Gwador

"What happened to your elleth, brother?" Orophin said as he watched Haldir approach their post.

"Hello to you, too." he said gruffly, dropping his satchel and taking up his weapons, "I delivered her to the Lady Galadriel, just as I said I would."

"Erynion said the two of you had seemed rather cozy at the Nimrodel. So we weren't expecting you back to soon."Rúmil chirped, leaning casually against a tree.

Haldir looked sternly at the two of them, but did not speak, busying himself with the straps of his quiver.

Orophin looked carefully at his elder brother, then turned to Rúmil, "Shut up, you goblin."

Rúmil shrank, not as bold against his eldest brother without Orophin's support, and turned his attention back to his watch.

Haldir shook his head, stifling a pained sigh and began walking towards the edge of the forest.

Orophin let him get a few strides away before deciding to pursue him. He had long ago learned to gauge his brother's mood based on how heavy his steps were and how quickly he moved away from company. And he could tell that Haldir was not annoyed, but melancholy, and a melancholy Haldir was a dangerous and impulsive Haldir.

This would not do.

"Haldir!" Orophin called as he caught up to his despondent brother. He heard Haldir exhale through his teeth as he slowed, allowing the younger elf to catch up. When he did, Orophin grasped his brother firmly by the arm and continued walking away from the post.

Once the two were far from curious ears, he turned his brother to face him. Haldir did not meet his brother's eyes.

"What happened, brother?" Orophin asked quietly, but severely.

Haldir was silent for several moments, his face a mask. Finally, he dropped his head and fell heavily against a tree.

"I am a fool, 'phin." He whispered sadly.

"You are impossibly hard on yourself and act like an idiot sometimes, but you are no fool. What happened that has made you so forlorn?"

"I… Aímne… it…" he trailed off, the pain in his chest too much to continue.

Orophin frowned and placed a hand on his brother's shoulder, unsure yet if he wanted to embrace Haldir or hit him.

Orophin loved his brothers. And although he was the middle child, he felt overwhelmingly protective of both his siblings. Rúmil was young and stupid, often needing guidance and reprimand, but Haldir… he was the sensitive one. Hiding behind his carefully constructed walls while holding himself to impossibly high standards. To most he appeared reserved and diligent, but both Orophin and Rúmil knew him well enough to see the truth.

Yes, life had never been easy for his brother. He was considered strange and aloof by many, those who did not know him or who never bothered to try assumed his life to be a sad one, and seemed to dismiss him just as soon as lay eyes upon him. Believing his position within the wardens was one of charity and kindness on the part of the council, but Orophin knew well that there was not one marchwarden in Lothlórien who would not follow Haldir into the very heart of darkness.

Orophin remembered well his brother's return from Gondor. And it took many years for him to finally get Haldir to tell him what it was that had happened in Rohan. That his brother had been so taken with a mortal woman was confusing to himself and Rúmil, but they did not judge him. For so long Haldir had been alone, and hearing his reasons for leaving this female made his suffering all the more unbearable.

For centuries following, Haldir was focused and determined in his work. He would not be swayed, could not be tempted. He ventured home only when his duties as a warden demanded it of him, and only rarely at the desperate behest of his brothers.

Little had changed since then.

Orophin had not thought much about the dark elleth he had seen his brother escorting, and Haldir had been all business regarding the situation. It was the following morning when Orophin first heard tell of that night at the Nimrodel, how Haldir and this strange female laughed and carried on together. How she smiled at him, touching and teasing him. How he had looked at her, how he had flown to her defense in a cold fury.

At first, Orophin could scarcely believe it. He had seen this elleth and she was frightening. Wild, piercing eyes, the skin of her face marred and dark, hair like orc blood. But if there was ever an elf who could see past that, it would be his dear brother.

And now, seeing how Haldir returned from Caras Galadhon, looking as pained and sorrowful as he had after Gondor, Orophin could not sit idly by.

"What about Aímne, Haldir? This cannot be about her." Orophin said.

Haldir looked miserable, and he slid down the tree, slumping to the ground. Orophin crouched beside him, awaiting an answer.

"I cannot do it again." He said, "I cannot bear it."

"Haldir, you cannot compare them. Aímne was mortal, she was always going to pass on. You did what you felt was best. This… Kalî… is elfkind. She is immortal. If you feel regard for her, as I suspect she does for you, I do not understand your resistance!"

Orophin was frustrated. He was never very good at dealing with Haldir's bouts of melancholy. It was times like these he wished their mother had not sailed west when she did. If she had only known what her eldest would go through…

"Do you know who she is? She is Amroth's child, 'phin. I am nothing. There is no hope for me. I will be fine, I just need time." Haldir said, resigned.

Orophin knew well this next part, Haldir would shut himself away for months, brooding and torturing himself.

"No. You will not do this again. If you do not want her, then that is fine. You know as well as I that her status and yours mean nothing, not even to Celeborn. I heard about the other night, brother… she favors you. Everyone saw it! You will fall apart trying to pretend that that did not matter! I cannot bear to see you put yourself through the same torment you did after Aímne, and for no reason!" Orophin hissed, dropping a knee to look his brother in the eye.

"It does not matter. She despises me. I treated her quite poorly and left her alone in the city. Any favor she may have held is gone now." Haldir said sadly.

Orophin clenched his teeth.

"Why, brother? Why do you do this to yourself? Why will you not speak with Galadriel? How many times must I beg you?"

"Galadriel is her aunt! She will not hear from me now."

Haldir looked at the ground, it was hard to see his face but Orophin knew it was sullen.

They sat silently for a moment, Orophin scrabbling for words of wisdom, Haldir building momentum to slap on his mask and fall back into work. Much to Orophin's dismay, Haldir beat him to it.

The elder brother pushed himself to his feet. Looking down now at his brother with the stony visage the younger knew painfully well.

"It is over, brother. Do not think on it. No harm in a passing fancy. I wish her well and I have work to do. Return to your post, 'phin." He said coldly, stepping past the still kneeling elf and resuming his trek for the tree line.

Orophin watched him go, shaking his head. Haldir had cared deeply for Aímne, maybe even loved her, but his decision to leave her was ultimately a kindness. Whatever this was with Kalî, it was most definitely not over.

Orophin had tried for years to convince Haldir to seek counsel with Galadriel. Convinced that her wisdom and insight could help Haldir better manage the demons that plagued his thoughts and the ease burdens he carried in his heart. Haldir always found a way to ignore, refuse, or put off Orophin's pleadings, but enough was enough. There was only so much pain a person could stand, immortal or not. And he would not sit and watch his brother diminish.

Haldir disappeared into the trees, and Orophin returned to his post. Neither aware of the presence that had hung in the trees above them, listening to every word.

It was several days later when Orophin approached Rúmil with a rather serious errand. Haldir had been gruff and abrasive since his return from Calas Galadhon and Orophin was at his wits end.

"Rúmil. Your tour ends tomorrow. I want you to return to the city and deliver a message to the Lady Galadriel."

"Alright. What is the message?" Rúmil asked warily.

"I want to request that she summon Haldir to the city, tell her that he needs her counsel but is refusing to appeal for aid."

"Is this about-"

"Just do it. Do not ask questions."

Orophin sighed. He looked tired, likely from running interference between Haldir and curious wardens who sought to ask after Kalî.

Rúmil nodded, the urge to tell his brother about his eavesdropping on the tip of his tongue.

"Do not tell Haldir." Orophin warned.

The young elf nodded again, refraining. He'd spent his life mastering his stealth, having two older brothers giving him plenty of cause and opportunity to practice. And since neither of them ever told him anything, he had become accustomed to using his skills to spy on them.

He watched with a sad resolve as Orophin walked away. He rarely got a chance to do something taxing, and never like this. Haldir was dark and moody, but Rúmil worshipped him. If he could somehow help Haldir find peace, Rúmil would consider it a worthy and noble deed.

He hastened back to camp, and set about preparing for his mission to Calas Galadhon.

Elvish Translation:

Gwador ... brothers