A:N: Why Hello, As always, am trying to keep this updated, and will hopefully be writing the final chapter to this story, as I rewatch sons from season one.

Chapter eleven

Easier to walk away

Kelly didn't go into too much details to why she was going, most of the club understood she needed to get on the road. Kelly felt maybe a part of her was like her mother, she needed to run free, not be tied down. She loved Charming, it was her home, but with all the shit that seemed to have piled on top, Kelly needed a break, she wanted to gain some perspective on what she wanted, and how everything she planned for moving back to Charming wasn't the same anymore.

She glanced to exit sign as she drove out, she was going to fly, but it found out her mother was closer than she thought.

When she called to inform her mother of her visit, her mother Lynda informed her that she moved to Phoenix Arizona and so she could drive, stop and drive. It gave her time to think, and most of all time to wonder what she was really doing with her life.

She had hit the road early, and while she knew she'd stop for the night, and then drive early and be to her mother before night fall.

Kelly liked the feel of the open road, even if she was in the cage of a car. She knew that it wasn't the same as riding down on her bike, but with her baby growing fast, she knew the risk of riding wasn't very good with her luck lately. She let the window down; felt the breeze blowing her long hair back.

Kelly knew she wasn't going to be getting the best welcome, but as she kept her focus on the road she thought over her time in Charming. Most of the thoughts always rooted back to Juice, how she felt of all the things she could of done to change his course, but it always ran back to her not being able to change anything. He did was he did out of fear of losing everything, and in doing so he caused the biggest problem of his own life.

The drive seemed to have gone fast, and while she pulled into a motel for the night a part of her felt some relief from the day's drive, her hand brushed her bump thinking of how long it would be until she was welcoming her baby girl into the world.

The drive seemed to have gone fast, and while she pulled into a motel for the night a part of her felt some relief from the day's drive, her hand brushed her bump thinking of how long it would be until she was welcoming her baby girl into the world. A big part of Kelly was wondering if this was the life she wanted to bring her daughter into, a life of violence and death, and Kelly feared that her daughter would be sucked into the same violent cycle.

Checking in was easy enough, Kelly would of called Juice, but opted to a simple text to let him know she was stopping for the night.

The good thing of the room was the air con was working, the only benefit of the small room that smelt of rot and fresh mold, her eyes staring up to the ceiling and thinking of how she was going to feel seeing her mother after so long.

It took a while for sleep to take her, but Kelly woke up feeling the sting of dry mouth, her hair matted to her face from the sweat of the night. Too bad the air con chose to die in the early hours of the morning.

Kelly quickly showered and cleaned herself up for another long drive, she knew in five hours she'd be having a lot to tell Lynda, and her mother wasn't an easy woman to talk to. She knew if she chose to go New York to see her friends a part of her wouldn't even go back to Charming. It pained her to feel so much need to run and maybe Tara had it right when she left the first time around.

While even if Kelly knew she couldn't run, her baby moving inside her made it hard for her to make any kind of rational choice, her eyes keeping focused on the road that would lead her to Lynda's house. The fear was getting harder to ignore, even if she wasn't sure what her mother would say it didn't change the fact Kelly knew she'd be disappointed.

While parting in an empty space on a neat driveway Kelly took a deep breath stepping to the front porch knocking, her face felt flushed as she could hear the sound of her mother's voice.

Lynda opened the door, in that second she froze studying over her only child. "Kelly," she sounded breathless, her eyes frozen to the size of her daughter's stomach. "I..."

Kelly never felt so exposed, her hands going to her stomach, but her eyes never left Lynda's face. "This isn't what you was expecting"

"Well you're not a crack head?" Lynda spoke quickly, she watched Kelly shake her head. "Well this isn't the worst thing." Lynda tried to keep calm, but it was hard to look at what was once her darling little girl.

Lynda stepped one side to let Kelly in, she spent too much time cleaning when she got the call of Kelly coming to see her. She was worried of so many things, but Kelly turning up pregnant wasn't one of them.

Sitting in the neat living room Kelly looked to photos, she could see her mother and a man she didn't even know, but her eyes only saw one photo of herself.

"Nice place." Kelly made a half attempt at clearing the air, "I didn't know you was seeing someone." Kelly felt her stomach starting to sink.

Lynda looked to the photos, they were not her thing, but she just shrugged. "I got married last month, it's more Bob's idea with," she waved her hands around all the pretty frames. "He's really nice."

Kelly tried to relax in the chair, her hands feeling more clammy. "What does Bob do?"

"He's a high school science teacher," Lynda couldn't even think, after meeting Bob she felt so much better, and then seeing Kelly made her remember so much she wanted to forget about her past. "You remember wanting to teacher?"

Kelly bit the inside of her lip, her hands now holding onto her shirt, "yea. When I was seven." Kelly went to stand up. "This was clearly a mistake!" Her eyes starting to well. "I should of just stayed away." Her advance to the door was stopped by Lynda quickly grabbing her arm.

"Kelly please!" Lynda's voice was shaken, her eyes going over her little girl's. "I need to be honest with you..." Her voice shook.

There was a silence in the air, while Kelly kept still looking to her mother. She didn't even know what to expect.

"Kelly, I wanted more from you." Her voice sounded defeated. "I fell pregnant with you, and as much as I loved your father we got married too soon." Her voice dropped as she let Kelly's arm go.

"Why are you telling me this?" Kelly felt her need to stand still, "I know I've always been a disappointment to you, my whole life you told me how I am making a huge mistake and I needed to sort my life out!" Kelly didn't like yelling, but she felt sick.

"Kelly you're a smart girl, you could of been anything, but you just don't get it!"

"Get what?" Kelly exhaled, she couldn't believe this, she tried to calm herself. "I am always so clueless to what I do that is so wrong."

Lynda sighed, "I pushed you to not be like me!" Her voice broke, "I lived with a mother who I turned into. I hated that Gemma was nothing like her, but I never wanted you to live our life. I wanted you to go do something!" Her eyes watering. Lynda was really seeing her daughter, even with the piercings and tattoos, she couldn't help but see how beautiful she was. "You could of been so much more."

Kelly blinked, she didn't even notice the tears, "I know grandma Rose wasn't the best, but you wasn't always like her." Kelly sat next to her mother taking her hand. "I just am not good at being. Well being focused." Her eyes moved to a photo frame with herself as a small girl. "After dad. After he died." Her voice trying hard to be calm. "I know you was scared."

Lynda nodded, "Kelly, I wasn't made to be a mother, and I kept you to keep him." Her eyes shifted away from Kelly, "I don't regret having you, and I don't want to lie and say you were everything I wanted." Her words were finally making sense to Kelly. "I just don't want you making my mistakes." Her eyes finally meeting her daughter's.

Kelly brushed a hand under her eyes, "then why did you keep me?" Her voice felt small, but she never broke eye contact with Lynda.

"Because when the doctor put you in my arms, I just felt I couldn't mess this up." Her face feel, "but I did mess it up." Lynda wasn't hiding her tears. "And Bob has been so good for me, he took me to see a doctor who's been helping me." Lynda was now taking Kelly's hand.

Kelly felt lost, her eyes going over her mother's and not sure what to do. "I am confused."

"Kelly, I've got a borderline personality disorder." Her voice calm, her hands taking Kelly's.

It was hard for Kelly to understand, she felt Lynda holding her hands, but felt more lost. "I don't know what to say." Her eyes trying to find something in her mother's, "I just wanted to see you, I know I wasn't the best daughter, but you wasn't running for mother of a lifetime." Kelly felt horrible with her words, but Lynda just smiled.

"No, but maybe you'll be better with your own baby." Lynda placed a hand to Kelly's stomach.

Kelly sat on a porch swing, she looked to the setting sun trying to wrap around the day with Lynda. The woman wasn't the same, maybe a new husband was a good idea. Kelly didn't know if she'd ever fully trust her mother, but for now she just wanted to be able to trust anyone.

Baby moving slightly, Kelly stroked her stomach trying her best to find a calm place.

"You mind if I join you?" A man who was in his late thirties stood in front of Kelly, Bob seemed like a sensible guy.

Kelly glanced to the swing, then back to Bob, "free country." She wasn't trying to be rude, but it was hard to be nice when she had little patience.

Bob simply smiled and sat beside Kelly, he wasn't surprised when he came home to see Lynda's only child, if she wasn't really a child but a young woman now. He knew of the stories that Lynda told him about her struggles with being a mother, but as his late wife left him with three children of his own he knew the burden of being a single parent.

"So what brought you to bridge the gap?" Bob didn't want to be annoying, but from what he was told about Kelly, she made him feel nervous.

Kelly shrugged, "Shit at home, I needed to get away." Her eyes focused on her hands before turning to Bob. "I'm not here to make trouble."

"I'm not assuming that either," Bob rocked the swing lightly, "Your mother was a very angry woman when I met here, I caught the side of her car and she threatened to kill me." He laughed as if the notion of a woman threating him was cute. "But when she calmed down, she seemed less angry and sadder." He exhaled, "I offered her coffee while we waiting for my insurance to get back to me, and then coffee turned to dinner. And as they say, the rest is history."

"Sounds like a fairy tale," Kelly stretched her legs out in front of her, "Did she mention me, or did you have to wait until she told you about the child that made her so mad." Kelly avoided looking over to Bob, she wasn't always the best in these kind of situations.

Bob shook his head, he glanced to look over the young woman beside him, and he could see Lynda in her, but something else too. "She never said you made her mad, she was angrier at herself." He went to touch her knee but stopped. "She felt horrible for letting you think she hated you."

"I don't think it was hate, more that when my dad passed away, we just stopped talking, and I drifted to my aunt who'd actually acknowledge my existence."

"Gemma," Bob spoke the name as if it was poison, and even Kelly could tell he wasn't a naturally angry person. "Sorry." Bob sighed, "It's just your family comes with a lot of baggage."

"I know that," Kelly shrugged, "But then it's just what I've lived with my whole life, she moved me from town to town, until I put my foot down and left." Kelly brushed some hair from her face, "She didn't like not having control, so we just stopped talking all together."

"It must be hard being here?" Bob asked as he tried to get a better view of Kelly, he wasn't sure what could be running through her mind, but then he wasn't sure what to say.

Kelly side glanced, "It's not as bad as I expected, but then I wasn't expecting my mom to be married." Her eyes looked over Bob, "Kinda young for my mom."

"Well I ain't that young," Bob laughed, he really didn't know what do, but the conversation was going well. "But I was eighteen when I had my first kid." He watched Kelly's reaction. "I have three sons." He added.

Kelly shrugged, "I have step brothers. Awesome."

"You don't have to see me as a father figure. I think you're too old for that." Bob could see Kelly looking off into the distance. "I'm just saying that…"

"I don't mean to be rude, but I have luck with father figures." Kelly felt her eyes go to Bob, "But you change her for the better, then I am grateful." Her hands brushed over her stomach. "So if I'm welcome to visit now and then…"

Bob smiled, "Kelly, you're more than welcome to visit." He held his arms open.

Kelly looked at the open invitation for a hug, and then let herself give him a hug. It wasn't like Kelly to hug strangers, but in the moment she was tired of putting up walls.