Chapter 11: A strong kind of woman

Hermione had always thought of herself as a strong kind of woman. She had handled the blows of the last few days quite well in her opinion and was stunned to find herself crying yet again. This time however it wasn't sadness, which was controlling her body. It was anger.

When they had arrived at home again, it had been quiet between them. At first they had tried to play it down. Acting as if it didn't matter, that their trip did nothing for their cause. But after another few hours of discussing and making plans the dull feeling of numbness and tiredness settled over them. The whole situation seemed worse than before. Mainly because they had gotten their hopes up only to have them crushed again. Hermione's morning sickness had gotten the better of her and after she had emptied her stomach of its content, her unhappiness had only increased.

Severus, looking defeated himself, had tried to calm her down - being the perfect husband he seemed to be all the time. His empty promises and reassuring words weren't helping or leading them anywhere. Maybe her hormones were off, but for some reason she was not in the mood for hope and optimism. It didn't matter to her, that he had written to Harry immediately after they had gotten home. Asking him to do a background check on everyone working in the potions shop. Where was the point in that? The people had been decent and friendly.

Her anger had overwhelmed her. She had opened her mouth and a flood of unfair words had come out. Letting out all the frustration and exclusion she had been feeling these past few days. Of course it hadn't been his fault and she hadn't meant to, but after some time she had started blaming Severus for her situation.

"I wish you would have kept an eye on me.", she had said bitterly, with a sad look in her eyes. He hadn't commented on it and that had made her angry. She knew he was trying to stay calm and reasonable, but she needed someone to scream at her, someone to blame. With Ron and Harry, there had always been chances to play know-it-all. They had messed up loads of times. But now she felt like a looser for not making progress and there was no one to blame. Severus was the closest to a scapegoat she could get. Her words had hurt herself, twisting her insides and for the first time she had started to wonder, if her being sorted into Gryffindor had been the right decision. Her husband however had taken it without a flinch. His face staying blank the whole time.

Hermione had been furious. She hadn't even paused for a second, but had talked herself into such a state of rage that in the end she had left through the front door without looking back.

"I need some fresh air," she had screamed and now she was standing at the very top of Hogwarts. The Astronomy Tower giving her comfort. She was lucky no one was up here. She knew it was a favourite place for many students. On her way, she had already started to regret her mean her words. All she could think about was how much it must have hurt Severus and she had begun to feel deeply sorry for her behaviour. Adding the anger into the mix had started the tears.

Now she sat crying and sniffing and hoped that her pregnancy hormones were to blame. But she feared it was way more difficult than this. The only good thing her outbreak had had, was that now it was done and over with. She had been sad all the time and now she had been angry. She could close this chapter now. Starting anew. She would not be getting her memories back. There was no point in holding this spark of hope.

Somehow it felt right to think that way. She would concentrate on the future now. Her baby, her husband, her family. First of all she would have to apologize to Severus. Drying her tears with a handkerchief she got rid of any wetness left on her face and hoped she didn't look horribly hysterical. She could only hope, that Severus would forgive her her stupid outbreak.

"Mrs Snape, are you alright?", a voice behind her asked and she turned around quickly. She had never seen the student before, but he wore the pin of the Gryffindor head boy. Quickly nodding she gave him a smile. Shame burned on her face. She hadn't planned on a student to see her like this. "Yes, everything's fine," she answered and gave him a half-hearted smile.

The boy still looked concerned. "I don't mean to be nosey, but are you unwell because of the pregnancy? Would you like to talk about it?"

Hermione stilled, taking another look at him. He was blonde and tall and had kind blue eyes. It was hard to judge a person's character by their looks, but this boy seemed friendly. "Did I tell you about it?" She didn't think the pupils would know already.

The head boy nodded. "Yes, don't you remember? I came to your lab last Thursday to give you the essay about the Dreamless Draught. You implied it then."

Hermione took a step towards him. He had been in her lab last Thursday? That had been the day she had lost her memories. Suddenly interested in what he had to say, she smiled. Maybe he could tell her more about that day. Feeling confident with her decision she decided to play the teacher now.

"What I tell you now, is confidential. Do you understand?" She waited for him to nod. And like any other good student, he did.

"You can't tell anyone, but the truth is, I lost my memory. That's why I haven't been teaching, lately. I hope I can trust you with this information, Mr…"

"Fo-Foster. Cody Foster." he stuttered at fist, but quickly caught himself. "Don't worry Mrs Snape. I know how to keep a secret. I haven't told anyone about your pregnancy either."

Hermione nodded. "Thank you. But now, Mr Foster, I have to know everything about the day you saw me in the lab. What was I doing? Did you notice anything strange? Were there any potions visible? Any detail might help me. Why were you even in my lab?"

The boy took a deep breath and nodded slightly. "Okay, let me think… My essay was due on Thursday morning, but Gordon Briggs had this annoying rat incident and I had to escort him to the Hospital Wing, which is why I missed your class. And… after that I had other classes to attend to. At first I was afraid you'd let me fail, but during lunch I got hold of you and explained the situation to you and you allowed me to bring the essay to your lab."

He scratched his neck.

"I could have given you the essay during lunch, but you said it was okay to bring it later. So… I was at the lab around two o'clock. You were alone, brewing a potion. It was orange coloured and non-transparent. When I asked you about it, you said it was to ease your stomach."

He smiled.

"You must know I'm familiar with morning sickness potion and the one you made looked exactly like it. My mom used to take it a lot, when she was pregnant with my brother." He seemed to be proud of his knowledge. "I asked you about it. Not because I'm nosey or anything, of course! ... You confirmed that it was a morning sickness potion and said you trust me to keep quiet about it. Then I gave you the essay and went upstairs again. I didn't notice anything strange, I'm sorry… Then again I have only been to your lab twice, so I wouldn't know, if anything were out of place. So far it seemed normal. Is that information helpful?" He looked at her expectantly, until she nodded.

"So you are sure, the potion I made was a morning sickness potion?"

"Yes."

"And there weren't other potions standing around, other than on the shelves?"

"Only ingredients for the potion you made. Everything else looked pretty clean to me. But you are always so tidy when you are preparing potions. I like that a lot." The last part made him blush and Hermione supressed her eyebrows from rising in surprise. Was this student interested in her? Deciding to ignore his last sentence, she thought about his words. At least now she knew she hadn't been brewing dangerous potions on the day she had lost her memories. A morning sickness potion took three hours to brew. And Severus had seen her again around three o'clock. That was not nearly enough time to clean everything, arrange all the ingredients for another potion, brew it and clean everything again.

"Thank you, Mister Foster. You've been very helpful. I trust you to be truthful to your word and keep my secret." When he nodded, Hermione smiled and excused herself.

AN: I will be moving house pretty soon, but I hope I will be able to update this story more frequently. Anyways, I know what you are thinking: We need more Severus and Hermione time. On it! Stay tuned.