Chapter Eleven

I awoke to the smell of coffee and bacon and wandered into the kitchen. That oversized tome Sammy called a Lit book sat open on the table before him. Leave it to my brother to remember to bring his homework along on a hunt. Gregg stood before the stove and the two were talking gravely when I entered, they stopped.

"Don't let me interrupt."

"I was telling Sam all about my experience at Stanford and the west coast. Sam tells me you've never been to California. You gotta see it Sam, you can go from the Pacific to the mountains all in one day. It's exceptional."

"And Palo Alto is near San Fran?"

"South. But we'd go up there quite a bit. You know clubbing, Castro."

"The Cuban dictator?" Gregg laughed loudly and poked me in the stomach. When our eyes met it was as if he were asking my permission to continue. It was now or never, to tell Sam or to pretend we were no more than friends, to see if Sam would still accept me, different.

"Castro's the gay neighborhood of San Francisco. People who live there don't have to put on false exteriors. You see you're fair share of transgenders, and some of the most beautiful drag queens in the world, but mostly it's just couples who are living normal lives, shopping, hanging at a café, on their way to work. San Fran had a way of making me feel very comfortable, letting me know there was nothing wrong with me. Missouri is rather conservative, don't you think."

I heard someone wheezing and realized it was me.

"Dean, breathe." Sam ordered and I sat down across from him. "So. You two are a couple?"

Gregg stayed silent, knowing it was best to let me direct the conversation with my brother.

"Yes." My answer no more than a whisper.

"I thought so; I mean you only hang out together like everyday. And well, there's the little looks you give each other."

"Go ahead Sam, tell me what's really on your mind. Tell me how much you can't believe it, how disgusted you are….take a swing if you want. Just don't drive off in my car, cos she's mine and that just wouldn't be right."

Sam placed his coffee mug on the table heavily. His face was pensive and his eyes stared off into the other room. I waited for a sign, anything, to let me know how he felt. Gregg remained silent, and nearly forgot to pull the bacon from the stove before it burned. He'd been through this with his family years before, with not such a good outcome.

"It's probably best we don't tell Dad." Sam got up and made his way to the coffee maker. "Gregg, you need a refill?"

"Yeh, that'd be great."

We mechanically reached for the food and ate. The silence finally broken by Gregg.

"Sam should be visiting some colleges now, to help decide where he wants to apply."

"We don't have that kind of money."

"There's financial aid, scholarships, work study. People do it. If you want this for yourself badly enough, you can make it happen." Sam said nothing and I found myself clenching and unclenching my jaw.

"This is what you two were discussing when I walked in. Don't you think we've had enough stressful reveals for one weekend?"

"Yeh, I'd say going to college ranks right up there with monsters are real and my brother is gay as being really contentious topics of conversation. Brilliant students attending college, definitely deviant behavior."

"That's not what I mean. You don't understand."

"Enlighten me."

"They have to protect me. We don't know exactly what from. It's just a mandate. Take care of Sammy; no one asks me my opinion on the matter. I'm just a subordinate, suppose to follow orders like a good little soldier, just like Dean is. We're John Winchester's little marine unit, just the three of us against all that bad stuff. A real team sticks together, cos there's no I in team."

Sam wasn't even done yet. I hadn't seen him angry like this since he broke it to Dad that he and I were moving to Kansas City. That night, he laid the plan out to Dad and Dad simply said no. Then he made the grave mistake of telling Sam it was an order. All of Sam's righteous anger and pent up wrath came out then. "Stop me." He was out the door before either of us could catch him, but I knew he'd return, since he had nothing on him, and since I was an integral part of the plan succeeding I figured he just needed to cool off.

Dad had other ideas. He told me to pack up and move out. He wanted Sam to learn a lesson about being alone versus sticking together, but he didn't know Sam the way I did. Sam would do what ever he thought was right, consequences be damned.

I followed Dad's truck out onto the highway, but I kept calling Sam's phone until finally he picked up. I went to get him.

"I'm not taking you to Dad, we're headed out to KC, let's see if your plan works, genius."

When Sam was done with his "explanation" he stormed off into the bathroom. Sam's plan may not have been perfect, but it had it's perks. One of them was having some regular income for once and the other was sitting at the table with me. I'd made a friend who was more than that. I had to admit, I was enjoying this vacation from the hunting life, and if I thought deeper, I knew I was falling in love. And I knew this fantasy land couldn't last forever. Just as Sam wouldn't be with us this time next year.

"Sam." I shouted. "If you want to look at colleges we'll go visit some, okay?"

My brother opened the bathroom door and peaked out. "You're with me on this?" He'd been pissed only a moment ago, but now his face was eagerly looking for my approval.

"No, not completely thrilled that you want to move away, but I kinda figure I owe ya."

"How?"

"For letting me have this." I spread my arms to indicate the room, sending a smile to Gregg. The tension still hung like a thick mist. Too many secrets had been revealed, and there were more questions now, and worries, and no answers. Life had suddenly become more complicated for the Winchester brothers, and I wasn't quite sure what we were suppose to do.

WWW

The weekend, had definitely not gone as planned. But, I'd say killing a monster without Dad's assistance, and having a brother who doesn't mind that you're gay and having a boyfriend who doesn't mind that you're a hunter. Well yeh, that's a weekend. Just not one you'd be chatting about at the water cooler come Monday morning.

We arrived back at the apartment just after the sun had set. Sammy yawned, making an obvious point to dismiss himself inside so Gregg and I could have a bit of privacy.

"I gotta get some sleep, I got too much crap to do tomorrow for the meeting." I'd forgotten that Gregg would be going to Seattle for the rest of the week. I felt a clingy need to stay with him, but I wasn't going to show it.

My body defied me and Gregg replied. "Hey, I'm only going to be gone a few days."

"Still gonna miss you."

"Are you being all sentimental on me?"

"Who? Me? Never."

"I gotta get going, it's late." The warmth of his breath was on my neck as he made his way gently nibbling at my skin. Our lips connected and the delicate nips were gone replaced by a hungry urgency. This went on for quite some time, and I was aware we were making out in a parking lot in the dim light of the street lamp. But I didn't care.