Out of the Ash

by selfluminousbody

Four years after the ZA, Pippa Barnes works hard to build a future for her community and raise her family. When searching for provisions for her people, she encounters old flames in the new world and must face the people they've become, while fighting for what she cares about. Sequel to For You I Was a Flame. Negan/OC

11. Chapter 11

"Pippa. Pippa?"

I inhale as I start to hear his voice.

He nudges me. "Pippa Marie Barnes."

"That's not my middle name." I murmur, holding Abel to me.

"Well, it should be because it's got a hell of a ring to it, don't it?"

"Why are you waking me up? I told you I'm not up until seven."

"I've gotta take a piss."

"Get your hand off my thigh," I reply with a rasp in my voice, shoving his hand off me, "I didn't mean move it somewhere else."

He chuckles, "Let me out."

"It'll wake Abel."

"Yeah, well, it's six-fifteen, we've all slept in long enough." He pats my leg, "Come on, scooch."

I sigh, gently getting out of bed, while scooping Abel up with me.

"Mommy?"

"Shh." I lay him back down in the bed after Negan moves out.

"How 'bout you cook us up some eggs and bacon while I'm gone?"

"How about you leave and stay gone?"

"I was kidding," He kisses my lips, before picking up his pants off the bed frame, "Workers should be up around seven.

"You know, I could actually make eggs and bacon," I counter, leaning against the frame, "We could have a nice morning as a family and I promise I won't spit in your eggs."

Negan laughs under his breath. "It's their job, Pippa."

"Yeah, but it makes me uncomfortable."

"Yeah, well, they earn points for every meal they bring up here," Negan explains to me, "So, I can order them not to come up, but that'll mean they won't get paid, but if you feel uncomfortable, I-"

"Okay, okay, they can come up," I exhale, "What's on the menu?"

"Well, it's Tuesday, so probably some type of omelet with potatoes and toast."

"They make omelets?"

"It's not rocket science."

"I didn't fucking say it was, jackass." I slide my hands under his arms as he comes up to me, "I just think it's a tad fancy."

"You think omelets are fancy?" He brings me in with a humored smile, "What kind of backwoods, off the grid hillbilly holler did you come from?"

"Shut the fuck up." I cackle, letting him kiss me.

"Move your knee," He says between kisses, "It's grazing my leg just right."

I look his face over, moving my knee. "Like that?"

"Careful," He touches the small of my back, "If you load the pistol, it's gonna wanna be fired off."

"Gross."

"Well, then stop getting too close to the armory with your knee."

I start to laugh, until I hear a creak across the room. We look over and Jolyon's starting to wake up. I put my hand on Negan's chest and he gets the hint.

"Go to the bathroom."

"Yeah," Negan clears his throat and goes to the door, "I'll be back."

I nod, turning to look at Abel sprawled out on the bed. The door opens and closes softly. Get it together.

"Mom?"

"Hey," I smile, "You sleep okay?"

Jolyon nods his head, rubbing his eyes. "My throat's dry."

"You probably just need some water." I go to the fridge and pour him some.

"Did I hear Negan?" He asks.

"Uh, yeah, he..." I grab my pants, "Stayed over last night."

"Oh."

"He just slept over, that's all," I button my jeans, "Nothing more."

"You mean sex?"

"Jolyon."

"What?" He shrugs. "That's what you meant, isn't it?"

"Yes, but I was trying to avoid saying it."

"Why?" He asks me. "I'm not Abel, I know what sex is."

"Because it's part of my private life and therefore my business only."

Jolyon looks off, drinking some of his water. "You brought it up."

Shit, I guess I technically did. Abel stirs in the bed, until he opens his eyes and sits up.

"Good morning."

"Morning," Abel yawns, "What's for breakfast?"

"Omelets, I think," I answer, going back to the fridge, "Your dad is having the workers bring it up."

"Can't we make our own food?" Jolyon inquires. "We do it all the time at home."

"Well, because that's not how they do things here."

"When are we going home?"

I look over to the bunk beds. "You wanna go home?"

Jolyon shrugs. "Kind of."

"You don't like it here?"

He turns his head, meeting my eyes. But, before he can answer, the door opens.

"Man, that felt good," Negan rudely enters, "Second best feeling in the world."

"Charming." I fold my arms.

"Thanks," He chuckles, "Oh, good, the family's all up and at 'em."

"We're up, but we're not at 'em," I retort, "We're not at 'em until seven."

"Well, you know what they say about the early bird."

"It gets the worm?"

Negan points towards Abel. "That is absolutely right. The early bird gets the worm."

"Yeah, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"What?"

"That's a saying, too," I say, "A better one if you ask me."

"No one asked you."

"Dad, did you spend the night?" Abel asks Negan.

"I did."

"Okay, I thought I was dreaming."

I check the clock on the wall. "Alright, time to get up. Breakfast will be here soon."

"What are omelets?"

"They're like quesadillas made out of egg." Jolyon tells him.

"Oh, I like quesadillas."

I glance back to Jolyon. "Up, punk."

"I'm up," Jolyon swings his legs to the ladder, "See?"

There's a nervous knock on the door. Negan opens it and, to my surprise, it's not the breakfast workers. It's a woman in a blue silk robe.

"What?" Negan ask with an edge in his voice.

"Um…" She briefly glances in, "I...was-"

"Spit it out."

"You didn't answer my question." She sheepishly

replies, tucking her hair as she looks down.

"Oh," Negan nods, "Sure, darlin'. Go ahead; but hey!"

The woman looks at him as he tilts her chin up. "She's the only person you go visit. Understand?"

"Yes, Negan." The way she sounds saying that makes her seem more like a girl than a woman.

She goes and he shuts the door. He turns back, rubbing his palms together.

"Shit, it's colder than hell froze over in here."

"I'll turn on the space heater."

"Please do."

"What are we doing today?" Abel asks, leaning his chin on the end of the bed.

"Well, you two are going to spend the morning working on homework."

"Aw, but I did all my homework!" Abel complains.

"Yeah, well, I can write up new homework in two seconds," I drink some water from a glass, "Besides, Jolyon's book report is due soon."

"I finished that the other day." Jolyon informs me.

"Did you proof read it and edit it?"

"...No."

"Well, then you can spend some time doing that," I retort, "Think I didn't catch that you didn't do it last time?"

"Can't we do it later?" Abel pleads.

"I want it done before lunch."

"Aw, not cool!"

"Yeah, yeah."

The workers come in with breakfast, which I thought would put an end to this conversation. I try to look busy, so I don't have to stand there with a dumb smile on my face while they fix the table with food.

"I don't wanna do my homework." Abel says, sitting at the table after the workers leave.

"Well, I hate to break it to you, but you have to."

"Come on, Pip, let 'em work on it later," Negan finally chimes in, "It's just crap you make up."

I give him a look. "Yeah, and it's important that they learn that crap, because it's important they get a good education."

"I mean, sure, but come on; they did all the shit you made 'em bring. Give 'em a break."

"Homework before lunch."

He sighs. "Fine. But I don't know why it matters when they do it," Negan salts his potatoes, "If they wanna do it later, let 'em do it later. It'll get done."

"Because I said so." I pause from sitting, "Step outside for a minute?"

"Uh-oh," Negan scoots out his chair, "If I say I'm sorry, do I still have to fight you?"

"Out."

"Mom's gonna win," Abel quietly warns him, "She always does."

Negan chuckles, cocky. "Just so you know, I'm going easy on you, because I don't believe in hitting women."

I roll my eyes, shoving him out. "Shut the hell up."

"Language, Mother."

"Shut your mouth," I arch my brow, "And don't undermine me in front of my kids."

"This is why we're out here, letting our breakfast get cold?" He rolls his eyes with a grin. "I wasn't undermining you."

"Yes, you were," I put my hand on my hip, "You were making me look like the bad guy."

"Was not."

"Were, too."

"Okay, I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm going back in to eat."

I take his arm, stopping him. "I know you want them to like you, but labeling yourself as the cool dad and me as the mean mom, isn't the way."

"I don't know what-"

"Yes, you do."

Negan sighs, turning back to me. "I just thought they had a good point is all."

"Oaky, well, you can tell me that on the side next time and not in front of them."

"Boy, do you have power issues or what?"

"Negan," I give his arm a punch, "I mean it; we can't do that to each other. Even on shit like this."

Negan rubs his arm, exhaling. "Fine. You're right."

"Parenting isn't always fun and your kids aren't always gonna like what you say."

"Yeah, yeah." He opens the door to go back in.

I roll my eyes. It's like I have three kids.

"When do we have to do our homework?" Abel inquires while chewing.

I look at Negan, who's looking at me.

Negan glances to the boys. "After breakfast, like your mom said. She right; a good education is important."

Abel and Jolyon continue to eat their breakfast, Jolyon never really arguing in the first place. I smile, a little sweet on his additive towards the end. What can I say? I like him backing me up, even if it was just coerced.

"After homework, can we go outside?"

"Have you lost your marbles?" I cut into my omelet. "I am not letting you up on that roof again."

"I meant downstairs."

Negan looks over, also curious of my response.

"We'll see," I poke a forkful into my mouth, "It'll depend on if your dad has someplace to take you."

Negan looks down, trying to think. "The east wing has a spot."

"Good," I say cooly, "You guys can get some refresh air, while I touch base with everyone."

"Can I come with you?"

"I'd prefer you didn't."

"Why not?"

"Because it's dangerous down there," I tell Jolyon, "I want you to stay with your brother and Negan."

"Well, actually," Negan wipes his mouth on a napkin, "I've got my own base touching to do today."

"When?"

"At some point," He looks over, "I can take 'em with me, but if you don't want them running around the factory, I'll have the girls watch 'em, until I'm done."

"Your wives, you mean?"

"Yeah, they got nothing better to do," He shrugs, "Oh, one's going to see her mom at the library today. The boys can tag along."

"No, not if she's going to see her mom."

"It's no big deal," Negan insists, "They can peruse the books, while she talks to her."

"Tch, Negan," I exhale, "No."

"Fine, then one of the others can."

"No."

Negan abruptly puts his fork down, causing a clink. "Jesus Christ, Pippa, then who's gonna watch 'em?" He stares with a look in his eyes.

"Not your wives." I retort, giving the look right back to him.

"They're not witches, Pip; they aren't gonna cook the boys into a stew while we're gone."

"Our kids are not their responsibility."

"Yeah, well, you and me are both doing shit and they're the only ones with all the time in the world on their hands."

"That doesn't mean they want to babysit."

"I could do it."

We both look at Jolyon.

"I don't need a babysitter," He says, "And I can watch Abel here while you're gone."

"No, I don't think so."

"Why not?" Jolyon knits his brows. "We're just gonna be doing homework. And those ladies are right upstairs, if we need them. I watch Abel all the time when you're gone."

"No, Lydia or Meredith watch the both of you."

"You always tell me to look after him, though, and I do."

"The answer is no, Jolyon."

"What about that time before we found Halcyon?"

I look up from my plate. I notice Negan, who's already ocularly engaged, take a new curiosity in Jolyon's words.

"When we got separated from everyone else?" Jolyon continues. "Abel was only two and you told me to watch him, while you went to look for food and I-"

"Okay!" I put an end to the recollection. "Okay."

Jolyon doesn't go on and both he and Negan look at me as I continue to eat.

…

The lower levels of the factory, where the basements, boiler room, and incinerator are, are hotter than hell in July. By time I reach where my team that are working down here are, I'm drenched in sweat and from the looks of it, so are they.

"How's it going?"

"Their pipes are in good shape," Martin reports, wiping his brow, "But the problem is, is that this factory used to get water from the city water plant."

"Which is?"

"About four miles down the road," He says, "And obviously non-operational."

"Can they get it up and running?"

"Shit, probably not."

"So, then running water is not a possibility?"

"I didn't say that."

I knit my brows. "How?"

"They've got a water tower a hundred yards from their factory," Martin informs me, "Might be able to do something with that."

"Might?"

"Might," He looks me over, "What? You doubting me?"

I smirk. "No, I'm not doubting you."

"Good, because, if you were, I might take offense," He jokes, "Defect and start over here."

"And leave me?" I tease.

"Oh, think you're worth sticking around for?" Martin cocks a brow. "Pretty full of yourself."

"Well, I happen to know for a fact that I am quite worth sticking around for."

"Show me your data, I want to know where you're getting your facts from."

We both laugh with one another. My eyes blinks to the others in the boiler room. Some of them casually glance over, some are watching more directly as they work, while others aren't paying attention.

I exhale. "I should check on the others."

"Sure." Martin nods.

"Keep up the good work."

"Will do," He says, "How're the boys?"

"They're good."

"Haven't seen 'em since we got here."

"I know, Negan's been trying to spend as much time with them as possible before we leave."

"Which is when?"

"Tomorrow, I think," I scratch my nose, "You think I should stay longer?"

Martin shrugs his shoulders. "We'll be fine here, I'm sure."

I nod. "Okay."

"You wanna stay?"

"I have to get back."

"Well, then head back."

I nod my head again. "See ya later."

"How are things with you and him?" Martin asks, just as I'm about to leave.

I look at him. "Negan and I?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind me asking."

"Oh, uh…" I look off, "Uh, we agreed to figure things out."

"You mean, get back together?"

"Uh, we agreed to work together because of the kids," I explain, "The rest is...complicated."

"Because of his wives?"

I look over.

"We've been staying with the workers and working with the Saviors," He says, "We know all the tea."

I roll my eyes. "Him and I are not in a relationship and it's not because of the wives."

"Then what is it about?"

"That's personal, Marty."

"Yeah, sorry."

I bite my lip as he goes to go back to work. "Him and I weren't together when the world changed."

Martin looks my way. "What's that?"

I meet his eyes. "Negan and I broke things off months before the change."

His brows start to gather. "Wait, you told Abel-"

"I told Abel what I thought was best for him to hear," I exhale, "He's too young to know the truth."

"Which is?"

"Which is...Negan and I were just people who shouldn't have ever been together, but we were, and we agreed to end it, and then I found out I was pregnant and-"

"You lost his number?"

"No, but I couldn't tell him," I say, "There was a reason we broke up."

"A good enough reason that you didn't tell him you were having his kid?"

"Yes."

Martin nods. "Okay."

"I gotta go."

"Yeah."

I leave the boiler room, wiping driblets of sweat off my temples and cheeks. I wish I could tell him that it was because Lucille was sick, but I can't.

As soon as I'm up to the floor level, I have to walk outside for fresh, cool air. I spy Lourdes standing over by the bookkeeper, nodding as he shows her something on a clipboard. When she sees me, I tip my head for her to come walk with me and she excuses herself.

"How's it going?"

"All I can think about is getting him to fuck me in his office."

I nearly stop in my tracks. "Excuse me?"

"Reed," Lourdes says nonchalant, "I've been sort of dropping hints."

"What?" I look back at the bookkeeper, "Why?"

"He's hot," She shrugs, "He's got this rough around the edges thing going on, but he's smart and he doesn't seem like a total douche like some of the other assholes who have hit on me since I've been here."

"Has he hit on you?"

"If he hit on me, I wouldn't be thinking about him and me on the desk."

"Is this about Simon?"

"No, of course not!" She scoffs. "I just like the looks of the bookkeeper, that's all."

"You aren't trying to make him jealous, right?" I look at her. "Because it's been four years and the world has changed and it's Simon. You know, the guy who cheated on you and treated you like crap?"

"I know, I don't want him back, or anything," She assures me, holding open the door, "I'm just being the sexually confident woman who gets all the guys and never settles down. Like always."

"Mhm, well, can I ask that the sexually confident woman who gets all the guys and never settles down not go after the guys here? We don't need our deal going sour because of a couple broken hearts."

"Men shouldn't be so fragile," Lourdes shrugs, "Besides, it's better to break their hearts before they get mine."

"If you'd take the time to meet a nice guy, you might not have to worry about that."

"Thanks, mom, but we both know I don't know how to get the nice ones."

"Connor's nice...sort of."

"Yeah, well, I know him a little better than you," She says, "Enough to know he's not the kind to settle with. At least not for me."

"I know enough." I wince.

"How are our boys?" She asks me. "I haven't seen them in a few days and I'm sort of getting blue about it."

I chuckle. "They're upstairs."

"Negan's watching them?"

"No, Jolyon's watching Abel."

"I thought he was too young to-"

"Yeah, well, I changed my mind."

"Okay…"

Over by the fences, Nanda smokes a cigarette. Her lips are curled into a coy, flirtatious smile as she talks to a young man smoking near her.

"Put it out."

She looks at me, her smile fading. "What?"

"The cigarette," I tell her, "Put it out."

Nanda glances back at the kid, embarrassed.

"Aren't you supposed to be working?"

"I'm taking a break."

"To smoke?" I arch my brow.

"Well…" She goes to reply, before she rolls her eyes, dropping the cigarette with an annoyed sigh, "No."

I watch her grind the cigarette into the gravel, before we meet eyes. I look to the man she's standing by.

"Hi..." I puzzle my brows. He looks oddly familiar. "I don't believe we've met. I'm-"

"Pippa," He politely puts out his hand, "I remember from the other day. Alden."

"Nice to meet you, Alden," I shake hands with him, "What do you do here?"

"A little bit of everything," He answers, "But mostly welding and low grade blacksmith work."

"Impressive."

He smiles and looks towards Nanda. "I should get back to work. Take care."

"Okay," Nanda barely says, "Bye...See ya around."

He waves as he heads off, smoking from the cigarette between his fingers.

"What is your problem?" Nanda turns on me. "We were just talking."

"You know how I feel about smoking."

"You-"

"And you're coming back with us when we go."

"What? Why?"

"Because you came here to work, not to meet guys."

She scoffs. "We were just talking!"

"The men around here are scumbags, Nanda," Lourdes tell hers, "He probably is just looking to score one of the outsiders."

"Alden's not a scumbag, he's really nice," She argues, "He stopped me from falling back off the stairs, when some asshole nudged past me."

"Ah, Dios mio." Lourdes shakes her head, looking off.

"Oh, like you're one to talk?" Nanda arches her brow. "You've all but put your hand down that bookkeeper's pants." She looks at me. "And you?"

My eyes fix on hers, waiting.

Nanda looks me over, huffing. "Alden was just being nice. I don't want to leave."

"And that's exactly why you are."

"I meant, I want to help work off the debt," She follows us, "I was there. Look, I'm sorry. Let me stay. I promise not to smoke or talk to Alden. Please?"

"We'll talk about it later," I tell her, "Just get back to work."

"Are you gonna let her stay?" Lourdes asks after Nanda reluctantly goes back to her post.

"I don't know," I shrug, "Would you?"

"Well, I remember what I was like when I was twenty-two, so...no."

I scoff, chuckling. "You are still that way and Nanda and you aren't the same person. She flirts, but I don't think she's ever been in a relationship."

"Or had sex."

I look at her.

"What? They've been with us since the beginning; when have you ever seen her with a guy?"

"Never…which is sort of why I am apprehensive about leaving her here without you."

I observe people as we pass through. Lourdes is right; I haven't been down here all that much, and I hate to judge books by their covers, but the men around here are rough looking. Everybody looks a little rough nowadays, that's just how it is, but the Saviors have a whole other air going on that practically says "I'm gonna want you to swallow."

"Martin will look out for her."

"Yeah…"

She snickers. "You know, we're not her mothers, or even her teachers anymore; we can't stop her from sleeping with that guy, if she wants to."

"I know that."

"Do you?"

"Yes, Lourdes."

"Alright," She exhales, somewhat skeptical, "I gotta get back to work."

"Does that have a double meaning?"

She elbows me, laughing. "Bitch."

I laugh with her, until I see a familiar face walking along the upper level catwalk. "I'll tell the boys you love them."

"Por favor."

"Gotta go," I look back to her, "You're coming back with us?"

"Yeah, definitely."

I nod. "See ya."

"Bye."

I walk towards the concrete stairs. Dwight is stopped by a blonde woman with a nose ring; the same woman who Negan had show my people to their quarters.

She smiles in a way that makes her face almost light up. I can't see Dwight's reaction, except that he allows her to kiss his lips when she leans forward. Must be the girlfriend he was talking about.

I intend on walking pass them without notice, hoping the hall is wider than it looks and hoping that they get lost in each other's eyes enough not to notice me.

"Pippa!"

I turn. Fuuuck! Negan strolls up, that bat on his shoulder. The smile on his face swells my insides and I hate it. Especially when it seems like he knows and his eyes brighten with his smile.

"Off the clock?"

"Yeah, you?"

"I am."

I nod. "I was gonna go check on the boys."

"I'll go with you," His eyes blink past me, "D!"

No! I closed my eyes as Negan signals him over.

"I want you to meet Pippa, the leader of our newest allies." Some part of that sounded sarcastic. "And the mother of my children."

I bite my lip, before facing Dwight. I'm harrowed by the way he looks through me, past me. Like I'm a random face he's never seen or cared for in his life.

"Nice to meet you."'

"Likewise." I reply.

"You already met Laura." Negan puts his arm around me.

"Yeah, hey."

"Hey." She greets back, indifferent and unaware it would seem.

"D here's one of my top guys," Negan informs me, "A real underdog success story."

"Is that so?" I say, seemingly unimpressed or uninterested.

Negan looks at Dwight with a grin. "That it is. A real good story."

Dwight peers back at him and seeing this exchange makes me uncomfortable.

"For another day, perhaps," I clear my throat, "I've got to get back to the kids."

"Yeah, I said I'd toss a few with 'em. Catch ya later, Dwight. Laura."

Dwight nods curtly. Our eyes briefly meets as I move past them.

"So, what's the 4-1-1 on the water situation? My guys are saying it's a no."

"Well, Martin said he might try to get water here using the water tower outside the factory."

"Any water left in there is stagnant as shit."

"You can drain a water tower, you know?"'I huff. "And I trust he knows what he's doing."

"Yeah, you seem to have a lot of faith in that guy."

"Is it wrong to have faith in my people?"

"No, but why is he calling all the shots on the water?"

"Because he knows what he's doing; he got us running water."

"Was he an engineer or something?"

"No, but he should have been," I head up the stairs, "The man's like Mozart with that kind of stuff. He's good with his head and his hands."

"Is he?"

I roll my eyes.

"What'd he do before?"

"He was in the army for a few years and then got out and worked as a ranch hand in Wyoming, before he became a park ranger."

"A park ranger?"

"Yeah," I look back, "What?"

"Seems like a step down from an army ranger."

"I never said he was a ranger."

"I saw the tattoo."

I continue up the stairs. "He liked being a park ranger; said it was quiet and he could be alone for days when he wanted to."

"Doesn't seem like the stoic type."

I shrug. "Just because someone wants to be alone doesn't mean they're a stoic. Besides, it's not total isolation he was looking for, just time away from the world when he could."

"You seem to know an awful lot about him."

"Well, yeah, that's what happens when you get to know people," I stop and turn, "Wait, are you fishing for something?"

"What would I be fishing for?" Negan asks.

My eyes scan across his. "For any shred of evidence that I'm sleeping with him."

"Are you?" He inquires. "Or have you?"

"No." I lie, offended that he asked.

"No?" Negan repeats, skeptical.

"No." I climb the next flight.

"You know, I wouldn't be angry," He continues, "We'd be square for-"

"For what?" I demand to know. "You think the knowledge of me sleeping with someone is gonna make us even for you having wives, plural?"

"You mean to tell me you've got cobwebs down there that date four years back?"

"Is that so hard to believe?"

He scoffs.

"I had two kids to worry about," I sharply jab, "Four, if you count the Patels. Excuse me if sex wasn't top priority for me like it was for you; I had responsibilities." I continue up the stairs. "Nice try trying to make yourself feel better."

"Feel better about what?" Negan huffs, following me, "My wives? I don't feel bad about having them around."

"Then why did you wait to tell me, huh? Or why do you want to be 'square?'"

He exhales behind me. "Fucking forget it. Sorry I fuckin' brought it up."

"You should be."

"Yeah." He scoffs.

"Yeah."

"Fuck off."

"If I did, would you want to know about it?" I retort. "So, we can be square?"

"Fuck you."

At that, I scoff. "Not a chance."

"Would you shut the hell up?"

"I will when you do."

"Fine."

"Alright."

"Great."

"Yep."

"Pippa."

"You're the one who's keeping it up."

"No, you are because you're being a goddamn child who's trying to have the last word."

"What the fuck are you doing?"

He goes to retort, but instead laughs below his breath.

"What?"

"You're right," He chuckles, "I was trying to get the last word."

"Yeah, well, some things never change."

"They sure don't."

Negan puts his arm back around me. I almost shove him off, but I'm not as mad anymore.

"I'm sorry for asking."

"You should be."

Negan snickers, planting a kiss in my hair. "You're an asshole, you know that?"

"I'm aware."

"Good," He humors, "So, just to be clear though; you haven't screwed around with that ruggedly handsome cowboy park ranger?"

I look up at him. "No, I haven't."

He nods, looking me over. He doesn't say anything more on that note.

"Hey, back there, when you introduced me to Dwight, you told him I was the mother of your children."

"Yeah?"

"You've said it before," I touch his hand that's on my shoulder, "Do you mean it?"

"Mean what?" He asks. "That you're the mother of my kids? It's true, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but…" I glance over to him, "Jolyon-"

"Jolyon was the first kid I ever thought of as like a son to me," Negan interrupts me, "I know I'm not his actual dad, but it doesn't feel that way to me. Never did."

I hold my gaze on him. Amazed.

"He doesn't have to call me dad or anything, but I consider him my son, hence why I refer to you as the mother of my children and not just child."

He looks over at me and I lower my eyes, nodding. I swear that man knows how to whip me up. Even without trying. I feel like such a slut for getting turned on first, before I felt touched by what seems like a genuine statement, but hey.

"You think they burned the top floor down?"

I chuckle easily. "Shut up."

We open the door to the room and as I go to greet the boys, I'm halted by the empty room.

My eyes scour the room. "Where are they?"

"How the hell should I know, I haven't been up here since this morning."

My chest starts to rise and fall shallowly. "Negan…"

"Relax, they're probably upstairs," He walks towards the last stairwell, "The girls probably have them."

I follow him up.

"Jol! Abel!" Negan calls. "Where ya at?"

The click-clacking of a pair of heels comes towards the hallway. "You're looking for the boys?"

"Yes, where are they?" Negan asks the redhead.

"We heard them arguing downstairs, so Sherry went down." She says.

"Sherry?"

"Yeah, she came back to tell us she was gonna take them to the commissary to pick out snacks."

"How long ago was that?"

Before she can answer, the door opens behind us. I look back and see both boys and Sherry behind them.

"Hi, Mom." Abel greets with what has to be a stale Oreo in his hand.

"Wh-" I look at Sherry. "Where have you been?"

"Sherry took us to the commissary," Abel replies, "They have snacks there. These are good, you should try one."

"Go downstairs," I calmly say, "Now."

"Are we-"

"Right now."

Abel puts the rest of the Oreo in his mouth and turns around. Jolyon does the same, but not before meeting my eyes.

As for Sherry, I know if I say anything this minute, I'll hit her, so I march down the steps, knocking into her on the way. She scoffs but doesn't say anything.

"They were hungry," She tells Negan, "I was just being friendly."

I go into the room and close the door, fuming.

"We're sorry." Abel apologizes. "Sherry said it'd be okay."

I get some water from the fridge and drink it down.

"I'm sorry, Mom."

"It's fine."

"No, you're mad," Jolyon says, "Because I was in charge and I let us leave the room."

"It's okay, Jol, really," I tell him, "I was just worried is all. This place isn't exactly kid friendly."

"I wasn't gonna let us, but Sherry said we'd be there and back in ten minutes."

I nod my head. "Jol?"

"What?"

"Don't go places with Sherry alone."

"Why?"

"Because I said so," I look at him, "And don't tell anyone we know her and Dwight."

"W-"

"Because I said so."

Jolyon furrows his brows, but nods. "Okay."

I nod, drinking more water.

"So, you aren't mad at me?"

"I might not let you babysit for awhile, but no."

The door opens. "How pissed are you?"

"I'm not pissed."

"Bullshit."

"Watch your mouth," I warn him at the table, "And I am not pissed."

"You're not, huh?"

"Nope."

"So, I wrapped Sherry's knuckles for nothing?"

"You hit Sherry?" Abel asks.

"He's kidding, dude." Jolyon says.

I look at Negan, whose brows flinch a little, offended by my inquiry.

"Yeah, kid," He blinks back to Abel, "I was just joking."

"Oh, okay."

I hear gurgling and glance over at the boys. "Hungry?"

"A little."

"Eat your snacks," I say, "It'll tie you over until dinner."

…

"You're bluffing."

"Nope."

I arch my brow. "Are, too."

"How much you wanna fuckin' bet?"

"Sh!" I giggle, putting my finger to my lips. "The kids are sleeping. God, I feel like I shouldn't have to tell you this anymore."

Negan chuckles, putting his cards down. "I've got a good hand."

"I've got a better one."

"You're not supposed to tell me that, dipshit," He retorts, "And you don't fucking know that."

"I think I do."

"How much you wanna bet?"

"What do you want?"

"You to take your top off."

"Haha," I put my hand down, "Full house."

Negan grins wide. "Straight flush."

"Fuck you."

"Watch your mouth."

I shove my cards his way. "I'm done playing."

"Oh, come on;" He chuckles, "One more game."

"It's late."

"It's nine-forty."

"I'm a mother of two, that's late."

"So, you're going to bed?"

"Duh."

"Can I stay again?"

"If you want," I shrug, sauntering to the dresser, "Why the hell would I care if you sleep on the rug?"

"Funny."

I cackle quietly. "Yeah, you can stay."

"Are you gonna wear what you were wearing last night?"

I smirk. "I think so."

"You shouldn't wear that many layers to bed."

"It's cold, I've gotta keep warm."

"I'll keep you warm."

"Oh," I turn, playfully traipsing over to him, "You will, will you?"

"Uh-Huh," The gravel in his voice gives makes me smile, "So, you can take it all off, honey."

"You mean my clothes?"

"Yeah."

"All my clothes?" I touch his shoulders as I lean my knee between his legs. "But then I'll be butt ass naked in bed. With you."

"You would." His hands roam.

"And you'll be...clothed?"

"Down to my drawers."

"Seems like a not so fair trade."

"I could get naked."

"I don't know, my kids are here."

"Our kids," Negan pulls me in, "And if we get up at the same, we can dress before they even know."

"And if they wake up to go to the bathroom?"

"..."

"Ha, got you there, didn't I?"

"Come upstairs."

I sigh, moving away. "Play something else; this record's broken."

"Fine," Negan exhales, standing up, "We'll sleep in our skivvies then."

"Yep."

"Don't get smart."

I peel back the covers. "Entrez."

Negan comes to the end and gets in after dressing down. Not before coping a feel of one of my butt cheeks and giving it a squeeze.

"Asshole!" I laugh.

"Sh, the kids." He pulls me towards him as I get in bed.

"You're not funny."

"Of course, I am." He kisses me, "I'm a regular goddamn comedian."

"In your own mind."

"Don't sit on it." He says between a kiss.

I glance down and he follows my gaze.

"Or do, but wait until it's hard first."

I look up at him. I climb off him. "You're disgusting."

"Shit, hey, I'm sorry," He touches the crook of my elbow, "Hey, come on, I was just being an asshole."

"Yeah, you were, that's the problem."

"Pip," He encourages me to lay on my back, instead of my back facing him, "I said I was sorry. Don't be mad; I was just trying to be funny. It was stupid; a naughty thought that slipped through the filter."

"You don't have a filter."

"You're right, I'm an idiot."

I peer up at him. I'm not really all that upset about the crude joke. I'm pissed because I'm really hot and I want him. I don't know why this keeps happening. It's biological or something.

Maybe it's all the talk of sex with Lourdes and Nanda, I don't know. I want him to put it in me. How's that for a naughty thought?

His fingers brush my face. "I'll stop."

"Fine." I reply. Goddamn, he's got me.

"Would you find it agreeable, if I kissed you?"

"I think that would be fine," I put my fingers over his encroaching mouth, "If you're looking to ruin the reputation of a decent belle like myself, that is."

He snickers against my hand, kissing the fingers. He moves my hand and kisses me.

"You brute," I let him kiss me again, "You absolute scoundrel, you."

"I love you."

I touch his face, kissing him back. "Put your hand under my shirt."

Negan slips his hand underneath and reaches for my bare breast. He looks at me as he holds it.

I kiss him and he situates himself to move half-over me. I feel his knee shift between mine and I don't stop him. His penis presses against my thigh.

I tilt my head to the side as he moves down to my neck. My fingers comb through his hair. He smells good. He lifts his head and looks down at me.

"What?"

"We gotta stop." He says in a hushed voice.

"Oh, okay." I bring my arms back to me.

Negan moves off to his side of the small bed. "Maybe one day, when you're up for it, we won't have to."

I lay on my side. "Who says I wasn't up for it now?"

Negan scoffs. "Yeah."

"I might mean it."

"What the hell does that mean?" He looks over.

I shrug. "I was getting sort of...up for it."

"But…?"

"Why do you think there's a but?"'

"Because there is," Negan says, "Otherwise, you would've grabbed it."

I snicker. "Maybe I was waiting for you to take it out."

"See, now I know you're lying, because you're a grabber not a waiter."

I snort, touching his arm. "That's not true."

"You've touched it as much as I have, maybe more."

"Shut up!"

He laughs, staring at me with his toothy grin. It settles. "Were you being serious?"

"I don't know, maybe."

His eyes scan mine. "We can go upstairs."

"Negan."

"Just for a little while," He suggests, "The boys are asleep. We'll come back after-"

"After you come?"

He rolls his eyes. "Forget it."

"It's not just about the boys," I sit up, "I don't want your wives to hear us."

"We'll be quiet," He tells me, "We used to do it all the time."

"In your office and my house."

"Yeah."

"What if we weren't as quiet as we thought?"

"Look, my wives are in their rooms. They won't hear us. I promise."

I look him over, waffling. "Do you have condoms?"

Negan's brows knit in a way that wants to know if I'm joking. "You're serious?"

I shrug my shoulders.

"Do you have unexpired condoms back at Halcyon?"

"No."

"Then how the hell do you figure we have 'em?"

"I don't know." I sigh, glancing at the bunk bed.

"We'd back in an hour."

I turn my eyes back to him. "You think you can last that long?"

Negan laughs, kissing me. "Shut your pretty mouth."

I chuckle.

"What do you say?"

I look at him. I told myself I wouldn't. But I want to.

"Negan?" The radio in the table calls out. "Do you copy?"

We both look over. "I'll get it."

"Ignore it, it's nothing."

"How do you know?"

"Because someone else can handle it."

"Negan, we gotta situation down here. Over."

I look back to the radio. I think I heard people in the background. I get up and go over to the table.

"Pippa." Negan lays back in an exhales, putting his hand over his eyes.

"Answer it." I extend it to him.

He takes it, ungrateful and annoyed. He puts the radio to his mouth. "Yeah?"

"There's a fight down here in the quarters," The voice replies, "Those people from Halcyon instigated it."

My eyes move the radio to Negan's.

---

Thanks for reading!

I don't have access to my laptop at the moment, so I won't be able to respond to the comments in the reviews, so if you have a biting question, comment, or concern, you can always PM me.