Disclaimer - I do not own DGM
Chapter Eleven - Somewhere I Belong
Darkness filled the room where Nicholas was lying in bed, his thoughts firmly focused on the young woman named Lyssa. The same shadows that filled the large space also seemed to fill his soul but for the first time the young Noah found himself wanting to change this fact, found himself wanting to find his way out of the darkness. Nicholas had given up on ever being anything other than a monster but the girl who haunted his dreams made him think, for perhaps the first time, that he really may be saved.
Or at least that he stood at least a small chance. He had given up hope of that long ago but for some reason that he couldn't explain, Lyssa had brought it back.
Stronger than it was before.
The young man hadn't left the Ark in over a week; choosing to stay close so that his surrogate family didn't become suspicious of his motives. He was already the least trusted member of the Clan of Noah, the inferior fourteenth member of a family that should by rights have had only thirteen. But Nicholas didn't want to draw more attention to himself than was absolutely necessary.
Because, for the first time, he had someone's well being to consider. Personally he didn't fear death, which was why he had taken such a large risk, but the thoughts of Lyssa ending up dead because of his actions served to increase the young Noah's caution.
Road had been grateful for the fact that Nicholas had been hanging around the Earl's manor. She hadn't been able to spend much time with her favorite sibling since he had began to spend so much time away and had taken full advantage of the fact that he couldn't leave.
And had nearly succeeded in driving him completely and utterly mad.
But the face of the young woman named Lyssa had sustained him and helped him to cope with the irritation. And, for perhaps the first time, Nicholas allowed himself to utter the truth out loud.
"I think I love her…"
Nicholas' gray eyes widened as he whispered these words, allowing himself to finally admit this fact to himself. The words sounded strange coming from the lips of a monster but served to cause the young Noah's pulse rate to quicken none the less.
Of course these words caused the inner voice of the Noah to scream out in protest. The voice had grown louder after Nicholas had formed the so called alliance with the Exorcists and was growing much more difficult to suppress.
And impossible to ignore.
Every time that Nicholas met with the group of Exorcists the inner Noah began screaming for their deaths. The beast within was calling out for their blood, to see the crimson liquid coating the hands of the Noah of Praise. But the thought of Lyssa lying lifeless in his arms was something that Nicholas couldn't cope with. It caused him a level of pain that he hadn't imagined possible. Not physical pain, which was something that he could deal with, but a far less tangible pain.
"Can she really do the impossible?" Nicholas mused to himself, his hands underneath his head as he gazed up at the ceiling. "Can she truly save me from the darkness within?"
As these thoughts ran through the young man's mind he felt something crash against the side of his head. Reaching up his fingers closed around a very familiar form.
"What is it Tim?"
He asked this question as though he actually expected to receive a reply. Of course Timcanpy wasn't capable of speech but he did manage to answer the question in his own way. Opening his mouth the little golem produced an image of a smiling Lyssa. It was almost as though the little creature could read the thoughts of his master and had manifested them.
A small smile appeared on Nicholas' face as he gazed at the image of the young woman. Despite having been thrust into the difficult life of an Exorcist, not to mention having to deal with Cross on a daily basis, Lyssa always seemed to have a smile on her face. This spoke of an inner strength that Nicholas found incredibly admirable.
One that not many people could rival.
Suddenly leaping to his feet Nicholas strode across the room and lit one of the gas lamps. Then, once his chambers were bathed in a subdued light, the young Noah turned his attention back to Timcanpy.
"I want to see her again Tim." A strange light was shining in Nicholas' eyes as he uttered these words. His voice was soft, as though afraid that someone might hear, but the emotion held within was undeniable.
He really and truly wanted to see Lyssa again.
"Tim…" In this moment Nicholas made up his mind. This was probably among one of the most reckless moves that he had ever made but in this moment the Noah found that he simply couldn't bring himself to care. Standing up straight the young man straightened the collar of the white shirt that he was wearing. "I need for you to deliver a message."
"I can't believe that I'm actually going to do this," Lyssa thought to herself as she pulled on a modest, pale blue dress. It was one of only three dresses that she owned, having opted to dress as a boy since becoming an Exorcist. Even as a child Lyssa had never really been one of those prissy girls and now only wore dresses when she was working the odd jobs that she was forced to take in order to pay off the debts that her master managed to rack up.
She was beyond irritated that she had to wear such clothes to this meeting but since she was planning to tell Master Cross that she was going to work it was a necessary evil. Something she had to do in order to make her ruse believable. "I swear I'm going to get even with him for this someday."
Lyssa had been surprised, to say the least, when the golem named Timcanpy had arrived at the inn where she was staying. It never ceased to amaze her that the little creature seemed to always be able to find them, no matter how far away they traveled. Her surprise had only grown when Timcanpy had displayed the message that he had came to deliver.
Nicholas wanted to see her… alone.
Part of her couldn't help but question whether this was a trap but another part of her was thrilled with the requested meeting. And she justified her lack of fear with the fact that the young Noah had already had several opportunities to cause her harm. He hadn't acted on any of these chances and this fact gave Lyssa hope.
"I know that there's a good person buried somewhere within him," she whispered to Timcanpy, gazing at the golem through large brown eyes. The expressive orbs were shining with unshed tears even though Lyssa wasn't really sad. Okay perhaps she was a little distressed over the fact that Nicholas didn't see himself as someone worth saving. "I know it."
For his part Timcanpy hovered in front of the girl, as though the golem were sizing her up.
"Well let's get this disaster over with," Lyssa muttered, her fingers absently going to the charm that she wore around her neck. She seemed to have the tendency to play with the little violin that represented her Innocence whenever she was nervous. Yet, even though she realized this, Lyssa was powerless to do anything about it.
Stepping out of the room Lyssa closed the door behind herself, sighing as she did so. Then the young woman turned to follow Timcanpy, who was supposed to lead her to the location where she and Nicholas were to meet. Unfortunately she had only taken a few steps before she heard, "Hey girl!"
Jumping slightly, due to the unexpected arrival of her master, Lyssa rolled her eyes skyward. She had hoped that she would be able to leave the inn without having to speak to Cross but it would appear that fate had conspired against her. Which didn't really surprise the girl although it did further her annoyance over the situation. Taking a deep breath and willing herself not to say the wrong thing, Lyssa turned to face the red haired Exorcist General. "Yes Master Cross?"
"Where are you going?" Cross demanded, his one visible eye focused on his apprentice. As though he were daring her to lie to him.
"Off to find a job," Lyssa said, rolling her eyes toward the sky. She wasn't generally one to lie but for some reason it came easily in this situation. And she was able to act appropriately irritated over this fabricated job search. "Because someone doesn't know how to pay their own bills."
Cross regarded the young woman for a few minutes before shrugging and abruptly walking away.
"This isn't getting off to a very good start," Lyssa muttered, her brown eyed gaze shifting around. She was searching for Timcanpy but there wasn't any sign of the little golem. "Oh this is just great… I've lost my guide. Now what am I supposed to do?"
Lyssa continued to mutter under her breath as she walked away from the inn. She had informed Master Cross that she was going off to find a job so she had to go somewhere, lest he grow suspicious. That would not serve to make her situation better. But without Timcanpy she had no way to find Nicholas, which she had to admit was somewhat frustrating.
Blowing out an irritated breath Lyssa absently swiped at a strand of hair that had fallen in front of her face. "Never fails… if something can go wrong then it will. If it weren't for bad luck then I'd have no luck at all."
These thoughts were interrupted when Lyssa felt something underneath her long hair. Screeching, the young woman grabbed the offending object and gave it a fierce toss. She caught a glimmer of gold as the object went sailing and groaned as she realized what it was that she'd just thrown.
Timcanpy.
"Oh my gosh I'm so sorry Tim!" Lyssa rushed over to the somewhat dazed golem and gently picked him up. The little creature lay in her hands for a moment before giving himself a shake and then taking back to the sky. "I didn't even notice you ducking under my hair… I apologize."
Timcanpy nodded and then began flying, making it obvious that Lyssa was supposed to follow along behind him. Glancing around to make absolutely certain that no one was watching her, Lyssa fell into step behind the golem.
As she followed along behind the golden golem Lyssa didn't pay attention to her surroundings or to how much time passed. Her jumbled thoughts were focused squarely on the young man that she was traveling to meet. There had been something different about his eyes in the message that he had sent via Timcanpy and Lyssa couldn't help but wonder if something had changed.
And, if it had, was that change for the better or for the worse?
Having been occupied by her thoughts Lyssa was somewhat surprised when she arrived in a clearing in the forest through which she and Timcanpy had been traveling. Her brown eyes surveyed the terrain and soon came to rest on the visage of the Noah of Praise.
Nicholas had been awaiting the arrival of the young woman for nearly an hour and his breath caught in his throat as his eyes fell upon her. Instead of the Exorcist's uniform that she normally wore Lyssa was dressed in a pale blue dress. It was a modest affair that Lord Millennium would frown upon as too plain but Nicholas couldn't help but think that Lyssa was the loveliest thing that he had ever seen.
Stepping forward Nicholas held out his hand to the young woman. Wanting to see if she would trust him. "Welcome," he whispered, his gaze never leaving her face.
Slightly overwhelmed by this out of character behavior Lyssa placed her hand in the one that Nicholas was holding out to her.
Leaning forward Nicholas placed a brief kiss on the back of Lyssa's hand before offering her a genuine smile. The first that had graced his lips in a long time. "I was actually afraid that you wouldn't come."
The smile that spread across the Noah's face, coupled together with the kiss to the back of her hand, served to further unnerve Lyssa. She gazed up at Nicholas with a questioning gaze in her brown eyes. "Are you alright?"
With a laugh that was completely without humor Nicholas stepped away from the Exorcist. The inner Noah was screaming for him to destroy the girl's Innocence and Nicholas needed a moment to get a grip on that urge. "I'm about as far from alright as it is possible to be… and the fact that I'm here with you just proves that fact."
"Nicholas…"
Finally succeeding in forcing the voice that haunted him to the back of his mind Nicholas once again gazed at Lyssa. "Do you really think that I can be saved? That there is hope for even a soul such as mine? Surrounded by darkness and stained by blood."
"I do," Lyssa said without hesitation, her voice kind as she took in the tormented expression in the Noah's stormy eyes. "No one is beyond salvation."
Nicholas had known that she would say that and yet the words still managed to bring him a measure of comfort. He had needed to hear someone tell him that he was worthy; that it wasn't asking too much that he wanted to be saved.
And that he wanted this girl, this pure and gentle soul, to be the one who saved him.
"I'm still not certain if I believe your words," Nicholas said, choosing his words carefully. The emotions that were churning inside of him almost defied description but he wanted Lyssa to at least realize that he was sincere with his words. "But… but even if it's possible I know for a fact that I can't fight the darkness on my own." Taking a deep breath Nicholas prepared to do something that he had never done in his life. He was going to ask someone for help. "Please… please help me find somewhere I belong."
These words stole Lyssa's breath away and, without so much as thinking about any possible consequences, she closed the gap between them and wrapped her arms around the young man. Nicholas tensed for the briefest of moments, not having expected the embrace, but then he reveled at the feel of Lyssa in his arms. Even as the voice rose up to scream for her brutal death Nicholas found that he was able to ignore it. The voice didn't matter so long as he was able to hold this woman close. The fact that she felt he was worthy of salvation gave him hope for his future for the first time since he joined the Clan of Noah.
"No one…" Lyssa raised her head and locked gazes with Nicholas as she spoke, her voice forceful. "No one is beyond salvation. And I'll do everything in my power to prove that to you."
"Thank you," Nicholas said in a quiet voice, never having meant these words more in his life. He wasn't even certain if it were possible, and knew without a doubt that it would be difficult, but in this moment Nicholas desperately wanted to change. He wanted to find his way back into the light that he had left so long ago, so that he could stand beside this angel with chestnut hair and kind eyes.
Neither Lyssa nor Nicholas noticed the little golden creature that was hovering behind them and Timcanpy did nothing to draw attention to himself. He merely hovered in mid-air, observing all that went on between his master and the Exorcist.
A/N - Here's the chapter everyone's been waiting for… FLUFF! I sincerely hope that you enjoyed this chapter and ask that you leave a review as you go. Please? 'puppy-dog eyes'