Driving to Seattle

Two days, it had been two days since I confronted Bella about her relationship with Garrett and she had ran from me. I turned up to school the next day and she was nowhere to be seen, nor was Alice. I had no doubt that Bella had convinced Alice to stay home or perhaps go on a hunting trip and I was almost thankful for that. Alice was too easy to manipulate and I had no doubt that she would tell me everything I needed to know and her opinion is the one that really mattered in this, but I knew better. I needed to hear Bella's story first especially if she was my mate like I suspected.

I still wasn't upset with Bella. Carlisle knew and apparently they voted on it, so Bella and Garrett's illicit relationship couldn't be for a bad reason. I just wanted to know why and I wanted to make sure that Alice wasn't just a pawn in Garrett's game. I knew Alice cared for him, I could sense that when I was talking to her, but I really wanted to observe them together, so I could get a better feel for them and maybe even figure out what they're missing.

I didn't bother to sit with the Cullens without Bella there. Edward would be reading my mind, Emmett would be… Whatever the hell he does, and Rose would be supportive, or she would side with Bella, either way it was best to be avoided. My regular lunch group wasn't much better, all the boys wanted to see my stitches and all the girls kept on asking if I was okay. It was hell, but what could I do. I could have tried sitting alone, but I knew that either one of the Cullen's or my human friends would have simply sat with me, so it wasn't worth it.

My chin was fine. The bruise was already turning a weird purple/yellow color, so it didn't look the best, but it was fine. The stitches hadn't pulled apart and it was healing nicely. The only problem was that it hurt to talk, so I of course used that as an excuse to basically become a recluse. Thankfully everyone understood, even the teachers. Seth had called Thursday night and asked how I was. I smiled at the memory, I had definitely picked my new friend well. Back in Texas Peter and I were thick as thieves and although I was enjoying the break from Pete's negative emotions I had missed the fundamentals; having that one person to do stuff with… like spy on a vampire hunting animals. I needed to call Peter soon and check in on him.

On Friday night Jacob came around with my truck and it looked as good as the day I got it. I thanked him for it and listened to him as he told me in great length what he had done to fix it. Jacob had come not only with my truck, but with a warning from his father. Jacob thought it was stupid and he didn't even know the importance of what he was telling me, but Billy had warned me to pick a side or there would be consequences. Jacob apologized profusely, but I just brushed him off. I knew that with Seth being a potential wolf it could bring complications, but it's not like he was a wolf yet, so I didn't need to make my decision right now.

Saturday came and Charlie knew I was going to Seattle today. I hadn't heard from Bella so I doubted she was still coming with me, but that wouldn't stop me.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with?" Charlie asked.

"No, dad," I said, "you've got your fishing trip, go, enjoy. I will be fine."

"Do I need to remind you that you split your chin open on a tree?" Charlie asked and I grimaced. No, he did not, the constant pain was enough of a reminder, thank you very much.

"Didn't you say you were going with Bella Cullen?" Charlie asked next.

"Yeah, but I haven't seen her since Wednesday, so I'm not sure we're still on. I think I'll just go alone."

"Jasper, Seattle is a lot bigger than Forks."

"I know, but Houston is like a million times bigger than Seattle. I'll be fine, Dad, I know what I'm doing."

"I just wish you weren't going alone," he said.

"Okay," I gave in, "I promise I won't go alone. If Bella flakes and I can't find someone I won't go, or I'll just go to Port Angeles, okay?"

"Okay," he accepted. "I've gotta go before the fish go back to sleep."

I waited fifteen minutes after Charlie left before going out to my truck. I didn't care what I had told Charlie, I had been planning this trip for too long not to go. Forks was too small at times, I needed to get out and Seattle would be perfect for that. I unlocked my truck and jumped inside. I let out a sigh, it was so good to have wheels again. No more replying on Charlie, no more bike fantasies about Bella… Okay, so there was still going to be that.

I wished Bella would stop avoiding me so we could hash this out already. If I knew where she lived I would have already tracked her down, but my brain had chosen now to act afraid. There was just something about storming into a houseful of vampires unprepared that filled me with dread. Maybe my self-preservation was finally returning.

I was just about to start my truck when I heard the passenger side door open and close. I looked to my right and there was Bella. I glared at her, I couldn't help it.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, wincing in pain. I didn't miss her flash of concern for me.

"We had plans," she said, "to go to Seattle."

"I remember, but I haven't seen you in two days, and the way we left things…" I trailed off. I didn't know how to proceed. My heart was saying forgive, but my head was telling me to make her beg for it.

"Look I'm sorry about how I handled things," she said, "and I'm sorry for avoiding you, but I needed time."

"To do what?" I asked, looking deep into her golden eyes. I was trying to figure out how she was feeling, but I was getting nothing.

"Process."

"Process what, Isabella? You're giving me nothing here." I could feel her hurt at my casual use of her full name.

"I needed to process the fact that you're my mate." Okay, so I wasn't expecting that at all. "Seeing you hurt, how you ignored your pain to stand up for Seth, smelling your blood again, things just clicked into place," Bella looked at me nervously. "So?" she asked when I didn't say anything.

"So what?" I asked. "I already know you're my mate." Well I wasn't a hundred per cent sure on it, but now I was. Bella was shocked.

"How?" she asked.

"You're a vampire," I said simply, "I should be running the other way, avoiding you and your family at all costs, but I'm not. I'm drawn to you and I know that I care for you deeply."

"Oh," she said lamely.

"Tell me about Garrett," I pressed.

She sighed. "What do you want to know?"

"Switch with me," I said.

"What?" she asked confused.

"Switch with me," I repeated, unbuckling my seatbelt. "We can't just sit here. I want to go to Seattle and if you drive we can keep talking."

She could see that I was right and we switched seats. I put my seatbelt back on and she started my truck, pulling away from the house.

"Tell me about Garrett," I repeated. "Your story. I'm not going to prompt you or ask any questions, just tell me what you want me to know."

"Okay," she said, but she didn't say anything. I could tell she was nervous, so I just waited for her to be ready.

"We're no longer fucking each other," she said once we had left Forks and it was good to hear it from her and not just Carlisle. "I don't know when it started, or how…" she trailed off.

I knew she was lying, surely vampire brains came with good memory. I stayed silent and so did she.

"Alice couldn't give Garrett what he needed," Bella said, "she couldn't feed his beast and it kept on coming out. I was slipping." I noticed that Bella was driving way above the speed limit, but I was confident in her skills, so I didn't mention it. "I was slipping," she repeated. "I spent close to twenty years with Edward and then he was suddenly with Carlisle and not me. I stuck to Rose and Em, but it wasn't enough. It was hard for me to accept that Edward was no longer mine and that he never really was. Alice and Garrett joined us in 1950 and things just intensified. Everyone was mated and I was on the outs…

"I needed that connection, I craved it. I was about to go out on my own, maybe switch up my diet, snack on humans for a while. Emmett was actually the one who suggested that Garrett and I use each other for release. I was against it at first, most of us were. He was mated to Alice and it just didn't seem right to me, it wasn't fair. I had been there and done that with Edward and Carlisle and I didn't want to do it again. Emmett explained why it would work and I still don't know how he understood the situation so well. He made several good points; the fact that Garrett not only thrived on blood for so long, but also sex, the fact that I was essentially a repressed virgin and beyond ready to overcome that…

"We all came around to it, everyone but Alice. It was hard for her. She doesn't remember her human life, so it's just, she constantly feels as though she's not acting like herself because she doesn't remember who she was. We've tried to find someone from her past, but all her family is dead and as she doesn't remember anything it's hard. She's not even sure her name's Alice, she thinks it sounds right, but the doubt is there. That's why she relies on her visions so much, because she can be sure of them. Once we made the decision to give it a go the future changed and she saw it all. Garrett's beast would be satiated enough for him to live successfully with the Cullens and I would no longer run…

"Even when it was accepted by everyone, Garrett and I struggled with it. We both didn't want to betray Alice, we knew we had her blessing, but it was tough. The first time, we just decided to give it a try and it was awkward as fuck, but we couldn't deny that it was what we both needed. After that we thought we were fixed, we went months without having sex. We were foolish, living a lie, denying ourselves one of our basic instincts. Garrett almost slaughtered a busload of children and I found myself thinking I was worthless. I was going to go to the Volturi and commit suicide. It didn't come to that. Carlisle could see we were slipping and we were force together and once again it calmed us down…

"There was a lot of trial and error, but we found exactly how long we could go without each other. Sometimes we pushed it, but everyone learned the signs, so it never got that bad again. It was once every two or three months. Sometimes more often, sometimes less. There were periods of time where Garrett and Alice got along well and there was no need for me, and there were times where Edward and Carlisle had a fight so Edward sought me out for friendship and that seemed to calm me down. Then there were the opposite. Alice and Garrett wouldn't be getting along, so he would need me, and for me, it was mainly just my thoughts getting the better of me, the feeling of worthlessness mainly, but Garrett was always there for me. We kept each other afloat…

"Four months ago was the last time we had sex. We were nearing needing each other when you came to town. You distracted me, you made me start to second guess certain things, you irritated me and I loved it. I calmed down to the point where I found I didn't need Garrett anymore… It wasn't that I didn't need him, because I still have my needs, but I didn't want him anymore, I wanted you and only you. You had me thinking, questioning, and just living… You made me want to live again. I was hopeful for the first time since losing Edward's affection. Garrett on the other hand, he's been slipping…

"Garrett and I sat down not too long ago and hashed things out. He's happy for me and you, he is. He actually confided in me about the Alice situation, now more than ever he wants to fix it. He wants to find what's keeping them apart and move forward. I think him seeing me find you and how much it's changed me for the better is showing him that there's hope for him too. Finding what he's missing is the hard part though. We've all tried thinking of anything and everything, but no luck. Emmett suggested asking you, but of course we couldn't do that without you knowing all the facts. He thinks a fresh perspective is all we need and we've all noticed that you have this uncanny ability to just understand everything."

Bella said no more and I just sat there dumbfounded, staring at her. I didn't expect that much detail. I thought she would lie, avoid the topic, keep me in the dark for as long as possible, but none of that happened. She had surprised me and that was a first. I didn't know what to say or even where to start. Everything made sense; the reason Garrett and Bella sought each other out, the fact that it was only because they needed it and that there was no real feelings between them. I felt like my brain was going to explode. It just, I couldn't comprehend it all, it was information overload.

"So what are we doing in Seattle?" Bella asked like she hadn't just fucking revealed the secrets of the universe to me.

I looked away from her and noticed that we were already in the city. How and when did that happen?

"Jasper?" Bella asked. "Are you okay?"