Well, despite the nauseatingly small amount of reviews that I got for my last chapter, the show must go on, eh?

Thanks to TiffanyM and rubysunset for your awesome support. It means a lot to me that you both continue to review!

To everyone else who isn't reviewing, … review. NOOOWWWWWWW. Like, duh.

It's kind of weird that I'll probably never meet any of the people who have read my story, or maybe I have met you already … and will never know. Oh well. I'll be sure to see y'all in hell. Hell, that's right. That's where all the wicked parties would be!

Sorry for not updating in a while … this story may continue to be neglected unless I suddenly get an outpouring of support. I'm currently working on a story involving Snape and Lily with Senney, but I'll be sure to try to update this story too.

And the curtains open.

HGRWHGRWHGRWHGRW

Herbology flashed by in a blur. After being splashed with blue pus from a random, carnivorous plant that Professor Sprout decided to spring on the unknowing Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors, class had been dismissed half an hour early to go wash the pus out of hair, ears, eyes, noses, and other random bodyparts. Rumour has it that the pus also had the annoying tendency to stain blue. For a whole week.

Back in the Gryffindor girl's dorm, Hermione was frantically scrubbing at her face as Parvati and Lavender lounged on their beds, reading the latest Witch Weekly.

"ARGH!!!" Hermione washed her face in a flurry of soap and lather, "It's not coming off!"

"It came off of both of us, Hermione." Parvati droned, turning a page in her magazine, "Unless you have sulphur allergies, then you should be okay."

"Sulphur allergies?" Hermione said, turning around slowly to peer at Parvati from the bathroom door.

"Yeeeees." Parvati groaned, turned onto her back, and plopped a pillow beneath her head, "Weren't you there at the beginning of class when dear old Sprouty said that if you had sulphur allergies you weren't supposed to participate? It will stain your skin for a week."

"I was … held up." Hermione stared in annoyance at the blossoming blue stain striped across her left cheek, "So this … streak will stay on for a whole WEEK?"

Lavender left her perusal of a later edition of a teen magazine to glance up at Hermione for a couple seconds, "It doesn't look that bad. With proper make-up it could look sexy?"

"Sexy?" Hermione grimaced at her reflection, distorting her features.

Parvati sat up a bit straighter, and looked at Hermione, "Hey, Lav, you're right! With the right make-up, it could actually look cute. Like Austrialian Outback cute."

"Australian outback cute?" Hermione gaped at Parvati, dropping the towel she was holding.

"Yeah, you're right 'Vati!" Lavender dropped her magazine and nodded her head eagerly at Parvati, shaking her mane of shining blonde hair, "Like one of those girls with the messy buns. A la naturelle."

"A la naturelle?" Hermione's eyes widened even more until she flung her towel down, "Well, I do say that both of you have gone exactly mad. Since when were the words sexy, Australian outback cute, and A la naturelle used to describe a blue blotch on my face."

"Since now." Lavender said, turning to Parvati with an evil grin on her face, "You know what I'm thinking, 'Vati?"

"Oh no you don't." Hermione shook her head fiercely and started edging towards the door, her wand firmly in her hand, "No way."

"I think I might just comprehend what you are talking about, dear Lavender." Parvati nodded at Lavender, an equally evil glint reflecting in her chocolate eyes, "So what do you say Hermione?"

"Say what?"

"Are you up to a … hmm … how do we put this gently," Lavender grinned at Hermione.

"A MAKEOVER?"

Managing to dodge Lavender's and Parvati's hurling bodies, Hermione evaded their arms and flailing limbs, ducking stray grasping fingers and claws until she was safely out of the room, panting like a dog who just ran a marathon. Sprinting to the common room, Hermione spotted Harry and Ron playing wizard's chess in a corner, and promptly tossed their chessboard off the table, crawled under Harry's chair, propped the chessboard in front of Harry's chair, and hid.

" 'Mione!" Ron scowled, peering down at her from his sitting position, "Was that really necessary? I was nearly beating bloody Harry Potter!"

Harry glared at Ron, then looked between his legs at Hermione, "Yes, seriously Hermione. Was there really any need for that? And for the record, he was not beating me!"

"Makeover!" Hermione gasped for air, leaning against one of Harry's chair's legs, "I'm not here, I'm not here, I'm not here!"

"HERMIONE!" Two loud voices echoed down from the girl's rooms as Parvati and Lavender appeared in the doorway, "We know you're here!"

"Not here, not here, not here!" Hermione mumbled fervently, kicking Harry's leg, causing him to squeal very girlishly, "Act subtle!"

Lavender spotted Ron from across the room and waved her fingers girlishly towards him. Ron repeated the gesture. Except in a totally manly way. Let's just say … Hermione was definitely barfing on Harry's shoes. "Ronniekins," Lavender purred as she neared Ron, "Have you seen Hermione around here?"

Ron's face turned red, "Uh nope. Definitely not. Harry, my man?"

Harry shook his head adamantly, "Never even heard of the name. Hermione? Sounds relatively strange. OOUCH (Hermione kicked him from under the table)"

Parvati frowned, perusing the room, "Well she's obviously hasn't left the common room, because the Fat Lady hasn't been opened."

The tips of Ron's ears turned a definite shade of hot pink, "Well we'll help you look for her then!" Standing up, he roared, "HERMIONEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" (which made a bunch of third-year girls pee their pants from fear), lifted up a vase, looked under it, turned to Lavender, grinned, and promptly declared, "I can safely say she was not hiding underneath this vase."

"UGH." Lavender rolled her eyes at Ron's antics, "Duh. Like, seriously. Who would hide under a vase!"

(A/N: Cue in Colin Creevey peeking out from underneath a vase).

Parvati pursed her lips, "Well, back to the subject. We need to find Hermione. She needs a makeover!"

Harry frowned at the two girls, "Why does Hermione need a makeover?"

"Yeah," Ronald said, "It's not like she's ugly or anything. I think she looks fine the way she does, actually."

Hermione looked up at Ron between Harry's legs. Ron happened to glance down between Harry's legs, and held her glance for a few seconds, before returning to Lavender.

(A/N: I can safely say that was the weirdest two sentences I have ever written that actually make sense.)

"Well, we were going," Lavender sighed, looking down at her nails, "I repeat, GOING, to turn her into an Austrialian outback kind of cute sexy A la naturelle girl, but seeing as how she doesn't want to be found, I guess not."

"Her loss." Parvati mirrored Lavender's image, then started walking back upstairs, "Come on Lav. We need to start on that divination project anyways."

"Right." Lavender perked up, then turned to Ron, kissing him on the cheek, "Call us down if you find her, okay?"

"Sure." Ron grinned deviously at Lavender before bending down and giving her a proper snog (and chancing a look at Hermione, who avoided his eyes), "Come down if you want to cuddle, alright?"

"Fo'sure, Ronniekins." Lavender smiled sweetly at him, then pranced after Parvati through the dormitory entrance.

Ron sank down into his plush chair, and grinned across at Harry, "So, 'Mione, can we have the chessboard back? You are free to escape from Harry's legs now, unless you are feeling comfortable down there."

Hermione made retching sounds as she crawled out from under the chair, dislodging the chess board, "In your wildest dreams, Ronald. In your wildest dreams."