Make sure to check out the questions at the bottom of the chapter! Feedback is much appreciated!
Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter. Poor Kai...
Chapter 11: The Truth Hurts
Kai's POV
If only my eyes didn't feel so heavy as I struggled to lift them open
If only I didn't have to rely on my other senses instead
If only a strange, swimming sensation didn't make my head spin
If only a dull ache didn't pulsate in two distinct places on my body
If only my abdomen didn't ache and cause me to wince with every other breath, every small, yet sudden movement
If only my arm didn't reach down so I could finger the soft bandages encircling most of my torso
If only I didn't need bandages at all
If only my breath didn't quicken slightly, panic threatening to overtake me
If only my mind didn't strain to remember past events
If only my hand hadn't traveled to the other aching part of my body
If only my fingertips hadn't brushed my right shoulder
If only...I hadn't froze at how wrong this was
If only my left hand hadn't grasped my right shoulder, as my mind struggled to comprehend
If only I didn't realize that something was missing, something wasn't right!
If only my hand didn't keep searching for something that wasn't and never would be there
If only I didn't start hyperventilating at the thought
If only my mind didn't repeat over and over
(I can't breathe Icantbreathe)
Because this couldn't be happening, not to me, not to my family, because I had to fight, had to keep fighting and without my arm I couldn't...couldn't protect...couldn't...couldn't live...
If only I hadn't puked on his shoes as I leaned over the bed to rid myself of my nausea
If only I had seen him sleeping in the uncomfortable looking chair next to my bed
If only he hadn't started awake, immediately coming to my aid, immediately worried...
If only I hadn't heard the panic laced into his, "Kai? Kai, what's wrong?" between my heaves
If only his comforting hand hadn't been placed on my back to steady me
If only the bitter taste in my mouth didn't make my eyes water
If only he hadn't been so gentle as he eased me back down onto the bed
If only he hadn't carded his fingers through my hair in a soothing motion, gently asking me again...what had happened?
If only I hadn't found out I'd lost my arm
Maybe then I could've composed myself enough to give Cole an answer
Alright, so I need to know...
1) Do you like every other chapter has the "if only" format?
2) if no, should I jusr make them every few chapters? Or should I completely eliminate them?
This is super important because it will determine how I proceed with this story!