imaferrari: your last review made me realize, Ashley's character was really unstable, and then I thought to myself why is my writing starting to become a reflection of myself as a person...this isn't the place for this!
but hey, you're right I've sped up the process right, fast-forwarded a couple of weeks, about a month I think..as you requested, its a pretty short chapter but I hope you like it.
Criticism is ALWAYS welcome, Thank you!
xoxoxo
For the next three weeks Spencer didn't see Ashley. In classes, she'd held her head straight, participated, and left as soon as the bell let out, there was no one to divert her attention. She wasn't sure if the brunette was ignoring or just avoiding confrontation. At lunch she sat with Aiden, Arianna and Chelsea, occasionally looking across the court to see if Ashley would be at 'their' table…she never was.
As the days went by, Spencer gradually grew to accept Ashley's absence, just as much as she grew to accept the ever overwhelming presence of Lindsey. It had been a week since Spencer had met the raven haired, green eyed girl at a culture expo at school; and every day for that week she had noted that the girl made it her point of duty to be standing by Spencer's locker with a pack of Twizzlers waiting to offer it. Spencer didn't mind the gesture, she enjoyed the candy, and truth was she enjoyed Lindsey's company as well as the mental stability that came with it. It was after spending nearly every day together that Spencer felt a slight emotional attachment to the girl, in their time together they had spoken of dreams and desires, shared a few past secrets and ended up kissing during a heated game of twister at Lindsey's house. It was no secret that Lindsey had a crush on her, Spencer knew…she just never expected herself to reciprocate those feelings, the girl had asked Spencer out on a date to which she gladly accepted, the physical attraction was there from the on set so it was no surprise that after three weekend dates and endless hours of seeing and talking to each other at school that Spencer accepted Lindsey's offer to become her girlfriend. For Spencer, it wasn't just an exploration of her sexuality but the entire portal of her current life.
With Spencer's openness, news of the couple spread like wildfire. It wasn't long before Ashley heard, people thought it best to tell her because they eventually found out that she was Spencer's first, even though they were never official news of their moments seeped into the recesses of willing ears and sent word to the gossip core in their teenage wasteland. She shrugged it off when she first heard she didn't care to hear about Spencer with someone else.
"Hey Ash, what are you doing in here?"
"To be honest, I have no idea…but I have my History final and Mr. Purdy's threatening to kill me if I fail." Ashley sifted through the references on the shelf trying to find the book that she needed.
The blonde girl giggled, "Where there's smoke, there's fire."
"Shut up Sarah, I come here a lot, you just never see me that's all," she put up her playful smile.
"Sure Davies…as long as you're here you might as well keep me company." Pulling an entire article on the Fifth Amendment Ashley sat across from Sarah, she'd known her since the sixth grade and funny enough, Sarah just always happened to be there when everyone one else zoned out. The thought of Sarah being her unknowing silent constant made her smile at the girl appreciatively.
"What?" raising a curious brow.
"Nothing," Ashley shook her head not wanting to jinx her recent discovery.
After a few minutes of studying Ashley's face contorted into a discomforting frown, her thoughts began to fleet from the book before her, this studying was becoming too much for her. "I can't do this anymore…how do you do this Sarah?" slamming the book shut, her question genuinely sincere.
"Take your time to soak it all in Ash," reaching across to rub the brunette's arm comforting her. "Here's what, lets talk. I've been hearing…things, and I think its best to clear the air hearing it from the horse's mouth."
"Things?" Ashley's face expressed a thousand unwanted feelings
"Yea. About you and a certain blonde who's currently dating the school's lead dancer."
"Who…you?" Ashley's desperate attempt at avoiding the question.
"Pssh, yea right, you're cute..but no thank you. I'm talking about Spencer silly."
"I know," the frown evident on her face, she wasn't in the mood "Alright, so what do you want to know."
Sarah knew it was inappropriate but she was just so excited, she squealed in delight, earning an amused look from Ashley, the interest people took in her personal life baffled her as if they had nothing better to do.
"So how did you two get together?"
"We never were together."
"So then, why…?"
"She liked me, we kissed…end of story."
"Oh," she frowned a bit causing her forehead to crease. It was obvious that Sarah was confused
"Not what you expected to hear huh?" peering over at the blonde intently.
"Then why'd she make you cry?"
Ashley was stunned, how did? No…not even possible. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"That's not what Aiden said," Sarah sounding victorious in a singsong voice, Ashley's panic evoking a sly smile from her lips. I'm going to kill him, the brunette gritted under her teeth then closing her eyes and taking deep breathes as she tried to centre herself.
"Way to blab about my life Dennison."
"It wasn't like that really. We wanted to know where you were and he just said you've been having a hard time and crying a lot 'cause you fought with Spencer…so we figured…"
"You ever think you guys 'figure' about my life a little too much?"
"Nope," she said curtly "We're preparing you for future paparazzi."
Ashley shook her head, letting out an exasperating sigh. Deciding after a moment that she wouldn't let her current paparazzi get into her business,
"It's nothing I care to share. And I wasn't crying over her…that would be stupid, I haven't known her that long and we were never together, just a mutual attraction. End of story." Ashley seethed the last sentence, her attempt at hinting that she didn't want to talk about Spencer anymore.
Avoiding Spencer would be less impossible because Ashley turned to see the blonde and her new girlfriend walking into the library, pinkies intertwined and giggling as they fell over each other's feet. She felt like she was about to throw up, with good reason too…seeing Lindsey acting cute disgusted her, there was no way that corpse was capable of affection. They had history. Ashley's gaze drifted over to Spencer, she was beaming, her smile radiant as she listened to whatever was being whispered into her ear. She looked content, happy, good, Ashley looked away, thinking the only thing Spencer's encountered with her was an on again off again unstable need from someone who was obviously bipolar. I could never make her smile like that, Ashley's heart breaking a little at her own assumption.
Sarah looked across from her table and saw an unusual look in Ashley's eyes. It was a look that told of pain and discomfort, with her voice barely a whisper she spoke,
"Ashley, what's wrong?" there was not response "Ashley?" still nothing, the brunette was lost in a sea of thought. Sarah stretched forward and gently shook her arm, "Ashley."
She looked up then, her smile faint and her eyes tired, "Yea?"
"Are you ok?"
"Yea…I am… I will be."
"You just spaced on me a while ago you know."
"Sorry about that, I was just thinking."
"What about?"
"Nothing really, just…" she heard a burst of laughter and once again, her gaze slowly drifted over at Spencer to see the blonde with her head resting in the crook of Lindsey's neck dying of laughter. Her outburst followed by a loud "SHH!" from the other occupants of the library causing her face to flush. The last time Ashley had seen her cheek color so high was when she had come out of the bathroom half naked and Spencer couldn't bring herself to hold a steady gaze. A slight smile tugged at the brunette's lips as the memory played in her mind. The expression on Ashley's face didn't go unnoticed by Sarah, neither did the fact that it came just by looking over at Spencer.
"Nothing huh? Nothing's pretty cute when she blushes if you ask me."
Ashley's head snapped around to Sarah's voice, "What are you talking about?"
"Cut the act Ash, I just caught you staring at Spencer and now you're smiling. Are you sure there was nothing besides 'mutual attraction'?
"I'm sure. Look, we just shared one too many kisses and had one too many moments. There was a lot in those moments for her…and myself. I hurt her and I'm not proud of it, and I don't wanna talk about it."
"Wow, I never expected… I'm sorry Ashley," with that she went silent.
"It's ok, Spencer's happy and I'm fine with that." Even if she was slightly disturbed about it, Ashley would never show it, in the three weeks she had been absent from school, she had learned that she needed to deal with the consequences of her actions whether good or bad. She knew it wasn't possible to turn back time, and she wouldn't want to, but she could move forward and make things better. She had a long way to go, and wondered if Spencer would be willing to do the same, her gaze drifting once again over to where the blonde sat.
###
"Miss Davies, good to have you back and early at that…keep it up," an appreciative smile came after an accepting nod from the teacher.
"It's good to be back Mrs. B, I couldn't stay away from you for too long."
"I see your humor didn't forget its place either. Sit down Ashley, you have a lot of catching up to do, I'm sure Miss Carlin will be happy to help you."
She sat across and looked at Spencer, her smile hesitant, "Hey."
"Hi," she continued to flip through her book never once looking over at Ashley. The brunette shrugged it off and opened her book, moving to the back and started writing. Spencer let out a nerving sigh and closed her book; she looked over at Ashley to see a disappointed look on her face.
"I'm sorry."
"No, don't be. I deserve whatever it is you're dishing."
"No…it's just going to take some time for me to adjust to you being back."
"I can sit somewhere else; I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
"You're not, and you don't have to."
Ashley was still writing, "You're still doing that?"
"Yea, I've had a lot to say…it's the one thing that's remained constant for me."
Spencer smiled, "That's good." Thinking before she spoke, not wanting to be too forward, "Are you ever going to let me see what you've been writing, or better yet hear it?"
"Who says I can sing," finally looking over at the blonde her eyes smiling.
"I heard you're not too bad."
"From?"
"No one in particular," only then realizing she should've never let the conversation get to this,
"Spencer…who?"
"Lindsey," her gaze dropping to the floor.
"Oh,"
"Yea."
Silence hung in the air.
"So how is that going? The two of you?" never thinking in a million years that she would be questioning anything having to do with Lindsey Mason.
"It's going…good," she whispered, slightly uneasy.
"You seem happy."
"Yea…" Spencer hadn't looked at her since she said Lindsey's name. Lowering her hand and lifting Spencer's chin with her index finger, their gaze met,
"Its ok, you don't have to look away. I'm happy for you."
They held each other's eyes for a moment, Spencer's aquatic blues had so many questions, as Ashley held her face her skin burned and tears brimmed her lids, but they would never fall. Ashley let her hand fall, "I'm sorry Spence," clearing her throat, "We'll talk about this later?"
The blonde only nodded her fear if she spoke, that her voice would give away more than it should.
They went through an entire session. No words exchanged unless it was Spencer asking if Ashley understood at various intervals in the lesson.
"So I'll see you at lunch?"
"Uh, no…Lindsey and I…" she wasn't allowed to finish.
"Right, I forgot…I should've,"
"No it's ok. I could come over after school."
"Yea?" her voice hopeful.
"Sure."
"Ok, I'm leaving now anyway, I have an appointment."
"Are you ok?"
"Yea, so I'll see you later?"
"Yea, you will."
"Awesome," hesitantly pulling the blonde into an awkward hug, "I'll see you then," and she was gone.
There was something about Ashley that seemed different, she was more considerate, she still apologized way too much though, only difference with that was she didn't do I after she did something wrong. Spencer smiled, turning to see Lindsey moving towards her.
"You and Davies friends again?" annoyance undeniably in her voice.
"Lindsey, hey."
"You're avoiding the question Spencer. Are you and Ashley Davies friends again?"
"I—I don't know," the truth was, she didn't know. Ashley had just come back and before she left, there was never a stamped label as to what they were. Lindsey stepped forward, cupping the sides of Spencer's face bringing them closer together then tilting her head to give her better access, Lindsey kissed her. It was timed, slow and endearing. She stepped back, looking into confused blue eyes,
"I'll see you at lunch."