Here you go, things are moving along now.

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Chapter 11

Bella's POV

"Arggh! What am I doing?! I can't keep doing this! I'm with Edward, I have to stay away from Alice." I knew it was impossible though. I couldn't stay away from Alice, it took every ounce of strength I had just to leave her bedroom! I didn't know what I was doing. I loved Edward, but I loved Alice as well...at least I think I did. I didn't know what was going on. Everything was a mess. I was thankful I wasn't still human or I'd have a killer migraine right about now. I need fresh air, I needed to smell the grass. I jumped out the nearest window and hit the ground running. I didn't stop until I came to a tree. Pushing down lightly with my legs I leapt through the air and landed against the tree trunk, I scrambled upwards until I found a high enough branch. I could see the mist rolling in over the hills, not even reaching the top of the ancient trees. Birds were quietly flapping about, scouring the floor below for anything they could scoop up and fly away with. I even saw a few squirrels fighting over a nut, they were tumbling all over each other, it reminded me of squirrel scene in the old Disney film The Sword in the Stone. I laughed to myself as I remembered sick days in my childhood spent in bed, cuddling well worn teddy bears and eating over cooked chicken soup while that film was on. I could never go back to that now. Just another issue to add to my already over flowing list of issues.

I squinted my eyes, there was something in the distance. I sniffed the air and caught the scent before I flung myself towards the next the tree, then the next tree and the next, until I was practically on top of it. It hadn't moved at all. It had taken me less than ten seconds to reach it even though it had been almost a mile away. I let myself drop from my lofty perch and landed somewhat clumsily on the ground. I wiped the dirt and moss off my knees and stood to face my prey. Jane.

"I thought you left." I tensed my muscles, waiting for the attack that I was certain was about to come.

"I came back." Her words were barely more than a growl and her bright red eyes almost glowed in the gloomy woods. I could smell the anger and hatred emanating from her. It was almost as repulsive as her natural scent, a cross between heated rubber and raw meat. It turned my stomach. I don't know how it happened but we began to circle each other. We were both sizing each other up. I felt a tingle across my forehead, I rubbed at it, surprised at the sensation and wondering what caused it. When I noticed Jane's exasperated expression I realised that she was trying to hurt me! The fury rose up inside me; it filled my mouth and clouded my eyes. I clenched my hands into tight fists and bent my legs slightly. Jane snarled at me, baring her teeth as she leaned forward, spreading her body weight evenly. Something hit me right at that moment. No matter what I did, no matter Jane did, I was going to win. When I realised this I relaxed and stood straight with a slight smile creeping across my face. This infuriated Jane and she lunged at me. She moved at an incredible speed! Her entire body blended into a single blur as it hurtled towards me. She never reached me though. I blinked and when I opened my eyes she was stood perfect still. Confusion and terror were flitting across her face as her body remained motionless. I was doing it. I knew I was. This is what Gabe had been talking about. My smile grew wider. I circled Jane slowly, deciding what I should do. I couldn't help myself, I wanted to see how far I could go, a part of me wanted to push my limits. I just thought it and watched as Jane dropped to the floor. She was spread-eagled with her arms and legs pinned to the floor by my invisible force. I concentrated and watched in pleasure as one by one each of her fingers were bent backwards. The dry, cracking noise of the dead bone snapping was extremely satisfying and yet Jane made no sound. Her fingers were pressed against the back of her hands at odd angles and yet she didn't make a sound, not even a whimper. I made her snap her fingers back into place, they stuck out awkwardly and were shaking slightly as I made her slide her hand across her stomach and scratch deep gouges across the exposed skin. She hissed slightly and I felt something inside me come alive! I laughed quietly to myself, relishing in the power I had over this supposedly formidable and feared vampire.

"Get up."I whispered and she obeyed. She had no choice. Her body and mind belonged to me now.

"You're never going to hurt or threaten us again."

I walked towards her, practically gliding over the moss covered earth. I tilted my head to the side as I lowered my lips towards her throat. There was no pulsing, no blood flowing through her veins, and yet I could still smell it, I could still almost taste it on the tip of my tongue. My lips were touching her almost impenetrable skin, she didn't smell so bad any more. She kind of smelled like a barbeque. Venom poured into my mouth, I was losing control, and instinct was taking over. I slammed Jane into a tree, my body pressed against hers as I sank my teeth into her solid skin. I felt her blood pour into my mouth; I swallowed it greedily, wanting more and more! It was creamy and sweet with a slightly spicy taste. I couldn't get enough. I covered Jane's mouth with my hand and pressed my body harder against hers as she started to writhe in pain. The more of her blood I swallowed the hungrier I became. I couldn't think of anything else. All I wanted was her blood! I felt Jane's teeth sink into the flesh of my hand and I jumped back in fear and shock. What had I done?! That wasn't normal was it? Jane was gasping, clamping her hand to her ravaged neck, her eyes wide in terror. I regained my focus, instinct and fear taking over. With a rush of speed I didn't know I possessed I had slammed my fist into Jane's stomach...and it had gone through! My fist was stuck in the tree behind Jane with Jane's stomach and lifeless organs blanketing my arm. I could feel the icy cold blood trickling down my arm, between my clenched fingers and seeping under my razor sharp fingernails. I could feel her organs shifting to accommodate the presence of my arm. The smell was overpowering, making me almost lose control again. It filled the air and invaded my lungs. It was almost impossible not to sink my teeth into her again but somehow, in some miracle, I managed to prevent myself from doing what I wanted to do the most.

This really wasn't normal! What was happening to me?! Jane was starting to spasm! Blood was flowing thick and slow from her destroyed stomach. I tore my arm out of the tree and out of the unbelievable wound I had just created. I had to cover this up! I had to fix this! I had to...it was done. Before I had even finished my thoughts, Jane was nothing but a pile of bloody and lifeless limbs. Her bloodstained face was staring at me from the mossy ground, a pool of blood and venom forming underneath her. I kicked it away, I couldn't look at it! I couldn't believe what I had done! This wasn't me! I wasn't a killer! I panicked; I burned the pieces and ran as far as I could, scattering the ashes along the way. I found a small cave up the mountain and crawled into a corner! I couldn't hear all the thoughts that were buzzing about my head. I was shocked, scared, terrified, confused...lots of words to describe how I was feeling...but none of them were adequate. I couldn't believe what I had done...I couldn't believe how strong I was...I had punched through Jane's body! I had ripped her apart in a second! I had drunk her blood and wanted more! I scrubbed the dirt out of my clothes and pulled the leaves and twigs out of my wind swept hair and wiped the blood away from my mouth and hands. I had to keep this to myself, I had to find out why I didn't care about human blood but Jane's blood had been so...alluring to me. I knew that if any one had any answers it would be Carlisle. I had to talk to him somehow about all this. I wiped myself down again and made the speedy journey back to the house.

The house was busy, most of the Cullens were in the kitchen, sitting around and talking. I saw Alice sat on the work-top with Jasper standing between her legs, resting his head on her shoulder as he laughed at something Emmett had just said. I couldn't look at Alice like that, it hurt too much. I made my way through the house until I found Carlisle coming out of the bathroom. Small talk Bella, just make small talk and work your way up to it!

"Hey Carlisle," I tried to smile as innocently as I could at him.

"Bella, hello, how are you feeling?" He knitted his brow into a worried and curious expression, his golden eyes glittering slightly.

"I'm ok...I was just wondering about something actually." Here I go the point of no return! One small step for man, one giant step for Bella-kind.

"Wondering about what Bella?" Carlisle tilted his head and the creases across his forehead deepened.

"Well, about Gabe really," Carlisle nodded slightly and I took this as a sign to continue, "he can read peoples gifts from tasting their blood...so does that mean there are other vampires who...live off vampire blood?" Carlisle laughed, his face smoothing over into a smile.

"Oh Bella, I see what Edward was always talking about now. You're not worried about the Gabe or the Volturi, you just have a curious notion." He cleared his throat and regained his composure as I managed to slip into a slightly annoyed attitude. Edward had talked about me...I suppose it might have been cute, but not to me, I liked my privacy!

"Well the thing is, drinking Vampire blood is technically illegal."

"Illegal? What, like you get a fine for doing it?"

"No, more like you get execute immediately. Gabe is the only exception and even then he's always guarded when he does it." My memory flew back to seeing Gabe in the door way with Jane and those two other men...they were there to guard Gabe, not to protect him.

"Why is it illegal?" What the hell had I gotten myself into now?

"Well drinking human and animal blood keeps us strong, vampire blood makes us stronger. It's also highly addictive. I have no idea how Gabe has lasted this long without losing his mind!" Carlisle was still smiling sweetly at me, unaware of the riot that had just broken out inside my head.

"Addictive? Insane? What do you mean?"

"Well if a vampire drinks another vampires blood and continues to do so the excess venom starts to, how can I put this, destroy their brain. In one of the most extreme cases, which is actually one of the only cases I have come across, it caused the poor man to go insane, he turned into a strong, powerful psychopath who cared for nothing. If the stories are true this man would hunt other vampires even during the day. He destroyed entire villages in his frenzy and was almost impossible to stop. The blood and venom had made him go wild. He couldn't be reasoned with, when he wasn't feeding he was..." Carlisle tailed off and I had to beg him to continue.

"If he couldn't get vampire blood, then supposedly he would feed on entire villages at a time, not just feeding, these people would be turned. Imagine it, an entire village of newborns, men, women, children, the old, the young, the good, the evil, the sound of mind and the mentally infirm. The Volturi soon not only had an insane super-strength vampire on their hands but they also had an army of hundreds of newborns, spread all over Europe. It was disastrous. Thank heaven they had the Black Death to use as a cover!" He was smiling again but there was now sadness and regret in his eyes

"Why did you ask Bella?"

"I was just wondering, I didn't know vampires could drink vampire blood."

We exchanged a few more pleasantries, Carlisle made me promise to talk to him any time I had a question, he said he enjoyed talking to someone about the old days and the old ways. As soon as I was sure he was down the stairs I locked myself in the bathroom and turned the shower on. I jumped in and scrubbed my skin so hard I was surprised that I had any skin left on my bones when I was finished! The steam cleared the smell of Jane's blood out of my nostrils and the water washed away any of the blood or dirt that I might have missed. I still felt dirty and wrong. I felt...I felt like a murderer. I felt no better than that man Carlisle had talked about. Was I a murderer? Was I nothing more than a mindless, blood-hungry, killing machine? The thought shook me to the very core, if I had a soul left I was sure it was slowly dying.

Everything was getting to be too much! I had lost everyone I knew and loved, there was the thing with Alice and now this! I wanted to cry so badly! I wanted to scream and wail and hit things and swear and run around yelling at everyone! Instead, I wiped my face, got out of the shower and got dressed. It was nothing. I wasn't used to going out on my own yet. I was just hungry, that's why I fed on Jane. Plus she deserved what had happened to her! The way she hurt Edward, the way she tried to hurt me, she was evil, a mindless weapon of the Volturi and I was sure that the world was a better place now that she wasn't in it. I managed to convince myself that everything was ok, that the only thing I had to worry about was keeping my hormones under control around Alice...do vampires even have hormones...focus Bella!

There was a knock at the bathroom door, it made me jump, I hadn't heard anyone come near the door. I moved slowly, opening the door an inch at a time until I saw Alice's worried face on the other side. She didn't stay on the other side of the door for very long. She pushed her way into the bathroom and wrapped her hand around my head, slamming her lips against mine. I pulled her close to me, shutting the door when she was in the room and pushing her up against it. Her lips were travelling down my throat and my hands were under her top, feeling her cool skin sliding beneath my finger tips. Her teeth were grazing my throat, her tongue was gently sliding under my chin and then her lips were on mine again. So much passion, so much lust, she was like a drug, I couldn't get enough. We fell to the floor; our clothes were ripped off and thrown into a corner. Her hands were on my back and my hand was between her thighs. Her sighs and moans pushed my fingers deeper. Then I was on my back, she was on top of me with my hand still in between her soft legs, now her hand was making its way across my hips until I felt her fingers touch me in a way that made my entire body shake. It was over quickly, too quickly, neither of us could contain ourselves but thank god we managed to stay quiet. There was no cuddling, no kissing after we were done, we just got dressed without looking at each other. We reached for the door handle at the same time and our fingers touched. Electricity shot up from my fingers and went straight into my silent heart. It felt as though heat was surrounding us, we were looking at each other, both us looking at the others mouth, we knew what each other was thinking and we moved in closer, our lips almost touching, our eyes almost closed, our fingers interlocking. I could feel the cold breeze of her dead breath against my lips; I could feel her body shaking slightly just as mine was. Then there were voices outside the door. Rosalie and Edward!

"I don't know where she is Edward. Why don't you use your eyes?" Rosalie seemed to be her cheery self as usual. I jumped away from Alice as Rosalie opened the bathroom door and surprise plastered itself across her face.

"Edward, she's here," Rosalie barged her way past me and Alice and waited for us to leave the bathroom. Alice scurried away as I waited for Edward. I composed myself as best as I could and waited for Edward to come when all I wanted to do was run after Alice.