Forever and Always

Chapter 11 - Nightmares Part 1

He was standing in the corridor again. The one that he'd been standing in for the past week. Again he saw with horror the Hollow coming towards him, coming in for the kill. And all he could do was stand there, compelled to stay still by some strange force while his limbs screamed at him to move, knowing what would happen next. He closed his eyes, he didn't want to see it. Not again.

"Captain Ukitake!" He heard Kenpachi shout behind him, his eyes opened involuntarily, knowing that he would see her jump in front of him again. See that hollow rip out half of her organs with its claws.

And he saw it. Unable to move, he saw her kill the hollow in front of him with surprising clarity. Saw the hollow dissappear in a flash of smoke, slowly being blown away by the wind.

He was kneeling down beside her again, praying for her not to die, his own injuries making it impossible to move. To get her to a doctor, a healer, anyone that could help her.

He heard her promise again, her promise that she'd be back before dissolving infront of his eyes. Turning into glittering dust, sparkling like miniature diamonds in the scant sunlight.

He collapsed like he always did, from the severity of his wounds, but this time he was falling, falling, falling. Falling down an endless black corridor, cherry blossoms swirling around him, dancing. Like his own Senbonsakura usually did.

Suddenly he hit the bottom, floating onto it like a cherry blossom himself, softly touching the ground. He got up, unsure of where he was, unsure of where he was supposed to be.

He turned his head slightly, hearing a soft whisper nearby. And then to his left side. And then to his right side. And then on his left again. Then in front of him. The whispers taunted him, pulling at him, causing him to turn his head in the direction that they wished for him to turn.

"Who's there?" He called out, wanting to know, needing to know.

"Noone. Everyone." The whispers answered, suddenly clear. They went back to the indistinguishable hum soon after.

"You should leave." They called. "Before he comes."

"Who?" He called back, not sure whether he should run or not.

"Go! Run!" They shouted, sounding more panicked now. He turned around and started to run.

But why was he running? He shouldn't have to. He had his zanpakuto by his side. He felt for it but found it to be missing. Now the panic started to rise within him. Where was it? When had it vanished? Where had it gone?

Fear gripped him like an iron claw and he felt like he was running for his life. He saw the light, the light at the end of the corridor.

"Byakuya!" Her voice called at the end of the corridor. He saw her standing in the opening. "Byakuya!" She called again.

He felt the hollow before he saw it. He opened his mouth, shouting at her to run, but no sound came out. Pushing himself forward even harder than before, he felt himself get slower, and she appeared to be moving even further away.

Just as the hollow descended on her to kill, his voice worked again. "Ari!" he screamed before seeing the claws descend upon her once more.

Byakuya woke up with a start, sweating heavily, feeling as if he had indeed been running down that corridor. His throat felt hoarse, as if he had been screaming out her name in his sleep. He thanked an unknown god that he didn't have a room-mate. It had been hard enough to hide the nightmares from his fellow companions as it was. Especially from Rukia.

Pulling his hand through his hair he got up and walked to the window. Opening it up, a strong breeze immediately swept through the room, cooling him down, and helping him to clear his mind. But that was only to be expected, considering he was on the forty-fifth floor

He sighed heavily. It had been long since the nightmares had been this bad, this intense. They had only been this bad in the immediate years following her death. Afterwards he had felt that he had been able to control them to a certain extent. Prevent them from getting this bad.

Having them gave him the feeling of having no control. Being absolutely useless and helpless as he watched her die again and again. He had never told anyone about them. Not even Hisanna. But he was sure that she had known. After all, if one starts to wander in the middle of the night to prevent themselves from sleeping, your partner was sure to notice that something was wrong.

After Hisanna's death they had been quite bad for a while but then he seemed to have gained control over them once more. He had never wanted Rukia to know the reason as to why he slept as badly as he did sometimes. He felt that he would present a certain vulnerability if he did and thus he had never told anyone.

Looking out across Karakura he muttered underneath his breath before making his way back to his bed. Coming to the World of the Living always intensified his nightmares, or made them reappear. Sometimes he was able to sleep completely at peace, happy and content with his peace of mind.

He hated the nightmares, more than he was ever want to admit to himself. And he hated the fact that he had them and was unable to stop them, making him feel just like back then, helpless to do anything but watch. Sliding back underneath the covers, he was seriously considering whether or not to simply take a sleeping draught so that he could sleep.

~.~.~.~.~

Aizen stood in front of him again, starting to regenerate already, and already beginning to taunt him again. Suddenly the Bakudos that Kisuke had planted within Aizen activated and all he could do was watch, knowing what would happen next, fearing the upcoming outcome.

He felt himself go black, felt himself passing out, falling into darkness. He felt like a mere spectator, watching the events go by. Watch his life simply move on. Sometimes he had felt as if they were watching, as if the Soul Society still cared about him, but all he could do was speculate. Wait. And hope.

Again and again he saw himself imagining seeing them there, seeing them stand around him, greeting him once more. And then he saw Aizen again. Saw him stand there and taunt him. Taunt him that they had forgotten him. That they never had truly cared.

And his inner hollow was always there as well, laughing at him, grinning maliciously. 'Now I can take over you' he'd say, 'Now you can't do anything against me.' And he never could.

But this was just the routine nightmare, the one he had had for ages, he already knew what would happen next. But still it felt different, it felt as if something had changed. Was it because his powers were returning?

Suddenly he found himself in a black orb, surrounded by the images of the past two years. He glanced around in confusion. What was going on?

"So we meet again Ichigo Kurosaki." Turning around, he came face to face with Aizen, but he looked more, how could he describe it, tired?

"Why are you here? Where are we?" His voice sounded weak, not like himself.

"Oh isn't that obvious?" Aizen grinned dangerously. "We're in a world that has no dimension, I created it myself. Isn't it practical?" He sounded amused, pleased with himself.

"Cut the crap." he muttered. "Why am I here?" He said, looking Aizen directly into the eye.

"You haven't figured it out yet?" Now Aizen was mocking him. "I'm showing you how you should wish your life had stayed the same. You wouldn't be able to see the suffering I'm going to inflict on you and your petty friends."

"Ichigo." Suddenly the scenery changed and he found himself in his inner world.

"So you finally show yourself around here again. You've left me alone for quite a long time." he spun around and was presented with the view of his inner hollow.

"How long do you think that you will stay king now?" His inner hollow grinned maliciously. "Do you seriously think that after all this time of leaving me here, stuck here, that I will let someone as useless as you remain the king?"

Ichigo just stared at him, praying that this was just a bad dream and that he would wake up. And soon. But it seemed he wouldn't be blessed with the waking up yet. The scenery reformed and he viewed Aizen and his subsequent capture again. And again. And again.

Kon looked at the sleeping form of Ichigo and shook his head softly. Ichigo might not like to admit it, but since the slow return of his powers the nightmares had gotten worse. He had tried to hide them from his family, not wanting them to worry about him. But that hadn't fooled Kon. His restless sleep had indicated that his dreams were anything but peaceful.

Maybe... No, Rukia would surely just throw him against the wall should he try and feign not being able to sleep next to the restless Ichigo and go to her. She'd probably step on him too. But that wouldn't matter, as long as he could be with his sweet Rukia once more...

Grinning to himself, knowing full well what Ichigo or the others would say, he made his way across the room to the door. But the sudden shout from Ichigo made him jump to unknown heights. Twirling around he ran back to the bed. He had to wake him before he made any more noise, no use in waking up half the building.

But no matter what he did, Ichigo seemed to be stuck in his nightmare, refusing to wake up. Or unable to do so. Deciding that nothing would help he jumped down from the bed and made his way to the door. After all, the least he could do was make sure that as little sound as possible left the room.

Just as he had reached the slightly ajar door, it was flung open, just as Ichigo started to mutter and shout anew. Flying against the wall, Kon muttered to himself. People could at least knock, people never knew if he wasn't maybe standing on the other side of the door trying to open it. But no, people never respected things that looked like fluffy animals.

Rubbing his nose he saw Rukia stand next to Ichigo's bed, trying to wake him up.

"It's no use Rukia." He said as he got up and starting moving towards the bed again. "I've already tried. He's probably got one of the bad nightmares again."

"What?" Rukia swung around and he just about managed to not go flying across the room again. "He's got nightmares?"

"Yeah." Kon said as he got an end of her pyjamas and started to drag her towards the door. He may be a stuffed animal, but he was still a mod soul.

"What are you doing?" She asked him angrily, about to kick him away again.

"You can't wake him up when he's in one of those nightmares." He stated matter-of-factly. "All you can do is close the door, and wait for him to calm down. Oh yeah, and find a quiet place to sleep."

She looked at him incredulously. "Is that what you do?"

"Of course." He said as he closed the door behind himself. "Oh yeah, and don't tell him that he had a nightmare. Don't ask about it and especially don't tell him he woke you up."

"Why's that?" She asked him, trying to see his small form in the dark.

"Simple. He'll deny it all the way to Pluto and back." Ichigo hated the nightmares and had tried to get rid of them intensely, so far without success though. And Kon knew that he didn't want anyone knowing about them. Especially Rukia.

~.~.~.~.~

They were running. He knew that much. He didn't know why they were running, who they were running from, or even with whom he was running. He just knew that he was running and that he had to run. Run for his life.

Looking around himself, he took note of the landscape. The trees were a blur. So they were running fast. He didn't recognise the woods, or any of the trees and yet... they felt strangely familiar. The trees were tall and beautiful. There was no sunlight, at least none came through the thick canopy of the trees. The path they were running on wasn't wide. It was small and narrow.

Suddenly he noticed the pain in his foot as he stepped on a rock. How had he not noticed the rocks before? He stumbled slightly but kept running. Still feeling the constant urge to go on. To push forward. And especially to not look back.

He felt a slight pull from in front of him and looking into his hand he noticed the other hand for the first time. So that was the source of the constant pull from in front of him. He studied the hand, wanting to know what it looked like. Wanting to feel the warm reassurance that it transmitted to him.

It was small, nearly as small as his was. But it was warm, beautifully warm against what felt like icy wind. It was also delicate. It looked like the hands of someone who painted or played an instrument. Not like the hands of someone on the run.

"Toushiro!" The voice from the person pulling him called. "Don't slow down, you know we can't."

He tried to make out the features of the person to whom that voice belonged. To whom the hand belonged. The voice sounded soprano, feminine. It sounded musical and strong, beautiful and peaceful. Yet when he looked at the face, he saw nothing but a blur. No size no colour, just a grey indistinguishable mass.

He needed to know what was going on. Why were they running? Who were they running from?

He turned around, knowing he shouldn't. Knowing that he should concentrate on running. On looking forward. But he did it anyway. He had to know.

He gave a sudden shout of fear as he turned around. The person behind them, no, the creature hunting them, was none other than the demon from the passageway.

"Captain! Captain!" Toushiro felt himself being shaken back and forth and he woke up with a start. The shaking stopped immediately and he looked up to see the face of his lieutenant staring at him in concern.

"Matsumoto, what are you doing?" He asked, feeling slightly irritable due to the strangeness of the dream.

"I was trying to wake you up. You were talking in your sleep." Rangiku looked down at him, worried.

He got up, feeling as if he hadn't slept at all. "Well?" He looked at her in question.

"What?" She looked back at him confused.

"Well what was I saying of course?" He snapped, still annoyed at the fact that she had had to wake him up.

She looked at him, worry written clear across her face. "You don't know?"

"Well if I knew I wouldn't be asking now, would I?" He glared at her.

"Um... well..." She stuttered, as if not wanting to repeat what he had said.

He switched on the bedside lamp. "Come on, spit it out." He said, trying to be a bit more friendly so that she might actually tell him.

"You were saying things like; 'Who are you?', 'Where am I?' and 'Go away.' and then you started shouting, as if something bad had happened." She looked slightly embarrassed.

He felt a slight blush creep across his cheeks and was glad for the scant light of the lamp.

"It was nothing really Matsumoto. You can go back to bed." He said, wanting to be alone with his thoughts, and also not wanting her to see that he was indeed slightly embarrassed at her having to wake him up.

"You sure that you're gonna be okay Captain?" Great, she looked worried again.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's probably just getting used to this Gigai of Urahara's." He said quickly, wanting her to go back to bed.

"Yeah. Probably..." She said, trailing off, the doubt clear in her eyes. "Good-night Captain." She walked towards the door of his bedroom, "But if you need anything I'm right next door, okay?" She turned around before leaving the room.

"Yes Matsumoto." He sighed, hoping that she would really leave him alone with his thoughts now. "Good-night."

She smiled at him encouragingly and then left the room. He flopped back down onto the bed and turned off the light, wondering what the strange dream was all about.

It was the first time that he had any dreams like this. He knew that he had no memories of the past. He only had memories from the point at which he had started to live with his grandma in the Rukongai, before that he had no memories at all.

And here they were, his first memories of his life before living in the Rukongai. It felt strange, strange that he still couldn't remember anything, strange that his memories felt locked away. He had always been envious of the other souls, all of them possessing memories, remembering their past lives and telling others about it. At least now he had clues, he thought as he smiled to himself in the dark. At least he now had clues to his past.

He had that voice, and he had the image and pressure of that hand. Suddenly he frowned, remembering the other part of his dream. That monster, somehow that creature held a clue to his past. He clue to what his identity was. He'd been on the run before, running from the creature which seemed to be the cause for their stranding in the World of the Living.

He turned on his side, beginning to meditate, wanting to find out more, wanting to know more. But it would be hours before he would fall asleep again and run through the forest anew.

A/N: I'd like to thank Sky Dragon155 and Moemoepl for their reviews as well as HappyFestus and splitheart1120 for their continued contribution. Thanks a lot guys, it's greatly appreciated! =)
This chapter is all about what goes on in some of the character's minds, what they're thinking about, what they're afraid of. More characters will feature in part two, but it would be too much if I put it all in one chapter. Anyway, Nightmares Part 2 will be out hopefully within the next day or so! =D