AN(4 October 09): This chapter really felt like giving birth. I wrote it something like half a page a time on the good days. If you add to that the exams that aren't over yet, it's a miracle I managed at all… Ah, well… at least I do like the final result this time.

Many thanks to everyone who let a review and to Hineko for her work. No idea when the next update will be, check my profile if you can't stand not knowing. Everyone confused about the weird denominations is invited to read Classification of Magic (you can find the link in my profile).

Harry Potter isn't mine. I don't even take credit for what isn't from the books as I can't possibly remember everything I went through on this site in the last three years.

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I'm bored. I've been staring at a fireplace for a good forty minutes now, and I swear to God that if I am forced to do so for even four minutes more then people are going to start dieing left, right and center. It wouldn't even be that hard with everyone being forced to wear ties as part of the bloody uniforms. The worse part is that, even in the unlikely case of the fucking waiting game coming to an end (really, I lost hope fifteen minutes ago…), I will most certainly still be bored for at least an hour still. Whose idea it was to have the foreign students coming by floo, I can only guess, but the pureblood politician bastard best be praying that we don't meet were there isn't at least a dozen reliable witnesses to point accusing fingers my way.

The fucker won't like it otherwise.

Floo is slow. The person behind you can't be sent without the first person having reached the destination already. And there's more. While faster than walking or flying or such things, it isn't instantaneous. Apparition is basically sending oneself to a parallel dimension where the whole universe is compressed within one sole point that is in contact with every single place of our world, there's no significant delay. But floo only speeds things up a bit. So if the distance is great (like a thousand kilometers between here and France… don't get me started on Durmstrang!) it still takes time. If you multiply that by eight hundred students (and there are likely more), you get an idea of why I'm worried about stuff possibly melting or exploding around me

What? It's not my fault that this is the first time I can't do anything to busy myself since I am strong enough to do chores!

Don't get me wrong, boredom is useful. Most of the great discoveries were made out of desperation to stop that particular brand of mental pain. But there's nothing to do and make it stop here. Not constructive boredom at all. In fact I am this close to using the returner in my pocket-trunk to escape from this place right now. Couldn't they have come by train? Or anything exciting, really? Seriously, what does it matter that Black it still on the loose? They are all saying that he is after me, aren't they? Well then, why would he go around attacking foreign students? I mean, what if they all return fire on him? I hear that wizards are not such sheep abroad; and I know that I, for one, would be hard pressed to dodge four hundred spells… Plus there is this business from yesterday. I was examining the way the Marauder's Map array works when activated and I swear to God that I saw his name somewhere on the grounds just as I was deactivating it. When I activated it back I couldn't find him but I'm almost sure that it wasn't a starvation-induced hallucination.

Am I fucked or what?

But now is not the time to dwell on my issues with how small my life expectancy is. Wallowing in self-desperation is, after all, almost no improvement at all from undiluted boredom. Time for something drastic then! I give D a kick in the shin but carefully avoid meeting her gaze. Who knows what could happen to me if I took so much anger head on? "Are you asking for me to kill you Potter?" See what I meant? This is already getting fun! "I wouldn't dare to not refuse to disagree with the possibility that your statement may not lack in truth…" I have no idea if I actually said yes or no to her; but as neither does she, or anyone in the vicinity really, it hardly matters. The best part is that, even if everybody knows that no-one understood, nobody can say it without making a fool of himself or herself.

I wouldn't try it on Dumbledore though. From what I gather, he is the kind of guy who would spend three hours figuring it out just because he couldn't stand not knowing.

"But we may discuss this in more depth at a later date…" I can't resist the temptation and look at her face before I give her a wink. I rule at word games! "…now entertain me! You are a pureblood aren't you? Well, say something stupid then! Or crazy, I'm not feeling picky right now…" I know. It's slightly suicidal to say something like that at the Slytherin table. But really, it isn't half as crazy an idea as the shin kicking was. That and I'm bored. If I can get a good riot going, it's likely that the foreigners will finally arrive right in the middle of it. Or so says Murphy's Law anyway. Clever guy that Murphy. He has his flaws of course… aside from the rumors about him being a her and shooting people that call her cute, you don't see all that many cats with buttered toasts strapped on them floating around.

Of course, there is the possibility of the Ministry of Magic covering it up… I think I saw an article about it in the Quibbler half a dozen months ago.

"Doesn't the old bastard always say in the Prophet and such that death is only the next great adventure? Would that qualify as entertaining enough for you? Because I'm fairly sure that we can arrange something to that effect Potter. Just keep going the way you are and that will be it." Ahhh! That's the stuff! B is good to banter with of course, but the contained violence of D just can't be matched when it comes to have your heart pumping with all its might. The adrenaline is positively making me shudder! I give her a grim smile. "Till death do us part… Are you really tired of me already honey?" She doesn't have time to answer (or to hurt me more likely) because the fireplace finally roars as its flames turn green and the first guest arrives.

About bloody time if you ask me!

Huh. That's… well, that's a big woman. I mean, the fireplace is the only thing in the hall that really can be called great (as there are smaller ones around the castle) but I kid you not, she isn't hard pressed to fill it, and not just on a vertical level either. I really doubt that she'll have kids of her own, unless she uses a form or another of shape-shifting. I even heard that if you do it in your animagus form it can carry over… But that is hardly a healthy mental image to entertain. Let's think about something else. Like about how cute the French firsties are in their shiny blue uniforms. Lucky little bastards! Hogwarts' robes suck big time. One of the things I gathered about my father is that he was so traumatized from these things that he passed half of his time raving about clothes once he graduated. I mean, I do play around with the tie, but recolouring the whole robe would just attract the wrong kind of attention…

I sigh loudly.

I know that I should be dipping in my emergency supplies right about now with the way my mind is wandering but I refrain from doing so. Everything that saves me from boredom is welcome until further notice. I'm halfway through pondering the possibility of good old Dumbles wearing bright clothes just to spite the students that can not when one French girl of fourteen years or so comes out. Somehow she draws my attention to her. I can see her hair, her gold blond hair, giving random reflects of the light. I can see the blue of her eyes, the colour of the Caribbean see. I can see the perfect shape of her body under the silk robes that look made for her. I can even see how everybody else is staring at her, much like I must be doing.

Oh, and I can see her stomp her foot on the ground as well as hear her yell.

"Stop looking! Why do you always look! Stop! Stop! I can't take it anymore! Go away! Stay away from me!" Yeah, the professors put translation charms on the whole building. Guess it will be weird if you start a conversation in the castle and suddenly can't understand anything the person you are talking with is saying because you passed through the great doors… Not that it isn't weird as it is, listening to the foreign sounds leaving her mouth and still being able to grasp the meaning behind them is downright freaky if you ask me. Whatever. The girl's tantrum snapped me out of my absolute fascination for her. Which isn't true for most of the people around me.

Hell, I even see D wiping some drool from the corner of her mouth!

Before I have the presence of mind of trying to sense exactly what made me all lovey-dovey about the admittedly gorgeous teen, she stomps her foot once more and leaves the hall running and most likely crying too. Does she even know where she is going? I seriously doubt that maps of the castle were made available to the visiting students considering how hard it was to get one for myself. I mean, it wouldn't be any fun if they didn't all get lost and ended dead because they went somewhere they shouldn't, would it? Which reminds me that the girl likely doesn't know about there being a Cerberus on the loose and (maybe) a Sirius Black and his hired ninja house elves.

I sigh.

As much as I loathe going looking for trouble I really can't let her go running around like that. There is such a thing as being too pretty to die (or too awesome in my case), after all. And it's not like the teachers look like they are going to do anything about it. Well, I-could snap-your-neck-by-sneezing sort of looks concerned but she doesn't know the place either, does she? At least, I have a good excuse to skip this awful event now. I give a look at B. "Let's go. I don't want the Headmaster's mistakes to diminish my chances at finding a decent correspondent to use as a sounding board for my ideas in runic arrays and in enchanting in general. The French hate us all enough already without having real reasons to do it." He sighs and nods. A man of few words if I ever met one. I turn to D. "Cover up for us if you can?" She frowns but reluctantly agrees. I give her an old-Lockhart-smile and a wink. "I'll give you your thank you kiss when we get back!"

The knife she threw at me didn't connect but it was close. Best to get going.

Now, if I were a fourteen-years-old French succubus-like creature and I were running around in the hope of finding some peace and quiet, where would I go? Well, I guess that I would try the grounds instead of the castle proper… Maybe the forest. Shit! I don't think that Beauxbatons' forest has got anything more dangerous than fairies (not that fairies can't be dangerous if they want to, mind you). I don't think she is going to expect the kind of nasties we have around here… "Go check on the third floor. I'll go and see if she is around the Forbidden Forest. Once you are there use point-me spells until you get a result or until I come for you. You know how to cast those, right?" He does. That's good. "Here, take this." I give him a pair of knives. "Use the first one to stab anything threatening and the second one to stab yourself if you start to feel the way we were in the hall. The pain should help you to focus."

Soon, I am on my way to the forest.

I take the Marauder's Map out and activate it. Sex on the beach. What? At least it's shorter! Totally not my fault that whoever came up with the map was a hormonal teenager who created an imprint-personality of himself or herself on the bloody thing! Anyway, I don't know how much help the map is going to be… After all, I don't know her name and there are a lot of ghosts floating around that I don't know either. Hopefully she'll be the only one out of the castle. There is a Fleur Delacour near the West edge of the forest. Let's see if it's her. I walk faster. No sense in giving Hogwarts an opportunity at ambushing me.

It shouldn't as I'm trying to protect a student, but who knows with she-castles, really?

While looking at the map, I take a banana from my emergency stash. No sense in being incoherent anymore now that the threat of madness by inactivity disappeared. Whoever Fleur Delacour is stopped moving on the map. I hope it doesn't mean that she is hurt or something like that. Hey! Is that pinky stalking me? Huh… I totally understand why she goes by Tonks now. It's weird, but at least there aren't a lot of jokes one can make about it. Nymphadora on the other hand… let's just say that it's too bad that I still never got around extracting revenge for that major offense with the whole kidnapping thing.

Poor, poor girl.

"Wotcher! Looks like we got the same idea huh? Hey, is it me or is it like really cold all of the sudden? I'm having chills running up my back…" I snort. "I would propose to warm you up but there isn't time right now. I think that I know where she is, but I am not sure that she would appreciate male company right now. Do you know how to cast a disillusioning spell?" She blinks then nods. "Yes. It's part of the charms on the training schedule for Aurors and I thought that I would get a head-start… Do you want me to cast it on you?" Auror training huh? Well, that's interesting to know. "Go ahead. I'll cover you, though I still won't go too close because of her weird powers. You should be immune to that at least." I try not to think too much about the incredulous snort I get for an answer before she casts the charm.

Unfortunately, there's no way to tell if the shudders come from the spell or something else.

Ah, well… No time to dwell. Which is good. We are walking fast, but it takes forever to reach Fleur Delacour. Did she really need to go this far? It's not like normal wizards would go after her… and even if they did, well… a couple extra kilometers isn't going to make a big difference is it? Hum… well, I guess that for someone like little D it would. He only prays on the weak, so it wouldn't be worth the hassle for him. And here we are. Just as I finish a second banana I get a glimpse of her blue dress through the vegetation. I whisper to T to go on.

She does. Carefully. So as not to startle her.

"Wotcher!" Or not. I can feel a headache starting to form already. The girl is, of course, ready to run for it, but I hit her with a muttered and colourless calming charm. Not quite as good as the potion but what can you do? "Hey there, no need to be afraid! I just came to see if you are alright. I'm a prefect, see?" Obviously, the girl doesn't see because she is fighting the effects of the spell with all her might. But what else did I expect? We are outside after all. So no translation charm for us. Yay! The best part is that I never learned anything that could help. I'm so not about to try legilimency for the first time on an unknown entity. And, in fact, I didn't even know there were such things as translation spells before the teachers told us about the one they put on the castle for the tournament.

No matter how many times I say it, it still surprises me that you learn something new everyday.

T has clearly seen that she isn't helping any because she seems nervous, which incidentally isn't helping either. I take action before things go too far. With the help of my awesome recolouration powers I make it so that a rock in front of T starts displaying a message from me to her. It says: Take your wand out and pretend to cast spells on nearby rocks. I'll try to translate things for you. She nods, as if to herself, and points her wand at the rock the furthest from the French girl, who is babbling incoherently at this point. I take a second to think and concentrate. There! Blue script is appearing where T is pointing her focus now. It isn't French of course, as like I said I don't speak (much less write) French. But if I remember right, Beauxbatons' students have mandatory classes on runes. If she really is fourteen like I think she is, then she should have a good enough grasp of the Nordic runes to understand what I say.

Let's hope at least.

It isn't easy. While writing in a runic alphabet is not too hard, I can't really use the translated letters to form English words like I would normally do or she won't understand a thing. So I can either use the runes as letters and write in a Nordic tongue (yeah, right!), or I can use the broader (and older) runes that have more like words/expressions meanings. The latter is not too hard, but it can lead to weird interpretations and there are words like prefect that simply don't exist. So the real translation of what I made of T's sentences is something like: Salutations. Being afraid is unnecessary. I am to observe if you are unharmed. I represent the law. So yeah, it's a little weird, but that's what you get for rushing things.

It's not like this is everyday occurrence!

At least she seems to understand since she (French girl) is answering now. She just took some parchment and a quill and started writing. The problem, of course, is that I don't know how I am going to read it all the way from here… I hope that pinky picked runes as an elective. If she does want to be an auror, then Care of Magical Creatures is a must, but she could have picked either Runes (for wards) or Muggle Studies as the second elective. Come on, don't be a pureblood! Come on! Yes! She is translating! "I am… in satisfactory condition? The eyes of the… people… are restless and cause… despair. This fate I… win? …from the weight of my lineage. Foolishness… from myself… to react in such shame, I bear. But I tire of their affections." Huh. Well, either French-girl sucks or T does because this is the shoddier translation work I ever witnessed.

And please keep in mind that I was there when I started to learn runes. Granted, I am a genius…

"Ok, so the stuff in the Great Hall happens a lot. Well, I can definitively help you there. I'm a metamorphomagus myself and I had to deal with a lot of shit because of it. You just need to create a shell for a time. Pick a couple of friends you really want in your life and offer a mask to the rest of the world. Something to keep them at bay until you feel comfortable with yourself." A shape-shifter? Oh, I really did pick well! Those are just too damn useful! A prefect/future-auror/metamorphomagus is very hard to top. Like the caviar of the minion world. If you add to that that she didn't pick Muggle Studies and is therefore likely not a pureblood… Well, that's lieutenant potential if I ever saw it!

But maybe I should go on with the translation…

The best I can come with is something like: It is eternal? I will assist. I have similar problems being a changeling. You must shield yourself from the people but have one or two trusted allies. Keep all other far until you fully enter your maidenhood. While the girl is puzzling the meaning behind the odd agglomeration of words, I ponder T's status some. I don't think that she realizes just how useful her talent is. European wizards aren't big on Black magic; it has got a bad reputation for some reason or another. But Asian and African wizards see shape-shifting as much more than a substitute for powerful glamours. It is the best tool to play with Body magic, to implant Form magic in your own self. Indeed, while there are very few better ways to gain superhuman qualities than reorganizing your blood circulation into an appropriate runic array, it may cause even greater problems than tattoos would to a normal wizard. But T could play with it without having to worry too much about screwing up since she could always undo it in a blink of an eye.

Well, unless she screws up so bad that she dies, that is.

But what are the chances huh? If I'm the one doing the planning, then I would say close to nil. No, as long as I am the one telling T what she can or can not do, I'm pretty sure that she would do a wonderful Black mage. I just have to see if I can find good books about Location and Soul magic for her… I am unsure if the Potter vault's books are high level enough for someone with her obvious potential. Looks like the blond one finally got the general meaning of my message. She seems really excited and quickly writes something back. Which is almost bad, as I need to pinch myself quite hard to disperse the haze that her strange powers are starting to put me in. T translates the best she can. "Praise… to… providence! After much… fight? …a kindred spirit… is found. The sharing of… the tales is our goal. I beg you to… bestow? …your wisdom upon me. I would be forever… be strapped to you? That can't be right…"

I almost give my presence and position away by slamming my hand on my face.

Of course it isn't right! Is she dumb? The girl obviously meant to say bound, not strapped! I definitely can't afford to associate with people with such lame understanding of runes, especially so if they are as old as T and take the elective. So she is totally joining B until I am not ashamed of knowing her anymore. That, and she'll owe me for it. Well, she looks like she gave up on translating for now. "Look, how about we go talk about it inside? It'll be way easier. We'll go to an isolate corner I know about. Nobody will bother us there." My final translation comes out as: Let us discuss inside the stronghold. I know of a peaceful place where no man shall intrude. The blonde agrees. Thank God! I'm glad it's over for me. It's downright cold around here and I can't feel my legs all that well anymore. Plus, we are technically in the forest and that doesn't sound good no matter how you put it.

I let the both of them go ahead.

It takes a couple of minutes for the younger girl's presence to vanish. I start heading back towards the castle. Hopefully there won't be any more incidents of the kind until I am as bored as I was today. I take the map from my pocket and look for B while I walk. There he is! It shouldn't be too long before I join him. I wonder why one Susan Bones and one Hannah Abbot are next to him on the map… Hmm… isn't Bones the name of Assistant's aunts? Oh dear! Poor B! If he spent that much time with these two without any male around to give him moral support… Well, that can't have been a very pleasant experience, can it? If you add to that the suicidal tendencies of the pair and where they are exactly…

Maybe I should walk a little faster, yes?

I start running. No point in tempting fate. That, and the less time I am alone inside the walls the better I'll feel. After all, I don't know how long the I was helping a student excuse will last with Hogwarts. Soon enough I am tumbling down the final corridor. I can see B and the Hufflepuff girls sitting against a wall. Something isn't right here. Why isn't Assistant making my Social Skills teacher's ears bleed? Why are they all that pale? Did they just have an encounter with the Cerberus? That doesn't make sense… the girls already met with it and B knew about it at least. They shouldn't be like this. "What happened?" If anything, my question seems to startle them further yet. B levels his wand. Assistant and H soon follow. "Show yourself! Or I will start throwing reductos around!" What? Oh! Yeah! The disillusioning charm is still in place! Finite incatatem. Why isn't it working? Is it such an advanced charm that it needs a stronger counter? Well, better not to make them wait.

My shields are good but I'd rather not test them like this.

"It's me! Harry! Pink prefect used the chameleon charm on me!" That seems to cut the deal. The three of them relax instantly. "I don't suppose that one of you guys know the counter? No? Didn't think so." I sigh. "You'll be happy to know that the French girl's problem is over, by the way. So, what the hell happened here? You three don't look too hot…" In fact, H is shivering. B is the one who answers. "Harry, we just saw a professor being eaten by the Cerberus." Oh.

Well, bugger!