Let Your Heart Hold Fast

Chapter 11

It took several weeks and multiple visits with Dr. Lennox before Peter and Elizabeth finally understood what Neal's nightmares were all about. It was fairly obvious to everyone involved that Neal's time with Jenna and William was anything but pleasant. Unfortunately, they just never knew the full extent of Neal's mistreatment.

Through many conversations with Dr. Lennox, Neal shared what had happened to him, in bits and pieces. Peter and Elizabeth were saddened to realize that Neal really didn't even understand that the way Jenna and William Miller treated him was abusive and neglectful. In his little mind, their treatment of him was just the way it was. From locking him in his room, to sending him to bed without dinner, Neal's basic needs were often neglected. They learned that Jenna rarely lifted a hand toward him, but neither did she stop William from physically hurting him, whenever he felt like it.

Most nights Neal would put himself to bed and if he had a bad dream during the night, he would stay awake the rest of the night, afraid to go back to sleep. William and Jenna would often yell at him to stop crying and go back to sleep, but neither of them would ever actually check on him. All in all, Neal rarely had a good moment while living with the Millers.

Dr. Lennox, Peter and Elizabeth reinforced the fact that Neal would never have to go back to the Millers. Peter reminded him that William Miller was in jail and would stay there for a long time. As for Jenna, they had no idea where she was, but Peter and Elizabeth were pretty confident that no judge would give her custody of Neal, after she had left him like she did.

Neal was starting to feel more settled as the weeks went by and the nightmares even lessened, much to everyone's relief. The first night without a nightmare was the best night of sleep any of them had had in a long time, and the next morning, they were all in a great mood.

Although things were definitely better, Neal still had the occasional nightmare and he wasn't too happy with the fact that Peter and Elizabeth weren't letting him sleep in their bed anymore. His nightmares didn't seem as bad as they once were, and every once in a while he would wake up without screaming and without waking up Peter or Elizabeth. On these occasions, Neal would go downstairs, fix himself a snack, which usually consisted of cookies and milk, and curl up on the sofa with Satchmo to watch television. During these times, he would watch the classic movie channel that Elizabeth liked to watch, and he grew to love the classic rat pack movies they often showed. He especially loved Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra and the fedoras they wore in some of the movies.

Inevitably, Neal's nighttime wanderings were discovered and, of course, quickly put to a stop. Peter happened to go downstairs one night, at three o'clock in the morning, to get a snack and was surprised to find a sleeping Neal on the sofa, chocolate covering his hands and face. Satchmo was curled up next to him, sound asleep, as well, and the television was on.

Peter went into the kitchen and brought out a damp towel to clean the chocolate off of Neal. He was surprised that the kid never stirred during the clean-up process or when he picked him up and took him upstairs to bed. Once he had Neal settled again, he went back downstairs and cleaned up the rest of the mess made by the five year old.

The next morning, Peter watched Neal as he picked at his breakfast. Elizabeth watched him, too, concerned that his lack of appetite meant that he might not be feeling well. Neal told her that he felt fine and that he just wasn't that hungry, which gave Peter the perfect opportunity to talk to Neal about his nighttime adventures.

"I bet that's because you filled up on cookies last night, right, Neal?"

Elizabeth spoke up before Neal could answer. "He only had two cookies after dinner, hon. I made sure of that."

"Well, it seems like our little champ decided he wanted more sometime during the night, El. I found him sound asleep on the couch, after obviously pigging out on cookies and milk."

Elizabeth went over to the cookie jar and looked inside. "Neal George Caffrey, the cookies are almost gone! How many did you eat, young man? And what were you doing out of bed?"

Neal looked guiltily at Elizabeth. "I couldn't sleep, Lizbef, and I was hungry. I didn't mean to eat so many, but they were yummy. Maybe next time, you could make them taste yucky, so my tummy won't want so many."

"Maybe next time you should just hide them, so Neal can't find them," Peter said, with a laugh. "Buddy, you can't be wandering around the house when El and I are asleep, okay? What if something happened and we didn't know it? We need to know that you're safe in your room at night, is that clear?"

"But, I was safe with Satchmo, Peter. He won't let anything happen to me. "

"Still not a good idea, little man. If you're having trouble sleeping, you can read a book or you can come and tell us, okay? But, no more nighttime adventures."

"And no more cookies in the middle of the night, young man," Elizabeth added.

Neal didn't look happy with the new rules, not really understanding what the big deal was. Sometimes, a man had to wander, and sometimes, a man needed cookies in the middle of the night. "Okay, but don't blame me if I accidentally sleepwalk and eat cookies, Lizbef. My tummy has a mind of its own, sometimes." Neal suddenly looked like he had a bright idea. "Maybe if you let me have four cookies after dinner, my tummy won't want more in the middle of the night."

Peter laughed out loud at that. The boy never ceased to amaze him with his schemes to get more cookies. They definitely needed to stay on their toes with this little guy!

Neal came home from school the next afternoon excited and full of energy. Peter, who had been the one to pick him up from school, looked exhausted. He had been having some particularly tough days at work and his patience was definitely running thin. Neal's over-abundance of energy just about did him in, but luckily, he was able to keep his frustration in check, long enough to get the kid home.

"Lizbef! Guess what?! We're having a Halloween party at school and we get to dress up. Mr. Parker asked us if we could bring stuff for the party and I said that you would make us cookies. Can you do that, Lizbef? Please?"

"Of course, I can, Neal. When is the party?" Elizabeth asked.

"It's on Monday, Lizbef, so I need a costume. What should I be?"

Elizabeth felt bad that she hadn't given Halloween a single thought. "I don't know, sweetie. Why don't you have a quick snack and then you and I can go shopping. Would you like that?"

"Yeah! Can Peter come, too?"

Elizabeth looked at Peter and realized how tired he looked. "I think Peter is too tired, Neal, so it will just be the two of us."

After Neal's snack, they said goodbye to Peter and headed out the door. Neal was still bubbling with energy and was talking non-stop about anything that crossed his mind. Elizabeth listened happily, as she drove, finding great joy in his constant chatter.

Once they were at the nearest mall, they walked into a department store that Elizabeth thought might have children's costumes. Unsurprisingly, the costume department was teeming with parents and children, all trying to find the perfect costume. They looked through rows and rows of costumes, but Neal didn't like anything he saw.

"I don't want to be any of these, Lizbef, because that's what everyone else is going to be. Cole said he was going to be a fireman, Jacob's going to be a wizard, and Simon's going to be Buzz Lightyear. I don't want to be a superhero, either, because stupid Patrick is going to be Batman."

Elizabeth scolded Neal for calling Patrick stupid, before offering him a few more ideas. "How about a football player, Neal? Or a cowboy?"

Neal didn't like any of Elizabeth's ideas, so they decided to try another store. As they were walking though the store and into the mall, they walked through the men's department, where Neal abruptly stopped. "That's it, LIzbef! I want that!" Neal pointed excitedly at a mannequin that was wearing a peacoat and a fedora.

"What are you talking about, Neal?" Elizabeth stared in confusion at the mannequin.

"Can I have that hat, Lizbef? I want to be Dean Martin for Halloween. Please?"

Elizabeth looked incredulously at Neal. "How in the world do you even know who Dean Martin is, sweetie?"

"I saw him on TV. Please, Lizbef? I already have the shirt and tie. I just need a coat and that hat! Please?" Neal looked up at Elizabeth with his big blue eyes and she had no choice but to give in.

"Okay, Neal, but I want to warn you that none of the kids at school will know who you are."

"That's okay. I'll tell them, so then they'll know," Neal answered.

When they arrived home, Peter was walking out the front door. "I need to go in to the office, El. Something happened with one of the cases we're working on. I probably won't be home for several hours, so you two go ahead and eat dinner without me."

Neal looked excitedly at Peter. "Peter….I got my costume. Wanna see?"

"Not right now, Neal, okay? I need to get going." Saying a quick goodbye to Elizabeth and Neal, he didn't notice the sad look on Neal's face.

Once Peter had left, Elizabeth started dinner, deciding to do something quick and easy. She quickly made some chicken and dumplings, knowing that it was one of Neal's favorite meals. Once they were done eating and the kitchen was cleaned up, Elizabeth and Neal decided to play a board game. They were in the middle of a very intense game of Hungry, Hungry Hippo when Satchmo suddenly went to the back door and started growling. Elizabeth had never heard such a menacing growl come from their usually gentle dog, so she immediately grew suspicious.

Standing up, she quickly grabbed Neal by the shoulders and steered him over to the sofa. "Neal, I want you to stay here for a minute, okay?" she said, quietly.

Elizabeth could tell that Neal was scared by the way Satchmo was acting, but she couldn't comfort him at the moment. Grabbing the heavy duty flashlight that was on the lowest shelf of the bookcase, she walked over to the backdoor and peered through the curtain. She thought she saw a dark shape off to the right, but couldn't tell for sure. After suddenly turning on the backyard light, though, she caught a glimpse of a man running around the side of the house. With her heart pounding erratically in her chest, she quickly made sure the back door was locked, before going and checking the front door, as well.

Once she was satisfied that everything was locked up tightly, she grabbed the phone and dialed 911. While she was answering the operator's questions, she moved back to where Neal was and sat down next to him, pulling him into her lap. She could feel his little body trembling and knew that she was trembling herself. Satchmo had stopped growling, but he was pacing restlessly between the back door and the front door, his hackles still raised impressively.

After Elizabeth explained everything that was going on, the operator assured her that they would have a patrol car there shortly. She told Elizabeth to stay on the line, so Elizabeth grabbed her cell phone, knowing that she needed to call Peter, too. Unfortunately, Peter didn't answer the call, so she left a message telling him to come home right away. She tried to keep the panic out of her voice, but knew that she hadn't been successful, as she explained what had happened.

As they waited for the police to show up, Elizabeth held on to Neal, trying to get him to calm down. She talked with him about his upcoming party, even as she kept a close eye on Satchmo, who was still restless and agitated. Eventually, though, the dog came and sat by her feet, making her feel like whoever had been out there was truly gone.

Neal was looking a little less scared by the time the policemen showed up, thankfully. Two of the policemen came into the house to take Elizabeth's statement, while two other men looked around outside. While Elizabeth was talking to Officer Barton, Peter flew through the door with an immense sense of fear about him.

"Elizabeth? Are you okay? What happened?" Peter pulled Elizabeth into his arms and then reached down and picked up Neal. "Are you okay, buddy?"

"We're fine, Peter….really." Elizabeth tried to reassure her husband, but wasn't doing a very good job of even reassuring herself. After explaining the events to him, he went outside to see if the other officers had found anything. Fifteen minutes later, they returned and Elizabeth couldn't help but notice the strange look on her husband's face.

Peter started to say something, but Elizabeth quickly cut him off, as she looked at Neal. "Hey, sweetie, what do you say we go and get something to drink, okay? I'm a little thirsty." Peter tried to put Neal down, but the boy clung to him, not wanting to let go. Elizabeth gently pried him out of Peter's arms and Neal immediately clung to her instead.

Once Elizabeth and Neal were gone, Peter was able to talk in depth to the police about what they had found outside. The two officers that had been outside were talking with the neighbors to see if anyone noticed anything suspicious, but unfortunately, no one saw anything that might be of help in the investigation. Before they left, Officer Barton reassured Peter that they would have extra patrols in their neighborhood for a while. Peter wasn't completely satisfied with that plan, but he knew there wasn't much more that they could do.

Peter and Elizabeth spent the rest of the evening trying to keep Neal calm. They both sat by the bathtub as he played with his toys, and then they took Neal into their bedroom for the night. Peter thought that it would be better for Neal, but the truth was that both he and Elizabeth would feel better having him there, too. Peter was completely unsettled to think that some stranger had been so close to his family.

Eventually, after Peter had read three bedtime stories, Neal fell asleep. He hadn't been asleep for more than two minutes when Elizabeth started hounding Peter for information.

"Did you find anything outside, Peter? Did he leave anything behind?"

Peter took a deep breath before answering. "We found several cigarette butts and some footprints in the flower bed, El. There were also a few smudges on the kitchen window, as if he were trying to look in."

"Peter, who in the world could it have been? Are you working a case that might have led this man to us?"

"I don't think so, El. The cases we're working right now seem pretty benign. I can't think of anything that might have led up to this." Peter held his wife's hand tightly, wishing that he could cuddle up to her. With Neal in between them, that wasn't going to happen.

Elizabeth and Peter watched Neal sleeping for several minutes. He started to move around restlessly, but stopped when Elizabeth started rubbing his back gently and minutes later, he was sleeping soundly again.

Peter looked back at his wife. "You didn't notice anything strange while you were shopping, did you? No one was paying extra attention to you or Neal?"

"I didn't notice anything, but it was a little crazy at the mall. It was pretty packed for a Friday night."

They were both quiet for a long time, before Elizabeth spoke again. "Peter, you don't think this has something to do with Neal, do you?" she asked, worriedly.

"I don't know, hon, but I promise you, we'll figure it out, okay? Why don't we try to get some sleep? If I know this little guy, he'll be up at the crack of dawn." Peter leaned over Neal and kissed his wife goodnight.

Morning came much too early, but it was Peter that actually woke up first. He hadn't slept well at all, partly because Neal's feet were planted firmly in his back and partly because he couldn't stop thinking about the night's events.

Climbing quietly out of bed, he went downstairs and started a pot of coffee. As he waited for the coffee to brew, he sat down on the floor, near where Satchmo was laying.

"Hey, boy, you did a good job last night, protecting the family. Thank you." Satchmo looked up at Peter, his tail wagging frantically. Peter sat there for several long minutes, rubbing the dog's belly. He was so engrossed in his own thoughts that he didn't hear Neal come down the stairs, and it wasn't until he saw tiny little bare feet standing in front of him that he noticed.

"What are you doing on the floor, Peter? Do you need help up?" Neal asked, seriously.

"What makes you think I need help up, Neal?" Peter asked.

"Remember that commercial we saw, Peter? Where the grandma fell and couldn't get back up? She was old like you, remember?"

Peter grabbed Neal and started tickling him. "I am NOT old, little man! And I can get up without help, trust me."

Neal was giggling loudly at the tickling and started trying to get away. "Stop, Peter!" he cried. "Satchmo, help!"

Satchmo immediately jumped on Peter and started licking his face, not wanting to miss out on the fun. Neal took the opportunity to jump on Peter's back, too, and before Peter came to his senses, he was crawling around the kitchen floor on his hands and knees, giving Neal a pony ride.

Within minutes, Peter's back and knees were killing him and he tried to stop crawling. Neal, on the other hand, had a different idea and wouldn't climb off of his pony's back. Instead, he dug his heels into Peter's side, urging him on.

"Okay, kid, I think that's enough. My knees are hurting."

"Cowboy up, Peter!" Neal cried, as he dug his heels in again. Peter didn't look happy at having his own words used against him, but Neal thought it was funny. "That's what you always tell me, remember?"

Author's note: Uh-oh! Someone's been sneaking around the Burke residence and I doubt it's a vacuum salesman. I wonder who it could be… Thank God, Satchmo was there, right? The thought of someone spying on Elizabeth and Neal as they're playing a game is a little freaky.

Thanks for reading, everyone. I would love to hear your thoughts on the chapter.