guys this was a double update so make sure you've read the last chapter too

It was already 8:30 pm by the time that Lapis had finally arrived at Pearl's house. All the windows were dark besides the one that led to Pearl's room. She's snuck into her friends houses before, climbed in through their window to hang out with them. But their rooms were never on the second story and they definitely didn't have parents that would skin her alive if they found out. But tonight that's not what was worrying Lapis. What was worrying her was the fact that Pearl was really distant at school and hadn't responded to any of her texts since she dropped her off at her house. She declined going over to Lapis' house like she usually did after school and wouldn't tell her why. So, Lapis could only worry since that afternoon, deciding to walk the seven blocks to her house.

Thankfully, there is a tree in front of the house that leads right to Pearl's room. Lapis sits on the side of the house and tries to figure out how to get up since the first branch is at least six feet high and she's barely over five feet. She decides on taking off her flannel and wrapping it around the tree, holding onto both arms and using it to help her climb up that way. By the time she's up to the first branch, her flannel is stretched and covered in bark so she ties it around her waist instead of putting it back on. The rest of the way up goes smoothly and luckily the screen covering the window is a bit loose so she can just lift it up and slide open the window, step in, and put it back on like nothing ever happened.

Immediately Lapis can hear gagging coming from the bathroom. For a moment she wonders if maybe she's actually sick, but the disassembled razor, pencil sharpener and scissors on Pearl's bed tells her otherwise. Taking a deep breath she walks over to the bathroom connected to her room to try the door, only to find it's locked. Slight panic washes over her. /Don't freak out, that'll just make her freak out./ Lapis grabs the scissors off of her bed and sticks one end into the lock of the door and twists it until she can hear it unlock.

Lapis opens the door and sets the scissors aside. Pearl leans over the toilet with her fingers in the back of her throat, trying to get herself to throw up, seemingly again from the vomit already in the bowl. Her nose is bleeding slightly and her arms are completely cut up. Lapis kneels down and grabs her wrists, though carefully not to irritate her new cuts, and turns Pearl to face her. Pearl shuts her eyes tight right as the tears come, only letting a few slip out.

"Hey, no, it's okay. It's okay, it's okay. You're okay," Lapis sits down completely and pulls her closer. "Well, maybe not one hundred percent okay but at least I found you and not your parents, right?" She doesn't even want to think of all the horrible things her parents would say about their daughter.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-" Pearl mumbles over and over again.

"No, no, it's okay. You don't have to be sorry, not at all. You're not in trouble or anything," Lapis decides on pulling Pearl into her lap and hugging her tightly. "Is it alright if I hold you like this? Just nod yes or no." She knows how hard it is to talk in this state. Pearl nods slowly, still tense as hell. Lapis nods also just to tell herself that, yes she is okay and no she won't be triggered right now. Not now.

Lapis flushes the toilet to get rid of the vomit inside of it and unravels a wad of toilet paper to press against Pearl's still bleeding nose. Pearl shifts to hold it herself and leans her head on Lapis' shoulder hesitantly like it was against some unspoken rule. The younger of the two traces random patterns on Pearl's side with her fingers and it seems to help calm the other. She realizes that Pearl is shaking and holds her a bit tighter, whispering sweet nothings to her.

They lose track of how long they've been there but it's been long enough that Pearl's bloody nose stops. Her tears stop around the same time and Lapis waits a little longer before deciding to try to actually talk to her. "What… happened?" She asks.

Pearl shakes her head and closes her eyes.

"Should I just leave it alone?"

She shrugs. Lapis waits. "I need a shower." Pearl says at last.

"I don't really want to leave you alone." Lapis says before she even thinks about it. She hates when people say that to her.

Pearl sighs. "You can be in the room. Not. In with me. But in the room."

Lapis blushes but finds no harm in it. "Okay."

They stay there for a few more minutes then Lapis helps her stand, even if she didn't need any help. Pearl steps into the shower and closes the glass door and begins undressing, throwing her clothes over the top of the door. Lapis sits on the counter and rests her head on her knees. She pushes the thought of actually showering with Pearl out of her mind for now. /That's not something you think about when she just hurt herself/ Lapis scowls at herself. /She trusts you enough to let you be in here with her, don't make it creepy/

Lapis hums to distract herself and closes her eyes, taking a breath of the steam filled air. Occasionally she glances at Pearl through the shower door to make sure she's not in there hurting herself further, glad that she can only see a silhouette of her girlfriend through the blurry glass. Soon enough the water stops and Lapis waits for instructions. Which don't come so she just closes her eyes as Pearl grabs her towel and strides past her into her room, closing the door to the bathroom behind her with a small "wait here".

Lapis opens her eyes and a few moments later Pearl reopens the door, turning around and sweeping her blade collection on the floor before laying down on her bed. The blue haired teen follows, observing that her girlfriend is now wearing light blue panties and her galaxy sweatshirt. She completely forgot she still had it but doesn't mind seeing how cute she is in it. Lapis sits next to her and offers her her hand. Pearl takes it and pulls her to lay down. "Will you please stay?" Her voice is almost smaller than before if that were even possible.

Lapis kicks off her shoes and turns on her side to face Pearl. "Mmhm. Are your parents home?"

Pearl seems to shrink at the mention of them. "They went to dinner."

The younger one nods, deciding to leave it at that. Pearl stares at her, sleep beginning to cloud her mind. Lapis kisses her forehead and pulls her closer to her chest. The blonde sighs and unties Lapis' flannel from around her waist, throwing it off the bed. Pearl hooks her fingers in Lapis' belt loop and tugs down, as if asking her to take them off. "I don't like the feel of them…" Pearl excuses herself. Lapis nods and takes them off as well. Pearl wraps her legs around one of Lapis' and closes her eyes. Lapis listens to her breathing become more relaxed as her girlfriend drifts off into sleep.

She feels safe. For once in her life she feels genuinely safe. Laying there with Pearl, listening to her steady breathing and she feels safe. Lapis looks down to her girlfriend's sleeping face, no thoughts in her mind besides how beautiful she thinks she is. /She's my idea of perfection. She's so strong even when her family is against her. Even when everything's telling her to give up, she's still strong. She doesn't even know how much I love her./

/Love her?/

Lapis glances at Pearl again, runs her hand through Pearl's short hair.

/Yeah. I love her./