The Big Dating Question
Disclaimer: I do not own Shrek, or Cops, or Starbucks.
Chapter Ten: "We interrupt your regularly scheduled program…"
A/N: thanks mucho for the reviews! I forgot what the Shrek version of COPS was, so I am making my own… kinda. :) Also, I hate coffee, and have been in a starbucks all of twice, so if my coffee if wrong, DEAL WITH IT! Ahem… on w/ the story…
Charming was at Starbuck, getting a Venti Latte or mocha frapachino or something that was a lot of milk sugar and other things and a little bit of coffee at an exorbitant price. There was a plasma TV on the far wall, and there was a re-run of COPS airing. Charming scoffed, but sat down in one of the soft, plush chairs over by the TV. It was on mute, but the closed caption was on. Of course, with shows like COPS, that was a bad idea. The words were slower than the action and, in many cases; they were on top of the main event. However, Charming's slight disgust was soon rocked to curiosity when he saw a very familiar orange cat on the screen.
Slightly getting out of his chair, and spilling coffee on himself in the process, Charming watched the screen in rapture, glancing quickly from the closed caption to the image. It was Puss in Boots, all right, and he was wanted for indecently exposure. Charming couldn't help laughing, then cursing when he realized that he had spilled coffee, of all things, on his brand new silk pants.
Charming proceeded to rush home, at first to change his pants, but then to form a battle plan to get Lil Red. One date was all he felt he needed to convince her that he was her man.
Barbara Jean walked in on him writing furiously on his Playhouse desk. "Hon, whatever are you doing? At the rate you're going, you're gonna burn a hole right through that paper!" She exclaimed.
Charming didn't so much as look up.
"Hon, your mother wanted me to inform you that, despite your best efforts to not ask any of your possible wives on a second date, she has gone to the liberty of going it herself." Barbara Jean stated.
Charming looked up from his paper. "That didn't make any sense. And besides, Lil Red is free again. No one wants to date a convicted felon."
"I once dated a fell-on. Best sex I ever had…" Barbara Jean sighed happily.
"Eww, gross! I didn't want to know that!" Charming put his hands over his ears. "Walter never would have said anything like that!"
"Well, hon, do I look like Walter to you?" Barbara Jean asked.
"No. Walter was prettier." Charming replied.
"Well I never!" Barbara Jean exclaimed as she walked out of Charming's room in a huff. "I guess he'll just have to find out on his own that he has another date with Snow White tonight."
Snow White stared out her bed room window. When Fairy Godmother had first called, she had thought "No way am I dating her son again!" She had been appalled, APPALLED, at his behavior on their last date, and Monsieur John had called to say that he was in town, and how she wanted to be with him just one more night… But Fairy Godmother had offered her money and Snow White had a nasty little habit to feed (namely all seven dwarfs) and needed the money desperately. Quite honestly she was sick of being a "domestic goddess" who needed chores, gardening and cooking all day! Certainly not her… why, if Fairy Godmother promised her money for every time she went on a date with the woman's wretched son, then maybe Snow White could get a maid. Yes, a maid. Oh, wouldn't that be lovely?
Charming had come up with his "MaSter Plan" to get Lil Red to like him. Although it was in crude, infantile letters, he felt that his anti-myopic behavior towards the matter would clear up any future problems he would have with the love of his life. After all, she was perfect, with her willful, head-strong attitude, and her adorable rosy cheeks… Charming would even deal with her girl cooties if just, for once, he could kiss her, and it not be only a dream. Yes, he was ready to put his plan into action and get the girl, no matter what.
"Will Charming get what he once? Will the author ever get her act together and place a chapter up in a timely manner? Will anyone still want to read it! Ahem… what about Charming's unknown date with Snow White? Will he make it? For now, however, Mirror out!"