Everything was quiet.
Not a bird sang.
Not a leaf rustled.
Not a child laughed or screamed.
Everything was quiet.
She sat on the edge of the bed she shared with the one she called love. Feet planted firmly on the hard wood floor, slumped over. Her arms hung limply at her sides. Her eyes were fixed firmly on her sock clad feet…or so they seemed. She wasn't looking at anything at all. If not for her bowed head and her wavy jet black hair flowing down over her small shoulders and hiding her freckled face from, her eyes would have been visible and it would be clear that her green eyes were unfocused, almost dead.
If you could look into her eyes, really stare into them and search into their deepest regions, you would see the thoughts that flashed across her mind.
Memories from the early days of their relationship; their first kiss, that first time they made love in the inn, the first time they said they loved each other under the moonlight so many years ago, every single time they had said the words since then, the moment they discovered that they were expecting their first child and all the joy and emotion, screams and tears that had come with it. She remembered how he had tended to her when she was pregnant, every time she was pregnant; he was so over protective and cautious, it was funny and cute and romantic and sweet. The first time he held each of his children and the way she saw his love for each and every one of them grow in that one moment. The way she had seen the thought "I will love you and protect you forever" flicker across his mind as he did.
Every happy, precious and unforgettable moment they had shared in their ten years of unity played across her mind, over and over, and over and over again.
They were so happy. They had been so happy. And now this was where they were. This was what their relationship was like.
In that one revelation he had become someone she did not even recognize anymore. He was most definitely not the man she had fallen in love with. He was the man he had been before they had met, the man he had told her about. A womanizer and a whore!
How many more of them had there been? How many times had he betrayed her so? Five more? Ten more? Twenty more? What else had he done? What more was there that she did not know? How long had he been lying to her and how many lies had he told? Why only now did he feel guilty? Why had he done it in the first place? Was it something she did? Or more appropriately, did not do? Did she mean so little to him that the second a female offered to spread her legs for him when she so adamantly refused to that he accepted without hesitation? Without thinking about the mate and children he had waiting for him at home? A mate and children that loved him more than anything else in the world? That were ever so loyal and devoted to him? Did he even think of what would happen once she found out about his betrayal?
Of course not!
He was only thinking about himself. About his urges and his needs and how he could have them satisfied. He never once thought about he consequences of his actions. About what it would do to her. About what his actions would do to his family. About how he was destroying everything they had built in the almost eleven years they had been together.
He cared about nothing and no one but himself and his actions had proven that.
Mayuri closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The rage that was slowly beginning to build inside of her replacing the shock and hurt she had been feeling. She had not even realised that her arms, which had at first been hanging limply by her side, were now extremely tense and her dainty hands were balled into fists. That she had started to shake and that angry tears were streaming down her very red face. She did not even realise that at this very moment she was bouncing both her legs on the tips of her toes and that her eyes had turned red.
She was drowned so deeply in her angry thoughts that she did not even hear the footsteps approaching her bedroom, or smell that autumn scent, or hear the shoji door slide open or see Sesshomaru when he was standing right there.
"Mayuri…?" He asked, smelling the salt in the air, seeing the tear drops at her feet.
She slowly turned her face towards him and when he saw the tears on her face and the red rage in her eyes, he took a cautious step towards her. He did not know what he should or should not do in this situation. Never before had he seen that emotion on her face. Hell he had never seen that much emotion in her eyes and in her face. Something was wrong and he knew exactly what it was. He knew his mate. He knew the woman he loved. He knew there was only one thing that could enrage her so; she was a reasonable woman who, even when she got angry, kept a level head; she never let her anger get the best of her. There was only one thing that could do this.
And in that moment he realised it was her.
He opened his mouth to speak.
Smack!
Before he could even make a sound she had slapped him, and with the full force of her strength – Mayuri was no weakling; her strength matched even his.
"How dare you." She whispered through clenched fangs.
He opened his mouth to speak yet again but she simply would not let him; he was met with another powerful slap which hurt even more than the last.
"Mayuri – "
"I don't want to hear your excuses!" She shouted breathing heavily.
"How dare you!" She screamed, picking up a nearby oil lamp and throwing it at him. It crashed against the wall not far behind him as he dodged it, shattering into hundreds of pieces, big and small, spilling oil everywhere.
"How dear you do this to me! How could you be so damned selfish! I did everything for you! Everything! I have been nothing but loyal and faithful and served you like a mate should!" She ripped a painting from the wall – he recognized it as the one he had bought her for their first anniversary – and hurled it at his head. She missed.
"The one time I deny you what you want this is what you do? You go out and sleep with some whore! You betray me! You betray our family! You betray our union!" She picked up the small table they kept in their bedroom for when he brought his work home with him and threw it. He dodged that as well.
"You act like the womanizing whore you were before we met! A man you claim you no longer want to be! You lied to me! You lied! Right to my face! How many more were there? Huh?" She threw a plant. "Ten?" A book. "Twenty." Ripped another painting off of the wall. "Thirty!" The mirror. "How many more times have you lied to me? Betrayed me! Humiliated me! I have done nothing to deserve this! You have no right to treat me this way! I am not some random female that you are having a fling with! I am your mate! The woman you pledged to spend your entire life with! The woman who pledge to spend her entire life with you!" He didn't know what she threw that time.
"You promised me! You told me you would never do this to me! You vowed this would never be us! YOU PROMISED ME! Was that another one of your lies? Was that just something you said to keep me foolish? Were those just empty words!" She picked up one of the chests they kept their clothes in. It was a very large chest and it was very heavy – for the average human at least. In one swift motion she held it over her head and threw it as she screamed.
She had finally stopped. Just stood there gasping for air and just stared at him. The rage still on her face and in her eyes. Her body shook with her anger and for the first time Sesshomaru was afraid, but not of his mate…
The second he had slid open that shoji door and saw her sitting on the bed, smelt her salty tears and read her body language he had known it was her he had seen trying to get out of the crowd. Known she had followed him down there, probably to talk about why he had been acting the way he was as of late, and then heard what he had said to Hisano before she had been punished. Sesshomaru knew that right now what he did and said or what he failed to do or say mattered more than anything. Right now could either mark the end of his relationship with the woman he loved most or…well what else was there?
If their relationship did not end it would certainly be change forever. For the good or for the bad he did not know and in his mind he did not think that any even remotely good would come out of this situation. That was what he now feared.
He had hurt her, he could see that in her eyes now. Always could have. Behind the rage that was so very clear on her pretty, freckled face was a pain that was etched just as deeply, if not deeper. He knew this rage would pass, and when it did she would be exhausted – emotionally drained. All she would feel would be that hurt he had caused, the pain that gripped her heart, the sadness that he knew would engulf her and take away her sparkle, the shame that would come along with it and the guilt that it was all somehow her fault.
He knew she would blame herself. He knew that even though she would be fully aware that she was in no way to blame for his infidelity she would still feel like she was culpable. She tell herself that she should not have been so selfish with her body, should have let him do with her as he placed; she was his mate and she should have been more selfless, should have tended to his needs more, should have been more attentive and so on. He knew his mate.
"Mayuri?" He said, and waited.
All was silent…
She took a deep breath.
"Get out." She muttered.
"I-"
"Get out! Get out now!" She shouted.
He nodded and slowly backed away from her, walking towards the shoji door and never once looked away from her. The farther away he got, the whiter her eyes became, the more her rage melted away and the more the hurt he had seen in her eyes came to the surface. It pained him to see her this way. To know that he was the reason for it, that his actions and his selfishness had gotten her in that emotional state, had gotten them in this situation. The blame was his and only his to bear. Not hers. Never hers. She could never do him wrong. Not ever. She was his perfect mate. He was not so perfect.
"I love you." He whispered when he got outside the door.
He watched the tears roll down her cheeks as she dropped to her knees and buried her face in her hands. Heard her harsh sobs when he had closed the door. He rested his forehead against it, closed his eyes and listened to her cry. The sound of it just made his heart ache, literally. He himself starting to feel physically weak. His entire body felt numb, as if at any moment he too would collapse on the floor. But he knew he wouldn't, knew he couldn't.
"Father?"
He didn't even bother to look at them. He knew he couldn't bear to see the no doubt worried looks on his children's faces. He knew they were all there. Knew they were all scared. Knew they were all sad. Knew that they were crying. How could he look at them? What kind of father was he to do this to their mother? Hurt her in such a way? Break her? Destroy her? What had he done?
"Go to your rooms." He said it so softly he was surprised they even heard. He didn't have to say it twice.
His legs finally gave out on him when he heard his Mayuri scream.