy of someday becoming the future Lady Black," Sirius said, looking panicked. "She's already tried pushing three girls towards me."

"It was bloody brilliant," James laughed, "Watching him dodge her and keep coming up with excuses."

"And you think I would be a good enough eligible girl worthy of being the future Lady Black," Hermione raised a brow.

"Enough so that my mother would stop trying to push other girls at me," Sirius said. "Please? I won't tease you about Remus' sister over James' anymore. Or that you like studying so much."

"Okay," Hermione laughed, knowing that he must be truly desperate as his mother grew closer.

He held his arm out to her and she slipped hers in his as they made their way over to the dance floor.

"Thank you," Sirius breathed in relief as his mother seemed pleased to see him with her. "Merlin knows I couldn't take her attempts at match making."

"It's only going to get worse as you get older, you know," Hermione reminded him.

He groaned, "I know. I don't know how I'm going to take it."

"I'm glad I'm not the oldest," Hermione said with a grin.

"But I doubt your mother would ever be as neurotic as mine," Sirius sighed, "I'm envious of Draco and Regulus sometimes. They don't have to deal with all the same things I do, about acting certain ways that are worthy of being the future Lord Black."

"How are things at your home?" she asked softly.

"About to get a lot worse," Sirius said, looking worried. "Grandfather has called a family meeting, and I am almost certain it's about Andromeda and her future alliance to the Malfoy family. Or more specifically that she doesn't want to marry them, and instead wants to marry Ted Tonks."

She was shocked to know that Sirius was aware of the relationship. From what Draco had told her, it seemed as if she had kept it a secret from everyone, especially her family.

"Would your grandfather be opposed to the alliance?" Hermione asked.

"I don't know," Sirius answered, honestly. "He's not as vocal about his hatred for muggleborns as my parents are, but I can only assume he'll be the same as them. She'll either get disowned or she can choose to marry Malfoy. I'm not even certain why she's choosing to ask. Her parents are the same as mine, and there's a reason they are pushing this marriage. It's good for the House of Black, and it's never mattered what a woman thinks to them. Running away would have been an easier option."

"I hope it goes well," Hermione offered, "For her sake. She's always been nice to me on the few occasions we've talked. She deserves to be happy."

"I hope so too," Sirius sighed. "But I don't think it will."

"If things get really bad for you, just remember you always have a home with us," Hermione told him honestly. "You're family."

"You and James are so similar at times," Sirius said fondly, "He said the same thing to me earlier."

She smiled at the comparison, "I mean it though, Sirius. You're his best friend, and I know he thinks of you as a brother. And all of you have been so wonderful to me, even though you have no obligation to do so."

"You're James' younger sister," Sirius reminded her, "That means you're like a younger sister to all of us. Whether you like it or not, you're stuck with us."

She laughed at that, and Sirius grinned at her. It was a nice thing of him to say, and she felt her heart warm at it. And when the song ended, she kissed him on the cheek, before he walked her back to her brother.

Her parents came over shortly after, ready for them to leave, and Hermione let out a sigh of relief as it was time to go. She nodded at the Blacks, and she prayed that as Andromeda talked to Arcturus Black, that things would go well for her.