So, here's another one. And some bad news I hope you don't mind hearing... My great grandmother died, and I couldn't write because my mom went to the funeral in Missouri, but took her iPad with her. Ev and I had to stay behind so we wouldn't miss school, and because there wasn't enough room to carpool since our car isn't in good enough shape to go that far. Sorry, depressing news you guys don't need to be bothered by. Just ignore it. So, my second ever disclaimer: I own nothing of any of the Fire Emblem games, all I control is some of the dialogue changes and about half the OCs. And news at the author's note at the end, so watch for it! Oh, and as always, I'm accepting OCs, some pairing suggestion, since I have maybe 6? And I'm always looking for your reviews to see how I can improve!
A gurgling rumble broke the silence of my room with mid morning sunlight peeking through the window curtains. "Shut up, and let me sleep!" I admonished my complaining stomach. A lesser, but obviously discontented answering growl sounded. "I'll not have mutiny, now let me sleep. I haven't had opportunities to sleep in late since forever!" No rumbles sounded, and I smiled. But it quickly faded as I realized that it wouldn't do any good. I'd been awake for hours, despite just laying there attempting to fall back asleep. Some things never change. I can get up at 3 A.M. and lay there until 2 P.M. without success on the whole going back to sleep front. I hate it sometimes...
"Is there anything you don't hate at some point or another?" I groaned as the irritating voice in my head who'd lain dormant my entire stay in this world decided to speak up. It's not the crazy sort of voice in my head. Rather, the kind I had made up so I had someone to talk to when there wasn't anyone else. And I usually refer to him as an entirely different person because I decided to make him a version of me with some personality differences, providing a different perspective every now and then. Unfortunately, he was also rather annoying. "Now you show up? Really, Nyd-" I cut myself off as the realization that his name wouldn't really work now with an actual Nydaxa nearby. "Yeah, that is a predicament. So... What's my name gonna be now?" I thought for a minute. Then I thought of a name my mom had almost given me.
"So I'm Calvin now, huh? Alright. So, Aadyn, you aren't going to sleep so why not just get out of bed already? Anyway, it's a nice day out and I know you want to do some training." Downside is, even when we take different sides, it can be hard to argue with someone who has pretty much the same info as you do, and knows your thoughts as well, sometimes before you do. "Fine, I'm up, so shut it already!" I heard a villainous snicker in my mind. "And if I don't want to? Hmm?" I brought my forearm up close to my mouth. One trick I put up my sleeve was making sure he had a lower pain tolerance than me, so I can usually just threaten to bite down and boom, he retreats for a little bit, giving me blessed silence. It worked now, too. In my head, he yelped and dashed off. Ha, pretty good for a laugh sometimes. I made him more of a clown than me, too.
Grumbling, I dressed and went out of my room, thoughts already swirling through my mind. If not for Stig, that last battle would have ended me. When he stopped that naginata, he saved me. But... He shouldn't have had to rescue my sorry rear. How can I help the others if I can't help myself? For a moment, a flare of anger at myself burned through me. "I have to get stronger, and stronger, and stronger until I can take on all our enemies myself. That way, none of the others can ever get hurt." It was an attitude is taken playing the games too. I made myself the strongest, in a whole different league than my allies, so that I could do the brunt of the fighting. Here that wouldn't be so easy, but I could still go all out until I was strong enough that I could keep them safe. But to do that... "Training partners. And more than one since we're always outnumbered every battle. So, three strong allies who won't object to the training. I think I have the perfect list."
Fifteen minutes later I had Stig, Effie, and Silas before me as I swung a practice sword, though I'd made sure the others all had their real gear before we started. When Silas had begun to protest I had told him not to worry, that I would be fine, and not to hold back. Being the head on sort she is, Effie charged at me first. As the distance closed, so did my eyes as I took a moment to focus. Time to let loose what I normally keep chained up inside. Time to let a glimpse of who I really am poke through...
"HHRRRRAAA-Huh?!" Effie's war cry was cut off as I left my practice weapon sheathed and grabbed her lance with both hands, heaving with all my strength. The laws of momentum, it's pretty easy to redirect a blow with minimal effort. Effie has mountainously greater levels of raw power than me, so I'll use that against her. I twisted, and spun her in a circle, letting go as she drew near the right spot to collide with the others. Stig evaded her and came at me, but Silas wasn't so lucky, getting clipped by a stray arm and sent flying. As he drew near, his eyes widened and I knew why, what he'd seen to cause a reaction. A feral look, blanketed with sheer madness and unchecked destructive force. My blade was almost impossible to see, knocking his aside. I grunted as the exertion most likely pulled something, along with the several already hurt by tossing Effie. As he attempted to get his weapon back in place, I half crouched and pressed up my shoulder, catapulting into his stomach and knocking him aside. I got back on my feet and sidestepped Silas' attack, then slammed the pommel of my sword into his chest, knocking him back a step. When he found his balance again, my sword was level with his throat. He held up one hand in surrender. Moments after he stepped back, Effie and Stig engaged me once more, working together. Effie was charging again, keeping a careful grip on her weapon. Good job, but I have other tricks. I ran right at her, then when we had almost reached, dropped to the ground on my side and rolled, knocking her feet out from beneath her. She landed on me, but I pressed her off and blocked Stig's attack. He was obviously surprised, since up till now I had been evading or redirecting attacks instead of meeting them head on. I tilted my blade to the side so his slid right past, and his pressure instantly halted so he wouldn't lose his balance, which made it my turn to be surprised. I kicked out, connecting with his kneecap, and he crumpled. He rolled aside, barely avoiding my next blow, and sliced my forearm. I cried out and watched as the bright red drops, shining like rubies in the midday sun, fell to the ground. The next moment Stig's sword was knocked several yards away and I was pinning him down, sword forgotten and one hand covered in flames as it drew ever closer to his throat. Stig closed his eyes and waited for it to come. It never did. I chained myself once more, and threw myself away from him, almost hyperventilating. He opened his eyes back up and gave me a terrified look before noticing the madness had faded from my eyes, replaced instead by fear, and self loathing.
"What just happened?!" I looked to Silas, then checked to see if anybody else was nearby. There wasn't. Sighing, I crossed my legs and asked them to come over. They did, keeping their weapons close at hand.
"Look, this isn't easy to tell. Effie, you already know I try to hide my real self from all of you. The thing is... I'm no better than a monster inside. I control as best I can, but... It's who I really am inside. Slowly, the mask I show you guys is tempering it, so I can let more of my true self show without too much risk. But, I let too much loose. When Stig got me, the sight of blood heightened my aggression. He's lucky to be alive. I was hoping I could practice with it to get some more work controlling it in real combat situations, but if I do that again...it may not just be our enemies who suffer. I'm ok now, at least. But I do need to be more careful. Don't tell the others, please. I..." My voice broke for a moment. "I don't want them all knowing what kind of monster they made the mistake of trusting. If I keep the chains on, things will be fine. But... If I go wild again, stop me, no matter what. Alright?"
Before they could reply, an alarm sounded out. I'm not sure if it's a blessing, or a curse that it sounded at that moment. I scrambled to where I had set aside my weapons, and something came to me. When my hand had started blazing, I hadn't been anywhere near my tome. Sure, I can do some things without actually holding it, but it needs to be within a couple feet, which I know because I've been practicing. So, how-?
Another alarm blared through my thoughts, cutting them off. "Grr... You deal with this later. Move your fat rear already, Aadyn!" I told Calvin to shut up and ran to where I remembered that some of the enemies tend to group in the invasions, which I'll bet my sword this is the first of. There was a pair of semitransparent wyvern riders attacking Beruka and Niles, with other enemies trying to get around the scuffle. I shouted at the top of my lungs, startling several of them, but Niles too. He almost got a leg hacked off, although Beruka seemed to not even notice. Guess being a bit heartless can very rarely be handy.
I ducked my shoulder slightly and rammed into one enemy's chest, smashing him (at least I think it was a him, kinda tough to tell when they're all see through and surrounded by purple smoke) into the wall, and I felt his sternum and ribs crack before I ran him through. I twisted the blade sideways, and heaved it to the side, cutting through the beaten enemy's body and out the side so I could hit another one behind me. He blocked it, and I stomped on his foot, then punched him in the jaw, remembering something my dad once told me, about how if you hit someone's chin right, the jaw will be forced to collide with other bones, and catch nerves between them, knocking the target out. It seemed to work with my opponent, he keeled right over, although I put my blade through his throat just in case. Shocking how much simpler it can be to act fairly ruthless when letting the chains slip slightly. I had a much firmer grip than in training, though. I don't trust myself enough to break loose completely.
Surprisingly, nobody had arrived to help us yet, which made me worry. If this drags on too long, reinforcements will arrive. Maybe the ones more at the center of the fort were proving tougher than our friends could really handle.
Suddenly, Niles cried out as one of the wyverns started taking a bite out of his leg. Resisting the urge to let him become a snack, I ran towards them, slicing a long, relatively deep cut into its neck. Sadly, all this did was make it turn to me instead, now very angry. It tried to take out a good sized portion of my face, and while it would probably be an improvement, I'd rather stay in one piece, ugly or no. I flung out my armored arm, breaking off several teeth and wincing as one or two found weak points. It reared up, screeching, and I sliced its throat, properly this time. With a gurgling shriek, it fell back, crushing its rider, who had been fairly lazy the whole fight.
"Than- GYAAGH!" He cut off to scream in pain, and I looked at his leg. It wasn't pretty, lots of blood, and the teeth marks were wider than they should be. It had probably been trying to tear his leg right off. I cut away some of the torn clothing, and had him give me some of the hood. I wrapped them around his leg, and gave him a stern glare.
"Stay down. Much as I would love to be rid of you, you are one of us. Try to join the fight before we can find someone to heal you, and I'll feed you to another wyvern, and I'll also make sure it finishes the job, plus I'll cook you for it. Do they prefer medium rare or well done? Hmm? And you owe me, so no more getting into my room or else!"
I ran at another enemy before he could start talking again, and yelled at Beruka to find one of the staff users and haul them back here. A fighter tried to take my head off, and I grabbed the axe haft and sank my teeth into his throat like a rabid wolf, tearing it out. Spitting out the rather gory mess, which tasted horrible by the way, how do cannibals stand it, I turned to the next opponent, who backed away. I guess anyone would be pretty intimidating. I snarled, trying to take advantage, and when he stepped back, he got incinerated. I noticed Niles had ducked into one of the nearby buildings, and Beruka had yet to arrive with reinforcements. In that case, maybe I could...?
"Alright then, time to let loose. So, who dies next?!" I threw my sword, piercing through one of them. Ducking under a spear, I pressed the butt end back at its owner's face, smashing his nose. Tripping another opponent, I kicked him in the temple, a very weak spot on someone's head, an easy way to finish someone off.
As I looked for new vict- err, enemies. Yeah, that's what I meant, but they were gone. I looked around, not nearly done. Where would I find more of them?
Unfortunately, I saw several of my allies coming towards me, and considering the number of staffs present, they were likely going to help Niles. I doubt they would send so many of the battle were still going on elsewhere, too. Snapdragons!
I remembered the blood still all over my face and teeth, and quickly wiped it off before they could see, forcing control back on myself. "Aadyn, we heard Niles is really badly hurt. Where is he?" I turned to Nydaxa and pointed at the building Niles had hidden in, then retrieved my sword.
It was a few hours before I saw anyone else, having made my way to the hunting forest after the battle. It was nice there, reminded me of the one near my house I loved to walk around in. And my past experience proved helpful in avoiding a fight with a very angry rattlesnake.
A tip is that when dealing with a wild animal, you're going to probably trigger their fight or flight instincts. Just stay calm for the moment, since if you start freaking out they'll get scared too and be more likely to lash out. You can lose your head after it's gone. Take a look, and see if the animal seems content to stay where it is and warn you off, or if it's advancing towards you. If it wants to stay, just back away slowly, and watch your footing. Tripping and having to flail around won't end well for you. If it seems to be coming closer, try to avoid eye contact, which may be taken as a challenge, and do NOT run. Haste draws attention, and most predatory animals are more likely to go after moving prey. Just resolve yourself to go down fighting, make them pay for messing with you, whether you walk away alive or not. I know, sounds like giving up. But actually, to a lot of animals, they see that resolve, they'll think: "Crap, this may be more trouble than it's worth. I'll find easier prey." Of course, if the animal is starving, that may not work. Same with a wounded animal, since they'll be really scared and know they're vulnerable. Their plan will be to attack before they can be attacked. And people, don't throw your hands up like you're getting arrested! The sudden movement may startle them, and they'll think you wanna attack. With a wounded animal, back away, but watch them. After all, you get a bit paranoid when you're injured too, right? So, a few tips I've learned to consider. Try them out if it's necessary, though I hope none of you ever need to use it.
I looked at Silas as he came close. "You make way too much noise, ya know that?" He looked at me kinda surprised. Hey, not my fault I'm used to listening for animals moving around in my area. There were wild hogs in my forest, and I sometimes thought of wolves too, though I know we also had bobcats and coyotes. Moving on, before I lose my train of thought altogether.
"I was hoping to talk to you about earlier." Oh, boy... I sighed and pointed at a fallen tree he could sit on. "Is what you said true, that you think of yourself as a monster?"
I chuckled, but there was no humor to it. "I don't think so, I know. And before you try to argue the point, let me tell you that one of the enemies who stopped by literally got his throat torn out by the teeth of yours truly. Plus, some bad memories have been coming back to haunt me lately. When I got here, I thought I'd only killed bugs and a snake before, but now I remember. My hands have been stained red since I was about 2 to 4, I was too young to remember my age. So don't start."
"But from what I've seen, you're a great person. You don't have any problems risking yourself to help us, you help other peop-"
"YOU IDIOT!" The two words came out in a manic scream. "That's all an ACT! I know I'm useless outside of destroying everything, so I decided my place was as cannon fodder! And the helping thing is just that I don't want more blood on my hands than necessary, alright?! All I've ever been able to do is destroy and hurt, all my life." I was sobbing now, same as I usually do when I begin thinking about the truth. "It's pretty stupid of me to wanna make things... I love doing it, but usually it ends with me destroying something, and I destroy stuff regardless of whether I want to or not. It's all I can do... That's why my name meaning fire is so accurate. Fire is a force of rampant destruction, burning everything to ash that lies within its path. Fire and I, we're two of a kind. Don't bother trying to tell me otherwise, Silas. You don't know who I am, what I've done, what goes on in my head. I used to spend hours thinking of ways to torture my classmates who picked on me without killing them, until they lost all hope to be released from the hell I was putting them through, until death had long been a luxury, a release they would pray for night and day. That's who you're talking to, Silas. A monster who doesn't deserve to live, but stays alive for the vague, impossible hope that I can change, redeem myself. So just don't. I'll see you later." I took off into the woods, running and running.
"You're the idiot, not Silas. You're acting like Nyx, thinking that a mistake or two, and yes, they were bad mistakes, but that's all, makes you a beast beyond redemption. And if you don't believe me, then try talking to her about it, see what happens. Whenever you see her call herself a freak or monster on support, you thought she was a fool, that one thing you've done does not define who you are entirely, and that someone can change if they want. When will you learn to take your own advice, huh?" Shut up, shut up, shut up, SHUT UP! I am a scourge, nothing more. And a curse on others is all I will ever be. "If you really believed that, you would have removed yourself from the equation years ago! Quit lying to yourself already!"
Is he- Is he right? A small voice whispered from within me, yes. "Remember your ideal? You thought that since you don't want to be a monster, but it is a deep part of you, why not take advantage? Show people that light and dark are not absolutes. Bad people do good things, and good people do bad things all the time. Everyone can be both, but they refuse to acknowledge that a lot of the time, yourself included. For years you wished that part of you was gone entirely. But now you want to make it clear that dark and light are not the natural enemies people view them as. They can be a team, meshed into one. Balance, that's what it's about. Now quit feeling sorry for yourself and do something!" I realized that as Calvin ranted at me, I had kneeled down, hands on my head, still crying, but it was stopping. He was right...
I went to find Nyx, thinking about what he said. "There you are. Been looking for ya. Can we talk?" She sighed, but nodded. "Nyx, and this may be kinda personal, do you really think of yourself as a monster?" She looked surprised when I asked that.
"Surely you've heard of what I did in my youth. I was cursed to be this age as a penance for what I had done. People have called me monster, and they speak the truth."
"No it's not. Or rather, it is, but not in the way you imagine." She gave me a perplexed look. "If you were a monster, for one you wouldn't care about what you had done, curse or no. Someone like that wouldn't be let into our forces, either. Think! If we thought of you that way, we would have done all we could to stop you, and try to remember some of us are actually fond of you. Up until a bit ago, I thought the same of myself. But I was wrong. If we really were the way we think we are, we would be a lot different. I get that now, and maybe you should too. Nobody is completely good or evil. Everyone has some of both, even if they don't think so. Just think about it, ok?"
She looked at me, then nodded. I turned to leave, but she grabbed my shoulder, which actually put her on tiptoes. "Wait. I should tell you, I see a painful betrayal not far in your future. Be careful." I thanked her and considered what she had said. What was going to happen? Well, no point in dwelling. A person can never tell what the future will hold, it changes so easily. That's why I usually don't plan ahead and work best when improvising.
Now, what was I planning to do again? Oh, right. Talk to Odin and Selena. Better find them then.
"Everyone! We're leaving the Astral Plane to continue on our way to Notre Sagesse!" I grumbled as Felicia's magnified voice rang out. Great timing... Guess I'll find them on the way.
When we got back, we found out the ferry was stopping for the night, since the conflict in Dia had prevented it from leaving when planned, and there were areas with potentially dangerous rocks and a reef or two in the way that shouldn't be navigated while it's dark.
As everyone set up tents, I decided on how I was going to tell them. I can't wait to see the looks on their faces when I tell them I know who they are, they'll be so surprised! I found Odin first, and he used a spell to help us find Selena when I mentioned I had something I wanted to discuss with the two of them. I made sure to make a note of the components and words, though it was kinda complex. When we found her, she fussed about it, but came along. I went into a tent that may be used for a strategy meeting in the morning, so it had some furniture inside we could use.
"OK, so I'm not gonna tiptoe around what I'm about to tell you two. I know where you're from, and who you are." For a moment, they looked panicked, and a tiny bit skeptical as well.
"Really, I do. Your real names are Severa and Owain, you come from a halidom known as Ylisse. Although, Odin, how come you changed from a myrmidon to a dark mage when you came here?"
The panicked looks grew, and I realized I'd messed up. "If you're worried, don't be. I-" Selena cut me off by trying to cut me in pieces. "Wait, hold on!"
"If you think I'll let you manipulate us with that information, you're wrong! Odin, help me already!" I realized she was being paranoid, and while Odin looked torn, I guess he was scared too. I should have remembered how they reacted whenever someone mentioned their mysterious lack of origins in the support. They thought I was gonna blackmail them or something! Odin sent a blast at me with his thunder tome, and I moved a table in front of me to take the hit, though it broke, and Severa charged through, driving her sword into my shoulder.
"GYAAGH!" I kicked her away and fell over, groaning. As she got up, I grabbed the sword by the blade near where it was stuck in me. This'll hurt, but I can't reach the hilt... I gripped it, feeling the iron cut into my fingers, and pulled it out, hurling it away. When Selena rushed forward again, I made a circle of fire around her and Odin.
"You idiots! I just wanted to tell you both. I thought it would be amazing to befriend people I looked up to at one point... Guess that was my mistake! I suggest you try to remove any sign you two were here. I won't tell the others you were the ones who did this, but ever try anything again, and I won't let you do anything. Got it? Maybe this is why they say never meet your heroes." I ducked under the side of the tent and ran out, heading to the spot I knew they were keeping the medical supplies. Nydaxa had ordered the healers to take turns in that tent at nights in case of injuries, lucky me.
When I stumbled in, I remembered Nyx's warning. I should've realized sooner... "Aadyn! Hang on!" It was Felicia on duty, evidently. I saw Nydaxa there and realized they'd been talking, and he was hiding something behind his back. I wonder if-
"Aadyn? Who did this?!" I gritted my teeth as Felicia removed the armor from my shoulder. I realized I could see a silhouette through one wall of the tent. Judging from the long hair, Selena, listening. I started to tell, but I couldn't. I used to look up to those two a bit. I couldn't say it. But I didn't admire them anymore.
"Nobody worth mentioning. It was someone I thought I could trust, but I guess I was wrong. Don't worry, they won't be any threat to us now. They might as well be dead, for all I care." Nydaxa looked stunned at the venom in my tone, but no betrayal hurts like that of a friend, and that was how I'd seen them for a long time. I noticed the silhouette had stiffened as I spoke and walked away. Serves her right!
When Felicia started to try and check me for more wounds, I turned and looked at her. "I'm fine, that was all they manag- You're wearing a ring? Ha!" I looked back at Nydaxa, who had turned the same pinkish color as his eyes. "So you finally did it, huh? Oh don't look so surprised. I knew you were head over heels for her. Who do you think it was that put this ring in your room on her birthday? A present for you both. I thought it'd happen sooner, though." I couldn't stop smiling. Hey, just because we guys try to act like romance is ridiculous doesn't mean we actually think that. Now, excessively so, yeah. That I can't handle. But otherwise, it can make me kinda excited. I still can't stop grinning whenever I remember this time I saw someone propose to his girlfriend on my birthday trip to Medieval Times. I didn't know either of them, but it made me really happy. Does that make sense?
"So I'm guessing that you're hiding the box behind your back, then? No need to be shy you know. It's me. I'm so happy for you guys!" I grabbed them both and gave them a huge hug. What? I was excited, and it took my mind off what had happened. For now, things are looking pretty bright, I'd say!
Well, whaddya think? A lot of this chapter was... It got pretty personal, but I won't take out those details. While I typed it, I began thinking. It's really lifted me up. I couldn't end the chapter on a bad note, and I planned for those two to tie the knot soon anyway. Yes, the things I put about bloodstained hands and thoughts of torture were all true. Like I've said, I'm trying to make everything accurate about the me in the story, even the bad parts. Anyway, something else. One of the people who I talk to about this story a lot, Kaizero6, made a suggestion. Why not do the other castles thing from the game to free up more chapters, support, etc. Sounds like a good idea to me, but I wanted to run it by you guys. I'm thinking that we can have them listed as training grounds of some kind in the Astral Plane. Maybe you guys could try to put your castles in. But don't tell me the address. For some reason, that doesn't work on mine, whenever I try it says error, stuff like that. Same when I try to use a calling card. It's annoying... But, tell me if you guys like the idea. As always, please review, and I'm still open for OC and pairing ideas!