Chapter Eleven "Second Chances"

Steve was almost past feeling sorry for Mia until he saw her with Rachel. He couldn't hear what they were saying, and it didn't matter. The pain in her eyes was unmistakeable because he had seen it so many times in the mirror. And while Steve suspected it might have been a trick of the light, it looked like Mia was crying.

Of course, all that didn't make Steve forget about the things Mia had said. But it made him think he could forgive her, even if he didn't feel quite ready yet.

Steve watched as Mia said goodbye to Rachel, giving her a quick hug. Steve noticed that it was nowhere near the kind of hugs she gave her brothers. So, she was even guarded with her good friends to some extent. For some reason that made Steve feel a little better. He knew it wasn't just him.

Mia crossed the room slowly, not looking at Steve, though he knew she was coming toward him. She looked like someone had just died.

"I have class in five minutes," she said, and Steve almost thought that would be it, but she went on. "I hope you know how sorry I am for what I said."

For a moment, Steve only looked at her. Then he managed a smile. "I don't," he said. "But I hope to."

Mia smiled back and started toward the door. The two of them walked through the campus in silence. The late February air was pleasantly cool, and Mia found herself wishing for overcast skies and sprinkling rain. She never thought she would miss L.A., but perhaps her brothers' appearance made her homesick for the first time in two years.

Taking a deep breath and realizing how shaky it was, Mia walked through the open door of the English building. She could not completely put the thoughts of how she failed and of Southern California winters out of her head for the rest of the school day.

H-5-O

Danny was in need of coffee. And he had hoped for quiet. But he didn't get it. As he wrestled with the coffee maker he was approached by Mia's middle brother. Danny couldn't help an unintelligible grumble at the thought of another conversation with Kirk. But he was surprised.

"I'm sorry I was so sharp earlier," Kirk said. "My sister was hurt, and my brother's being an ass. But I should have controlled myself."

Danny nodded. "I understand," he said. "I have two sisters and a brother who is an ass."

"Guess it's no use to talk about how unfair all this is, huh?"

"Yeah..."

"Hey, listen, I was thinking of taking Zach surfing. Do you know any good spots?"

Danny almost laughed out loud. "I am not the one to ask," he said. Then he smiled. "Come on."

Danny led Kirk over to Kono's office. He gave a courtesy knock on the glass door before letting himself in.

Kono looked up from her desk and smiled. "What's up?" she asked.

Danny pointed to his companion. "Mr. O'Brien here was wondering about good places to go surfing," he said. "I, of course, knew nothing on the subject and thought I'd consult the expert."

"Mr. O'Brien is my brother," Kirk said as he shook Kono's hand. "It's just Kirk."

"Well," Kono said, "I'd be happy to show you one of my favorite spots." She looked at Danny as if asking permission to leave. Danny just gave her a look that said, it's your call. Kono nodded once and turned back to Kirk.

"Just you?" she asked.

"No, I think my brother needs to use up some energy before he explodes," Kirk said.

"Your brother, Mr. O'Brien?"

Kirk smiled. "No. My younger brother, Zach."

"Okay, let's go. Do you have boards."

"No. That was my next question."

Kono smirked. "I have extras," she said.

H-5-O

"I wish it would rain," Mia said as she and Steve sat at a picnic table outside between her classes.

"Why?" Steve asked, getting the feeling this conversation was going somewhere.

"Because it's hard to be sad when the sun is shinning," Mia said.

"Are you sad?" Steve asked.

"Yes."

"About what?"

"It would be easier to tell you what I'm not sad about."

"You have to start somewhere."

Mia sighed and nodded slowly. "You're right... I just don't know where. I mean, I don't know what's at the top of the list. I guess I have been sad for a long time, I just never looked that deep."

"One thing at a time," Steve said. "Or you'll be overwhelmed."

"Okay. You."

"What?"
"I'm sad about you. Everything seemed great, and then... then I get in way over my head and before I know it, I'm staying at your house and being asked to share my feelings. Of course, it's not like this wouldn't have happened eventually. Though, if possible, it might have been a lot worse if I'd let it drag on."

"I see."

"No, you don't. You think I'm trying to tell you that I don't want to be in a relationship. That I have too much to deal with. That's not what I'm trying to say."

"Then what?"

"I'm trying to say I'm sorry." Mia finally looked Steve in the eye and for the first time, he could see past the prickly exterior she put up against him.

Steve coughed, and then he blinked because he realized he hadn't been. "What are you sorry for?"

Mia tapped her fingernails on the table and bit her lip trying to come up with the words. "For hurting you," she finally said. She looked down at her hands. "I didn't realize it's what I was doing until after I'd done it."

Mia looked back up at Steve. She was surprised by the look in his eyes and the fact that he didn't try to hide it. He wasn't denying that he'd been hurt. Perhaps it only surprised her because it's what she would have done in his position. But the one who had hurt her most never said he was sorry.

H-5-O

As she watched Zachary O'Brien wipe out for the twentieth time, Kono began to believe what his brother had said about Zach's weird surfing. It honestly looked like he was doing it on purpose. She saw the curious look on Kirk's face as he walked toward her.

"I'm pretty sure you're not laughing at me," he said.

Kono shook her wet head. "I was watching yet another fail," she said.

"It's not a fail," Kirk argued. "He does that on purpose."

"Why?"

Kirk shrugged and dug his borrowed board into the sand next to Kono's. "Guess he likes the way it feels."

"Which makes me question his sanity."

"I don't know; maybe he's perfected falling... No, I think it's something about losing control. He's always been that way."

"I guess it could make sense. You're pretty good, by the way."

"Thanks." Kirk sat down next to Kono. "Surfing was always my favorite thing to do when I was upset about something."

Kono nodded and gave him a sidelong look. "So I bet you did a lot of it after what happened to your sister."

Kirk stared off at the horizon. "Yeah, I guess," he said. "Last time I saw her... I had taken Mia to the beach. We surfed for hours. We didn't talk about it. She still had the scars, but she wore more clothes to cover them up."

"That's why she told me she didn't want to walk up the beach in her bathing suit."

"Yeah. She... likes to forget about things. I never forget things."

"So, you didn't see her again after that day?"

Kirk shook his head. "I took her home, and the next morning, she flew here. Until this morning, I hadn't seen her since."

"You seem close though."

"Yeah, she's... well, I don't know how to describe it. I'm not easy to get along with. Morgan and I argue a lot and Zach... well, I just don't get him. Mia was my best friend."

"I come from a big family," Kono said. "Growing up with cousins who are more like brothers and sisters. I know how you feel."

Kirk shook his head. "But I lost her. She doesn't know it, but I did. You know, she wasn't always like she is now. She used to be... alive."

Kono looked out at the waves that seemed so fascinating to Kirk. "Maybe she can be again," she said softly, almost to herself.

"Maybe," Kirk said, but it didn't seem as though he believed it.