The Antics of the Avengers

*Sighs in sadness* As much as I want to... I don't own the Avengers! *cries*

Notes: So Stony shippers, I hoped you enjoyed last chapter. This chapter continues off from last chapter. Also... *drumrolls* a certain Merc with a mouth shows up with a certain spider boy we all love.

Warnings: Pretty much the same warnings from previous chapters.

Chapter 11 - Superfamily News

The team had eventually returned from their 'capture the mystery creature' mission after two additional days. Their captive, Kieyana the fox goddess of fun and love, was currently tied up with some metallic rope with Thor leading her into the building. She groaned in displeasure. "I don't see why you have to do this. I did you all a favor by getting those two together!", she protested, swishing one of her nine tails in Tony and Steve's direction. The two had gotten together during the mission, finally resolving their fawning over each other.

At the moment, they were standing close, Tony with his hand on the small of Steve's back. "And I thank you for that, you fox minx. Though I would have landed my sweetheart myself."

"Yeah right, Stark.", Clint scoffed.

Tony glared at him. "Don't think you should be talking, little hawky."

"Only Pietro can call me that!"

Everyone stopped in their tracks to stare at the archer. Clint blushed, coughing in his fist to hide his embarrassment. "Um... I mean..."

Pietro sped to his side, taking the older by the waist and kissing his cheek. "I knew you liked the name."

Clint just blushed.

The others chuckled before continuing inside the building. Nick Fury was standing by the meeting room entrance when they noticed him. "Hey, I see you all are back."

"Yup! And we brought the trouble maker.", Tony smirked, pushing Kieyana forward. She growled at him, who in return growled back. Thor stepped in between them. "Cease this banter now. Brother Tony, there mustn't be any quarrel with the goddess."

Tony crossed his arms as Kieyana grinned. "Hm."

She received the finger. Steve gasped. "Tony! Kieyana may be a trouble maker, but she is still a lady!"

"She is no lady, Steve. For Pete's sake, she possessed a male body!"

Fury eyed the team at that statement. "What? Who?"

"Rene. She took over Rene's body.", Natasha said. When Fury looked her way Kieyana shrugged. "It had to be done."

Rene scoffed. "It wasn't necessary though. I still feel so violated." He shivered, emphasizing his discomfort. Pietro laughed. Wanda resisted the laugh, seeing how Rene's hazel eyes were burning with hatred.

After an hour of the debriefing of their mission, the dysfunctional group of heroic lunatics had returned to their Tower. Tony immediately ran to the nearest electronic device, which was a StarkPad that was laying on the sofa, and kissed it. "How I missed you!"

Steve chuckled at his new boyfriend. "Tony, we weren't gone for that long."

"Yeah, well, I still love my technology."

"More than Steve, Tony?", Rhodey asked. Tony shook his head. He got up from the couch and walked over to Steve. He placed his arms around the blonde and kissed him. "Nah. I don't think I'll love anything more than Steve."

"Finally!"

The group turned to see Pepper standing at the entrance, a relieved expression on her face. She sighed, trotting over to the new couple of kissing them both on the cheek. "You finally hooked up! I think we were all about to die from the suffocation of your sexual tension."

"It wasn't sexual! It was... mere affection.", Steve protested timidly. Pepper patted his shoulder. "You're too adorable. I can see why Tony fell in love with you." The blonde shifted on his feet, trying not to blush. It was kind of impossible. The brunet grabbed onto his hand. "Pepper, stop harrassing my future baby mama."

At that Bruce had immediately begun to laugh. After a few minutes, everyone else joined. Clint was practically drilling body sized markings on the floor. Natasha was in a corner, trying to breathe, but it was hard to do with the laughter in her system.

Steve blinked, confused at what just progress. The only person who shared his puzzlement was Thor. Even Vision was laughing! "I don't understand the enjoyment of the sudden laughter.", the thunder god voiced.

Rhodey exhaled sharply, calming himself down. "Okay. There is two things Tony said that was wrong."

Said Stark crossed his arms, glaring at his best friend. "What would those things be?"

"One, Steve is a man."

"That I am.", Steve agreed.

Tony grinned. He reached out and made grabby hands to Steve's chest. "These tell me otherwise."

Steve blushed, stepping back from his pervy boyfriend. "Tony!"

"Two, you already have Peter. So how can he be your future 'baby mama' when he already is?", Rhodey continued. Thor was still confused. "What is this 'baby mama'?"

"Oh, forgot. Not of Earth.", Clint reminded. "Thor, a 'baby mama' is someone who is the biological mother of your baby when you're not married. Well, you can still be married."

"It's someone who is your baby's mother. A 'baby daddy' is the father of the baby.", Natasha added. Tears were running down her eyes. She looked over to see Steve trying to pry himself from Tony's arms. The brunet was kissing his neck, nimbling on it now and then.

Pepper was recording it. "This is going on my blog."

"No, it's not, Miss Virginia Pepper Potts.", Steve growled in his Cap voice. Pepper stared at him wide-eyed. She slowly put her phone away. Wanda copied her.

"Sorry."

"You better. And why does Peter keeps coming up in a conversation?"

Everyone shared looks before looking back at their leader. Tony sighed. "Well, Stevie, I figured it out, and I know you haven't. Apparently, the team believes that Peter is our love child."

Steve blinked. He looked at the others and blinked again. "Uh... how?"

Tony shrugged. "Well, that's a question for them."

Bucky crossed his arms.

"No. It is not, Stark. Besides, Peter would agree. He sees you two as his parents anyways. And as I see it, you two should tell him about your hook-up."

"Tell who about what hook-up?"

Everyone jumped back in shock. They looked up and saw that the subject of their conversation hanging upside from the ceiling with his web. Peter smiled his genuine smile at them. "Hey, guys!"

"PETER!"

Steve ran up to the teen and grabbed him. The web slinger was forced into a welcoming hug by a now over-emotional blonde. Peter hugged back. "It's good to see you, too, Steve."

"I missed you, Peter!"

"We all did.", Sam added as Bucky wrapped an arm around his waist.

"I know. I missed you all, too."

"Welcome back, Peter!", Tony greeted, messing up Peter's chocolate locks. Peter groaned from it. "Tony, don't do that!"

"It's affection, boy! Accept it!"

"Peter, how long you've been in the Tower?", Wanda asked. Peter sat down on the couch. Tony and Steve sat next to him on each side. "Well, a little over twenty minutes. Friday let me in. She mentioned how Tony allows it. I was in my room for most of the time, adding some things in. I legit just came in here when I heard about a hook-up. Care to fill me in?"

The new couple exchanged glances. They then glimpsed at the young hero with matching stares of hope. "Well, Peter... Tony and I have something to tell you.", Steve started. Tony nodded. "Yes. Even though someone isn't patient enough to allow us to. He's just upset because a certain ex-playboy snagged his younger virgin brother."

Bucky glared at Tony for that statement. He drew a metal finger across his neck. "Soon, Stark. Soon."

"Uh huh, yeah. Anyways, Petey. Steve and I have decided on something. It took a while for us to finally realize what we were both missing due to the meddling of a certain boy band and a fox goddess."

"And what's that?", Peter questioned. He watched as Steve got up from his right side and walked over to Tony's side. The brunet genius grabbed the other's hand and kissed it lovingly. "Steve and I are dating now."

Silence.

"..."

Peter stared at the two with astonishment. Slowly, his lips formed into a bright grin. "YOU TWO ARE DATING!", he shouted, glomping the couple. Friday was recording everything. Peter hugged the two around the neck, keeping in mind to be careful with his strength. "Oh my god! I'm so happy for you two! You know how long I hoped for this?!"

"Long time apparently.", Bruce teased. Steve shot him a look. "Quiet, mister. So, Peter, you're okay with this?"

"Of course I am! Captain America and Iron Man dating?! My idols?! My heroes?! This is too awesome for words!"

"I'm glad to see you so joyous about this, Peter.", Tony grinned. He lifted the younger brunet and placed him on the sofa. "Anyways, what brought you over to the Tower?"

Peter blushed a little. "Well, you're not the only one with good news."

He exhaled softly and then looked up at everyone. "Fury not only appointed me as an Avenger, but... guess who is now a proud new parent?"

Tony's breath sucked in at the question. "No way. May accepted?!"

Peter nodded happily. "Yes! She got the papers the day I came home. She thought it would be awesome to be part of the Avenger family."

"And it is! So, you're like Tony's son now?", Pepper asked. "Because even though I just legit somewhat met the kid I can tell he could be your kid. He's adorable!" Natasha nodded, agreeing with the other woman. "Yeah. Well, Tony and Steve's son."

"Yay!", Steve cheered, hugging Peter once again. He was already being that kind of parent. The young brunet struggled out his grip. Bucky tapped Steve's shoulder. "Uh... Peter may want to breathe."

"Oh."

The blonde soldier released the teen. Once he was collected, Peter spoke again. "And there's something other good news."

"What else could there be good news?", Tony joked. Peter blushed. "Well... I have a boyfriend."

Silence... again.

"... boyfriend?", Sam questioned. Peter nodded. He glanced over to Tony and Steve. He noticed they had that look in their eyes. "Oh god... Tony, Steve, let me explain before you go all protective on me."

Steve crossed his arms. "He better be treating you right.", he sternly responded. Peter chuckled nervously. "He is. He's a good person at heart, funny, and sweet. He cares for me a lot."

"He better! Now who is he?"

"Well, he's-"

"Babe, I think I damaged the microwave trying to heat up chimichungas. It's way too advanced."

The group spotted a red 'n' black clad figure walking into the room, scratching the back of his head while holding a pack of chimichungas. He stopped in his tracks when he saw them. "Uh..."

"DEADPOOL?!"

"Shit!"

A few minutes later, the den was practically destroyed. The group watched as Natasha, Steve and Tony continuously attack Deadpool, who was dodging them gracefully and shooting at them. Peter was desperately pleading for them to stop. "Please! Come on! Don't- TONY! DO NOT SHOOT THAT ROCKET IN HERE!"

The others found it quite entertaining.

"Five bucks if Nat shoots Wilson in the head.", Clint betted.

At that Peter glared at him. "No! No betting!" He then turned around and shot webs at the four fighting. Steve and Tony were stuck to the wall, Natasha was tied up, attached to the shot up sofa and Wade was stuck to the floor. Peter jump on the coffee table, which surprisingly wasn't damaged. "Listen! Each of you are being ridiculous! Can I please explain something before you all kill each other?!"

"He can't die! He has a healing factor!", Tony harshly reminded. Deadpool chuckled. "Right. But I can die. It's just very hard for me to."

"Shut up!", the spider themed hero ordered. He glared at the three Avengers. "Mind telling me why you just attacked him?"

"He stole one of my jets!", Tony exclaimed. (1)

"He brutally fought me, tied me up, threatened to shoot me in the head, hit me with my own shield and kidnapped three innocent kids!", Steve added in. (2)

Deadpool huffed. "One, you punched me first! Two, I had to tied you and the other Steve Rogers up! Three, I was going to shoot the other fucking guy! Four, I didn't know I had fucking good aim! And five, I only kidnapped one of those damn kids! The Evil Me kidnapped the other two! And you were there to witness that! Jerk!"

"I hate you!"

"Aunt Nat, why are you trying to kill him?", Peter asked.

Natasha shrugged. "I just don't like him."

"You're just sore that we use to date.", Deadpool teased. (3)

The redhead glared at him. If Deadpool didn't have a healing factor that was awesome and looks could kill he would be dead.

Peter sighed. "Guys, can we just be civil about this?"

"Peter, please tell me you're not dating him.", Tony sighed. Peter looked at the mercenary and back at his adopted father. "I am. Wade and I are dating. For about five months now, going on six next week."

"Almost half a year. I'm amazed.", Bucky whistled.

Peter walked over to Steve and Tony, ripping off the web from them. The couple landed on their feet. "Peter, do you really like him?", Steve asked just as the teen helped his proclaimed aunt out before going to his boyfriend.

Once the older red clad male was free, he grabbed the younger by the waist and swung him around. In response, Peter nuzzled him. "I do. I love him actually."

"And I love you, too, baby boy."

Peter kissed the older's masked nose before sliding his fingers under the mask. He pushed it up until Wade's mouth was uncovered before kissing him. Wanda, Pepper and even Bruce cooed at the couple. It was undeniably cute.

"Believe or not, Petey here was the only and first one I ever came across that didn't try to kill me, judge me, or throw me away. He was willing to be my friend. He even bust me out of jail!" (4)

"That was you?", Steve questioned.

"The point is, I just saw that Wade needed somebody. Sure we had out bit of sore moments, but that was before we fell in love. And though he denies it, he's my hero.", Peter admitted. Bruce wiped away a tear while Sam turned to cry in his boyfriend's shoulder. "It's just adorable! Steve! Tony! You have to let Peter date him!", Clint protested. Really, the archer was cool with Deadpool.

The mentioned hero couple exchanged glances before looking back at Peter's puppy dog eyes. The blonde smiled. He could see that the two were really in love. Just like him and Tony. "Alright, Peter. We're fine with you dating him."

"Yay!"

Peter hugged his boyfriend, nuzzling in his chest. Deadpool kissed the top of his head. "Ah, thanks, Cap. Aren't you sweet?"

"He is. Trust me.", Tony teased, making his sweetheart blushed. "Tony! Can you not say that?"

"I only tasted you through your mouth, baby. Now if we can go to the bedroom and-"

"Tony!"

"Uh yeah. Tony, can you not speak about Steve like that?", Bruce asked. Thor nodded. "Yes. Your language is as vulgar as Loki's when he's not himself."

"Great! Another thing we share! Speaking of the little green bastard, where is he?"

"Asgard, visiting our friends and parents. And refrain from insulting my brother."

"Wait, Loki's your brother?", Deadpool asked.

"Well, adopted.", Thor answered.

Deadpool shrugged. "Hm. Cool. Anyways, Petey-baby, let's head to the room and cuddle."

Peter smiled at that and began to lead his older boyfriend out the room. As the two left, Tony called after them, "And that's all you better be doing! I mean it!"

"Wow, Tony. It's only been over an hour when you found out that Peter is now your adopted son and already you're being a protective father.", Sam teased. Tony crossed his arms. "Yeah, yeah. I already been like that when I first met the kid personally. I saw myself in him."

Silence.

"And yes, I saw a little of Steve in him, too. The kid has innocence written all over him just like my baby here.", Tony added, kissing Steve's cheek. Rhodey smirked. "You know what else they have in common?"

"What?", the others asked.

"They're dating perverts."

"Hey! I heard that!", Deadpool's voice answered. It was followed by a giggle. "Don't laugh at that, baby boy!"

"Sorry, Wade. But Uncle Rhodes got a point."

"You're lucky I love you."

"I bet I am."

"Are you two in the vents?", Clint asked, walking up to one of them. The vent opened, revealing the couple. "Yeah. Wade wanted to see what was so awesome about you going into vents.", Peter admitted. "And boy is it really cool up here!", the Merc with the Mouth grinned. "We should make this our honeymoon spot, babe."

"NO! THAT'S CLAIMED BY US!", Pietro protested.

They watched as quicksilver rushed up the wall and climb into the vents after the two. Everyone blinked, standing there in silence at what happen. Tony exhaled, grabbing Steve's hand. "Come on. Let's go make sure our son's not killed by a crazy fast psycho."

And the Superfamily has been formed! With Spideypool!

Don't worry, there's more of those two in the future.

(1) Another reference to the 'Ultimate Spider-Man' cartoon! In the episode when Deadpool works with Spider-Man, he and Spidey were in one of these jets. Peter wondered where he got it and Deadpool said it was a gift from Tony. It made me laugh at the scene they did when Tony is just standing there dumbfounded at one of the missing jets. Even funnier how Peter says, "He never gave me a jet."

(2) The first three things Steve says comes from the Deadpool comic 'I Rule, You Suck'. The next two things are from 'Evil Deadpool'. And yes, Steve was in both those comics. Natasha was in 'I Rule, You Suck' with him, too.

(3) I actually found out that DP and Black Widow use to date. I don't know if it's true, but it's kind of hilarious in hindsight because their movie actors, Scarlett J. and Ryan Reynolds use to date. What really shocked me that not only did Tony and Natasha had a little sex fling that leaked onto the internet, but at some point they were engaged. No wonder why they're shipped. It's canon!

Anyways, review!