On the last episode:

"Goodnight, Rei..."

"Goodnight, Shinji-kun."

And so, he fell asleep again, head nestled comfortably between Rei's breasts. The girl followed suit soon after, returning to a quiet slumber. But there was one thing that Shinji had failed to notice and Rei hadn't given an inkling of a thought to mention: the fact that she always slept naked.

Rei enjoyed an exceptionally pleasurable sleep that night-- who knew Shinji liked hugging his pillows?

Love Shinji

-- an Evangelion/Love Hina crossover

by Project Cala

The sun was dawning. For those of you that aren't quite as literate, that means it's morning.

It was a nice morning, too. The weather was dazzlingly sunny, though that had been the norm for the last fifteen years-- stupid Second Impact! Just had to go and throw the Earth's axis out of alignment-- as if the environment wasn't screwed enough already... Where the hell are my snowy winters, dammit! Err, anyway...

Morning; yeah! It was morning, at least for the small island nation of Japan-- and probably its neighbours too, but they're not really important so we needn't linger on the details of what their morning was like, although it'd be much of the same...

Let's zoom in a little further, to where a city called Hinata was welcoming the first rays of sunlight. Now a little closer, to a remote-ish part of the city by the hills, a place quickly becoming known to the citizens as 'The Catapult', due to the near-daily phenomenon of one extremely unfortunate nineteen year-old male being launched across the city skies, and limping home once he'd landed.

To those who actually lived in the so-called madhouse, it was called the 'Hinata House', both affectionately and... because that's what its actual name was. All of the occupants of the hotel-turned-girls'-dorm except for the aforementioned man were, as one could easily guess, girls. Though this was only a relatively recent development, once again the details aren't really necessary, as long as you've been reading the story.

Eh? Uh...

Heck, in that case, I don't need to be writing this narrative crap! What the hell am I doing? I should be giving you the rest of the chapter! Wait, what the hell are you doing? Just scroll down! Common sense, people!

Intermission (Chapter Ten): Hot Springs Hijinks, Part Two

- Second floor corridor -

Waking up was normally an easy thing for Shinji, being used to early morning training sessions with Motoko, and being a generally well-disciplined person. But currently he was having trouble tearing his conscious away from the depths of his dreams. And as fate-- otherwise known as the 'Blatantly Obvious Outcome' --would have it, they were of a rather sexual nature, probably an MA rating. Anyone want to guess?

-dream snippet-

Dream-Shinji was extremely confused. He had questions to answer, and he would've too, if his words weren't coming out all wrong. When he'd meant to say 'what's going on?', it instead came out as: "Oh yeah, that's it baby! Faster! Don't stop!"

The shockingly-unclothed girl kneeling in front of his equally-unclothed self was only happy to oblige. Though had Shinji been able to ask what he'd actually wanted to, she might've answered him, were her mouth not presently 'busy'. Failing that, she could've tried sign language-- if her hands weren't similarly 'occupied' either.

Fighting against the haze of pleasure that clouded his mind, Shinji dared to peek down, curious-- at a time like this? --to know who would be so forward as to-- ahem --suck him off, even in a dream. Her features registered slowly in his eyes, one by one. Smooth milky skin, lean supple fingers, and... Suddenly she looked up at him, with eyes of ruby red, framed by short light-blue hair.

Rei!

-end dream snippet-

Shinji's eyes shot open, only to shut close again from the intense pain of abrupt exposure to sunlight. Once the glaring whiteness disappeared from his vision and they had adjusted to the light of day, he lifted his head up, looking around groggily. 'Ah, there's my pillow!'

Reaching out with a hand he grabbed it, only to hear it let out a quiet gasp. He thought for a moment, until coming to a conclusion. 'Oh, I get it... This is one of those times where I dream that I'm awake...' The 'pillow' now moaned, and his headrest squirmed about. Shinji decided his futon was just bundled together and forced himself up to straighten it out and go back to sleep. 'But since this a dream, I already am asleep. Ha, funny...'

He arched back, stretching his shoulders as a great yawn overcame him. Blinking away the tears, he realised he was indeed awake, and that what he'd been sleeping on was in no shape or size a futon-- nowhere close. His eyes almost popped out of their sockets. 'Rei again!'

The contents of the real dream flooded back into conscious memory, and Shinji violently suppressed the overwhelming urge to scream, physically clamping his own jaws shut. He needn't have bothered; Asuka had just opened her door.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAHH!"

It was a nice morning, indeed.

- Somewhere in Hinata City -

Sailing through the air in an arc, Shinji had just enough time to glance down at the city and 'hmm' appreciatively once before having to twist and flip his body around to prepare for a predictably painful landing. He hit the ground feet-first at roughly 15 km/h, and an angle of 75-80 degrees, the impact spiking up his shins and into his knees. They felt as if they'd collapse, but it saved him from more serious injury.

A garbled male scream could be heard getting louder-- meaning closer --and Shinji immediately jumped clear to the side. Split-seconds later, Keitaro's head struck the earth like a meteor and skidded along nearly ten metres before coming to a stop. Passers-by seemed both frightened and concerned, but only momentarily, for it was a common-enough occurrence by now.

Standing up weakly, the ronin rummaged around in his pockets for a large bandage, which he slapped on his head to stem the geyser of blood that spurted. "You want one too, Shinji?"

"No thanks, I'm alright," the boy replied, brushing off dust from his clothes. "So, what are you in for?"

"What? Oh, um... I was, um... staring," Keitaro replied distractedly, frantically searching his pockets again for something, muttering. He quickly gave up, slumping with a defeated sigh. 'Looks like I've left the grocery list behind yet again... Well, I'll be ready next time! Then I'll show--'

Shinji poked the older teen who, to him, looked like he was performing some sort of silent stage drama of his own. "Are we going to head back yet, or do you want to stay here and busk for a few hours? From what I've heard, you probably need the money..."

Keitaro bowed his head apologetically. "Err, sorry... Just got caught up in my thoughts a little."

The two males climbed the top of a nearby hill to watch the awe-inspiring sight of dawn rising up over the horizon. With arms wide open, they greeted the morning, breathing in the refreshing breeze that blew past and also drinking in the irony of how the morning had greeted them-- with a Naru-punch each. Their surreptitious glances at each other connected, and they cracked up laughing.

"I never knew the city looked so beautiful from above," Shinji said finally.

"Yeah," Keitaro chuckled. "I consider myself pretty lucky; it's not a sight every man gets to see."

"Or survives to see again day after day."

"True, very true."

- Room 202 (Kanako's), Hinata House -

Standing out on the veranda of the room, Kanako stared out towards the stairs leading up to the dorm, absently stroking behind Kuro's ears. Though externally her expression was the usual placid mask she wore, internally her mind was whirling with emotions-- mostly jealousy, but also traces of anger and confusion. Of course, like the good little guardian spirit he was, Kuro could sense all this turmoil.

The cabbit climbed onto her hand and up to her shoulder, where it sat nuzzling her cheek. "Care to talk about your problems? I hear it's easier for humans to let it out, instead of brooding over it by themselves."

"I don't know what to do, Kuro," Kanako murmured gloomily. "I can't blame Shin-chan for being surrounded by so many other girls; it just seems to be integrating into his character now... I used to be fine with it, but it's been starting to hurt recently, seeing him directing his attention to someone else apart from me... Since when did I become so selfish?"

But she already knew the answer to that question.

"Since he told you he loved you," Kuro provided aloud.

"I'm so in conflict," she said, shaking her head sadly. "There are two identities fighting within me: the girl who wants nothing more than to reciprocate his feelings; and the sister who wants him to be happy in any relationship he chooses."

"And which of them do you want to be?"

Kanako bit her lip, unable to reply. "I... I can't decide."

Kuro hopped off her shoulder and onto the railing, to pace back and forth across it. "That's a lie, Kanako. You and I both know that deep inside, beneath the storming clouds that obscure your vision, you've already made up your mind. I must say, there's a lot of thread to unravel."

Blinking away the moisture gathering in her eyes, Kanako glared at her familiar. "You're such a damned know-it-all. Of all the Guardian Spirits Hina obaa-san could've sent me, why did I have to be stuck with the one that can talk and read minds?"

"We all can," the cabbit replied dryly. "All four of us; it's part of the job description. Us spirits can't help-- sorry, wrong word: 'guide' --people if we can't even communicate with them. Speaking of which, I wouldn't be surprised if that little flying turtle was one of my old buddies in disguise..."

- Third floor corridor, Hinata House -

"But what if he's hurt?" Naru practically whined. "Shinji just isn't invincible like Keitaro is! What if he's broken a leg or something and can't walk home? We should really go out and look for him..."

"You're worrying far too much, " Kitsune said, leaning in her friend's doorway. "Even though you did punch him pretty hard, you know Shinji's not the type you can bring down easily. He's a fighter; trained in Shinmeiryuu kendo and Urashima-ryu jujitsu!"

"Ooh, alright... But if he's not back in an hour-- no, make that two --I'm going searching for him."

"He'll be back far before then, Naru." Stepping back, she closed the sliding door to Naru's room and had only taken a few steps towards the stairs when she caught a whiff of something in the air. Kitsune grinned; the smell was an extremely familiar one. 'Cheap alcohol, probably beer... Brand? Hmm, Yebisu, I think...'

Behind the closed door to Room 303 were the temporary occupants, one Misato Katsuragi and one warm water penguin, making up for their missed wake-up beer with nearly double the amount. Where exactly the purple-haired woman had secretly stashed all these cans away in just a single travel backpack was beyond anyone else's guess.

There was a loud knock on the door, and Misato almost dropped her can. However, she couldn't stop a large portion of her drink from spilling out onto her sleeping shorts where it soaked in immediately. 'Well this just feels wonderful,' the woman thought sarcastically, attempting to wipe as much of it off herself as possible. "Just wait a minute, Shinji! Don't open the door yet!"

The voice that replied was female, meaning it wasn't Shinji, but after the previous evening's cross-dressing fiasco, one couldn't be 100 percent certain about that. "Uh, Katsuragi-san? This is Mitsune Konno; the one passed out during yesterday's introductions? I was wondering if you'd like to join me for some warm sake in the hot springs."

"Warm sake? Hot springs?" Misato's interest was definitely piqued.

"Just a friendly gesture, and hey, I'm sure you'd like a drinking buddy." Kitsune wore a grin that was clearly audible in her tone. "Trust me, it's going to be many times better than the Yebisu you've snuck in without Shinji knowing."

A bundle of clothes gathered in her arms, Misato opened the door. "He gets on your case about drinking, too?"

The grin on the teen's face widened. "Lady, I'm the reason he gets on people's cases."

- Kitchen, Hinata House -

A hungry Pen-Pen waddled into the kitchen, wondering if there was any tasty things to plunder from the fridge in this foreign place. He looked up at the large appliance and warked in despair; the door handle was attached at a height a penguin of his height simply could not reach.

He cast a sweeping gaze around the kitchen, seeking something that he could use to elevate himself to the appropriate level. The only things he saw were chairs to a standard-sized table, and once more he despaired; penguin legs just weren't designed for climbing, or even jumping-- at least not in an efficient vertical fashion.

The avidly chattering voices of two unfamiliar humans were approaching, and Pen-Pen knew he only had two options, both of which were conditioned reflexes from living in the Katsuragi household: one, escape quickly to avoid any accusations of disappearing food; or two, to act nonchalant and innocent, though this had rarely been successful-- usually due to his beak being full of fish or beef jerky at the time.

Panicking, he ran towards the only exit to the kitchen, and bumped into a slim tanned leg.

"Hey, what's this thing?" Su curiously poked the now-fallen and floundering avian.

"It's a penguin, Su," Shinobu replied. "And before you ask, no, it's not a snack."

She shrugged. "Turtles taste better anyway."

Crouching down, the indigo-haired girl put the bird on its feet again. "Hi there," she greeted with a smile, which faltered briefly as she tried to decipher his name tag. "'Pen-two'? 'Pen-squared'?"

Shaking his head, the penguin pointed to himself twice slowly.

"'Pen... Pen'?"

"Wark," he said nodding.

"Nice to meet you, Pen-Pen," Shinobu said, smiling again. "Were you hungry or-- Su!"

Su sat in a chair, licking a thick yellowish liquid off her finger. On the table in front of her was a plastic carton of the stuff from the still-open freezer. "This banana ice-cream tastes a bit weird, Shinomu. Are you sure you made it properly?"

"That's because it's not frozen yet!"

"Oh..."

- Courtyard/garden, Hinata House -

"Could you at least let us get washed up a bit?"

Motoko and Shinji struggled in the surprisingly strong grasps of an inebriated Kitsune and Misato, who were dragging their respective younger friends downstairs. They handed each teen a wet towel, giggling madly without apparent reason-- apart from being drunk. "You don't have time for that; we've got a contest to run."

'And I thought I'd been through enough of this already,' Motoko sighed.

'I knew this wouldn't slide quietly,' Shinji thought, rolling his eyes.

"Here you are," Kitsune/Misato declared in proud unison. "Your stage, your audience."

The stage was the porch to the courtyard/garden in the interior of Hinata, almost directly in the centre. The audience was Keitaro and all the other girls-- who all looked somewhat put-off, except for Kanako and Su, the latter of which was bouncing about with cheerleader's pom-poms.

Two shoji panels were set up for privacy, and a shopping bagful of clothes sat at the foot of each. An extra little package labelled 'Shinji's' in Kanako's handwriting accompanied one of the bags.

"Now listen you two," Kitsune said, attempting to be serious but failing miserably. "It's best out of five rounds. Keitaro, Naru, and Kanako are the judges. There'll be no bribery, sucking up, or any other 'favours' to sway the vote. We want a nice clean contest, alright? Oh, and whoever wins gets to keep all the cute little outfits; we made sure they'd fit either of you just fine."

"Don't just stand there, go get changed!" Misato yelled at the stunned pair. "People are waiting to see a show, so give them a show! If you don't speed things up, we'll have to pull the bikini and wet t-shirt rounds forward!"

As they were each forced behind their changing screens, the pair-- the mental imagery eliciting extreme shades of crimson in both faces --couldn't manage a coherent protest. All that came out of their mouths was a garbled mix of noises that no-one, on Earth at least, could possibly understand.

- location indefinable -

"We're picking up two signals," a blue-skinned, four-armed alien sitting at a computer console reported. "Decoding now..."

Another alien, sitting up on a higher platform nodded minutely. "Put in on the main audio circuit."

Signature One (Motoko): "My sister's a demon-possessed incestuous lesbian nymphomaniac!"

Signature Two (Shinji): "I know the real reason why my mother let herself be absorbed into Evangelion Unit-01... Turns out my father was 'vertically challenged', and a lousy fxxx even with the miracle of Viagra-- serves the heartless bastard right."

Down on the lower level, the three alien technicians sweatdropped. One of them leaned over to its friends and whispered, "Whose idea do you reckon it was to hack into the SETI project and steal their deciphering program to monitor Japan for hidden extra-terrestrial life forms?"

"I don't know, Makoto," another replied. "Just like I don't know why the Commander wants us to wear these wacked-up costumes either... They're getting kinda itchy now..."

The last of the trio pulled its head off, gulping in mouthfuls of air. "I can't take it anymore!" Maya cried. "How is a person supposed to breathe through all that rubber, dammit!"

"I told you they wouldn't like the costume idea," Fuyutsuki commented dryly.

Gendo 'hmm'ed, but said nothing else. 'How did Shinji know I had "problems"?'

- Room 203, Hinata House -

The watch alarm beeped shrilly, and Asuka had to muffle the intrusive noise with her pillow before deactivating the useful but cursed item. She glanced to her right; at Rei. 'Guess I was right; she is a heavy sleeper.'

She glanced at the luminous watch face. It was time, excuse the mild pun, to put her plan to action. It wasn't much of a plan in the grandest sense of the word, but she'd at least spent more that five minutes thinking the idea up. In any case, it was time.

Gathering her futon and pillow up, she tiptoed out of the room with the bundle in her arms. Every sound she made seemed so loud; having to carefully open and shut the door felt like an eternity twofold. And then there was the other door, which she wasn't so sure about. Luckily, it was well-oiled and slid open almost completely silently. Dropping her bedding on the floor beside it, she stepped inside.

By the dim glow of a crescent moon, she discerned that the taller one snoring to her left was the baka hentai kanririn of the dorm-- her current target. Creeping forward cautiously, she grabbed two corners of Keitaro's futon and began to pull him backwards towards the corridor. Asuka nearly screamed when he shifted, murmuring something-- the only word she could catch was 'Naru' --before calming down again.

Letting out a quiet breath of relief, she dragged the sleeping man well out of the room. Picking up her stuff, she went into the room and again and shut the door behind her. What she hadn't counted on was the fact that though Shinji wasn't a particularly light sleeper, the noises had partially awoken him.

Not aware of this development, Asuka placed her futon next to Shinji's. Tossing a few more items down on the floor beside it, she lay down, and pulled the boy's blanket over herself.

Shinji didn't fail to notice the slender arms that wrapped around him from behind. Twisting his neck back, he attempted to identify the person, through poor lighting and sleep-blurred eyes. "...Asuka...? Is that you...? What are you doing here...?"

"I'm just claiming my turn," she replied nonchalantly. "So shut up and go back to sleep, baka."

He nodded acceptingly and turned his head back, happy to succumb to the night's embrace again. Then his eyes shot open, and his pulse suddenly quickened as he remembered something from not even a day ago. "Uh, Asuka? Are you, by any chance, wearing clothes? Please tell me you're wearing clothes..."

The arms around him tightened, and Shinji swore he could feel something soft-- two somethings to be exact --press against his back.

"Asuka? Asuka!"

(Reformatted and minutely re-touched for its EFO debut.)

A/N: Yeah, I'll freely admit these two chapters weren't particularly great. Neither was much of the response: nothing negative, but it was lackluster-- not that I was expecting anything more than that.

While any reviews or e-mail will be appreciated, honestly, don't bother. The chapters sucked.